CHAPTER 18: I laugh crying

I got up feeling like crap. Especially since I can remember everything that happened just a few hours ago. Urgh... I can't believe I did that! And to a good friend! I must have been so drunk... That's what I keep telling myself as an excuse. To make myself feel better. But... How am I going to face him now? I ask myself as I lock my door. I glance over at Allen's room. To my surprise, Joy is doing the exact thing as I do. Locking the door from the outside. I clear my throat and call out to her.

"Joy!" I wave at her and she approaches me, smiling in surprise. "Morning," I greet her, trying to smile as genuinely as possible. I feel like the worst human being, so, that's not helping the smile.

"Morning," She returns my smile. Hers is more genuine (duh!).

"Where's Allen?" I ask as casually, trying not to sound too curious.

"Still sleeping," She smiles again. "Were you two drinking last night?" she asks. I stop cold.

"Yeah... Sorry." I apologize. For many things.

"He wore me out last night," She giggles, "He's always so horny when he drinks," She shakes her head.

Now I'm feeling waaayyyy worse than I already am. The sharp pain came and went again. It stays longer this time as I smile at her.

"Where are you heading?" I ask her, brushing the pain away. Forgetting the fact that I have just betrayed this lovely girl's friendship, or, trying to.

"Tutor class," She answers.

"F building?" I ask again. She nods and we head there, chatting. Mostly about her job at the advertising company. I try not to bring Allen up in this conversation. I'm afraid if I do, I'll just blurt everything out. I don't want to. I'm scared to. I'm a jerk and a coward.

"Oh. By the way. Quin's having a party at her house tonight. Wanna come?" she asks me.

Quin lives in a big mansion not far from campus. Her parents are out of the country a lot, so she throws a lot of parties at her house. Her parties are always the best. Not only there are tons of alcohol, but also because her peers are the most interesting peers that manage to turn a college party into something more interesting. Quin's parties are always the best. Usually ended up with people calling the cops on us, or someone starts something (a fight, a championship of any sorts, a Guinness world breaking of anything) that always has people talking until the next awesome party.

"Ummm..." I usually, well, always come, but...

"C'mon. It'll be fun," She says. "I can't come to your friend's party, so I want to party with you tonight. Besides, I have people I want to introduce you to."

"Really?" I ask, curious.

"Girls, actually," She giggles.

"Hahaha, really?" I ask again. Not sure what to feel about that. Embarrassed, of course, but other than that? I don't know. Not that I don't like girls... I mean...

"Yeah. I told my high school friends about you and they said they wanted to meet you," She tells me. Now I'm getting really embarrassed. And quite flattered, actually. And a little bit relieved.

"Did you oversell me?" I squint my eyes at her.

"No, idiot," She hits my arm playfully. "In fact, I don't exactly have to say anything after I showed them your picture that Allen took when you were in Kintara," She tells me.

Huh? When did Allen take my picture?

"So? You're coming, right?" she asks again.

"I gotta tell Chuck first," I tell her and she giggles.

"Invite him too," She says. "Wouldn't wanna get slammed by him for kidnapping you," she mocks me jokingly.

"Shut up," I stuck my tongue at her.

"See you tonight, then," She waves when she enters the classroom. I wave back and turn around, heading for drama rehearsal, trying not to think, or feel anything.

*

It's currently 11 p.m. and I'm on my third glass of punch, spiked, of course (so high school). I'm at Quin's party. Me and Chuck got here a little while ago and after we greeted Joy and Allen (who acts normal, Thank God) and a bunch of other people (that we do know and those we don't), Joy immediately shoved me to a group of her friends, female friends. She starts parading me around, making me get acquainted with a bunch more of other girls. Now, I'm currently talking to this cute petite girl with braided brown hair. She seems shy. She's pretty cool though. She majors in visual arts so we have plenty to chat about.

"Yo, Lee," Chuck calls me as he makes his appearance, approaching me with two paper cups in his hands. He hands one to me. I set down my own empty cup and take the one from him gratefully. Chuck then sits on the kitchen counter beside me who leans on the counter. He nods towards the girl, "Who's this pretty lady?" he asks me while the girl is eyeing Chuck with a frown and a slightly uncomfortable gaze.

"Kirstie, this is Chuck. Chuck, this pretty lady here is Kirstie," I introduce the two of them to each other. I can feel Chuck's chuckling beside me before he shifts his body, pulling me so now I'm standing between his legs, his chin on my shoulder as he continues to grin and snigger like a lunatic. The poor girl's face starts to become redder and redder.

"Which school do you go to?" he asks again, probably intending to scare her off.

"Langton Collage of Fine Arts," She answers, a little hesitantly.

"Major?" Chuck continues.

"Visual Art," She answers again, faster this time.

"Organization?" Chuck keeps asking, sniggering after each of her answers. I'm starting to feel annoyed.

"Art Club," She almost spat the answer, glaring at Chuck.

Chuck is about to ask another question so I smack his head.

"Why the hell are you interrogating her?" I snap at him. Kirstie bit her lower lip, fidgeting on her spot.

