15. A Little Bit Closer

Lena apologized repeatedly, and explained to Kara that she had no choice but to deal with Lex herself and get him back where he needed to be, hopefully without police involvement in order to minimize the risk to Lex and to L-Corp. Who knew what he would do, and Lena knew her mother was right to be afraid for him. He was so unpredictable, and the National City PD didn't handle unpredictable well.

Lena was able to sneak Kara out of her building through her own elevator so that she wouldn't be observed by Lex. She told Kara she didn't want to risk having her exposed to the escaped mental patient.

Before Kara could slip away Lena gripped her wrist and held it, forcing Kara to look into her eyes.

"I hope you know how much I hate seeing you go." Lena took an exasperated breath. "I really have no choice."

"Of course I know that, Lena.' Kara said with a reassuring smile. "Your brother needs you. And after all - family first."

Kara watched as Lena's expression became even more regretful.

"Thanks for an unforgettable weekend, Lena." Kara said, bringing Lena's fingers to her lips and kissing them in what she hoped was a reassuring way.

She felt Lena's other hand move behind her head and pull her forward roughly for a brief but passionate kiss before releasing her and stepping back firmly.

"Good-bye, Kara."

Kara felt her omega deflate at the sound of resignation and finality in her voice.

"Bye..." Kara said, swallowing back many other words that strained to get out. She knew she was still being heavily influenced by hormones, and that Lena needed to help her brother as soon as possible. She kept her eyes on Lena's until the elevator doors closed and she could see her no more. She stood looking at the closed doors for a few moments before she moved outside into the cool air of the city and forced herself not to glance back.

***

Kara slipped in to Alex's apartment as quietly as possible. After raiding the fridge she was able to slip into her bed without waking Alex and quickly knocked out.

Many hours later she awoke to her sister calling loudly to her. She took a deep breath, her sub-conscious seeking Lena's scent. She immediately felt the absence and rolled over, trying to escape to the peace of sleep.

"Kara, it's almost time for practice!" Alex yelled. "You slept the whole day - are you sick?"

Kara rolled onto her back and leaned up on her elbows, blinking slowly at Alex, who was standing in the doorway. She tried to rouse the energy she needed to get to practice at a break neck pace.

"God, Kara." Alex had come into the room and sat down on the bed."What the fuck happened to your neck?" Alex gasped, reaching to touch the dark bruise at the base of her neck near her shoulder. "And what the hell happened to you, you left the party alone?!"

"Didn't you get my texts?"

"Sure, that you weren't coming home, but where the hell were you for...the entire weekend!?"

Alex inhaled deeply. Her face scrunched up in disgust. "Kara, you reek of alpha. You've got to get up and get into the tub to soak it off. And you don't have much time..."

Once Kara submerged in the tub Alex resumed her questioning until Kara finally spoke up.

"Alex...it's a long story..."

"Well, suppose you tell it..."

"I will, but...I have to get ready and try to get focused right now. Coach is going to kill me if I'm late. Especially after she gave us the whole weekend off." Kara scrunched her eyes against the sudden, harsh reality pulling her out of her dream state and recovery from the sensory overload of her heat weekend with Lena.

"Kara. I'm sorry, I was just in shock. Obviously you've had...quite a weekend. We can talk about it later. Right now we just need to get you to the field. If you're late Sara will have no choice but to bench you at the start of the first game of the championship..."

Kara's eyes went wide with the realization and she finally pulled out of her groggy state and rushed to get ready. She mentally thanked Alex later as she sprinted onto the field, but unfortunately she was still late to practice. The coach decided Kara didn't have to sit out for the entire game, but she wasn't allowed to start. It was team policy and she couldn't make allowances for her star player, championship or not.

Kara was furious with herself for letting things get beyond her control. It provided her with a stark reminder of why it was so important for her not to get wrapped up in a relationship during this critical time in her career.

***

Other than not starting the championship game, Kara was relieved to find that there seemed to be no repercussions from her weekend with Lena. She continued with her usual schedule of lifting, running, and practice, and worked hard to maintain focus.

Physically she felt great. She'd had a phenomenal weekend satisfying the demands of her heat. She'd never been fucked and knotted so thoroughy. Lena had been an amazing heat partner, and helped her through it in every way possible - physically, emotionally, and mentally. And her time with Lena continued to fill her with physcial satisfation for days. In fact, she hadn't had any desire to touch herself, she felt so complete. But as time went on, emotionally she could tell her omega was discontent in a way she hadn't felt before. It was like an itch just under her skin that she couldn't reach. She missed Lena's presence and there was nothing to do about it. She worked to shake thoughts of Lena, especially at night. Her body, her touch, her words only beginning to haunt her dreams.

