Chapter 18 [ Aftermath ]

[ I couldn't sleep.

Every time I tried to close my eyes I saw all the dead, the blood...heard the screams.

Thousands of thoughts raced through my head.

Hours passed but I couldn't calm myself down.

I writhed in bed and my wounds kept opening.

I had to close them again.

Every drop of blood I lost reminded me even more of the Times Square.

I didn't dare to turn the TV on.

I didn't want to hear it...didn't want to know how many died.

My cell phone vibrated very often. I don't know whether May, Mr. Stark, Fury or others called me because I never picked up.

I tried to ignore it just like I tried to ignore the loud sirens by burying my head under my pillow.

With every second I thought about that explosion I hated myself more and more.

I hated myself that I couldn't defeat him in time.

I hated myself that it took me so long to decide.

I hated myself for being too weak.

After more hours passed I noticed the sunlight shining through my window.

It was already the next day and I didn't notice.

May is still not back... too much work, too many injuries probably.

I'm sorry for her.

As a nurse, treating so many people in one night and seeing so many people in pain...

it breaks my heart to think about her exhausten.

I managed to get myself up, packed my bag and went to school.

I tried to clear my head but I couldn't.

I sat in class like a dead man, staring at my desk.

I only moved when the bell rang or when Ned tapped me to let me know that we now have a different subject and we need to change rooms.

But I wasn't the only one affected by the whole thing.

The whole school was traumatized.

The school principal gave a speech in the sports hall.

Many cried.

Some were not present at all because they were visiting family members in hospitals or because they were mourning the dead.]

'I disappointed them all.

I ruined some of their lives forever.

They cry because of me.

They are afraid because of me.

What should I do now?

Should i move on.

Do I have the right to be a hero anymore or have I lost that right when the bomb exploded.'

[ I walked down the school hallway with my head bowed.

A lot of whispering and a lot of sad faces.

I reached my locker and put my books in while I packed others in my backpack.

No danger, but my spider sense kicked in and a finger gently tapped me on the shoulder.]

"Hey...Peter..."

[ I turned around and saw Gwen looking at me.

I managed to put on a smile.]

"Hey.."

I said with a soft voice.

"You know, at the explosion yesterday...I heard Spiderman was also there to help those who were injured. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. If you want to talk about it then..."

"I am alright Gwen...really"

I cut her off.

"I just...I'm just a little depressed, as is everyone else. I'm fine... it'll be fine."

When I said that sentence, I didn't know whether I was responding to Gwen or trying to convince myself that everything would be okay.

"Okay..

Hey, would you like to go for a cup of coffee after school? Maybe it will help us both to calm down a litte."

I looked and didn't notice that I was still smiling. This girl is really something.

"Yeah sure...I woul love to."

"Great. I will wait for you when school is finished in front of the entrance."

She kissed me on the cheek, waved , turned around and walked away.

The bell rang for the last time for the day and as she said, she was waiting for me in front of the school entrance. We both went to Starbucks together.

We sat down and waited for our order. While we were talking she managed to make me grin several times. she actually managed to distract me. And her smile burned away the bad thoughts in my head.

"Hey, I have to use the restroom for a moment, I'll be back soon."

While I was waiting for her I looked out the window and I almost dropped my coffee. A man wearing a black suit and sunglasses stood across the street in front of a black Jeep.

S.H.I.E.L.D

'What do they want from me ?

Do they know that Kraven did it?

Do you know that it was my fault ?'

A flood of thoughts were in my head. until a delicate hand touched mine.

"Peter...are you okay?"

Gwen had come back.

"Yeah...I'm fine I just... I thought I saw somebody I knew."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No.

let's stay here a little longer. I want to listen to you some more."

She smiled and sat down. We continued talking but this time my thoughts were completely focused on the man in black.

That bastard fury.

I pretended to listen to Gwen while I kept looking across the street without her noticing.

The guy was still standing there...didn't move a cenetemeter.

Finally we left Starbucks and since we lived in different directions it was time to say goodbye.

'I would like to accompany her home but this wanker would chase us.

It could be that he isn't from S.H.I.E.L.D after all.

I don't need anyone knowing where my friends live.

Although...if you know who I am it would be a piece of cake to find out who she is.

No, I'll accompany her home. Maybe they're after her. After all, she is the police captain's daughter.'

On the way to her home we talked and laughed...shared moments while I kept checking if the man followed us.

I couldn't see him but my Spidersense rang.

'He is following us'

We arrived at the penthouse.

And she looked at it as if she didn't want to go in.

I noticed it.

"This was amazing Gwen...your amazing...

Thank you for checking up on me..."

I turned around.

"No problem...."

She looked down.

"Night..." she said quietly.

And before she turned around I gently lifted her head up with my finger and kissed her.

She smiled and looked me in the eyes again.

"Then see you tomorrow?"

"Sure" I replied

And with that she entered the building and I turned around to go my way.

A few blocks from Gwens penthouse I stopped and waited at the edge of the sidewalk.

I waited for about two minute till the black jeep pulled up to me.

The car window rolled down and the man who had been chasing me spoke.

Mr. Fury wants to talk to you

Without saying anything, I opened the back door of the car and got in.

The trip took us to the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters where I was introduced to my new team for the first time. On the way we drove past the broken Times Square. Construction sites and closures were set up around the streets. Construction workers were already working on the broken buildings.

We reached the headquarters. I got out and he was already standing in front of the entrance and waiting.

Fury had his arms crossed.

All of Shield knows who I am, it pisses me off so much.

These assholes have no respect for private ferries. At least most heroes don't know it. I walked towards him, still with my backpack on, until I stood in front of him and looked him into his eyes...into his "eye".

"We had a deal..no interference in my life and I will help you train your team."

"I know, but leading a team also means that you are there for them. At least get to know them better. So far you've just kicked their asses and left.

Yesterday I saw you at the explosion. any idea who that might have been.

'Alright...good...he doesn't know that it was Kraven or that it was me fighting him'

"No idea. Isn't it your job to find out ?"

"Be careful now kid. You are strong but also just a lump of flesh with feelings."

'He was right. I had no reason to be so cheeky. No reason to let my anger out on him.'

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm a little upset about yesterday."

He took a deep breath.

"It's alright. I'm pissed too."

"Where are the now.?"

"Resting. It was the first tim the saw this side of being a hero. Luke Cage vomited on the scene."

'It was my first time too...'

I sighed

"Alright let me talk to them."

Fury raised his eyebrow.

"You sure..."

"Yeah...you would be way to harsh to them"

"Alright...good luck."

I walked inside the headquartes and Fury took me to a changing room.

I put on my suit and my mask.

'Shit....it is damaged...fuck.... completely torn apart from the fight with Kraven. fuck what now.

"Hey Fury."

I went out of the locker room and showed him.

He grinned at me and said.

"Wait here for a moment."

A few minutes later he came back with a suitcase.

"What's in there?" I asked him

"You'll like it" he replied still grinning.

I took the suitcase and went back to the locker room.

A metallic click was heard when I opened it.

Inside I saw a Spiderman suit that was very similar to mine except that the color blue was replaced by black.

The white lenses were larger than on the old suit.

'That shit looks awesome. And it perfectly fits'

I came out of the dressing room.

"And?" Fury asked.

"Not bad..." I replied.

"I'm going to test out this suit but before that...where is my team."

Chapter 18 End