Saffran's POV

SAFFRAN'S

POV

"I'm

pregnant."

My mind is

going blank. What is she saying? Is she pulling a prank on me? I see Jess'

crying state in front of me. She is sitting on my bed with her knees pressed on

her chest. Mom is out for clubbing. It's only me and her. I'm trying not to

panic. But my body is shaking miserably and it's getting harder to breath.

"Jess.

You're not gonna keep it right?" Fear, pain, hatred is all I can see in her

eyes. Funny how the same look I got from Norman a few days ago. Norm. My Norm.

What'll he think if he learns about it? Will he hate me more than before? Will

out relationship ever be like before? The mere thought of not having him close

anymore in the future kinda scares me. I know it's pathetic of me missing him

after what I've done to him. But I don't care right now.

"You're

saying to abort it?" Jess asks me with shaky voice. Why is she so persistent

about keeping the baby? She is a sl*t herself (Yeah I'm f*cking admitting it

right now) so a baby can hinder her daily life. Is she thinking that a baby can

make me be in a relationship with her? Well if that's what she thinks then she

is utterly wrong. Just cause she is pregnant doesn't mean I'll act like a

husband to her.

"Yes. Abort

it. I can't be a father right now. I'm not ready." I says to her firmly. Jess

snorts. "Just cause you're p*ssy doesn't mean I'll kill my baby for you. So be

a man and take responsibility." I smirk. "Responsibility? What are you? My

wife? You think I'll magically fall in love with you just cause of a zygote?"

An extreme hurtful expression crosses on her face. "I thought you loved me."

She says in a sad tone. I seriously wanna laugh do bad. She expects me to love

her when she cheated on me. F*cking wh*re.

"I never

loved you. And don't expect me to love you in the future as well." How can I

lover her when my heart craves for someone else?

Jess doesn't

say anything. She keeps on crying hard. "How did you even become pregnant? We

always used condom every time. Are you sure it's my baby-" "Yes you jerk face! I

wasn't on birth control pills! How can you say something like that?!" She cries

harder. I'm not fazed by her cries. I'm not feeling anything except

suffocation, burdened and anxious. "Well you're not a saint yourself. You think

I don't know about your f*cking around habits?" She doesn't answer and it's

triggering me.

"Please get

out. Trick some other man into becoming the father of your baby cause I'll not be

the one." Jess looks at me with a glare. Her mascara is melting giving her a

look of a frustrated witch. "I've never met such a selfish monster like you! I

wish you never find love and for the rest of your life you remain lonely!" She

storms out of my room.

What she

just said pricks on my heart. She is saying the bitterest truth which I was strongly

avoiding.

After she

has gone I quickly message Alex. I didn't go to school cause I can't bear

seeing that boy all over Norman. It hurts like hell. I'm still confused about

the feelings for Norman but one thing is sure that I wanna be with him badly. I

wanna connect with him both physically and mentally. And to think that all the

things that 'we' used to do, he is doing it with someone else now....my heart

bleeds.

And I can't

do anything about it.

.......

The next day

when I'm ready to go to school my mom stops me. I basically slept the whole day

and night yesterday so I don't know she was doing. She indicates me to sit on

the sofa and I obliges. I take a good look on her face she looks utterly

terrible. Her flawless skin is wrinkled slightly, huge eye bags and chapped

lips. Her face seems so dull, void of any brightness. Dad didn't contact us

after that day and it's been a week. I know how she feels.

"I don't

know what you've been doing these days and I'm genuinely sorry for not taking

care of you at all but making a girl pregnant?" My soul seems to leave out of

my bdoy. How does she know? "Saffran. Baby. Mistakes happen but you must take

responsibility of your mistake." No please. I don't want that. "You know Jess'

parents and I are business partners. To do this to their daughter and not

taking responsibility will only bring shame to us. Do you want your mom to go

through that?" She is guilt trapping me. "Jess will be an amazing wife to you. She

is beautiful, smart and rich. Also your child is in her. I'm sure her parents

won't allow to abort the child so you have to take responsibility. Do you wanna

be like your father who leaves their child and wife just for some other b*tch?"

No. I'm not like my father. I don't wanna be like him. He is not my role model

anymore. But I can't accept Jess as my life partner. "No mom." Mom smiles. "I

know baby. You're my son. The moment he left the house he lost all the rights

on you. So be a man and call her. She'll be staying with you from now on." Wtf?

When did I agree to that? "What?! I can't stay with her! I don't love her!"

Mom's face gets stoic. "You have to. She is pregnant. During pregnancy girls

need their husband or lover most. Jess' parents personally contacted me to take

care of her. And....you'll fall in love over time. You don't have to worry

about that. If Jess stays around with you you'll stop fooling around." How can

my own mom say that? Doesn't she care for my feelings? I clearly said I don't

love her. Then why is she forcing me? Is the opinion of her so called business

partner that important than my own feelings?

I can't deny

her now. She is providing me everything. If I say no she may cut off my living

expense and kick me out of the house. Dad is not contacting me either. He is

busy with his new lover.

"O-okay."

......

I'm panicking

like my life depends on it. Alex, Bryce, Colby and Ian is here. I quickly

called them after mom has gone to the company as I can't handle this alone.

Actually I only called Alex and Bryce but the other two tagged along. Caleb too

came but he left for school after. Alex is trying to calm me down but my mind

isn't listening. "Listen Saffran. For now just do what she says. Let Jess give

birth first." Alex says but I can't agree to that. I shake my head. "I can't. I

don't lover her." Everyone seems confused other than Bryce and Alex. "You don't

love her?" Ian says for the first time.

"No. I only

felt adoration and lust. Nothing else." I'm not feeling comfortable here with

Colby and Ian. I don't know why they tagged along. They aren't that close with

me. Even though they care for me I'll feel awkward around them. Alex picks up

my discomfort and tells them something but my mind is spiralling with different

thoughts that I don't bother to hear. Soon both boys leave to my relief.

After they

are gone Alex and Bryce's full attention turn to me. "I miss Norman." I choke

out. A pool of tears are threatening to fall but I'm holding them hard. I can't

cry like a b*tch. "You can cry you know." Bryce says nonchalantly. I abruptly

wipe my eyes. "I miss him so f*cking much. I've been nothing but an asshole to

him. Now he hates me more than anything!" I sobs out loud. Alex hugs me loosely

but all I want is Norman's hands around me. "You know we are so confused about

your vague relation with Norman. I know you're not telling us cause you fear

what if we hate you. But that's not the case. You have our back. Even though

we're not that best buddies to you but we won't shut you out or judge you."

Alex says in a calm tone. Weird he was the most immature friend in their friend

group. Maybe that purple haired boy changed him or something. He is trying so

hard to get his attention.

I tell them

everything.