CHAPTER 56: GRANDPA

"Not sleeping?" Grandpa's voice startles me until I almost scream. It's dark and everyone else is already asleep. I sit alone in the living room with a glass of cold chocolate milk, staring out the window like I'm in some kind of a movie.

Dramatic, right?

"Grandpa," I turn around and smile at him though I know he can't see it because I didn't turn on any lights. "Did I wake you?" I get up to greet him halfway but grandpa taps my head lightly.

"Just sit," he says so I sit back down and scoot over to make room for him.

"Do you want some?" I ask after a few moments of silence which starts to bother me a little. We both just sit there on the couch, me staring at my hands, and grandpa probably too.

"No," grandpa's voice is gentle and soft and I miss it. He sounds a little tired, too, which makes me feel slightly bad.

"Why are you up?" I try to converse so that it won't get awkward.

He probably does have something to say to me, judging by how he has been staring at me every now and then since I came home. I want to talk to him too. I want to apologize more, especially.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Grandpa asks back.

It feels weird to talk in the dark like this, but also, I feel good because then grandpa can't see my expressions, whatever they are. I don't want him, or anyone else for that matter, to see me too thoroughly or else I'm gonna break down.

"I can't sleep," I tell him truthfully.

"Don't forget the flowers from the garden when you visit your parents tomorrow. I've put it on the table outside," grandpa tells me and I humm.

"Thank you," I saw the flowers earlier tonight and they're beautiful. Sunflowers are my mother's favorite.

"What are your plans?" Grandpa asks slowly after another silence was about to fall on us once again. I smile at that. I was about to bring that up, too, and I'm glad that grandpa did it first so I don't have to stand awkwardly facing my grandparents and talk seriously. I'm bad at that.

"Graduate next year…" I tell him slowly, drawing my breath to calm and compose myself.

I haven't really told anyone about my plans yet. Not even Marsha and Chuck. But i did think a lot about it, especially after I won the last photography competition.

Not to brag, but I've had many letters of recommendation from judges and professor for my works so when I graduate, I can practically go anywhere I like in terms of work, and I have been sending my resumes and portfolio early for the internship for the fourth year uni and a lot of them have written back with positive responses.

I know what I want to do in life. I'm sure of that. I want to travel and take pictures of everything. People, scenery, animals, nature. Everything. I've told Marsha and Chuck all these, of course, but not the axact plan. Not about me traveling and the likes. Truthfully, I don't know how they'll react.

"You've decided?" Grandpa asks and I nod before humming. I forgot he can't see me, hehehe.

"I did… I'm accepting an early internship in France next February. The school has the program to let students have an early internship if they want it. I just need to submit some papers and attend virtual class and exams required for my credits." I start telling him.

"How long?" Grandpa asks.

"The internship is for nine months. So until September next year and then I'll attend the rest of the class remaining at uni until I graduate in March in two years," I tell him.

"That's the plan." Grandpa affirms.

"That's the plan," I nod. Grandpa hums and leans back against the couch, probably thinking.

"Go to sleep," grandpa suddenly stands up, startling me.

"Ah, yes…" I say to him and wave as he walks away, waving back. I can't help but chuckle. He really is my mother's father. Both are very stingy with their words.

I lean back down on the couch, silently sipping my ice chocolate which surely will give me stomach ache in the morning.

(don't drink cold drinks before bed, people)

I have a lot to think about.

How to tell Marsha and Chuck about my plans of going abroad;

How to tell Marsha and Chuck about me and Allen or whether I should tell them at all;

What to do with the situation of me and Allen;

Well, it turns out it's only three… But still… Those three are enough to drain me. Especially things regarding Allen.

Ever since I left, Allen has been texting me nonstop. Well, partly, maybe, because I don't text back, that's why he keeps sending them. He also called me a few times today, but I ignored it. Partly because I was out with Chuck most of the time and still don't want him to know about me and Allen. But also because I don't want to talk to him.

Well, not that I don't. That's a wrong way to put it. I don't think I'm able to talk to him without being emotional. I know what I want and I'm debating on whether I'm going to do that or not. Hearing his voice will just mess up my head more.

I know what I want.

I drink the rest of my chocolate before going back to my room. I walk into my dark room and stop in front of the bed. It's not even a big bed and Chuck is basically occupying the entirety of it. He doesn't have a bad sleeping habit, mind you, it's just because he's big and so he gets hot easily and my room only has one desk fan.

I chuckle to myself and stare at him. He's really a good friend. Maybe too good. Both him and Marsha. Kenneth can be an ass, but he's also very good. To me, at least.

I can't help but to brush his head. His hair is growing longer now and he doesn't look too much like a rascal anymore. But either way, he always looks cute to me and not even the slightest bit intimidating. He probably has the softest heart amongst us three.

"Whyreuup," Chuck stirs and catches my hand, bringing it to his face.

"Sorry," I chuckle and he scoots over, giving me space by the wall and I crawl there before Chuck engulfs me in his arms, snuggling closer. "Aren't you hot?" I chuckle, nudging his stomach with my elbow.

"Hell yes I am," he answers and that just makes me roll my eyes.

"Sleep, love," Chuck says brealiry.

He really does love me. I marvel in the feeling and I can't help but to feel grateful. To both him and Marsha.

I turn around, startling him, and even more so when I hug him and bury my face in his chest.

"Good night," is all I say, preventing him from asking any questions I don't want to answer.

"'Night," Chuck sighs, tightening his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. And we sleep like that until the next day.

The day I will visit my parents for the first time since I buried them.