A different name for a different girl

***Matty's POV***

Extending my hand I indicate to Ross that he needs to give me the joint back. I don't think it's a good idea to give it to the girl, Tay I think her name is. Taylor, I wonder briefly it's a different name for a girl. I've not heard it before.

A different name for a different girl. I know I don't really know her at all. When I first saw her I thought she was attractive, and normally I would just beat Ross to it. When it comes to girls i usually persist until they give in to me. Girls don't usually bother me, they don't make me nervous and they don't make me feel shy or embarrassed. Usually I am out going and confident around them. But when I looked at her, all quiet and shy looking at me through her lashes I couldn't help but like her. And not just on a basic level. Wow this joint is hitting me. I never think like this.

I consider giving the joint back to Ross, but I don't want him pulling more moves on the girl. Blowing smoke into her mouth to get close to her, he must like her. My knuckles clench involuntarily. Keep it together, I tell myself hitting the spliff again. It's nearly burnt out anyways.

I don't think the girl should be smoking this anyways even if her friend is, what if she gets sick or I dunno passes out. Instead I pass it along to Rach. Not that she needs anymore. She looks at me all doe eyed like I've just asked her to be my girl.

I find myself sitting there watching Ross again holding onto Tay. This new girl with a different name, from a different place. She's hotter than any girl I've met that's for sure. I start biting my finger nails, a bad habit I know. But I need to be doing something, that's one of the reasons I smoke. It makes me feel like I'm doing something; rolling up the paper, lighting up and the release from that first hit. I catch Rach moving close to me again, I stiffen. We've been at it before, but I don't feel anyway for her. Like I've said girls don't normally bother me.

The bottle stops on Rachel. Ryan looks at it in distaste. "Ugh" at least it's not his sister.

She leans over and pecks him on the lips quickly. Eager to move on.

"Everyone take a swig of the cider before my go" Rachel says.

Everybody has a swig. Not me, I'm done with drinking for now.

Rachel tumbles forward to spin the bottle and I can tell she's hoping to get me. She doesn't, the bottle slows down near Tay. She is willing it to travel just a few more centimetres but it comes to a definitive stop on the new girl.

"This should be good" Ryan laughs and Pippa swats him. I want to hit him too, what's his deal with her?

Rachel leans into the middle nearly falling onto her face. Typically she has positioned herself right in front of me. She wants me to see. That's the thing, I find myself drawn to watching Tay, she doesn't want me to look. She pulls her long brunette hair out loose, cascading down her chest. It's shielding her face from view. She moves slowly to face Rach, leans in and parts her lips. She's leaning on her hands, her chest pushed forward. She's perfect.

Rachel and Tay kiss and I don't know how I manage to remain calm and in control. I decide to roll up a normal cigarette, giving in to the compulsion of keeping busy.

***Taylor's POV***

Somehow kissing a girl is an even bigger deal. She kisses me first, and prolongs it for effect. And then we both move away from each other. Deed done. I did it. She tasted like alcohol and cigarettes.

Moving back to my place in the circle there is complete silence from the guys. Matty is staring. Staring at me ? I wonder. Maybe him and Rachel are a thing.

"Taylor it's your go again then we should probs get going. Right Matty?" Rachel prods him. Trying to get his attention. She might as well start jumping up and down in front of him-it still wouldn't work.

"Uh huh" he replies looking at me.

"any chance you can rig it to land on me" Ross whispers to my ear.

I smile "I'll see what I can do" I promise.

The bottle rotates under my touch. It of course slows to a stop on Matty. Rachel is definitely wound up by it. Matty brushes his hair back eyeing my lips as if he can't help himself. I almost ask him if he's okay with me kissing him. I'm not sure why, he's just so intense.

Without saying a word I lean forward. Commanding as he is I can tell he is not bothering to move to me so I go the whole way. I part my lips softly placing them on his. I want to touch him, but I mustn't he might push me off.

The kiss starts off slow and tender, if the others were talking I wouldn't have heard. Only he exists in this moment. Him breathing into me, I can feel his inner battle. His apprehension and him holding back from me. Not sure what's coming over me I naturally open my mouth a little. I want him, I want to take his apprehension and make him want me back. He responds working his tongue into my mouth. Lifting his hands to my neck. And just when I think this can't get any better he abruptly pulls away.

Opening my eyes I realise I'm almost on his lap. I recover, and say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Sorry" I whisper with a small smile. I just apologised for kissing him. He looks at me like I'm speaking French. He doesn't say anything, he won't reassure me at all. He probably thinks I'm a hopeless sap, silly Taylor running into the arms of anyone who will have her. I quickly move away, out of his space.

"Let's get to mine, it's 6 already" Matty says dismissively. He's still holding my eye contact as I move to sit back with Ross. I crawl into Ross lap feeling the comfort and warmth that emanates from him. Weirdly he already feels like home to me, like I know him. I don't of course I will not cool myself by saying I like him and I know him. But he pulls me in and he wraps his familiar hoody around me smiling.

"You all good, Tay" he asks his lips to my ear and I shiver. He thinks I'm cold and He tightens his arms around me. I'm not cold be sends chills through me and I embrace his physical contact.