Chapter 5

Nyazepetrovsk, Chelyabinsk Oblast - Russia 23:44 - Present

Mom had gone to bed, I was always the last to do it, although now it would take me longer because of Ósip, he was taking a bath.

I was waiting in my room, I was reading a book by Megan Maxwell, they were interesting, they caught my attention, because they were quite erotic.

A while ago we had eaten delicacy cake with nuts, it was delicious, in fact I ate it twice and I was full.

So that's why I wanted to sleep later, I was very satisfied, I just had to brush my teeth, but Ósip went into the bathroom before me.

I got up and went to my window, my mom always scolded me because our house was warm and outside it seemed to be in Antarctica, but she wasn't here, so she always did.

I liked looking at the stars, the good thing about living away from so much civilization, was that the stars were very noticeable, in Moscow when I was there, it was not the same as in my house, here they are so clear, so bright.

Sometimes I think that each sun is a person who has died, that the universe is expanding because many of us die and that is why new galaxies full of suns are being created.

It would be like a huge rebirth, dying as a human being and living again as a star, in the vacuum of space, without anyone bothering you.

It's kind of weird, but somehow I like it.

What would dad have said about Ósip? I would have liked to see his face when mom came home with a young stranger, she was so friendly with everyone, surely they knew her in various cities around, I have never understood where she gets so much time to live .

She does so many things during the day and I feel tired as soon as I do my homework. I leaned against the window, I was looking only outside, the snow was still there, like all year round, white and sublime like my skin.

Stupid Ósip, how long is he going to take bathing? Now I understand why he was the only one who was in the high school bathroom.

Maybe what does he do so much while he bathes. I started thinking strange things, my mind normally always did.

What if he was masturbating in my shower?, God no!, then I would bathe right there. No, I don't think so, but what if it was, you stupid Marina, stop thinking about it. How will it feel to fuck underwater?

I got a reality shock, why am I talking about sex to myself, plus I've never had it. The truth is that I thought I would when I met Alexey, once he invited me to his house, it was two weeks before he stood me up.

He told me it was important, but I didn't go, he didn't say anything to me the next day, he continued to behave normally in front of me. That's why it was so abrupt, he didn't come that night, but he had no reason to leave, at least he never showed me any.

Maybe I bored him, I think I still think like that, that the people who will fall in love with me will get bored, I'm not a big deal, I don't have much to tell, but if someone really loved me, I would tell them until I saw a fly fly to Show him that I'm interested.

Although I hesitate to let someone into my heart, it's not that I don't want someone to love me, it's that I'm afraid of sadness, I don't want to suffer again, like that time.

—Hey —Osip touched my back out of nowhere.

I turned around, he was again with just the towel on the bottom of him.

—The bathroom is ready, I just came to tell you to go and lie down.

I looked at him completely, it didn't matter to see him like this, although the feeling of having him in front of my bed was strange.

—What is your mania with almost always showing yourself naked in front of me?

—Don't you like it? Look at me, don't you really feel anything?

—You're so conceited, how can so much conceit fit in your body? —I looked at him carefully again.

He wasn't going to lie to me, he had a body taken from a perfume ad, how come he was 17 years old?, what happens to his genetics.

—Hey, my head is up here, I don't like your body—he simulated my voice with a mocking tone.

—I was just looking at your abdomen, there's nothing wrong with that.

Ósip came a little closer to me, I felt a little cornered, behind me was the window, I hope my neighbors weren't watching me.

What would they think if they see me with a semi-naked subject in front of me?

—What are you doing? I said with a half nervous tone.

—Nothing, I just want to see you closer.

I pushed him towards my bed.

—Stupid! You shouldn't get close to me, I hate that and being touched, so don't do it.

—You're nervous and red, don't be afraid, I wasn't going to do anything to you, I just wanted to bother you.

He took the book that he was reading.

—Erotic reading? I didn't know you liked to read this kind of thing.

I took the book away quickly, I felt a warmth on my face and body.

—You already came to what you wanted, now just go! —He told her in a muffled cry, he didn't want to wake up mom.

—Won't you lend me that book tonight?

—Are you going to leave if I pass it on to you?

—Sure. —He grimaced and gave a strange smile.

I threw the book at him and told him to go away.

—Now go and tie that towel tight.

—Thank you very much, little pervert, after reading this, I will dream of you.

