CHAPTER 47: WITH ALLEN

I feel miserable days after the trip. I have been avoiding Allen like a plague. Allen, on the other hand, has been trying his hardest to talk to me. He calls me numerous times. Stops by my room. Even asking around for my whereabouts.

I haven't accepted any major jobs. I even turned down the job of being a mentor for the summer camp. I can't handle something that major. Not right now.

I'm a mess. I barely sleep, barely eat. Pathetic, I know. But it's not like I'm doing it on purpose! I run around in the day, taking pictures or helping people doing anything, I forgot to eat. And when I finally remember, I'm too tired to bother buying anything and so I just go to sleep. But when I'm finally on my bed, closing my eyes, my mind will start waking up, thinking. About anything, and everything. Well, mostly about Allen, but, so not the point. Well, actually, he's the whole point of it all. I know. Pathetic.

I jolt, snapping my eyes open when my phone starts to ring far too loud to my liking. That gave me a scare. I forgot to turn the damn thing off. I grab it from the table and stare at the screen.

It's Allen.

I answer it and slowly place it on my ear.

"Levi," Allen says, softly, and my mind goes blank.

How much I've missed hearing his voice? You have no idea.

"I want to see you," I blurt out without thinking, unable to stop myself.

"Open the door," he says. I gasp and turn towards my door so fast I think I break my neck a little.

He's outside?

I hurry to my door and there he stands, smiling at me. I back down, biting my lip as I let him in. He locks the door before turning to face me.

He moves slowly. Closer to me. Carefully. He seems to be hesitating. I am not trying to run away, though a part of me is screaming at me too, because that'd be the right thing to do. But instead, I hold out my hand to him. He takes it immediately and pulls me into a hug that is so tight I can hardly breath.

"Can't… Breathe…" I tap Allen's back and he immediately lets me go, smiling apologetically. I smile back, releasing myself from his arms and walk to the kitchen. "Beer?" I ask. He nods and takes off his shoes before flopping down on the couch and turns on the TV.

"Wanna watch something?" I ask, handing him a bottle of beer.

"What do you have?" he asks and I walk and kneel in front of the TV and rummage through my DVD collections.

"I have The Conjuring…"

"Pass…"

"Annabelle…"

"Pass…"

"Insidious 3…"

"Pass!" he says that so fast I turn to him immediately with raised eyebrow, "Don't you have anything other than horror?" he groans.

"What? The star, the captain of the basketball team is afraid of horror movies?" I chuckle, teasing him.

"Shut up," he throws a pillow at my head and I giggle, seeing him blushing slightly. I turn back to my collections.

"Something's not horror…" I mumble to myself. It's kinda hard to find amongst my collections because I'm a sucker for horror movies. "I got Maze Runner…"

"Watched it…"

"Furious series?"

"Watched it."

"Romeo and Juliet 2013 version?"

"Too sappy," I scoff at that.

"Only Lovers Left Alive?"

"Okay," he finally nods after thinking for a while. I chuckle, putting the DVD in the player before settling myself beside him on the couch. After I settle down, Allen immediately circles his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him and I lean my head on his shoulder comfortably.

We silently watch the movie, engrossed. His arm around my waist. The other is on my own. This feels so nice. For once, we're not having sex and it feels just like how we used to be before the sex. Well, minus us embracing each other like this.

But aside from that, me and Allen, just sitting here, watching a movie…. I didn't think we're, I'm, able to do that. It's very nice. Haven't I said so before?

We are still sitting on my couch comfortably even though the movie ended some 20 minutes ago. But neither me nor Allen seem to want to move or let go of each other. That is, until I yawn, and then he chuckles.

"Let's sleep," he looks down on me, smiling. My face flushed immediately, of course. I nod and he releases me, getting up. He takes my hand and guides me to the bed. I hesitate for a second by the bed.

"I'm not going to do anything…" Allen says softly, my face gets even hotter, "unless… you want me to…" he asks, slowly.