For the first few days after their weekend together, Kara checked her phone often, more than she would like to admit, to see if Lena had tried to contact her - which she never did. Kara would then set her phone aside, mentally chastising herself from giving in to the temptation to check it. Her brain reminded her that Lena had promised not to try to convince her that they should be together, or to pursue anything more. That they would spend their heat together and that was it. Lena was respecting her wishes, and Kara's omega tried not to be disappointed at the realization.

Of course, Kara was also fighting the urge to contact Lena herself. But after all her insistence that they couldn't be together, and the pressure of the championship, which would soon be followed by the Cup, Kara used every ounce of her considerable discipline and managed not to text or call.

By Thursday she had given up on hearing from Lena, and started to re-double her training efforts to take her mind off it. She laughed grimly to think that the National City Spirit had Lena to thank yet again, this time for motivating their star player to work double overtime.

Kara kept an eye on the news about Lex Luthor's escape and return to Arkham, closely. She was sad to see that Lena was not able to keep either event out of the papers, but was glad she was at least able to get him back in custody without anyone getting hurt. She found herself hoping that Lena would recognize how much she had done for Lex, but she knew instinctively that Lillian wouldn't see it that way and was probably giving her a hard time.

Kara sat pondering all of it at the counter of Alex's apartment, drinking a beer on a Friday night - the night before the first game of the playoffs. Normally she wouldn't be drinking on such a night, but she needed something to take the edge off so that she could go to sleep and hopefully not dream about Lena.

It was just after midnight when Alex suddenly came through the door, clearly surprised to see Kara awake. Kara had hardly seen her all week. Alex had been out late and Kara had been trying hard to get plenty of sleep to be ready for training. There was one night where she felt sure Alex hadn't been home at all. Both had been too busy with their schedules to catch up.

"Alex! You're home..." Kara said with a smile, happy to see someone she could talk to at a time like this. Still, she wasn't sure she should go any where near it with Alex, who was so overprotective.

"Yes, of course, I...live here..." Alex stammered.

"Ha! I know that, silly! I just haven't seen you in a while."

"Well I haven't...seen...you either..."

"Alex...are you drunk?"

"No, I..." Alex stumbled over to the couch and flopped down. "Ok. Yes."

Kara made her way over and flopped down next to her, snuggled into her shoulder. "It's OK, sis. It was just an observation, not an accusation."

Alex wrapped her arm around Kara's shoulder. "Speaking of, why are you drinking a beer on the night before a big game?"

"Just...having trouble sleeping, I guess."

"Do you want to...talk about last weekend?"

"Not really. I mean, OK, I don't, but also...I can't stop thinking about it..."

"You saw Lena, didn't you?"

Kara froze and stayed quiet. Eventually she spoke up. "How did you know?"

"Did you forget that I'm an alpha too? When Lena was here and I confronted you it got her very riled up. She didn't say anything, but I didn't forget her scent."

"So you've known...all week? Why didn't you say anything?"

"News flash, Kara: Other people exist!" Alex said with annoyance.

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"It means I've been caught up in a new relationship myself. And for once in my life, your life is not my top focus..."

"Alex...what...When..., I mean, who..." Kara stammered, trying to form the rush of questions moving through her senses.

"Why?...How?" Alex added helpfully with a laugh. "Well, at least I can tell you why. I met the smartest, most interesting, not to mention beautiful, woman I've met in...a long time..."

"Alex! Who is it?" Kara thought hard to try to figure it out, feeling relieved that it couldn't be Alex's ex Maggie, who she wouldn't have just met.

"You mean...the woman at the party - the L-Corp COO?!" Kara had experienced a lot since that party, and she wasn't recalling all the details.

"I,...Kara." Alex went to the fridge and pulled out a beer for herself. "Well. Yes."

Alex barely had time to set the beer on the counter before Kara was leaping at her and wrapping her up in a hug.

"Alex!" Kara squeezed tightly. "That's amazing!"

Alex struggled for a few moments before eventually squeezing her back. "Yeah. Thanks. I'm actually...well, I feel really...excited about it. Hopeful. Like I haven't in quite a while."

Alex told Kara all the details of her week texting and seeing Sam. Then Kara eventually spilled many of the (less graphic) details of her weekend with Lena and how hard her week had been without being able to see or talk with her.

"Kara, that is just..." Alex took a deep breath. Kara could see her re-grouping and trying not to come down on her.

