Have my eyes deceived me?
"I wasted so much of my life trying to live for others! Even before my mother's death I only thought of ways to make my family happy. I was convinced that was the only way to live. Approval was the very air that I breathed! And what exactly did my efforts glean? It only destroyed me!"
Felicia's head snapped up in defiance.
"I will not do as you command, Goddess! Saintess or not, I do not care to satisfy anyone's will apart from my own. Elysium is doomed! I will not fight the devil! There is nobody there who would fight for me! Nobody alive loves me!"
Dixie signed. Even at this point, Felicia still craves validation. She says she doesn't, but she does. She needs to feel valued in order to function properly.
This is the exact opposite of Helena. That brat needs to admired and adored because it makes her entitled ass feel good. Felicia needs others to feel happy because that makes her feel good. She wishes to be an invaluable asset.
One is selfish and the other is selfless.
I can see now why the Goddess chose Felicia as her most important Saintess. If Felicia has even one person in her life who loves her, she will fight the devil himself to keep that one person safe. Now image if she were loved by a nation? How much fortune would she bless her people with? She would help with everything and anything. Her heart would be filled with more compassion and devotion towards others than ever before.
This world needs people like Felicia. What a shame that she was treated as a blight and not a priceless jewel. It's why Moniqua treasured her daughter far more than she did her husband and son. She saw how selfless her little girl was.
How could the Duke and Alexander be so blind? How could they simply disregard the sweet girl they knew Felicia to be for the first fourteen years of her life? Did they not remember how much she aspired to make them happy? She was a calm, thoughtful and poised young lady with an intelligent mind. The Duke could take far more pride in her than Helena.
"What if I showed you that there is indeed another soul apart from your mother who loves you dearly, who misses you terribly and wishes to atone for his sins?"
"Atone? What...who..." Felicia's voice trailed off as she thought about her abusers. They were all ruthless. Nobody was remorseful. The Goddess is trying to talk me out of my righteous anger.
"No, child. I am not trying to convince you that you should not be angry. Your anger is justified. I only need you to let go of your hatred. You must only seek justice, not revenge."
"That's...that line has blurred, Goddess. I wish to inflict pain. That part is not negotiable!"
There was a long stretch of silence. Felicia's tortured gaze remained on the eyes. Even Dixie began to grow uncomfortable, wondering if the memory was over.
Finally the Goddess spoke. "Very well, I will permit you to unleash some of your frustration on the one whom you killed with your death curse."
Felicia started cackling again. "What games are you playing with me now, Goddess? I have killed nobody...yet!"
Goddess Kartara closed her eyes and both the ruby and the infinity disappeared with a loud snap.
Felicia gasped in shock, her jaw hanging.
"What! So you have abandoned me once again?! Was everything you said a lie, Goddess!! Is there nobody who will be true to me?!" She burst into tears.
"I hate you! I hate you all! I cannot find peace! I cannot have my revenge! I cannot see my mother! What is the point, then!? Why do I even need to exist?!" Felicia shrieked, jumping to her feet.
She ran away, delving further into the mists. Dixie quickly gave chase. As she got closer, she wondered why Felicia couldn't seem to see or hear her. Reaching out a hand to touch her back, Dixie got sucked into Felicia's body again.
And she was still running. She felt compelled to run as the beating of drums grew louder. Seeing a lake before her, she tried to stop but her legs wouldn't allow her. Or maybe it was Felicia who wouldn't allow her. Dixie felt more in tune with Felicia's emotions with each step she took until they harmonized completely.
Two different names. Two different faces. Two different lives. One in the past. One in the future. But ultimately, she and I are one soul. But where am I running to? I don't even know if I can find it in this fog. I'm going off of pure instinct right now.
The sound of drumming instantly stopped and she jerked to a halt. Bracing her hands against her knees, Felicia panted hard and looked around.
A sudden male voice called out to her from behind. "Sister!"
Felicia spun around and locked eyes with one of the scoundrels who had placed her on the chopping block. "Alex."
She threw her head back and laughed. So, the Goddess has granted me my wish after all. I will get to the rest of them, eventually. But I can make do with just him for now. After all, he is family. It makes his betrayal cut that much deeper.
Alexander's expression was pained as he desperately took in the face of his deceased sister. He did not know what to say or where to begin. How could he even begin to apologize? Seeing her in person, his guilt overwhelmed him. He immediately dropped to his knees.
Felicia arched a brow, her beautiful green eyes tinged with insanity. "What is this? Have my eyes deceived me?"