—Stop saying nonsense! Get out of my room.

—Okay, okay.

He's gone, He's finally gone. My body was still hot, I felt strange, I shouldn't read those things anymore at this time. I went to the bathroom, there was no sign of Ósip in the corridor, nor did I go to see if he was in Pavel's room. I left the door half open, I was just going to brush my teeth.

I took the brush and put toothpaste on it, I always took care of them, it seemed to me an important part of each one, although white teeth did not always symbolize being clean, mine were white, since I had recently gone to have them cleaned .

I was disheveled, I could bathe now, even if it was late. I looked at the towels, Ósip had used mine, the other one belonged to mom and he would use it tomorrow, on the other hand Pavel's was dirty. I could check if there are any in my closet, I don't think I only have a couple of towels, plus I always use two, I'm missing one.

I kept brushing my teeth, when I finished I would go to my closet to see if I had some so I could bathe. In addition, Ósip had left, internally I feel that he is capable of entering when I am bathing, he is so nosy, I should accuse him of his brother, I think he does not know respect or grew up in a macho family; the way he is is very strange to relate to. I rinsed and cleaned my mouth, I almost always got dirty with pasta pints. I took the toothpaste to put it away, I had lost the cap a long time ago, so I always had to leave it face up.

—Marina.

—Ahhhh!—Osip the catheter appeared again.

He had accidentally thrown toothpaste on his chest, I squeezed my hand out of fright when I turned around abruptly, it was all dirty, he looked at me with an angry face, although I'm not sure if he was really upset .

—It was unintentional, in fact it's your fault for always appearing out of nowhere, and how do you walk without making noise?

—I don't know, maybe I'm floating or I'm a ghost, —he told me ironically, sharpening his voice.

—Okay, don't worry, I'll clean you up, but why did you come here again?

—I came to leave the towel, I finished occupying it, I thought you were still in your room.

—Ah, okay, you can throw it in the basket that is there.

I poured water on myself and with my hands I began to remove the paste, it was more like caressing him and for some reason I liked doing it, although I could have done it with the same towel that he had left. Ósip was half naked, in fact he was only in his underwear, he had never been like this with someone, much less as many times as he had been with him.

—Does it really seem normal to you to be like this in a stranger's house?

—It depends on who the stranger is, if it's you, I don't care.

I was quiet. It was close to removing all the toothpaste. With the underwear he was wearing, he was very marked. I looked up at him, he raised his eyebrows, as if to say; Something wrong?

He was a pig, was he getting turned on by me? What do I have that turns him on, I'm flat on all sides, what if he wants to do something to me?

No, that's just exaggerating, if he wanted to do something to me, he would have already done it. I finished cleaning it.

—Okay, now you can go.

He did it saying almost nothing, he just said goodbye, that was strange, he wasn't leaving so fast? I looked in the mirror, I was totally red, when did I get so like this, now I understand why he left. He saw me totally embarrassed, did he realize that I looked at his crotch? Oh Marina, Marina, what a strange day you've had today and it's not over yet.

I was a little tired and I still didn't know if I should take a bath, I kept having a strange feeling in my body. I sat next to the sink, it was large, divided into two parts, on one side was the sink and next to it was a large empty part, I always sat there, since I could lean my back against the wall.

I was silent for a moment, without even thinking, just closing my eyes and with a blank mind, I still had that strange heat, my breathing was also different.

I lowered my hand to my crotch, I felt wet, I thought it was blood from my period, but when I opened my eyes it wasn't; I started rubbing with my fingers, slow, I loved the feeling I had.

I closed my eyes again, spread my legs a little more, leaned my head against the wall.

I put my middle and index fingers together to rub myself, I was still breathing heavily. I was so excited and I still didn't know why. I started to stick a finger. I had read so many erotic books, sometimes I wish I was in one. Osip came to my mind, why! Marina stop thinking about him! But his body looks so good to look at and touching him was really good.

I could have kissed all over his abdomen, bitten his lip. Stop thinking about him! Stop! my own head told me. Was I really getting turned on by him? Yes, he's stupid, a sexy annoying jerk. I put another finger in, I felt like he was wetting me.

—For the other invite me.

No no no no no no!

It just can't be!

He was in the doorway, looking at me, as if nothing had happened.

—How long have you been there? — i told him with a very fast voice.

