Trepidation

Her question was too sudden. He was speechless when he heard Lucy ask this.

Would he grieve?

It was a question that should have been easier for him to answer.

His marriage to Lucy was only based on their own convenience. He wanted Yvonne to regret ever leaving him and have her return to him. Meanwhile, Lucy needed him to pay for her mother's hospital bills and cancer treatment.

He had given her just that. And Lucy was great in everything. She had acted out the perfect wife he needed for everyone to see. Just like that, Yvonne returned and came running to him.

His mother and Emma were happy to see them together.

After Yvonne left, his mother and Emma blamed him for letting her go. Landon also thought it was his fault that she left.

But after a month of her being gone and seeing her happy in the pictures she posted on Instagram, she seemed to be living happily without him.

Thus, he started his plan.

So, why did he hesitate to reply?

Why does his chest feel like an anaconda is constricting it, taking away his breath?

It should be a simple question he could answer with a 'yes' or a 'no'.

Finger-fucking his hair, Landon pressed his forehead against the palm of his hand. He stayed sitting on the bench even when his mother and Yvonne's parents left to discuss some matters. He knew they were most likely discussing continuing the engagement that should've happened between him and Yvonne two years ago.

It was something he had long desired. He wanted his first love.

So, why can't the woman he married stop messing with his mind and let him enjoy being with Yvonne?

"Landon?"

A hand rested on his shoulder, startling him.

He looked up and Lucy's face gazed down at him. He blinked. And Yvonne was standing before him.

I'm really going crazy. Why am I seeing her in Yvonne's face? Landon wanted to beat himself for doing this to the woman he wanted to marry since they were children. Yet, the more he said this, the more his chest hurt.

"Landon, what do you think about what Emma said?" Yvonne didn't notice anything wrong with him and sat beside him on the bench. "I'm not saying I should stay with you, but I miss Aunty and Emma. I think it will really help me if I can see them more often."

Landon listened to her silently. His mother and Emma were closer to Yvonne since they'd known her since she was a kid. And Yvonne treated them like her real family. 

And what happened to Yvonne was also part of his responsibility.

So, he should agree.

"O—of course, it's fine if you don't want me to. You're married to... to Lucy. She might mind if I stayed there." She released a short laugh. "I don't even know why she's always being difficult with me. Even this morning..."

Yvonne bit her lips and slowly looked up. Her eyes sparkled as tears filled the corners of her eyes. It was a look that evoked sympathy and endearment from other people. Landon could never bear seeing this look in her eyes.

Whenever he saw her expression like this, he would melt and give in to everything she wanted.

Yvonne was certain he would agree.

Landon deliberated on it. Would Lucy agree, though?

Shaking his head, Landon scolded himself for even asking this question. He and Lucy were only married on paper, and she agreed to help him get his first love. So why wouldn't she agree to that?

Besides, he should clear the misunderstanding to Yvonne. He must tell her that he was not truly married to Lucy. That he only married her because he wanted Yvonne to return to him.

But Landon found his mouth shut, as if a threat had gone through it.

The expected reaction and comforting words she thought Landon would release from his lips didn't come. Yvonne felt nervous for some reason.

She prodded him further. "Mom and Dad are asking me if I still like you. Do you know what I told them?"

Landon looked down at her.

"What did you tell them?" he asked, forcing excitement into his tone.

"I told them I still do." Yvonne shyly looked away. Her ears were red as she finally confessed to him.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Landon stood on the rooftop, the lights from the bulletin board outlining his face and body in a silvery-white glow like a halo.

After hearing what Yvonne had told him, he couldn't shake the odd feeling in his chest. He was happy that he got what he wanted. Yvonne confessed to her. And it was only natural that he reciprocated her feelings and started thinking about their future together.

But somehow, he felt choked up.

A cloud of unease rolled in the pits of his stomach when he thought of how he would prepare for Lucy's exit from his life.

In their contract, he didn't specify letting Lucy get a settlement after their divorce. But after sharing those two lovely years with her, Landon wanted to give her something. Then, she could start a new life without any problems. Will 10 million dollars do?

Where would she use the money? Landon pondered.

Will Lucy buy a new house or travel the world, as she told him before?

Landon couldn't stop the corners of his lips from stretching into a smile. He remembered Lucy dreaming of traveling to Paris, Tokyo, and Dubai.

Will she start a business and invite him on the opening day?

If that happened, he would buy the biggest bouquet and hand it to her. He would use his own company to advertise her business, and he would buy everything in her store on the first day.

And then he would visit her when he had the time.

Looking up ahead, Landon glimpsed a billboard of two models looking at each other.

"That's right. Lucy still has a lot ahead of her. She can start to date, too." Landon muttered to the air. He failed to notice the crease between his eyebrows and the bitterness dripping in his tone.

He felt that Lucy was still too young and inexperienced in love. She married too early and didn't know what loving someone meant. A man who only wanted to take advantage of her would definitely sweep or trick her.

What if she recklessly spends the settlement money on that man?

What if that man physically hurts her?

His blood couldn't help but boil at the thought of it. If someone were to hurt her, he would absolutely make them regret ever being born on this earth.

As he was musing on the rooftop, the door suddenly burst open, and a man looked at him with desperate urgency.