Chapter 50 ~ Gut wrenching

He wasn't sure he wanted her to go, but he knew that choice was not his. These last seven days flew by and he didn't want to say goodbye to his best friend. And yes, he had spent time with his girl, but Kris was also his friend, and even though they had been stupid, Resa understood and accepted their friendship and hadn't been hurt when he asked, just to make sure, if it was okay to spend time with her, much like he was doing now. Resa had gone out shopping with D and knew exactly what time they would be back.

"What are you thinking?" He looked up from his cards and looked at her.

"What makes you think I'm thinking anything?"

"Really Alex? You're gonna ask me that question?" He crinkled his brows, not understanding what he could have done to make her think anything. "You have looked at your hand now for the last three minutes. You should have already told me how many cards you wanted."

"Oh." He glanced at his hand once more and then rested his arms on the table and leaned forward to talk to her.

"I don't want you to go Kris." Kris smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm.

"You may not want me to go, but I have to. It's already bad enough that I have taken up this time with you."

"No, it's not. I already talked to Resa. She knows and understands how close we are." Kris shook her head and stood up.

"You don't know much about women Alex."

"Hey now!"

"You know certain parts, true. But the working of a female is lost on you." Alex visibly shivered and stood up.

"Does anyone now the workings of a female mind? Better yet, would they wanna the workings of that?"

"That's beside the point. You might not know it, hell, might not want to believe it, but Resa has you on a leash. And no one could blame her."

"A leash?"

"Yes. Even she may not realize that but she's only allowing this time because in the future, it's really gonna be limited. And once you two are married, I have a feeling that there won't be anymore us time, that it will always be the three of us."

"Is this part of that female mind thing?" Kris laughed and turned to give him a hug.

"Oh Alex, you really are my best friend and I so adore you." He wrapped his arms around her, really not wanting to let her go. Especially if what she said was true. He was more at ease when it was just them two. He really couldn't imagine asking, not asking, wanting Resa in that mix.

"Please don't go." She shivered as the whisper washed and caressed her neck. She couldn't keep telling him no but she couldn't stay around and hurt Resa anymore.

"Alex, please don't ask me again; not if you really want a relationship with Resa. It's bad enough that you are on tour and really don't get the privacy that you two are gonna need to mend this hardship." He sighed, for he knew she was right. She usually was. But that didn't help the heart ache that he was feeling by her leaving.

"Well, then how about we watch a movie?"

-----

Alex wrapped his arm around her as she shivered and then realized that would not help her, so he grabbed his favorite blanket and laid it over her. She looked up at him and smiled. But then it froze. They stared into each other eyes, Alex's hand softly rubbing her arm.

Was this where the last few days of being together had landed them? Both wanting something and yet both denying it? But, it was wrong! Granted, Alex knew that he just couldn't let her walk away. There would never be a time like the present.

His free hand reached up and moved a strand of her hair out of the way, carefully moving it behind her ear. He searched her eyes, maybe wanting to see in her eyes the choice to say no. Maybe if he saw that, he could stop and turn around from what he was thinking. But he saw nothing in her eyes. In fact, he would almost say the desire mirrored his own. And that couldn't be good.

But he refused to stop or look back. He knew they still had some time and without a backwards glance for both of them, he leaned his head down while she lifted hers and their lips both connected. And boy did that feel so right.

His hand wrapped around the back of her head, a soft moan coming out of him. Her lips were the softest and the sweetest he had ever tasted and he knew, right at that moment, where exactly this was heading and from that part onward, both parties were powerless to stop the train that had set into motion.

He finally broke the kiss to trail his lips over her neck, breathing in the flowery scent that was her alone. He knew deep down, as well, that letting her go was impossible. That everything from Hawaii was leading back up to this. And what that meant for him and Resa, he just didn't want to know, or think about.

He eased her back on the couch, pulling her shirt off, along with his. Making love to her on the couch was not the scene he wanted, but his body, his heart, couldn't wait to feel that connection again. He pulled back to look down at her, silently asking if here was okay, but he only grinned as she fumbled for his pants. With record time, he stripped them both down and slowly eased into her, moaning against her neck at the feeling of being home washed over him.

And what, he knew here he stood, he knew the road in which to take. And he knew the pain he was going to have to cause. But he couldn't live without his soul, and that's what Kris was, that's what she had always been, and would forever always be. He was a damned fool if he thought he could walk away.

But, in truth, he wasn't any better than the woman he was currently holding. She knew that she couldn't let him go. Yes, she never wanted to hurt her friend again, but her best friend had snagged the only guy she really truly loved. And she was always told that you fought for those things that you loved. And if he wanted to go back, she would fight. Or if Resa had something to say, Kris would fight. She wasn't the mousy girl who no longer had a voice.

She ran her nails down his back as he kept sliding into her, her mind and her body claiming him, and neither cared. In fact, both longed for it, both wanted it, both hand been fighting it for far too long.

He moaned as his lips moved over her neck and then back to her lips, wanting to make it last but at least having the heart for Resa not to quite find them like that. That wouldn't only hurt, that would be gut wrenching. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, a smile over taking her face.

"I love you Alex." Those four little words were his undoing. He dropped his head, groaning low in his throat.

"I love you too," and with that, he took both of them over the edge.

-----

"Babe?" Kris lightly poked Alex, who only groaned.

"I like it when you call me that. But I can do without the poking, thank you."

"Sorry." She giggled, curling up to him for a moment. "But we gotta get up." That quickly snapped Alex out of his dreaminess. She was right; he didn't want Resa to walk in on this. He got up, starting to search for his pants.

"I'm sorry Kris; you know that I want to lie in your arms…" She silenced him with a finger over his lips.

"She's my friend too. And I don't want to hurt her either. Now, hurry." He kissed her finger and laughed; struggling to get his pants on, but froze as he heard the door open and heard her giggle, which quickly died. 'No,' his mind screamed at him, but he knew he had to turn and bear the look and anger she would have on her face. But he wasn't quite ready to see her with her mouth closed and just blinking. She glanced between him, Kris, and the clothes on the floor, nodding once and then quickly left, slamming the door behind her.