It's alright to be alright

Russ searched the now familiar halls as he made his way to the room he was sharing with Jaden. He'd already searched most of the lower levels without luck. As he rounded the uppermost stairs the door to the queen's chamber opened. "Jaden." He called out as he picked up his pace. He was about to blow out a relieved sigh when he realized it wasn't Jaden.

April lowered her head and gaze as she shook her head. "Sorry, it's just me."

Russ bent to peek inside the room. "Is she in there?"

"No, she's not…" Her brows furrowed as she began to pick up on his unease. "She went to find you a few minutes ago… did she not?" April glanced around the hall as she pulled the bedroom door shut. "You couldn't have missed her by much."

Russ frowned as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "Oh, she found me alright… So… she hasn't been back up here?"

April shrugged. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't know. I just finished the last bit of prep work on the dress for tomorrow. She hasn't been back to the room…" April sent a quick glance to the next door down. "But… she could be in there…"

Russ blew out a long sigh. "Alright, I'll check. Thanks." She was just about to curtesy when he sent her a glare and shook his head. He sent her a dismissive way. "Save your polite manners for strangers. It's not needed or wanted here."

"Uh… yeah… ok. Well, um… later then."

He gave a light chuckle as he stepped in front of the door. "Late…" His hand shook slightly as he reached out for the door. With a grunted sigh, he rested his head against the door. "What am I even going to say if she is in here…" He was just about to turn away and head back downstairs when footsteps and a low curse sounded from inside the room. Worried, he immediately pushed open the door, his troubles forgotten temporarily. His eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on ears peeking up from the other side of the bed. He rushed over to see Jaden sitting on the floor. His eyes followed her hands down to one of her feet that she clutched. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Jaden nodded as she released her foot but kept her face averted. "Yes, I'll be fine. You should go back downstairs and continue greeting your guests."

Russ lowered to a squat in front of her. He gently lifted her foot and rested it on his knee as he searched for an injury. He frowned. "You hit your toe on the footboard leg again, didn't you?"

Jaden shrugged. "Yes… It will be fine by tomorrow. I'm sure." She continued adverting her gaze. She refused to let him see her current turmoil, which was only fueled more by the soft, caring tone and gentle touches he was currently using. She pulled her foot away and pushed herself up off the floor, still not facing him. "You really should get back downstairs… It's your duty after all." She moved to step past him, but he suddenly stood and caught her wrist. Her eyes shot to him in shock before looking away just as quickly. She tugged her wrist free of his loose grip.

Russ frowned as he followed behind her. "Jaden… Can we please talk for a second?" When she didn't respond and only continued walking away from him, he added. "I can tell you're upset… Your makeup is streaked."

She gritted her teeth. "Of course, I'm upset. I hit my toe, didn't I? Perhaps a tear or two escaped in the process."

He caught her hand this time and carefully tugged her around to face him. "Or perhaps they escaped when you came into the library earlier?"

She averted her gaze as she pulled away again. "I don't know what you're talking about. It must have been someone else, a servant… maybe…"

Russ could feel his chest tighten. "Jaden… We're wolves…" He cupped her face, bringing her gaze up to meet his. "It's not what you think, I promise."

She stared stoically up at him. "Then you aren't still in love with your ex… your nanny?" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I confuse your relationship with her… with him?" She interrupted him as he was about to reply. "No." She pulled away from him. "It is alright. All I need to know is whether we are still getting married tomorrow or not… After all, this was all an arrangement for conven- ah!"

Russ grabbed her tightly around the waist and slammed his lips painfully down over hers. He held her tightly against him, refusing to loosen his hold until her resistance began to wane. "I've done my best to hold back with you… to be gentle… You must mistake that for indifference…" He searched her eyes as he continued. "And what do you think everything we've done in this room," He pointed to the bed. "In that bed was… Convenience?" He scoffed. "There's nothing convenient about anything that has happened between us. Jaden, there's nothing convenient about keeping my distance, restraining my nature, avoiding… certain actions around you… When all I want to do nearly every time I'm around you is jerk you up and fuck you against the nearest surface." He released his hold on her and forced himself to take several steps back. He ran his hands through his hair as his eyes moved around the room, pausing momentarily on the bed. "Even now… Instead of using words… I simply want to carry you over and fling you onto the mattress… and fuck you until you've forgotten what we were arguing about…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that…"

Her eyes were wide, and her breath came out in pants. "Then why don't you?" She muttered in a low, seductive voice.