—Thirty seconds ago, I really wanted to see you bathe, but this is better, don't you want help?

—Of course not, pervert! I took my hand from where it was and stared at him, is this harassment you know!?

—It's bullying if it bothers you, but does it really bother you? —He was getting closer to me.

He got so close that he was a few centimeters from my body, I was still sitting on the side of the sink.

He looked at him, his chest, his neck, he wanted to do things with him. He put his hand on my breasts.

—Don't touch me! —I slapped him.

The river, as always when he hit her.

—Did you just hit me with the hand you were masturbating with?

—Of course not.

He passed his hand over his cheek.

—Of course, Marina; in fact you have left my cheek wet —he passed his right hand over my lips. —Now you're not the only one who touches the other, after masturbating.

—Go to sleep, stupid! —I pushed him and beat him out of the bathroom.

I closed the door, looked at the clock on the wall. It was 00:00, the day was finally over, a strange day. A day that he didn't know exactly how to describe.

5:23

At least my awakening hadn't been as hectic as last night, I got up earlier than usual, I finally ended up taking a bath in the morning.

After what happened last night with Ósip, I went to sleep, it hadn't made me feel bad, but it had confused me as to how I felt.

And that was worse.

We hadn't said anything to each other, just a greeting, maybe he thought I was upset.

Little did I care about the truth, I was half asleep, there was a long way to Ozyorsk. Now I had gone back in the car, covered with my blanket, Ósip went ahead with mom.

Mom was doing her routine, talking to the person next to her, maybe she did it where after she left me at high school she would have to drive all day alone. I covered myself up to my neck, closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Lyceum №39, Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk region, Russia - 7:45

Mom had left, she left us both in front of the high school, just as she always did with me, although now she had also left Ósip.

—You arrive quite early, I always arrive right on time.

—It's not like I wanted to do it, the truth is that it's the only alternative I have, but hey, that's life.

I started walking, he followed me.

—We're not supposed to be together now, it was just one day, now leave me alone.

—Don't you want company? I doubt your friend has arrived yet.

—I like being alone or alone with Irina, don't think that because you went to my house we are already friends, not even because of everything that happened last night.

—I feel in many ways and I assure you that being your friend is not one of them.

—Just go there, the high school is big, the library is already open, just let me. Plus you didn't even tell your brother you'd be at my house, he doesn't seem to care how he feels.

—The truth, Marina, my brother did know, that's why I went to your house, yesterday I sent him a message when he was talking to Yeva.

—That's why my mom left you, and why did you want to come to my house?

—Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see a bit of your world, I think we live in very different realms.

—I know I'm poor, you mustn't tell me to my face.

—Don't get me wrong, I just wanted to say that even though we live so far apart, we look a bit alike.

I stopped before entering the high school.

—What makes you think that? You don't even know me well. —He ran his hand through my hair.

We have a similar look.

—A look is nothing, I don't know what you're talking about.

—Eyes don't lie, Marina, you could have half your face covered, but if your eyes are visible, that's all to realize that you've suffered a lot.

—I don't know what you're talking about. —I kept walking with quick steps, at least the ones I could take.

—I don't care if you tell me what happened, but you can't deny that something still hurts in you.

His steps next to me were normal, I really wish I was taller in this instance, my steps are very short.

We entered the high school, there were two corridors, one on the left that led to my room and on the other side the library.

i stopped right there

—You may be right, Ósip, maybe you are, but I don't think it's the same as you, there are many pains and I don't think yours is like mine.

—I can tell you, I have no problems.

—I'm not interested, just go, I'll go to my room, you go to yours or wherever you want to go —I separated from him and walked away.

I heard his scream, calling me, I turned around, he was still right there. He spoke to me with a high tone, so that I would hear him.

—It was a pleasure going to your house, Mochi.

He was smiling, the same as always, I nodded my head and kept walking.

The art teacher had told us that we had to be there before 8 o'clock, apparently Irina hadn't arrived yet, maybe what she's doing now.

Near Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk Oblast, Russia. 7:50 - Present

—Believe i'm going to be late for school today, there's very little left for the start of classes.

Better not go, —oss hugged me.

We were in my bed, I had arrived very early, as soon as my father had left, he arrived; like six in the morning.

—But I have to go, today it's art, I like art, it's one of the few subjects where I'm really good.