"Alex, I know what you're going to say. But, I promise, it was accidental! And it was a practical solution for both of us. Our heat/rut cycles happened to coincide and...well...we just partnered up. I wanted to believe we could just be together for my heat, and it didn't have to mean anything. She knows I don't date alphas, and agreed not to try to make something more of it than what it was. She knows how important it is for me to keep up with my training! Especially with the championship, and then the Cup...it's just...completely out of the question that it could go any further!" Kara took a deep breath and looked wide eyed at Alex.

"Kara, you know how I feel about you getting involved with Lena. And if you don't, well, I think it's potential the worst idea in the world. I'm worried that it would distract you and affect your playing. I'm worried that it could go badly, and have repercussions for your career. I'm worried about all the things I've seen in the news about Lena, about what a player she is and how many women she's been involved with..."

"I'm worried about that too! Well, not the tabloid bullshit and not the repercussions - I know Lena would never do anything but try to help my career. You don't...know her like I do. She's very...caring. Protective. If things didn't work out, I don't believe that would change. I trust her, Alex." Kara took a deep breath. "I don't expect you to believe that. You don't know her at all!"

"So, I'm still waiting for the 'but'" Alex added.

"But...I am worried about how it would impact my play. And that's more important than anything right now."

"Yeah." Alex agreed. "But I'm starting to wonder if it will impact you more trying to fight this. I've never...well, I haven't seen you like this in a long time."

"I know..." Kara said dejectedly.

"So...what can I do to help?"

"Nothing. Just...tell me everything...about the COO." Kara took a deep breath. "I'm trying not to focus on Lena. And don't forget - other people exist!"

Alex laughed at her words getting thrown back at her. "OK. Well, her name is Sam..." Alex began.

***

The next day in the afternoon the team had what Kara felt was a mediocre game against the Star City Red Stars. It was one of the few games that season when Kara hadn't managed to score. Fortunately, it was a home game, and it helped to have the crowd on their side. In the end, the team pulled it off, so it didn't matter that she wasn't at her best.

It didn't help that she'd caught a glimpse of Lena in the VIP box ahead of the game, or that she hadn't been allowed to start and had to substitute in later. Of course she knew Lena would be there. It was a home game and the championship playoffs, it would have seemed odd not to have the L-Corp CEO there in the VIP box.

She was relieved that no one said anything to her about it afterwards. Alex gave her an understanding look and she felt Lucy's concerned eyes on her, but she left quickly after the game and skipped the after party.

The following week they continued their training for the finals, which would be held in Gotham City on Saturday afternoon. Every night that week at some point she found herself sitting up in bed, jarred awake by some graphic memory, or sometimes vision, of Lena. More than once she awoke due to imagining the icy cold of Lena's window, her body pressed tightly against it as Lena buried herself deeper inside with punishing thrusts. Another night, Kara was kneeling before Lena, who was right on the edge of an orgasm. As Kara curled her tongue around the tip of Lena's cock she prepared for the onslaught of cum she knew would come when Lena orgasmed. She woke too soon, feeling disappointed that she would never taste her again.

But the most painful dream memory was the one of Lena kissing her tears away as they were knotted against the window.

"Baby...are you OK?" She asked sincerely. When Kara woke from that memory Kara felt Lena's absence all the way through.

That Wednesday she brought it up with her therapist for the first time. She'd avoided it before, thinking the more she talked about it the more she would think about Lena. Clearly her strategy of not mentioning Lena wasn't making the situation any better. She blurted out the whole story in a ramble of words and tears. She felt some relief just having it all out there.

"Anissa, is there anything I can take...to help me sleep? I can't...stop thinking about her and it's keeping me awake. I can't afford to have an off game on Saturday. It's the championship game!"

"Kara. Of course there are medications I can give you to help you sleep. But that will only be treating the symptom, and not the cause."

"I don't have time to deal with the cause. I don't want to deal with the cause. I just want...to be able to rest. And forget..."

"OK, Kara. I will prescribe something. But I want to talk more about this."

"Do we have to?"

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, but I do think you'll feel better if you do."

"Fine."

"Kara, if you feel so strongly about this woman, why are you so adamant that you can't see her? Are you still sticking to that no-dating alphas rule?"

"Originally that was the reason, I admit it. But now, well, I understand that she's not like other alphas I've been with." Kara said, sounding defeated.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, I...honestly - no!"

"I'm not really following..."

"I don't want an alpha in my life. Or anyone for that matter! But especially not someone as amazing as she is...She's driving me to distraction."

"Have you ever thought that maybe that's because you're working so hard to not be distracted? What if you just...explored your feelings? It's not healthy to push them down so hard."

"It's not the right time, Anissa. I really can't afford it right now. It's too risky."