His head jerked toward her. It was Russ's turn to be shocked. His mouth dropped, and he was speechless for the longest time. He closed the distance between them in two wide steps and captured her mouth in a hungry kiss. His heart pounded against his chest as her trembling hands slid up his chest and wrapped around his neck. Without thinking he lifted her and began walking slowly toward the bed, not breaking their kisses as he walked. He set her down carefully, following her down as he did. His hand roamed greedily over her body. Her tiny whimper pulled him back to his senses. He forced himself to calm down as he broke their kiss and flopped onto his back beside her.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean…" Jaden sat up, worry and embarrassment coloring her words. Her hand shook as she placed it on his chest. "I…" She couldn't force the words past the nervous knot of her tongue. "I…"

Russ fought to control his pounding heart and heavy breathing. He sent her a playful smile. "It's fine. You didn't do anything wrong… it was me… I shouldn't have… been so… um aggressive." He cupped one hand over her hand and brought the other to her cheek. "You probably have to get ready for your bridal party." He sent her a wink. "After all you're getting married tomorrow." He lifted and placed a kiss to her forehead. "We'll talk when you get back tonight... if you'd like."

Jaden swallowed past the frustrating knot that still caused her to be tongue-tied as she nodded.

He forced a smile. "Alright… good… Just so you know, though… Yeah, I still love Jos in a way… but it's nothing like before…" He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss in her palm. "And that is because of you… because of what we've built together over these past few months… because of the love I now have for you…" He searched her eyes. "I love you, Jaden… You have to know I mean that… And I can't wait to tell the world tomorrow." He leaned up and pressed his lips to hers in a lingering, tender kiss. He smiled up into her wide, stunned eyes. "I'm sorry I caused you so many problems on a day you should be enjoying… Forgive me?"

Jaden nodded, still a bit shook. "Yes…" She bent and placed a light peck on his lips. "I'm sorry too… Had I knocked-"

Russ's brows furrowed. "No! You shouldn't have to knock. You're going to be my wife… the queen of this palace…" He blew out a sigh as he sat up. "Besides… What you walked in on… I was simply trying to convince her to give Arei another chance…" He shrugged. "A wise, incredibly drunk fairy once told me that 'you can't love someone else or accept love from others until you can love yourself… or something like that…" He ran his hand through his hair and down his neck, giving the base a squeeze. "I don't know… It probably came out wrong…"

Jaden quietly watched him. It was obvious, he needed time to work out his own feelings before talking to her about it… but she wanted to hear it now… hear what he really felt while the emotions were still raw… before he had time to discard the ones he knew would upset her… the ones he had for Joslyn Decker… She placed a hand on his thigh. "If you tell me what you said… maybe I can help… somehow…"

Russ blew out a resigned sigh. "No, you should be enjoying yourself and getting ready for a fun night. Not helping your soon-to-be husband sort his feelings for another woman." He sent her a half-hearted smile. "I have scotch for that." He leaned forward and gave her another quick kiss. "Promise me, you'll have fun tonight?"

Jaden nodded. "Yeah… you too."

His smile widened. "Of course. And I'll see you back here tonight?"

She nodded, forcing a smile as well. "Of course…"

He patted her leg. "Good. I'll let you get ready then. I'll see you at dinner, first?"

"Yeah…" She nodded again. She watched as he walked to the door, sending her another smile before heading out into the hall. "Idiot… what did you expect…" She breathed in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "No point staying here and moping… He'll just be back up to drag me down there…" Jaden pushed up from the bed and made her way into the bathroom, making quick work of preparing for the night's events.

***

Jos's eyes moved around the heavily decorated back lawn. She hadn't seen the place so beautifully decorated since Cam and Ales's last anniversary. She made her way out to the steep cliffs that overlooked the backside of the palace grounds. She clasped her arms tightly around herself as she carefully slid her feet even with the sharp edge of the cliff. Her eyes moved from the steep slope downward, up to the nearly full moon. She blew out her breath, a light exasperated moan coming out with it.