Again he hugged me, don't ever leave. I gave him a smile, I won't leave, I have no desire to, he kissed my forehead.

Shall we do it one last time before I go?

—I thought I was the sex addict, but you're better than me.

—Leave me, I had never done it the way we do it, plus I love how you do it.

—I love it too, your skin is so soft, so white, so sweet.

It's normal, don't exaggerate.

—I don't, I just love you, Irina.

He kissed my body again, my breasts, my neck. He could touch me whatever he wanted, I would never get tired of him, it didn't matter if he was obsessed with him, nothing really mattered now; he just wanted him to love me, to do it like he never did.

Lyceum №39, Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk region, Russia - 8:15 - Present

—Apparently no one else is going to arrive, so I'll start the class. Today I have made an appointment earlier than usual, since we will go to the Trud Stadium. The Oryol Museum of Fine Arts will give an exhibition of paintings by the renowned surrealist painter Rene Magritte and other exponents, so I need you to look at his paintings and those of the other painters. They will have to choose a painting and through it create their own piece of art.

I raised my hand, I didn't want to go to that place again, after everything that had happened to me there.

—Is it necessary to go, teacher?

—Of course, I called them before for a reason. Don't you want to go, Marina? It's better than being locked up in this place all day.

—Yes, I know, teacher, forget it.

Someone was knocking on the living room door, perhaps it was Irina, she opened the door, but who else was it going to be than him; he passed with the teacher forward, she introduced him.

—The afternoon class was full, so they have sent a new member to our class, his name is Ósip Prokhorov, I hope they integrate him well into the group, he comes from Moscow.

The teacher looked everywhere, there were only two free seats, one next to me and the other next to Lazarev, but it was obvious where she would choose, if life rubbed it in my face, I always had to put it next to me.

—Apparently Irina is not coming, so you can sit next to Marina, Ósip.

He replied that he already knew me, stupid Osip. He sat next to me, he didn't say a word, he just stayed there, quiet.

—Continuing with the activity of the museum, they will have two weeks to do this work, since we have three art classes a week, I hope that in all that time we can finish, although not everything should be done here, the painting they do should be located somewhere in the vicinity of Ozyorsk. Any questions?

Dasha answered him.

—I have one, so should we go find somewhere in the whole town and take a picture of it?

—Sure! They can go find some magical place and make it surreal.

There were no more doubts, she gave examples of work that previous courses had done.

—Very well, so don't forget anything, I'll wait for you downstairs, the bus is about to arrive.

I was one of the last to leave, just like Ósip, well, it was just us.

—It's funny, isn't it? We always stay alone.

—It is, and I don't understand why.

—You don't have to look for the reason for everything, if you spend doing that, you will never enjoy anything, just live in the moment; Stop thinking about everything, Marina.

—Do not tell me what to do.

I went walking towards the bus, I had to go down some stairs. The Trud Stadium was not far, maybe only 30 minutes from here, most of the activities of the lyceum take place there, plays, dances, parties. Everything in that place must be one of the few places where there is no snow, they always remove it.

Although in the same way it fills up with snow very quickly, as soon as it starts to snow, it is already full and in those instances it is used as a skating rink. I wanted to go to the place that was in the high school, there were no mochis left, but it wasn't the only thing I liked.

—Hi there.

—Good morning, what do you want?

—He gives me ten Mishka candies.

—Assorted?

—Yes please.

He charged me 180 rubles, I paid it and went to the bus.

Going through the other classrooms I realized that we were the only course that was going to go, I thought that we were going to go more, apparently they are only exits from one course. Sometimes I liked to look through the windows of the other classrooms, it seems that the teachers were embarrassed, they even jumped when they saw me there out of nowhere.

Outside the bus was my teacher, had everyone entered so quickly?

—Marina, I thought you had hidden.

—No, I was buying sweets, do you want one?

—Oh, thank you very much, the back is only free, all the other stalls are full.

I got on the bus, only Ósip was in the background, everyone else was on they were full.

I sat on the other side of where he was, the back seats were longer towards the sides. The bus began to advance, everyone was talking about how they had come to that place some time ago for the party. How many had met in that same place, in the Trud Stadium, in that damned place of my nightmares. I need you Irina, I don't want to cry while walking around.

he touched my ribs Ósip, like I did yesterday. I looked directly at him.

—I bought you this.