"I know you've been through a lot, Kara. Of course I know that. You've been working so hard and come so far. You've been through so much. Don't you think that maybe...you're ready to try more? To live more? Just...let go? Just a little bit..."

"No...I can't. The finals...the Cup."

"Kara, there's no reason why you can't have both. You're doing the work. You're in a good place. You're so disciplined and train so hard. Your team is about to play the championship game! You've made it on to the World Cup team! That's fantastic, but it doesn't mean you can never have a relationship again..."

"After...what happened...with Mike...I just...I can't."

"Obviously I don't want you to get into anything like that ever again. Why don't you tell me about this woman?. Does she remind you of Mike? How does she treat you?"

"She's...amazing. She makes me feel like...she really cares about me. Like she really wants to take care of me. She likes to feed me and, um..." Kara stopped herself from going into further detail. "Let's just say, she puts my needs above hers, even when...well...under extreme circumstances. I haven't known her very long, but...I trust her. But that's part of what's so scary. I don't want to trust anyone else. And I don't want to need anyone else."

"Kara, if you're not ready then you're not ready. But maybe the fact that you're thinking about her so much means that...maybe you are ready."

Kara stayed quiet. What the doctor was saying made sense, which worried her even more.

"Just...please give it some thought. Don't just fall back on this no-alpha rule without even giving it some real consideration."

"I...OK. I'll think about it...After the championship."

"Kara!" She sounded exasperated. "OK, fine. After the game."

"OK, Doc. I promise."

***

The doctor gave Kara a prescription for sleeping meds, but warned her she could feel groggy so she decided not to take it. And so, she found herself eating popcorn and watching TV on the couch after after midnight. She couldn't stop thinking about Lena, or about what her therapist had said. She was pulled out of her thoughts when came through the door.

"Kara, you're up!"

"Alex, hey." Kara noticed Alex was trying not to smile. "So...were you out with Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't this like, the third night you've gone out this week?"

"Yeah."

"So, spill!"

"Nothing to spill. I just...really like her."

"She sounds really great."

"Yeah."

"Oh my god, Alex - your face!" Kara said. "I haven't seen you like this in...a long time."

Alex flopped down on the couch next to Kara. "Yeah, well...I haven't felt this way in a long time."

"I'm really happy for you, Alex! I'd love to meet her. Any chance she'll come to Gotham for the big game? She is a L-Corp big-wig after all."

"I asked her. She has some big shindig she can't get out of." Alex sighed. "She promised she'd be there to party with us after the win."

"I like her already. Especially for putting that smile on your face." Kara wrapped her arms around Alex's shoulders and leaned her forehead against the side of Alex's head.

"What about you, Kara? Why are you up? Three nights ahead of the big game." Alex asked. "You should be getting your rest."

"I can't sleep. Just a lot going on in my head."

"Does this have anything to do with 'the lost weekend'?"

Kara stayed quiet, she really didn't want to get into it again, especially knowing how Alex felt about the risks of her being with Lena. What she really needed was to sleep, not to talk more about the source of her insomnia.

"It might help you sleep if you talk about it. Did you discuss it with Dr. Pierce today?"

"I...yeah."

"And?"

"She thinks that I should be open to 'exploring' my feelings for Lena. That I'm hurting myself by fighting them so hard."

"And what do you think?"

"Are you sure you didn't go into psychiatry rather than sports medicine?"

"Ha, that is a classic dodge if I've ever heard one! I may not have studied pysch, but I'm not letting you answer my question with a question."

"Well, I know you think it's a terrible idea. And I thought it was too. but the truth is...I'm so tired. Tired of fighting how I feel. Alex, I just. No one has ever treated me like she does. No one has ever made me feel like she does..."

Alex stayed quiet so Kara kept talking. "And I know it's terrible timing, with the championship and then the Cup coming up. I know I need to focus. But the thing is, I'm not seeing her now. And I can't focus. I can't sleep. I can't help it, Alex. I just...want to see her again."

Alex took a deep breath. "Kara..."

"Alex, please, I know...you don't have to say..."

"Kara, give me a chance." Alex broke in. "Listen, when I first found out you had been with Lena - on a plane! And that she had just become the biggest National City Spirit sponsor ever, well, yes, I was rightfully worried. I am your big sister, dammit! But since you spent the weekend with her I've seen how much you care about her. And...I have to admit, I've been asking Sam about her. She says that Lena is a trustworthy, caring person. And I trust her judgement. And I trust yours."

"Really?" Kara said, surprised.

