Chapter 4

Lyceum №39, Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk region, Russia - 16:30 - Present

Mom hadn't arrived, it was weird, she couldn't call Pavel's phone either, I didn't know. She had no way to get to my house, besides Irina had already gone to hers, her father had come looking for her. She was hungry, she hadn't eaten much, she wanted to get home to eat, mom's food is more delicious. I sat under the bus stop, no one came to my house, but at least I was safe from the snow. Maybe I should have entered high school, it's very cold out here. Where are you mom?

—Hey, is that you?

I looked to my side, it can't be! This guy again!

—It's you, the little pervert.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes in disgust.

—Yes, it's me and you the biggest idiot in Russia.

—At least this idiot knows how to keep his hands to himself, —he made a smug expression.

—It's a pity I didn't touch you with the toes of my boots.

—Usually women touch me with their hands, but if you have weird fetishes, I can accept them.

—What?! Just shut up, stupid.

He finally shut up, sat next to me, although the silence didn't last long.

—What are you doing at this hour in high school? He —he looked at my clothes and said mochi?

—Mochi? Why do you call me mochi?

—You have a label on your clothes, says mochi, is your name like that?

I laughed, it was a mix up with the sweets that Irina had given me a while ago, she stuck the label on a part of my jacket.

—No, of course not, my name is Marina.

He stared at me, curious.

—What do you want? I also looked at him.

—Usually when someone asks for the name, they do the same thing back.

—I know you call yourself stupid, I don't need to know more, I turned my gaze back to the main street.

—My name is Ósip, a pleasure —he gently hit me on the head.

—Hey, who do you think you are?I picked up snow from the ground and threw it at him.

He was throwing her in his face, for being so annoying. Although from one moment to the next he took a big snowball and made the action that he was going to throw it at me.

—Nooooo! Don't do it, —I told her with the face of a scared girl.

He laughed at me for the expression I put on.

—Anyway, I'll do it another time, there's always snow in Russia. I ask you again, what are you doing here? It's not a good time to be away from home.

—I wait for my mom, she comes to pick me up to go home.

—You live very far?

—Quite a lot, more than 100km from here, where I live there is no place to study, so I am forced to come to this high school, and you? .

—Just like you I wait for someone, my brother comes looking for me, although he should have already arrived.

—Maybe there's just a little traffic to this place.

—Maybe the snow just covered the streets, Marina.

I looked at him, he did the same, our eyes met.

—We're both thinking the same thing and I hope that's not it.

—They are fine, they will arrive, my brother would not leave me in this place.

Neither did my mom.

Ozero Irtyash, Chelyabinsk Oblast, Lake Russia -17:58 - Present

The leaves rattled, they were breaking as I stepped on them, they were dry. Some floated in the lake, no one there, just my stupid heart beating slower and slower, thinking Joss would still be there for me.

I took a stone, threw it into the lake, it was a unique routine, I always did it with him, perhaps the only time we really shared. Something so simple, that it was transformed into what made our day happy, we competed for who threw it further, I always won. He told me that my Asian strength was incomparable to his.

The reflection of the sky that was darkening mixed with the lake, it was strange to think that that same reflection once saw us together. That the clouds that once passed over us, today may be in the sea, but I have returned, I returned to the same place where I was happy.

And you Joss?, where are you?

There are so many mysteries in life, like Joss himself. Behind me I felt the same sound of leaves breaking, in fact he had heard them since he was walking, but I thought they were mine or that they were animals. I hadn't turned around at any time, I just wanted to get here.

—Kim So-Hyun or rather Irina Lebedeva Makarova, the North Korean fugitive.

That strange voice, that name he had named. I turned around, it was Joss, taller than he remembered, much happier than he was. He felt so much happiness at that precise moment, I couldn't stop smiling, even though he tried to make my lips serious.

—First time you arrive before me, I won't lie to you, I didn't expect it.

I was very nervous, I didn't know what to say, my heart seemed like it was going to break out.

He slowly approached where I was.

—It's been more than two years and your lips still tremble when you see me.

He began to caress my face, slowly, like he had never done before.

—What are you doing here? I told him, my voice faltering.

—It may be that I got used to coming here or that you are I was waiting, one of those two is false, only you know which one is true, but be clear, it is not a coincidence.

—It's not possible that it's still the second, it's been a long time, I wouldn't have waited for you that long. —My voice kept cutting off or getting tangled up.

