Chapter 50

"So..." Michael says awkwardly after Chuck leaves. "What do you want to do?"

"Kill Chuck?" Lucifer suggests darkly.

Michael chuckles at that. "Oh, I wish.""What'd he do to you? Looks like everything's going your way thanks to him."

"I just... I don't like this place."

"Join the club."

"Although," Michael adds, "it better than the cage, I'll give it that."

"Says the one who was actually in the cage when this happened."

"Okay, so maybe I do have it a little better than you here," Michael concedes. Well, "a little" is a bit of an understatement, but that's irrelevant.

Lucifer scoffs. "Ya think? After so long in the cage, this must be like Heaven again for you."

"They have very different dynamics, but I suppose it has a similar feeling," Michael agrees. "You would know. After you left the cage the first time, it must have felt even better, I'm sure."

Lucifer scoffs and crosses his arms. "Yeah, sure."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Lucifer lies. "Hey, I've got an idea. Let's play Super Mario Bros 'til my 36 hours are up."

"But —"

"If I'm stuck with you, I might as well at least to have some fun."

"Or we could, you know... talk?" Michael suggests hopefully.

"Unless our conversation has to do with little fat plumbers in red outfits, I'm not interested."

Michael cocks his head in confusion. "What are you —"

"Mario," Lucifer clarifies. "I want to play Mario."

"And I want to talk," Michael tells him. "And not about video games."

"Well, maybe I don't care what you want," Lucifer snaps.

Michael sighs and looks up at the ceiling. "Chuck? Any thoughts?"

Suddenly, a piece of paper with a picture of Mario in a red circle with a slash through the middle appears in Lucifer's hand. Michael cranes his neck to catch a glimpse before Lucifer crumbles it up in a ball and throws it across the room.

"You fucking asshole," he growls. With a glance at Michael, he adds, "Both of you."

"I don't make the rules," Michael replies with a shrug.

"'Course not," Lucifer replies. "You know I wouldn't follow them if you did."

Michael sighs. "Right," he mutters. "Well, it seems Dad is Team Talking, so —"

"Did you seriously just say that?" Lucifer asks, both incredulous and slightly amused.

"What do you mean?"

"'Dad is Team Talking'? That's not something you would say," Lucifer clarifies. "Literally anyone else here, sure, but you?"

"Is... is that a problem?" Michael asks, confused.

"Yeah, it is. You've been spending way too much time with these people for your own good."

"I don't have much a choice in the matter," Michael reminds him. "We're all stuck here, and, unlike you, I can't sit in solitary for days on end — not after the cage."

"Welp, sucks to be you," Lucifer replies with a teasing smile.

Michael just shakes his head at the angel in exasperation. "So... what do you want to talk about now?"

"Anything that's not Hell. Or Heaven. Or that holds any importance in our lives at all."

Michael rolls his eyes. "Fine. Want to talk music?"

Lucifer shrugs. "As long as you don't tell me you like Justin Bieber, sure."

~~

"Are you two talking about ?" Jo asks incredulously, walking up to the angels about ten minutes later.

"Possibly," Michael admits. But in his defense, the guy deserves some credit. He's not half bad.

"Does this mean I gotta hang out with her, too?" Lucifer whines.

"No, you leave us both alone," Jo suggests.

"Actually," Chuck tells her, appearing with them once again, "he can't."

Jo scoffs. "Seriously? Dude, you are abusing these God powers."

Chuck just shrugs. "Ah, whatever. I have a compromise in mind," he tells his son. "I'm guessing you don't want to spend 36 hours with both of them?"

"You know me so well," Lucifer deadpans.

"So," Chuck continues as if he never spoke, "scenario: what if I drop if down to 24 hours total? 20 hours alone with Michael, 4 hours alone with Jo? Sound fair?"

"No," Lucifer says quickly, then clarifies, "No, I'd rather have 36 hours with Michael."

Chuck frowns. "Well, I didn't expect that. Unfortunately for you, I didn't actually care what you wanted. I've got a goal in mind, and your stubbornness can only delay the inevitable for so long."

"I swear to g — err, to you — if you say 'Jocifer...'"

Chuck scoffs. "Give me a little more credit than that, Lucifer."

"I give credit where credit is due, and credit definitely isn't due there."

"You — Ya know what? I'm not gonna argue with you. Your involuntary twenty hours alone with Michael starts now."