"Allen," I warn him. Not that I don't want to, of course. But we really shouldn't. We've made far too many mistakes to be able to call it a mistake anymore.

Allen smiles (a weird one again) and nudges me to the bed. I sigh and climb to the side and Allen climbs right beside me, pulling the cover over us.

"Why are you sleeping like that?" he asks. I am currently facing the wall, my back is facing him, and I am almost literally sticking to the wall when he pokes my head, "get over here. I told you I won't do anything… Unless…"

"Allen…" I groan, immediately turning around and smacking his head.

"That's better," he smiles, putting his arms around me and pulls me close to him. He puts my head on his shoulder and I sigh happily as the result. I throw my own arms around him and hug him in return.

I yawn again, "Nite," I tell him and close my eyes.

"Good night, Levi," he kisses the top of my head.

It feels so nice.

*

I wake up the next day, opening my eyes to Allen's brightly smiling face. My heart immediately leaps out of my chest, beating like crazy (like, seriously, is my heart going to be okay?). He's currently very much wide awake, lying on his side, his head propped up by his hand, all the while staring at me. His smile widens as he leans close and kisses my lips.

"I just woke up," I frown at him though I know a blush might have tinted my cheeks.

"Good morning to you too," he says, rolling his eyes. I chuckle and get up looking at the clock.

"Breakfast?" I ask him as I walk to the kitchen and start rummaging.

"Sure," he says. He stands behind me and peers over my shoulder, "what are we having?" he asks, casually wrapping his arms around me. This is the part where my heart beat like crazy as per usual. I'm constantly telling it to calm down or else it will really give out one of these days.

"Ummm… Toast, bacon and eggs?" I ask hesitatingly and I try so very hard not to shiver at the slightest touch from him.

"Sounds good. Want me to help?" he asks again, immediately releasing himself from me when I hesitatingly nod (though I must admit I regret it).

"Well, since you have gone through Marsha's trial, I guess this one's pretty easy for you," I chuckle.

"Yeah… She's pretty scary when she's in charge…" Allen laughs, remembering the first time he cooks a meal under Marsha's supervision, "and she's always in charge, isn't she?"

"She is," I chuckle, "Thank God for that. If she isn't, Chuck and I would have derailed long ago," I laugh because it's so true. I am genuinely, honestly thankful to have Marsha guiding us all these times through, well, everything.

"Hmmm…" Allen nods thoughtfully.

After we finished cooking we sit side by side in front of the TV, enjoying our breakfast. Allen can't seem to be able to keep his hands to himself off of me. He'd caress, stroke, hold every inch of my body, making me shudder,, pleasantly, of course.

"Allen…" I groan when he, once again, leans in to kiss my neck, "if you don't stop, we'll never finish breakfast," I scold him, smacking him lightly on the head.

"You taste better," Allen ignores my scolding and goes on to lick my neck. I shudder and let out a moan before getting myself together and smacking his head again.

"Allen!" I push him away, glaring and pouting, "I'm hungry!" I whine. Allen chuckles and ruffles my already messy hair.

"I'm sorry," he says and scoots a little away from me. I sigh in relief, still pouting before continuing with my breakfast.

After breakfast, I go on to do the dishes while Allen helps throw out the garbage. This feels so… good… I sigh as I clean the plates. This is so surreal it's scary. We shouldn't be acting like this. We're not a couple. He's already with someone, dammit! But this feels so good. I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay. At least for a little while longer.

I glance at Allen, who's drying the plates. I sigh mentally. What am I doing? Am I some kind of a mistress now? God. I am an awful human being.

"I'm gonna take a bath," Allen says after placing the last plate in the cupboard. He walks to his bag, takes out a towel and walks to the bathroom. He stops halfway, turns around and stares at me with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. He holds out his hand to me. I freeze. Staring at that hand with confusion and a little anticipation. "Coming?" he asks very softly, very gently.

There isn't even the slightest hesitation when I take his hand and follow him to the bathroom to take the longest shower in the history of humanity.

Probably.