—It may be, but in the letter I did not mention what day you should wait for me, I simply said that you come at 18:00 in the afternoon. It was my mistake or maybe that was for the best.

—Only today I read the letter, I found it in my diary. I took a step back, he was very close.

—I gave it to Kim, last time I saw him, I didn't think he wouldn't give it to you.

—It must have been unintentional, he knew how important you were to me, he even keeps asking about you sometimes.

He wouldn't stop caressing me and looking at my lips.

—You look better, it doesn't look like you, even your eyes look greener than he remembered.

—Life has gone well for me, I had to return to Moscow that end of the year, my brother had to study in Moscow, however I returned a few months ago with Ósip.

—Why did they come back?

—My brother wanted to live in our parents' house, in Moscow he brought back many memories of our grandparents' house.

—It's good that they came back, —he smiled unintentionally, his mere presence gave me happiness.

—You're so pretty, it really seems that through your eyes I was never there, that I never hurt you, that I was never with you.

—I've tried to forget you, you weren't going to hurt forever, although I was going to always have you in my heart.

He moved closer again, not respecting my personal space.

—Were you going to be with other men loving me equally?

—Probably, I can't get you out of my heart, it's not my fault that I would have loved others and you the same.

—That's selfish, you shouldn't do it.

He brought his lips closer to mine

—Then help me forget you, Joss.

He kissed me slowly, feeling his icy lips on mine, placing his hand on my waist. While with the other one, he put it behind my neck. It was the first time he had kissed him and the first time he had kissed a man, he was twenty years old and four of them had wanted Joss to kiss me. He didn't touch me, he didn't grope his body, it was just my mouth with his, just his lips with mine.

He backed down, perhaps he thought that I no longer wanted to kiss him, but I went straight to his lips again, I wanted to continue kissing him, I wanted to continue being at that moment and with an agitated voice, between kisses I told him:

—Kiss me so much Joss, until the world stops knowing you.

Lyceum №39, Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk region, Russia - 18:30 - present

—Joss doesn't answer, I hope he's okay, there's almost no light left, night will come later.

Ósip had been calling his brother for ten minutes, he did not answer.

He was hungry, today he had eaten little.

—Are you always like this, Marina?

—In that way?

—So quiet, so distant.

—Yes, I'm not much of talking to people, the truth is I prefer to be at home.

Again there was another silence between the two, he just wanted to go home. I saw a car with a high beam, it almost blinded me, it was coming in the same direction where mom was coming from. I put my hand over my eyes, so I could make out the car and it was her. She was mom! I got up and waved to her, she came quickly to where she was waiting for her, she got out of the car quickly and hugged me.

—I'm sorry, daughter! I had to go to Yekaterinburg to look for something.

—Don't worry mom, the important thing is that you've arrived.

She wouldn't stop hugging me, sometimes she exaggerated a lot, it wasn't something serious, nothing had happened to me.

Mama fixed her gaze on Osip.

—Who is he? She asked me.

—A high school boy, he is waiting for his brother.

—Why don't you tell him to go home with us? Maybe his brother had problems.

What!, how could she think of that?, noooo!, he definitely shouldn't go home.

—I think he'll be fine, mom, let's go home. I quickly got in the car.

She stayed downstairs, went in the direction of where Ósip was. She couldn't hear them, she had the glass up all the way, inside the car it was very warm. I started to honk the car horn, so she would hurry up and get away from Ósip, but that was worse.

What was he doing coming with mom!?

Mom came to my side, I had sat in front. Ósip also got on, he sat in the back where I always went, he even covered himself with my blanket. I looked at her with displeasure eyes, but I didn't say anything, I couldn't be so impolite either, I didn't know what had happened to her brother. Stupid Ósip! I said to myself internally, the last time I would see you would be in the bathroom and now you're going to my house, god, if this is your doing, I'll go up to heaven to hit you!

Near Ozyorsk, Chelyabinsk Oblast, Russia, Irina's home - 19:10 - Present

The atmosphere was so warm, his body touching mine, his kisses wet and hot at the same time. Her hands that were on my body, in order to control the movement of my waist.

He was on top of him, feeling him completely, he was moaning, he couldn't not. It felt so good that he made love to me.

He left me lying on his back on the bed, he took my legs and raised them, they were crossed. He was like the missionary, but different. he felt it so deep inside and the sound of his skin colliding with mine made it more exciting.