They were mochis, three boxes.

—I bought them this morning, I suppose you like them, from the label you had on your clothes.

I didn't know what to say, I was surprised, I looked at his hand with the mochis and his eyes. I picked up a box, said thank you.

—It's all the boxes, not just one.

—It's just that there are many, I don't know, I'm ashamed.

—Take them all, they're yours, —he insisted.

I put them all in my backpack.

—Yesterday I had a question, how old are you exactly?

—I'm 19, why do you ask?

—Nothing, I just had doubts, you're at least a year behind, right?

—One, in Moscow I didn't want to study a few years ago.

—At least it's only one, you beat me by two years, I'm 17.

—I think I'm the biggest in your class.

—You're the same age as Irina, she came from North Korea, it's a long story, but her mom was the one who helped her get out of there with her dad, she was Russian.

—I didn't pay much attention to her when I saw her, that is, referring to her Asian features.

— She is beautiful, the mixture of the two marked features of her, being Russian and Korean at the same time. She has sharp eyes, a fine nose and her hair is so shiny, not to mention her body, she is a goddess.

—I believe you, although you seem prettier to me.

—Don't you wear glasses? Because you need them.

—"Din't yii wiir glissis," —he mocked me.

I threw my backpack at him, he threw his at me, although then we both left them in the middle of the seat, a small separation made by backpacks.

—Shouldn't my bag be on my side?

—It's like a truce, if you dare to cross the line, I take your bag and throw it out the window.

—Wooouu! It's okay, I'll stay on my side, even though yours is prettier, that's unfair.

—Osip we are on a bus, what are you talking about? I got a little laugh.

—Well, you have that hole there in the part of the seat and on your side the seat is redder.

—It's the same, stupid.

—Of course not! I will cross the line and conquer your kingdom.

—What are you talking! I kept laughing.

Sometimes he reminded me of Irina, her behavior was similar. Making me laugh, because internally, they were broken.

Trud Stadium, Ozyorsk Chelyabinsk region, Russia 9:01 - Present

The bus had arrived, most of the trip I had gone in silence, I was looking out the window, Ósip had given me my space. I had been keeping silence for a while.

The art teacher had told us to leave our things on the bus, since she would stay in the parking lot, although I was very suspicious, so I took my bag with me, Ósip did the same. I was behind him, walking towards the bus door, we were going in a line, I was the last one.

Most of my term had left her things here, plus I felt uncomfortable if I didn't have my bag with me. Each step forward made me feel like I was going straight into a pit that was going to throw me when I came down from this place, that everything would return to what it was. It was just a place, a simple space, but it hurt so much knowing that here he broke my heart. I stayed at the door, right on the last step, I looked everywhere, I wanted to cry, everything looked the same as that time.

It was as if time had not passed here, as if yesterday was when my heart broke. Like a letter read, after so many years. Ósip turned back, he saw me there, looking at everything without taking the last step:

—What's up, Marina? What are you doing up there?

I looked at his face, he looked happy, he smiled at me, he had stretched out his hand to help me down. He came a little closer, we were at the same height, he looked me straight in the eyes.

—You have teary eyes, what is the fear of being here?

He moved closer, hugged me, wrapped his arms around my body.

—If you want to cry, cry, you're not the only one who knows how painful it is to return to a place that affected you so much.

I didn't mean to, I just pushed him away from me, looked at him again.

—Don't be afraid, Marina; I am here, I can be your lifeguard today, since your friend is not there.

I took a deep breath, I had to control my breathing, I didn't want to cry.

—Thank you very much, Ósip. —I took his hand, and he stretched it out again to help me down.

—It's nothing, I've also felt something like you.

The teacher was yelling at us, she was calling us, we were taking longer than normal. I got off the bus, taking the first step, the first step over this horrible place, he grabbed my arm, I left him, I didn't say anything to him. We got to where the teacher was.

—Why did they take so long?

I was going to answer, but he interrupted.

—I had asked Marina if could go get something at the back of the bus, it was my fault, sorry, teacher.

—No problem, but I will give you the indications of what you should do, I already told the others. They must choose a painter, a painting and write down a small part of the reason why they will be inspired by it.

We both understood, it wasn't complicated and she had already said it in class, she also gave us a sheet, one for both of us. He took a notebook from his backpack to support the sheet, he began to notice our names on the sheet.

