Tomorrow will be perfect

I leave the party shortly after. I ditched my car I will get it tomorrow. I didn't think it would be a good idea to drive somehow. I pick up for mum and then I'm walking back in the dark. Leaving a party alone, no girls in tow. How I've changed I laugh to myself. My mind tells me this is growth. I'm going to be a better man, she will do that for me. I check my phone, no new messages.

Damn so this is how all those girls felt when I didn't message them back. What an ass.

It's only midnight, that's early by my record. Everyone else stayed, they were having a good time.

I start to wonder why she messaged him and not me. That's what it boils down to in my mind. Him or me. What's he got? What has he done that I haven't?

And in my state I decide I should just ask her. Right? be direct. I'm dialling her number.

It rings. If she doesn't answer that will be pathetic. I will not be Tom and keep calling and hang outside her house.

Is this what she does to guys? Gets them hooked and then just plays them off?

I'm just gonna let her know how I feel, that I'm available and leave her to it. If she still wants him then so be it. Just as I'm rambling to myself she answers.

"Matty?" She sighs sleepily.

I yearn to be there. She sounds so relaxed, I imagine her laying in the dark and I want to be laying there my arm hooked around her waist like I did this morning on my sofa.

"Hey, did I wake you? I'm sorry, I ugh..." I begin

"I was actually waiting for you to call but I kinda fell asleep" she laughs

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting" I smile

I can tell she's smiling back, she pauses.

All of my aggravation has drained away. I don't even remember why I was pissed.

"I just wanted to be straight with you, this is unlike me okay?" I say, damn I sound like such a catch. Complete head case this one.

"uh oh" she says "that sounds ominous"

I'm saying it all wrong as usual.

"No no, not uh oh. I wanted to say that I like you, that doesn't even cut it really. I've just spent over five hours thinking about just you. And what to do about you. Which I don't ever do. I usually think about me and just what I want" I ramble

"man this is coming out wrong" I laugh

"Are you just a little bit drunk" she teases

"Maybe but no more than usual. But yeah i think I would like to see how things go between us. That's if you'd like that too?" I say

I'm approaching my door so I light up a cigarette to finish my call with before I go in.

She's quiet. Surprised maybe?

"Honestly I was seeing someone just before I met you and it was nothing compared to this. I wanna be truthful, I'm not perfect but I wanna try with you" I say. I want to tell her about Jen, so that Jen can't stab me in the back and ruin my chances.

"I'm trying to be honest, I have a bit of a track record with girls that I'm not proud of. There's this girl you haven't met yet, Jen, and I was sort of with her but I'm not now. I think maybe we can try and be more than just friends, that's what I want" I say hoping she doesn't take it wrong. That's it done, I've laid my cards out for her to see, I am exposed and the next choice is hers.

"I'd like that" she says shyly

My tummy flips. Why am I so nervous?

"I was seeing someone, Tom, and it didn't feel like this" she states.

"I've been thinking about messaging you all night, but I wanted to give you some space to think before contacting you" she says.

Somehow this makes it better that she messaged Ross. She wanted me. She wants me.

"Okay I wanna kiss you now" I laugh.

"Me too" She says chuckling.

Girls don't normally make me feel like this.

She is perfect and she is mine. We hang up after all the cliches that new couples do when they don't want to stop talking to each other. I finally get her to hang up first and promise to text in the morning. Today has been a good start. Tomorrow will be perfect.