You Made Your Choice

"Why did you divorce me? Why hurt someone whose only intention was to love you?"

Feng Yu fell silent before asking, "If I told you would you listen?"

Ying Yue nodded her head in reply, a silent yes.

"Would you understand?"

Ying Yue didn't reply. However, her silence all Feng Yu needed. Ying Yue could never understand how the love she thought was the strongest in the world could have been broken when she had been doing everything he requested of her. He told her not to work, to stay home she did. She did everything asked of her, how could she possibly understand?

However, despite knowing she wouldn't understand. She wanted to know a reason. She wanted to know why he pushed her away. What his reasons were. Why he changed his mind.

For years, she had turned it over in her head - all the possibilities - yet none of them made any sense. And then she thinks it's because he never loved her. But that makes the least sense of all.

"Yue'er," Feng Yu tried getting closer to her but she stepped back "I know my mistake, I'm sorry. Please, come back"

The words she dreamt to hear for years have finally be spoken but she knew they couldn't go back to how it was. Not only did he hurt her, but it's been 5 years. Although her love for his hasn't changed. People change and so do circumstances.

Ying Yue allowed silent tears to fall down her face, hugging herself in attempts to keep herself together. To keep the hole in her heart that she spent years patching closed. Shaking her head, she tried to stay strong.

However, Feng Yu could see the pain in her eyes. But he didn't know what to say. He couldn't think of anything to say that would take her pain away so he only kept repeating 'I'm sorry'.

In between her sobs, Ying Yue managed to choke out "just leave me alone" while still holding herself.

"Ying Yue, I would always be there for you"

"No, don't be there," Ying Yue calmed herself down, enough to be able to speak through her tears, "5 years ago you made your choice, and there was nothing I could do to change it. You didn't want me in your life anymore and I had to find a way to live with that"

"Ying Yue-" Feng Yu tried to cut in, however, Ying Yue raised her hand silencing him.

"No, let me finish. You say you'll be there for me? I don't want you there. I don't want you there as a mere courtesy, a way to salve your guilt," Ying Yue wiped the tears on her face away. Her eyes showed signs of crying but flashed with determination. "Feng Yu, you haven't heard from me in 5 years. You didn't worry so you don't have to worry now. I'll be okay. Because I have to be".

After speaking, Ying Yue appeared exhausted from just basically... everything.

"You made your choice back then and I'm making mine now. Please leave me alone. I've cried more tears these past two days since I've arrived in China than the 5 years you were gone. I'm tired, physically and emotionally. If you don't have good intentions, please just leave me alone. I'm tired".

Feng Yu wanted to tell her he didn't want to get back into her life because of guilt but ...

-whack-

Feng Yu and Ying Yue were both caught off guard by the high heel that suddenly came flying through the air and hitting Feng Yu in the head. Turning their heads to the side they saw Feng Mian holding the other shoe in the air preparing to throw while breathing heavily, anger all over her face.

Seeing that she caught their attention, Feng Mian straightened up but kept the shoe in hand.

"She said to leave her alone," she stated coldly, "With all the damage you've done the least you can do it grant her this one request".