Maritsu's answer - Maritsu POV

Absorbed in the story Gabriel was creating, he watched Gabriel's back intently.

Knowing that Gabriel may need to create a distance to tell his story. He just sat and waited. He was willing to give him all the time in the world and wasn't planning to interrupt the story that he was telling.

It wasn't just a story, though; it depicted a truthful history. Gabriel's history, and while Gabriel didn't tell the complete story, you could read between the lines.

It was a history full of loss he had suffered, struggle in his personal life and professional one. It was the unbearable truth behind everything he had achieved if you only listened closely enough.

Having gained an understanding about Gabriel through the last few weeks and having accepted him as an older brother.

It showed how much admiration Maritsu obviously had for the man in front of him. Knowing that this man had suffered so much made him only admire him more.

Something he thought might not have been possible in such a short time.

The things this man had achieved were amazing, and the price he had paid must have been unimaginable.

It made him wonder, though. The man in front of him was about the same age as his brother, Jason. If Jason was around, would he have created the same achievements as the man in front of him?

It almost seemed impossible, but it couldn't stop him from imagining it.

There was no doubt his brother Jason was an amazing figure and pillar in his mind, and he had often tried to imagine what kind of man Jason might have become if he hadn't died.

However, Jason died while he was still young and that made imagining what my brother would have become, if the world had given him time to grow up, very difficult.

Someone had rudely deprived time from Jason and prevented him from growing up.

He would never get to see what kind of image his brother truly was after he had grown up and aged. Never see what kind of man he would have become.

What would Jason have looked like? He could hardly imagine it before. The only thing he could imagine was that his brother would have become wiser, stronger, and more stable.

Now, staring at Gabriel's back, he could do more than imagine it, though. Looking at the back of Gabriel, it was almost like he could see his brother, or at the very least, who his brother might have become, if he had been given time.

It wasn't that he didn't see the differences between the two. Where there were similarities, there were also differences, and the reason he accepted Gabriel wasn't because he was so similar to his brother.

He accepted Gabriel because he truly came to appreciate him for who he was.

Gabriel was nobody's stand in. Gabriel could never be someone stand in, for that he was just too majestic.

That didn't change the fact, though. When he saw Gabriel, he felt like he could see the person his brother would have become. The way they carried themselves sometimes was just so strikingly similar.

Besides that, the way Gabriel cares about me is exactly the same as how my brother used to take care of me and care for me.

The similarities they carried seemed unavoidable, though.

The reason for this might be that they were both burdened by a weight. Nobody should have been.

Gabriel's weight might be heavier, but Jason had to carry his future and their mother's survival at an earlier age, while not being old enough yet to survive in society and not having the skills to carry any weight of significance.

The things Gabriel did so far, he could only truly admire. The laws he helped push through, and the safety he had already created by making these laws a reality, kept the soldiers in the entire armed forces and the civilians safer than ever before.

The fact that Gabriel still wasn't satisfied though, showed how huge the promise had been so many years ago and how much he must have suffered to carry this promise all this time by himself.

Just thinking about the fact that Gabriel had to carry the burden alone all this time was enough to make his heart ache. So, when he was told that someone had tried to take his life, it was like he was hit over the head with a baseball bat.

How could someone be willing to let the world loose someone like Gabriel?

His heart ached thinking that Gabriel might have died before he could fulfill his promise and maybe even before meeting him.

What was weirder, though, was that for some reason he could imagine his brother next to him.

They would have been so compatible, and he was sure he would have given Gabriel all the support he needed.

That they could have supported each other made his lips curl into a smile. It, however, also made his heart ache like a needle pricked it.

Maybe the world hadn't just deprived him of his brother. Maybe the world had deprived Gabriel of meeting his brother, too. Even before they had gotten to meet.

If that was the case, he didn't know if he should feel sorry for Gabriel or be happy. Was it easier to never have loved and to have never lost or to have never loved at all?

He wasn't able to answer this question, and the answer also might differ from person to person. I couldn't imagine what Gabriel's choice would have been.

He might have some idea though.

In the few weeks they were together teaching classes at Columburt and the basic soldier skills in Jumbaya, he learned a lot from Gabriel, because while Gabriel had been teaching others, he never let up in teaching him.

Gabriel had told him that remembering the past and the helplessness, about how he could not save his comrades, hurt his spirit every single time. However, he also entrusted another thought to Maritsu, that he believed in karma and spirit.

That he believed everything happened for a reason. That didn't make the loss easier, but he tried to tell himself that the loss was so it would drive him to make a change. A change to the rules and regulations, which existed at that time.

That if the loss hadn't happened, he might still be just a sniper or by now at his age, a teacher in the Nigh hawk's, if he hadn't died before that. Never feeling a need to leave his familiar nest.

The thing that changed him was the loss of his brother's, because that's what they were to him, although they had different blood flowing in their veins. The demise of his brother created his promise and drive.

So, was what he said true? Was there indeed a reason for the loss that they couldn't fathom? For Gabriel, it at least seemed to fill the gaping hole inside his heart, which was left after their passing.

Therefore, if Gabriel could choose, he probably would have chosen to love and then lose that love. Instead of having never loved at all.

Even if it meant adding another set of dog tags around his neck, where there were already so many. With fond remembrance and love, but making it an inexhaustible drive for a change in the world.

If what Gabriel said was true, and everything happened for a reason?

Could he then imagine that his brother died to lead him here, to Gabriel, who needed his support probably more than he thought he did?

He seemed to accept this man so easily as a big brother, maybe a bit too easy even. Even accepting the punishment like it was a matter of course.

Did his big brother send that Gabriel to him, because they both lost him and they could both lean on each other in the future?

The thought alone made Maritsu clench his fist and he could almost see an image of his brother standing next to Gabriel with his hand on Gabriel's soldier. Then that image turned around and smiled at him.

Not just a curl of the lips, no Jason showed him a full-blown smile, a smile he hardly ever saw even in his dreams.

A smile he had forgotten a long time ago.

However, when Maritsu blinked, Jason was gone.

Wiping his eyes, a feeling of loss came over him. He knew he must have imagined it, but he believed it was a sign.

Jason would have loved Gabriel, and he would take care of Gabriel like a younger brother should take care of his older brother when they were struggling.

So many years ago, he couldn't support Jason, but he could support the older brother in front of him.

No longer was he the ignorant young kid who needed to be protected by his big brother. He could help carry the load for the people that mattered to him, if they ever got tired and needed help.

Sometimes, when he sat around in a daze, he wished for another chance to go back in time, to make other choices. That he helped his brother so that he didn't have to join the army. At those moments the guilt seemed to eat him alive.

However, for the very first time, he had a feeling, maybe he was just right where he was supposed to be at this moment.

To get here was a hard journey and the journey ahead might be even more dangerous, maybe even losing his life. However, it was the second best thing to going back in time and making up for his regrets.

He got another chance to support a big brother, who meant so much to him and who would come to mean so much more.

Therefore, when Gabriel turned around and looked him in the eyes, after explaining why he had to test him. He was ready for Gabriel to ask him the question he knew was coming.

Therefore, when he heard Gabriel ask if he was ready to join him. He didn't waver at all.

Without a sliver of a doubt, his eyes became firm. "Yes, I will join you, and we will protect everyone together from now on, like you have been doing alone for so long!"

He knew the future might be long and the road might be rough, but he knew that by following Gabriel he was part of a family again and together they would build this organization that Gabriel envisioned.

So, that other people who were someone else's family member never had to worry again that they would lose their life over a trivial matter, or over a power struggle.

They would build something what would keep them all safe or they would die trying.