—Marina, what is your name?

—Tsvetaeva.

—Like the poetess?

—Of course, like her.

—Have you ever read her? Her poetry is beautiful.

—No, I've always wanted to, but her books are very expensive.

—I can give you one, this weekend I will go to Moscow.

—It's not necessary, but what about you? Is your name Osip, like Mandelstam?

—Yes, it's just that he doesn't fit the last name, but you're right.

I looked at him, I had remembered a phrase from Mandelstam.

—Your pupil in the celestial crust, she turns in the distance and at ground level, she is defended by the slips of the weak, far-sighted eyelashes.

He made a shocked expression.

— She quote is from Mandelstam? is very pretty.

—I've read it sometimes, in the library they have a book.

—I didn't know you liked poetry.

—There are many things you don't know about me, although now is not the time to talk about them, you have to go see the exhibition.

I clung to her arm, right now it didn't matter if i behaved like that, it was better than being alone, feeling that i was going to cry. We entered a large tent, inside everything was so well organized, the floor they had laid was a very large wooden platform, although it was over the old basement, I had never been there.

—Which section are we going?

—Directly to Magritte's?—

We went directly to where René's paintings were, there were many, each one could cost a fortune, they had put up some walls, there was each painting.

The empire of lights, the son of man, the great war, the lovers.

—Which do you like best, Marina?

I pointed to the one with the lovers.

—What do you think it can reflect?

I began to think, it could be many things.

—I think they are two people who can't love each other, maybe they won't let them or one of them doesn't want to.

—Do you think one is lying to the other?

—Maybe, maybe that's why her faces are covered. One lies and she just wants to kiss him, but she doesn't love him.

—I like your point of view, almost every time I ask about this painting, they tell me that they are two people madly in love.

—It's the truth, a kiss between two covered faces, it's as if they didn't want to look into each other's eyes, as if that affected them.

We kept looking at paintings, I wrote down the ones I liked the most, although I already had my choice.

—And you? Which one are you going to choose?

—I don't know yet, I don't have enough inspiration yet, I need a quieter place, to see which one to choose.

—I understand, let's go to the next section, I thought there would only be surrealism, but the museum brought everything.

—It is good to show many collections, the next one is the love represented in art.

In this section there were various representations of love, again there was Magritte's painting, the lovers, two beings who did not know who they were.

There was also the work: The Kiss, by Gustav Klimt, In Bed: The Kiss, by Toulouse-Lautrec, The Birthday, by Marc Chagall.

There were many works, each one giving a different representation of love, that love that I couldn't understand, that I didn't know how to take.

Osip spoke again.

—Do you feel better?

—I think so, I try not to think about it, although I hope you don't mind that I'm clinging to your arm for so long.

—Of course not, Marina. —He gave a tender smile.

—I have several ideas of what to do, since we are a team, I think we should share ideas and all that. In fact we could go out on Sunday to find somewhere to paint.

—Alone?

—I suppose so, I don't know, you can invite your friend.

—I'd have to see if she can, but where are we going to go?

—Cherry Hill is a magical place, from the mountains we can see the lakes and all that.

—I've always wanted to go to that place, I think there's a cable car.

—There is, it's a nice place, I love it.

—I guess it's okay, it'll be fun.

We had two sections of the walking museum left.

The death section and the rain section.

—Which one are we going now?

—The rain section? I'm curious.

—Sure, let's go.

I was going down some stairs, it was the only section that was not in the tent, but under it, everything was set, there was 3D rain music and projectors symbolizing drops around us.

A magical show, it made me feel like I was in a dream.

—I think we're going very fast, right? No one else has reached this section.

—Maybe they've all passed, I don't know.

We stopped almost in the middle of the entire large picture room, he pulled out my arm, the one that was clinging to him.

—Why are you letting me go?

—I'm not letting you go, —he came closer, hugged me, squeezed me, although it didn't hurt.

I didn't know how to respond, it was all very abrupt, I stayed there, doing nothing.

—Why are you hugging me like that out of nowhere?— I said in a quiet voice.

—Because I don't want to let go, I want to stay in you, even if it's a few hours.

—I don't understand, —he told him as she held me in her arms.

—You don't need to understand everything today, just let me hug you; as if you were never going to leave.

I closed my eyes, hugged him timidly, with the sound of the fake rain and the darkness of the room.