What a Dragon Must Do Pt. 2

"Some species may not be able to speak or type but that does not mean that one cannot provide exemplary customer service."

~Excerpt from, 'Winning at Customer Service' by How'd Udo

Scribe evaded the multitude of fire orbs that Lew had shot their way, attentively thwacking each of them with the wet towel. "Ok, so let's be honest here and rip off the band-aid."

They twirled back around after thwacking that last fire and faced the dragon. Scribe twisted the burnt rag between their hands and spoke, "Yes, you are small. Yes, the imps are also small, but the difference is that there are hundreds of them. That is why they guard The Dragon's Cottage. There is only one you and you are still a drakling and guarding against potential is for adults, not draklings! You need training and-"

Lew had listened until Scribe brought up the guarding the Dragon's Cottage. The point about his size hurt. Small did not mean less when one was a dragon. Lew felt that small just meant more sneaky which was perfect for guarding. Besides, Lew was classified as an epic dragon. Epic! How many business owners would compete to have the honor of a small, erm sneaky, epic-classed dragon guarding their business? Lew felt this line of reason was perfectly acceptable. He was a majestic dragon no matter the size and still growing, but he did want to hoard, ahem, guard. Lew corrected himself.

So it was little wonder that Lew was offended by the insult to his guarding capabilities and household-friendly size. Lew stared at Scribe and hit the call button.

A cheerful voice sounded out from the phone. "Imp Removal, Rehome Your Imps Today! This is Rhe'si speaking. How may I help you imp away? If you are verbal, press 1 or nonverbal press 2, or press 3 to be connected to one of our telepaths."

Lew kept eye contact with Scribe and pressed 2. "Dear Customer, please type your issue in the box on your screen."

While Lew typed his imp-caused woes, Scribe closed their eyes in anguish, mourning what had to be done. They reached under the sink and grabbed one of the light blue canisters stored there. Scribe took a deep breath, took aim, and pressed the little white button.

~Pssssshhh~

Surprised at the impromptu ice bath, Lew jerked off his perch, rawr'ing in rage. The little red dragon dive-bombed Scribe's head with the elegance of a seasoned fighter jet pilot, only Lew blasted fiery orbs one after another. Scribe did their best to dodge or spray the incoming balls of fire, but due to the sheer amount, their white robe was dotted with numerous quarter-sized scorch marks.

While the duo was engaged in their battle to the end, the phone had been left too close to the edge. The phone, however, lived up to its many positive reviews about being waterproof and was unharmed in its partially frozen state.

"...Hello. Dear customer, is everything okay?" Rhe'si asked. This sounded bad. Imps could be notoriously vengeful. Many customers had to leave their homes to contact Imp Removal to avoid any potential malicious pranking and or magics.

Rhe'si waited for a response but cries of pain, angry rawrs, and what sounded like explosions were the only things that could be heard. The troll pushed a sword icon on the keypad of their phone. "Imp Removal, Rehome Your Imps Today, Emergency Response Department, this is Jake your friendly warrior speaking, what is your emergency."

"Jake, Rhe'si here, we have a Code Damsel."

"Ah Rhe'si, what is the address?"

"The Dragon's Cottage. Contact is nonverbal, and imps are aggressive. Be sure to bring back up and a Nullifier."

"...Understood." An alarm went off on Jake's side, the intro of 'Thunderstruck' by AC/DC blaring across the connection before it abruptly cut off. That completed, Rhe'si switched back to the other line. "Dear customer, do not fret, help is on the way. Try to escape if you can. If not, just take comfort that our Emergency Division is on the way, so just-" Click. The line went dead.

Rhe'si's eyes widened, and he immediately tapped the sword icon on his keyboard once more.

"Imp Removal, Rehome Your Imps Today! Emergency Response Department, this is Joe your friendly warrior. What is your -

"Joe, this is Rhe'si. Where's Jake?"

"Jake went out on a Code Damsel. Does the customer still need rescuing?"

"Joe, the situation has changed. It is now a Code Seige, I repeat Code Seige. Requesting five more teams for backup." While Rhe'si was updating the Emergency Response Department, his fingers flew over the keyboard as he added the new information to his report. Documentation was a must, even in emergencies.

"Acknowledged. Jake has been notified of changes in the situation. Shadelings have been contacted, contracted, and briefed. Deploying in 3, 2, 1. Shadelings have been deployed. Estimated time of arrival is twenty-three minutes at 14:37. Rhe'si, check your Zip. I just zapped a copy of the contract over.

"Contract has been located and added to the file. I am putting you on hold and will try to contact establish contact with the customer. Please hold." Rhe'si tapped a red blinking button on the keypad. The phone went straight to holding. Rhe'si cursed under his breath and clicked the sword icon.

"Joe, the customer is not only unresponsive, but the phone is no longer working. Notify Jake and the Shadelings. Proceed with caution." Rhe'si instructed as this fingers flew across the keyboard, notating this latest development.

"Hold." Joe pressed the imp icon on his keypad. "Jake, this is Joe. Rhe'si attempted to establish contact, but contact is no longer viable."

"Seige formation is complete. Shadelings have just arrived on scene and have vanished into the shadows to retrieve customer. The five additional teams are in position as well. Commencing Operation Battering Ram in 3, 2, 1."

When the phone call was disconnected, Lew was furious. He fired orb after orb at the stupid Scribe as he flew by. The little dragon gained some altitude, and circled the perch where the phone was at to see if he could get back on track. Unfortunately for Lew, the phone's screen was dark and ice had wrapped around half of the Phantasm 2.0. Lew flapped his wings hard as he dove to blast Scribe with another barrage of fire orbs. What the dragon did not expect was that his tail would knock into the perch when he zigzagged out of the ice spray's range.

Scribe let out a cry of anguish as their weeks-old phone fell off the perch, tears welling up in dismay. They could not make a grab for it because of the minefield of orbs that the crafty little dragon had set up to corner them for further retribution.

The phone shattered when it hit the ground, startling both Lew and Scribe. The dragon coughed out a puff of smoke in surprise and looked down. Scribe put the canister down, their hands covering their face. It is possible that insurance could cover baby dragon chewing, but an ice spray caused shattering? Ah! Their pocketbook!

Lew looked at Scribe, then the shattered phone, then back. Lew could feel all his hopes and dreams of hoard- erm guarding The Dragon's Cottage. With the imps here, there was no way that Lew would be allowed to hoard, ahem, guard all the priceless treasure, no merchandise, Lew corrected himself. That was merchandise, not treasure.

That was it. Scribe calmly took aim and sprayed. All of this ridiculousness. Their broken phone... Again. More and more ice began to spread throughout the kitchen, eventually locking them inside the room. However, the due were too immersed in their battle to even notice the ice spreading throughout the kitchen.

Lew not to be outdone, twisted through the air to evade and returned fire. Scribe was quick putting out the fires, but the results were evident from the sheer amount of scorch marks all over the place. Seeing Scribe distracted, Lew swooped by thwacking the ice-packed canister out of their hands.

Victory! Lew bugled.

BOOM!