CHAPTER 85: HOW IT ENDED. KINDA.

"You're here early."

Dammit. Did I sound nervous?

Thank God it's dark.

I put my bag on the kitchen counter before approaching him. By passing him, to be exact, to get to my closet to look for a change of clothes. Before I could do that, though, Allen grabs my arm and traps me in his embrace.

"That was a good painting." I hear his voice from above me and I unconsciously tense my body.

"Allen?" I call out to him, trying to break free, which, somehow, he allows. I step back but don't dare to look at him. "Thanks," I tell him nervously. Silence falls and I clench my fists, trying to gather my courage.

"We should end this," I tell him. "No. I want to end this," I finally say as I look up. I still can't see his face. The room is pitch black. Just the moonlight peeking through the curtain is not enough for me to gauge his expression.

Allen is silent for a while before he scoffs.

And that scoff is giving me the chills. I unconsciously take a step back. Which probably irritates him. Allen grabs my arm and throws me onto the bed before hovering above me. Now I can finally see his face and my blood runs cold.

What comes after is probably something I should have expected. I don't know how much or how long I struggled for. Pleading surely only makes him even more irritated. Or even excited, I don't know anymore. I just know that my forehead hits something and then I just feel dizzy and feel like my bones have gone soft.

Crying also does nothing. He likes hearing me cry. Or so he had said on one occasion.

Allen kisses and bites and touches me everywhere, sending electricity to my very core. I feel hot and bothered and thirsty and I feel pain all over my body. Everything is aching painfully.

This is probably pathetic, but I'm so gonna miss having sex with him. Well, I'm gonna miss everything about him, if we're being honest here.

I can feel his agitation but I revel in it. It's the last time anyway so even though I'm pretty scared, I just give him everything and let him do what he wants. Halfway through I think I passed out once, though. Kinda. I can still feel what he's doing and I can somehow hear him saying stuff, but I can't quite hear it so I said nothing and probably just cried.

*

I don't know how long we had sex but by the time I regain some kind of clarity, it is still dark outside. I try to move my body but only end up gasping and aching even more. I can barely move anything. Thank God my phone is close by.

I tremble, reaching for my phone while also trying my best to move my body so it doesn't lay there on the bed awkwardly and painfully. But I think something's wrong with my left leg and right arm. Everytime I move them, I can feel a sharp pain. And not only there, but also my chest hurts and my head is throbbing. That one is probably because I hit it on something before.

I reach out to my forehead and sure enough, there's blood.

"Hello?" I hear Malik's raspy voice from the phone and I can't help but to let the tears finally fall. I'm so scared and everything is so painful.

"Help…" I manage to choke up. "Dorm…" I gasp out the last one before my consciousness once again fails me.

The next time I somehow wake up, I'm still lying in bed, but not in my dorm. The white walls and the smell of disinfectant tells me that it's a hospital. I grow even more restless. I turn my head and find Keaton is sitting not too far away from me and I try calling him.

"Keaton…" My voice is cracking and I'm probably crying again.

Keaton. Upon hearing my voice, jumps up and hurries over. I weakly raise my hand which he captures. "Lee, are you awake? Are you hurt anywhere? Do you want some water?" Keaton asks frantically. I try shaking my head but it just makes me feel even more dizzy.

"Not… here… Don't want…" I manage to say through the gasps and tears. "Don't… tell…" I beg him.

He goes silent before slowly getting on the bed to hold me gently. "Okay. Okay. I'll handle it. Just sleep. You need sleep," Keaton says as he holds me and gently soothes my nerves, coaxing me with his soft voice.

Sleep sure is the best medicine. Well… not really…. I wake up still feeling all wrong. Where the hell am I?

I look around the spacious room decorated very tastefully. The neutral color is calming and not sickening like a hospital. The bed is very big and very soft. So are the sheets and pillows and cover.

"Lee…" I hear Keaton's voice and I turn around, seeing Keaton has just entered, carrying a tray with what looks like a small bowl and a towel on it. I try to get up but everything hurts and I grimace. In a hurry Keaton flashes to my side, helping me get up slowly, putting some pillows behind me and tucking the corner of the blanket to securely cover me.

"How are you feeling?" Keaton asks softly, eyes searching my face. I turn my head away, avoiding him. I really don't want to be seen. By anyone, really. I must have looked ridiculous when they got to my dorm. I wasn't even wearing anything that time for sure. What a disgrace.

"I…." don't know what to say. "Thank you…" I manage after a while.

I can hear Keaton walk closer before I feel the bed shifting as his weight drops beside me. So close. I unconsciously stiffened. "Still hurt?" I hear his voice from beside me.

"I can manage…" I try to sound convincing, but my voice is too weak. But I really feel so, though. It doesn't hurt as bad as it probably looks.

But I also feel like crap. I don't even know how long I've slept or even what day it is. All I know is that it's morning now. And the sunlight is so blinding I can't help but to squint my eyes.

"Are you feeling pain? Should I give you some painkillers?" Keaton asks worriedly, probably mistaking my squinting as being in pain.

"No. No, I'm not in pain," I shake my head slowly, "can you pull down the blind though? It's kinda too bright," I ask him apologetically. Keaton nods and walks to the window, pulling down all the curtains and sending the whole room into a somber darkness. Keaton turns on the side lamps and sits back down on the bed with me.

"What do you need?" Keaton asks, staring at me. He tries not to show it but I can see worry written clearly in his eyes and the way his hands hesitate to touch me.

I smile and reach out my hand, stopping midair when I notice I'm being put on a drip. I stare at it like an idiot for a while.

"You… Um… It's just some vitamins and stuff," Keaton tries to explain. Well, I don't really care.

"Thank you," I tell him sincerely, "I'm sorry to have troubled you."

"No trouble," Keaton says behind gritted teeth and I wince at that. He's probably mad, isn't he?

"I was…." Keaton tries to compose himself. Clenching and unclenching his fists he says, "when Malik got you call, I was with him. We were about to get some late night snacks, and we were…" he tries to explain, but in the end, he just shakes his head helplessly.

"We brought you to the hospital immediately. You were badly injured. Everywhere." Keaton says.

I figured.

"Why…." Keaton tries to ask me, probably wondering why I let Allen do such a thing to me. I'm about to answer when the door to the room opens and Malik walks in with a tray.

"Figured you'd be awake," Malik greets us, nodding to Keaton and sets down the tray on the bedside table before sitting down on my other side. I can't see his face, but by the way he talks, he's angry for sure. And he's not trying to hide it like Keaton does.

I probably have a lot of explaining and placating and coaxing to do.