"Yes, really. And I'm sorry for being so against it. It is a tricky situation with the L-Corp sponsorship, but it is also true that they are in a long term contract. And it's been pretty amazing the difference she's made to the team already. It's clear that she cares about the team, not about trying to get leverage over you."

Kara sat a bit stunned. "But what about...the championship...and the World Cup?"

"Kara, you're more than just a soccer player. You deserve to be happy, to be able to explore a relationship just like anyone else. You're human, Kara. Please let yourself be."

"But the finals match...it's just days away...it's too much..."

"How about...you get through the finals and then...just talk to her? Tell her how you feel. Just get through the big game, then you'll have plenty of time to explore things, long before the Cup playoffs get underway."

Kara stayed quiet for several moments. She felt so relieved at the thought that she might be able to see Lena again. To be near her again.

"Yeah. OK."

"Yeah?" Alex asked with a grin.

"Yeah." Kara said, grinning back and feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.

"OK then. Let's get you to bed."

***The next day at practice felt almost light headed with excitement, yet she was able to focus in a way she hadn't during the past 2 weeks. She found herself goofing off and laughing with her teammates in a way she hadn't been. Even though she hadn't been in touch with Lena, she felt a heaviness lift from her chest.

At the end of practice Coach Lance huddled up with them for a pep talk and to discuss travel details for the next day when they would travel to Gotham.

"Great news, team! L-Corp is loaning us the company jet for our flight to Gotham City! I'm sure you can imagine, it's quite luxurious. There'll be lots of food and space to move around and rest for the long flight. And we won't need to get to the airport 2 hours ahead of the flight for long security lines. It's a thank you from L-Corp for the great season. Ms. Luthor's assistant will text you with the information about when to be there and where to go."

The team erupted in excitement. Kara watched the rest of them as she felt a thrill race through her, but also felt a stab of anxiousness at the thought that Lena might be on the flight. Part of her hoped Lena wouldn't be there, but another part longed to see her.

Eventually the coach broke up the buzz to give them more instructions before finally sending them on their way.

"So suit up, champions! We're going to Gotham in style!"

The team whooped and ran off to the locker rooms. When Kara got to her locker she pulled out her phone to text Alex asking her to check with Sam about whether Lena would travel with the team the next day. She needed to prepare herself mentally if she was going to be on that plane.

That night when Alex got home she assured Kara that Lena wouldn't be on the plane. She actually had business meetings in Gotham the next day and was flying out early.

"That's a relief." Kara said, feeling more at ease.

"You know she'll be at the game though, right?"

"Of course! I'm just not ready to say anything, and really don't want to spend long awkward hours on a plane together. I need to focus and prepare myself mentally for the game."

"Well, there's nothing to worry about. Why don't you try to get to sleep?"

Despite butterflies in her stomach about the finals, Kara found now that she had a plan to talk to Lena it was much easier to relax and fall asleep. She felt like her body was telling her she was doing the right thing.

The next morning the team had a last practice before going home to get ready for their trip. As usual before games, Alex and Kara were picked up by Travis. They talked excitedly on the drive to the airport. Alex reached over and squeezed Kara's hand.

"I'm so proud of you, sis." She beamed at Kara.

"I wouldn't be here without you, Alex." Kara said, squeezing back. "I hope you know that."

"True." Alex said with a teasing grin. Kara shoved her in the side, then raised her fist to Alex for a bump.

"Stronger together." Both sisters said as they bumped fists.

Once they made it to the airport and through the brief security, the team filed on to the plane, exclaiming at the luxuries. Kara settled into a seat next to Alex. Usually when they traveled she would sit with Lucy or other teammates, but she wanted to stay focused and wanted the calm that came with Alex's presence.

Alex let Kara have he window seat. Kara looked out over the run way while Alex began checking her texts. Kara heard Alex's phone pinging several times as they made their way through security and got settled on the plane.

As she gazed out the window Kara noticed a long black car pulling up near the plane and watched as a lanky woman climbed out of one side of the car. She had a feeling she'd seen her before.

Just then she felt Alex grip her hand hard.

"Kara...I just got a text from Sam...she got out of her commitment tomorrow...she's coming to Gotham for the game!" Alex said excitedly.

Kara watched as the driver opened the other side of the car. It felt like everything was in slow motion as she watched Lena climb gracefully from the car. Kara's breath froze in her throat. Lena looked absolutely stunning in a dark suit as she walked towards the plane.

"...Oh...and...Lena's coming with her, on this plane...now..." Alex finished reading her text and looked at Kara anxiously.

Kara couldn't take her eyes away from the sight. "I can see that." Kara whispered in shock.

"Alex, how long is this flight?"

"Almost six hours..."

"Oh. Fuck..."