"Beautiful up here, isn't it?"

Jos's breath caught. She jerked around to greet the intruder, but the loose rock gave way as she did.

Drake darted forward with superhuman speed. He caught her arm and pulled her against him just in time. He took a few careful steps backward until he was sure the footing would be safe. He released his tight hold and smiled down at Jos. "That was a close one. I didn't mean to surprise you like that."

Jos cleared her throat as she adjusted her clothes. "Did you follow me or was it mere coincidence?"

Drake shrugged. "Both… I wanted to talk with you after what I said in court the other day, but you'd already left before I got a chance."

Jos wrapped her arms tightly around herself again. "And you decided to follow me out here?"

He chuckled. "Not quite. I was already out here." He pointed to a path leading along the edge of the cliff, toward the beach below. He pointed up to the moon. "The light reflecting off your hair caught my attention."

Jos's hand involuntarily moved to her head. "Oh… I see…" She glanced past him to the path she'd just come from. "If you'd like, we could talk on our way back to the party."

"Or we could have a quick word here, then head back together…" He suggested with a grin.

Jos groaned. "I don't think that's a good idea, Drake. We shouldn't be out here together… alone."

Drake shrugged. "Probably not… but we're already here… besides, wouldn't it look just as bad if we walked back together?"

Jos frowned. "You have a point… So, what is it you'd like to say?"

Drake sent her a warm smile as he walked over and lowered to the ground under a sea-withered tree. He patted the ground beside him and waited for her.

Jos gave a resigned sigh as she stomped over and sat down. "Happy?"

His smile widened. "I am. In a way, I never thought I could be." He clasped her hand. "And I have you to thank for that."

Jos furrowed her brows. "I don't understand."

Drake chuckled. "I didn't think you would." He leaned back against the tree, his gaze moving up to the bright moon. "You know my mother was always paranoid about losing her position, her power… She wanted her own child to be the only successor, so she'd still have a seat at the table no matter what. My father wasn't much on 'breeding', but Dante was. My mother found ways to see to it that none of his children would pose a threat… If you get what I'm saying."

Jos nodded, still unsure where he was going with all this.

Drake sent her a weighted glance, his eyes betraying his cool composure. "Mattie has always been like a brother to me. Dante only had contempt for his weak deminer and didn't want anything to do with him, and his mother was insane. She wasn't there much… I basically raised him." A warm smile crested his lips as a single tear slid down his cheek. "I always knew it would be a matter of time before something happened to him… but now thanks to you, I'll never have to worry about that again. I now have the power to protect him… and others like him."

Jos shook her head tears building in her own eyes. "You shouldn't think me for something like that."

He reached out and caught her hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "But I do. I meant every word from the hearing. You deserve that spot, not me… but I'm glad to have it, and I have you to thank for that."

She shook her head more. "You don't, though."

He leaned closer. "I do. It was because of you that I got it. Poseidon was the one who recommended me, and Zeus gave me his vote because he thought I'd hold a grudge against you." His eyes held hers, emotion overflowing from him. "Even if you don't want my thanks, please accept this at least. Know you will always be a friend to the European vampires as long as I'm the head."

Jos nodded as more tears burned her eyes. "Thank you… but I'll always be sorry for how that friendship was acquired."

He smiled as he stood and held his hand out to her. "As long as you accept it, that's all that matters to me. Sure you don't want to head back with me?"

Jos shook her head. "No… I'm not ready to go back yet…"

"Alright… but be safe, alright? Don't get too close to the edge again like earlier. There may not be anyone here to catch you a second time."

The double meaning of his words was not lost on her. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll not move from right here until I'm ready to head back."

He sent her a playful smile. "Alright. If you're not back in an hour, I'll send your man to get you."

She shook her head with a laugh. "I'm sure he'll be out on his own soon enough."

"No doubt, he'd be a fool to let you go for too long." Drake lifted his hand and waved her goodbye as he turned toward the trail. "Later then."