"I wasn't!" Chuck throws his hands up in defense. "I just want to know more about her because she looks so cute and I like cute," He grins and now Kirstie's face is an obvious crimson. I roll my eyes at chuck and smack him again.

"Stop it," Chuck is still sniggering at her, though, despite my overpowered smack (no, I'd never hit him that hard).

"Fine. I'll stop. But, do you want me to, Kirstie? I mean, can I not know things about you, Kirstie?" he asks her, spitting her name like venom. I blink in confusion. Kirstie, however, face red with anger, turns on her heels.

"Fuck you," She hisses before storming out of the kitchen.

"What is wrong with you?" I smack Chuck's head again, turning around to smack his stupid forehead as hard as I can. Chuck takes the chance to wrap his arms around my waist when I did.

"I don't like her," Chuck states calmly. "I don't like the way she's looking at you."

"Yeah? And how was she looking at me?" I snort.

"Like she wants to eat you whole," He scoffs. "She's practically eye-fucking you," He shrugs and I went to smack him again but he dodges it. "She may look all classy and cute and innocent. But I knew better," Chuck adds. I roll my eyes at him.

He's very obnoxious. Very rude.

"Just because you've been with more girls than I do, doesn't make you have the right to do that to anyone. That was so uncalled for," I state, sighing heavily.

"Yes, I do," He says calmly.

"Chuck..." I say exasperatedly.

"'Sup you two?" Carter and Jay approach us, "having a love quarrel?" Carter teases, "again?" he asks. I roll my eyes at him, crossing my hands in front of my chest.

"Chuck's being a dick to a chick," I tell him. Dick to a chick… Heh heh nice one, me.

"What chick?" Jay asks.

"Remember Kirstie from last fall?" Chuck asks Carter and Jay who nod. Huh?

"The one from Langton?" Carter asks, making sure. Chuck nods. "Shit, man. She's here?" Carter's eyes widen and he looks around, just like Jay does.

"Yep," Chuck nods. "She's trying to get with this idiot here," Chuck bumps his forehead on mine.

"Wait, wait," I lean away from him and frown, "So, you actually knew her?" I ask, confused and a little pissed.

"Dated her for a few days," Chuck grins and I smack his head.

"She's crazy, dude," Carter says, I turn my head and frown questioningly at him. "Got all clingy and possessive and outright insane," He says and fake-shudders.

"Yeah, right," I wave my hand at him and turn back to Chuck, "why didn't I know about this?" I ask Chuck, well, demanding is more like it.

"I've told you, actually," Chuck says, smiling, one eyebrow up. "But you just seem to not love me enough to care," He teases, pouting.

"That's not true..." I say automatically, frowning.

"What? So you love me?" Chuck asks, teasing.

"Of course I do!" I smack his head, again, harder this time. "You're my best friend, and I'm sorry about Kirstie... I wish I'd known..." I apologize to him.

"Well, don't worry about Kirstie. So irrelevant," Chuck says, kissing my forehead. "And I'm not your best friend, I'm your husband," He grins while I roll my eyes.

"My God you two are so adorable," Joy giggles and I immediately turn to her. I had forgotten that she's also at this party with us. And Allen too.

I turn slowly to face Allen. He's smiling at me, though his smile doesn't seem to reach his eyes as he pulls Joy closer to him. I wince at the already familiar pinch. I turn back to Chuck, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Mind getting me more of this?" I ask, looking up at him. He smiles and pecks my cheek before getting down from the counter and heading outside to the beverage area, followed by Carter and Jay.

"I'm gonna use the ladies'," Joy says to Allen.

"Ok," He smiles and pecks her lips before she leaves.

What? No pinch? Oh, wait. Yup. There it is. I bite my lower lip so as to not wince.

Awkward silence fell upon us without remorse. We haven't been alone, just the two of us, since last night. And now that we are, alone (except for hundreds other people walking by drunk, dancing and doing God knows what), I don't know what to say and it's dejecting. Well, I should probably apologize to him, right? I mean, I was the one who kissed him first, right? Though he also did an awesome job in kissing me back... that's beside the point, I know, sorry. God, I'm a mess.

I unconsciously scratch the back of my head as my eyes falter to see him whom, to my surprise (no, really, I almost flinch) is staring at me. Shit. Now I'm scared. He's looking at me so intensely his gaze actually makes me shudder. From fear and excitement. Can you believe that? I've realized now what that pair of beautiful blue eyes are able to do to me. I hate the thought. I shouldn't feel this way. Not to him.

I open my mouth and am about to say something to Allen when someone suddenly jumps on my back and "Oofftss," Is the sound I make instead.

"Your beverage, dear husband," Chuck chuckles as he straightens his back and hands me a paper cup. It seems that he's already quite drunk, well, no surprise there.

"Thanks," I tell him, eyes not wavering from Allen's intense glare.

"I'll go look for Joy," He informs us abruptly before turning on his heels. I gawk, almost calling out to him.

"What's with him?" Chuck's question stops me from doing so. I scratch my head.

"Dunno," I lie straight to his face, gulping down my drink. Now I feel guilty for two things. I feel like shit. And that's an understatement.