—Look at me, —he said to me, my eyes closed.

I stared at him, he was so beautiful, so strong and his green eyes seemed to take me to another world.

—I love you, Irina, I love your body, your lips and having you completely to myself; In other words, I love to fuck you.

He got on top of me, he kept moving his hips, now he slowed it down and kissed my neck. I was having trouble breathing, I was too agitated and with that same agitation I told Joss.

—No Joss, we're not fucking, we're making love.

Nyazepetrovsk, Chelyabinsk Oblast, Russia 20:46 - Present

We had arrived home, much later than normal, plus tomorrow I would have classes again, today was a wasted afternoon. At least the literature guide was for the other week, I still had time to do it.

—Marina, wait for me here next to Ósip, I have to go leave something at Ágata's.

Agata was our neighbor, she was my age, although she did not go to my high school, she went to Snezhinsk. I was left alone with Ósip, she was looking at him from the rearview mirror.

—Why are you looking at me so much?

—I didn't know I couldn't look at you.

—If you keep looking at me, you should give me a kiss.

—What! Don't play funny, we're at my house, so you shut up or I'll shut you up.

—Come here and shut me up.

He was so nasty, every word of him annoyed me. I moved to the back seats, staying next to him and began to pinch his ribs.

—Leave me, malyshka, get out of here.

He started to push me.

—You go back to high school, stupid! Get out of my house.

—I would if I could, little pervert. —Ósip began to touch my ribs as I did.

—Do not touch me!

—You came here to annoy me, so now you put up with it.

—Let me!

He got me on top of him, almost hit me on the roof of the car.

—What are you doing, idiot!

—That way it's easier to tickle yourself, besides being perverted, you're a bad thought.

—Stop, stop! —I couldn't stop laughing my head off, he was too ticklish.

—Let me down so he can see us, my mom...

She was looking out the window, I kept my mouth open while she looked at me on top of Ósip.

I looked at Ósip with the same face she had, he didn't care.

I quickly got out of him and the car.

—You! Don't move until I come looking for you.

—Please, your mother did the same things and we weren't even doing anything sexual.

—Shut up shut up shut up! I slammed the car door very hard.

But wait a minute, then I remembered that it was mom's car, oh, I hope nothing happened to it.

The front door of the house was next to it, so I entered slowly.

Mom was pretending to order some things, it was very obvious that she didn't, she probably thought I didn't notice when she saw me.

—I'm hungry mom, what will we eat today?

She looked at me with a smile on her face.

—And Osip?

—He left, he said his brother would come looking for him.

—I'm looking at you from here, Marina, through the window, and why are you opening and closing the car door?

I hope I didn't break the door, I really slammed it really hard.

—It must be hot, the car was very hot.

She raised her eyebrows.

—After what I saw, I understand why you would be hot.

—No, no, no, I misused the words and whatever you think, mom, you're wrong, very wrong.

I moved my hands as if trying to explain something very confusing.

—I had thought that Ósip would sleep in Pavel's room, but if you want he can sleep with you.

What was my mom hinting at, was she really letting me sleep with someone, even when I could have sex with that person?

Wait, why am I thinking about sex and even more so, it was just a confusion, we weren't doing anything.

—Of course not! He is not my boyfriend! He will sleep in Pavel's room, no one will enter my room but me.

—Are you sure? I don't mind what you do Marina, I did the same thing as you, you know there's no problem talking about anything.

—Mom! No! Stop it!

She kept laughing.

—Okay, Marina, go find Ósip so we can eat something.

Who is putting me through all this! What a horrible day!

I left the house to look for Ósip, he kept opening and closing the door.

I think you broke the door.

I took him by the hair and took him out of the car, I was really small next to him, he wasn't that tall, I was between 1.75 and 1.77, but next to him I looked very small.

—Leave that stupid door and come in!

—Why are you so red, Marina? He kept laughing in front of me.

—Just get in the house! —I kicked him to make him hurry up.

I was very embarrassed by what mom had thought, I really didn't think something like this would happen to me in front of her, at least I had the consolation that it was all a lie.

I sighed twice, as I watched Ósip enter my house. He was so strange, ever since I met him. I treated him badly, I hit him and he laughed in front of me, I don't know it bothered me, although it had only been today.

Why are you like that, Ósip? Why don't you tell me anything?