Chapter 3: I'm the Best Uncle In The World

Owen

"You two munchkins ready?"

Not surprisingly, I get no response. But Cami, the guest who called two days ago about reserving a cabin for several weeks, just called to let me know that she was, by her GPS, two hours out. My hope is that I can take the kids to the park, push them in some swings and get some fresh air even in the cold for a little bit. We’ll follow it up with a Happy Meal for Brody while I feed Issy her bottle before I need to meet Cami so she can follow me back to The Escape and the kids will nap while I show her around.

Never in a million years did I think I’d be planning my day around parks and bottles and naps but I can’t deny that I love it, at least in small quantities. My nephew and niece, even if she’s not my niece by blood, I’d go to battle with anyone who argues I’m not her uncle, have been the best two things to happen to me in a long time.

The reason I offered to take care of the kids while their parents have some time alone was because the timing worked out perfectly. From mid-April until early October, I’m booked full during the summer months so when my long-time friend Rex and his wife Chloe asked me to watch their daughter for a long weekend in the middle of February, I didn’t hesitate to help, even when Olivia and Ethan joined in and asked if I’d watch Brody as well.

The day the woman I thought was the love of my life said I do to another man a few years ago, with my sister standing by her side during the wedding, I resigned myself to a life of solitude. Kids and marriage aren’t in my future because the one I want already got away.

After buckling a snowsuit-clad Issy and Brody into their car seats that we put in the back seat of my large pickup, I double check the diaper bags to make sure I didn’t forget anything. Climbing into the front seat, I look in my rearview mirror at the backs of their car seats, and head into the small town near The Escape.

I tap my thumb against the steering wheel to the smooth sounds of Van Morrison. Another reason I’m the best uncle in the world, I introduce them to classic rock. I hear Issy squeal and her tiny arm flies up and down, something I can see through the mirror I have on the seat facing her. "You like your song, huh, sweetness?" I ask, turning it up just a tiny smidge.

Soon we’ve arrived at the park; I get out of my pickup and get Issy out of her seat, placing her in a carrier on my chest then going around to help Brody get unbuckled. I might have been cocky about being able to handle it all, but I have to admit, when their parents get back, I’ll probably want to sleep for a solid day.

I settle Brody into a toddler swing and push him a few times to get him going then sit in the adult swing next to him and push off the snowy ground with my black winter boots. It’s incredibly awkward trying to sit with Issy hooked to my chest but we make it work. Brody giggles when he sees Issy and I swinging next to him and it causes his swing to go a little sideways when he wiggles.

"Having fun?" I chuckle. Brody’s mitten covered hand reaches out and waves wildly. "I take that as a yes. Good, B-man. Swings are on the playground plan then. Want to try a slide?"

I know the metal will be cold but he has a little snowsuit on so it should be fine. I help him out of the swing and hold his hand to walk over to the small slide. I lift him onto the top of it and keep hold of his hand as he slides down.

He belly laughs the entire way down then scoots off the edge, tugs his little hand away from me and does his best to climb up the steps for the slide. "Okay, big guy. Go for it."

He readies himself and I push on his back just slightly to help him slide down. He tumbles down, landing on his butt on the ground. I hold my breath waiting for the tears but they never come. "You okay there?" I help him up and he hugs me, babbles something that I don’t understand, and repeats the actions.

After about thirty minutes, I notice their little noses are pink and I figure we’ve spent enough time at the park so we load back up and head to McDonald’s. In no time, Brody is munching away on some chicken nuggets and fries while Issy gets bottle. I manage to eat a greasy burger and fries and feel like I could conquer the world for handling it all.

My phone rings so I dig into my jacket pocket for my phone.

"This is Owen."

"Hi, Owen. This is Cami. I just got into town."

"Great. I’m at McDonald’s right now. If you stay on the same road, you’ll go through two stop lights and you’ll see it on the left hand side."

"Okay. I think I can manage that."

"You’ll see my pickup in the parking lot. It has The Escape logo on the side so you can’t miss it."

"Thank you, Owen. I’ll be there soon."

We say goodbye, hang up, and I focus back on the kids. Before long the door opens, bringing in an extremely flustered woman. She looks like she’s ready for the snowpocalypse with how many clothes she’s wearing and I know immediately it’s my new guest.

I smirk, tweak Issy’s little nose, and set aside Issy’s empty bottle as Cami looks around the fast food restaurant for me.

"Cami?" I say, standing up while still holding my niece and not leaving Brody’s side.

A look of relief washes over her face and her shoulders slump as she walks in my direction.

"Owen? From The Escape?"

"That’s me." I shift Issy to the other arm so I can shake her glove-covered hand.

"Oh my gosh. You are in the middle of nowhere here, huh?"

I chuckle. "Just wait ‘til you get out to the resort. Then you’ll really understand what the middle of nowhere looks like."

Her eyes flare and light up. "Sounds amazing."

I nod. "It is. Hungry?"

She curls her nose as she looks around then seems to change her mind and stands up straighter. "You know what? I haven’t had McDonald’s in ages."

"Let me reintroduce you to the joy of a quick burger and fries then."

"And a large Coke. And one of their apple pies," she says, unraveling the black scarf from around her neck. "Man, I haven’t eaten carbs in so long." She removes her matching gloves and shoves them into her enormous bag hanging off her shoulder.

"Here, we’re just finishing up but I promised this guy," I gesture toward Brody, "an ice cream cone so we’ll hang out a while longer. Let’s get you all the food you’ve been missing."

It’s then she notices Brody in the high chair staring up at her and startles. "Oh! Oh my gosh. You’ve got two little ones, huh?"

"Only for a few more days while their parents enjoy some time alone."

"They’re not yours?"

Shaking my head, I explain, "Niece and nephew. This is Brody and Isabelle, B-man and Issy for short."

"They’re cute."

"I agree," I tell her, helping Brody out of his seat so he can come up to the counter with us. Holding his hand, we slowly make our way up to order more food. I glance over at Cami and stop in my tracks. She’s taken off her coat but left the mustard-colored beanie covering her head. Wearing a black and white striped long sleeve t-shirt, I see every beautiful curve and wonder why she’s been holding back carbs from her menu. Black leggings show off legs that would bring any man to his knees. Even the light brown sheepskin boots on her feet are cute.

Long dark hair falls over her shoulder in big waves, bright blue eyes stare back at me. They’re gorgeous despite the fact that they’re clouded with sadness and exhaustion, if the bags under her eyes are any sort of clue.

I clear my throat and let her order in front of me. I can’t help but allow my eyes to linger on her ass a few too many seconds.

"I’ll have a number three. Do you still large size it? What was that called?"

"You want a large sized fry and drink?" the bored employee asks.

"Yes. That. And an apple pie." Then she quickly changes her mind and shouts, "Nope. Two of ‘em! Warm, right?"

"Yeah. We warm them up."

She moans and looks over her shoulder at me. "That sounds so good, right? You want one? He does. I can see it. Make that four because I’m not going to be the only one eating two. And an ice cream cone, too. But make it small because it’s for the little boy. And maybe include a cup, too? Just in case he needs a spoon, right?"

I’m standing behind her, holding Issy in one arm, Brody’s hand in the other, and all I can think is "Who is this woman?"

She’s not only beautiful but seems confident.

Just as I’m about to grab my wallet to pay, I feel Issy tense up in my arms and then she makes a grunting noise, her face turning red.

Then the next thing that hits, hits hard.

The odor.

The unmistakable smell of a baby pooping her pants fills the space between us. Brody giggles, Cami looks equally grossed out and completely amused.

"Oh my gosh, was that her?"

I chuckle and shift her a little bit so her bottom isn’t resting on my arm anymore. "Well, it certainly wasn’t me."

Her eyes are wide when she asks, "Do you need to, um, change her?"

Well I’m not planning to let her sit in her own poo. "Yeah. I’ll be back in a little bit."

"Want him to stay here?" From the way she asks, it sounds like the idea terrifies her.

"Nah, I’ve got it."

She sighs with relief. "Oh. Okay."

I make my way over to where we were sitting and grab the diaper bag, draping it over my shoulder. Then I knock several times on the women’s bathroom door even though I’m almost positive no one’s in there. We were the only ones in the restaurant but just in case there’s an employee, I figure I better be safe.

No one calls out so I open the door slowly, call out, "Anyone in here?" and because silence greets me, I grab the trash can by the door, prop open the door, and get to work changing Issy’s diaper as quickly as I can. I manage to get Brody’s diaper changed as well, throwing my sweatshirt on the floor for Issy to sit on and then bracing her with my legs so she doesn’t fall or scoot away onto the dirty bathroom floor.

"You two need to learn to use the toilet," I mutter and hear a female giggle behind me. Spinning around, I see Cami leaning against the door watching.

"I wondered how you were going to manage that."

"I’m an old pro. This is why I’m the best uncle on the planet."

"You actually did pretty good." She nods in approval then steps into the bathroom, nudging my leg aside and reaching between my legs to lift Issy into her arms.

"This okay?"

I nod in reply and finish up Brody, glancing over at Cami out of the corner of my eye. She’s bouncing up and down, talking to Issy and smiling. She’s really pretty when she smiles, even though something tells me she hasn’t done much of it recently.

"Do you watch them often?"

"Not as much as I’d like, no. Their parents all live in my hometown in Michigan," I explain, pulling up Brody’s pants and setting him on the floor. He clings to my leg as I wash my hands, drying them on my shirt because I don’t have the patience to use the hand dryer. "They’re on a vacation in the Dominican for a few more days and I offered to take care of them."

"You and your wife don’t have kids?"

I smirk, draping the diaper bag on my shoulder and lifting Brody into my arms. "No wife. No girlfriend. Just me, thank goodness."

We leave the restroom and I hear a number called from the counter.

"Oh! That’s our stuff."

Even holding Issy, she damn near skips to the front, grabs the tray, and brings it over to where I was sitting earlier. After I get Brody settled back in his chair so he can dive into his ice cream, she hands Issy back to me and picks up her cup to get her drink.

"Oh my gosh, it’s so good," she moans after she takes a seat and starts diving in.

"Whatever you say." I chuckle.

"So how far are we from your resort?"

"Not far. About twenty minutes."

Cami covers her mouth while still chewing then mumbles, "Sounds good."

I’m impressed with how quickly she’s able to eat a quarter-pound burger, large fries, two apple pies, and a large Coke with a refill.

"Ready?" she asks as I’m cleaning up Brody’s face. Both kids are definitely due for naps so I’m hoping they can fall asleep on the way home.

We bundle up, head out to our cars, and then she’s following me on the way to The Escape. I watch her in the rearview mirror, wondering what brought this woman to my doorstep in the middle of winter.