45 Days Before the First Letter

I woke up in Casper's bed. Without him in it of course.

He brought me back to his place before he went for a jog, the details were a bit fuzzy however I do recall tripping on something and falling on my face.

His room was scarce. The walls were painted a boring colour, the sheets were plain white and the tiles dark grey. His room didn't go hand in hand with his energetic personality. He didn't customize it in any way and I wondered why.

There was a golden photo frame on the side drawer. It encased an old photograph of a woman who had pale skin and black hair. A miniature version of Casper clung to her neck as they both smiled happily at the camera. This was his mother. I could tell because Casper's eyes were an exact reflection of this woman's.

Casper walked into the room. He saw me studying the photograph but he spoke nothing of it... nothing about her.

"What plans do you have for today?" He asked. "I'm guessing nothing."

I hated his smirk.

"What are you planning on?"

"Hmm.... " he scratched his head for a while. "Well, I am thinking of something."

"What?"

"You'll know it when it happens. Go get dressed, quickly," he ordered.

"Clothes?"

"Agh. Okay, go shower I'll get something."

As I stood against the bathroom door waiting for him, with a towel wrapped around my freshly bathed body, I felt uneasy. My stomach was in knots since last night and it only got worse every time he was in front of me. I didn't want to think about it, it would only make things awkward. As I sighed these thoughts away, he knocked on the bathroom door and handed me a bundle of clothing. I heard his footsteps walking away and shortly after the door of the room closed behind him.

I inspected the items. They included my undergarments and a dusty rose dress with white polka dots which I had never seen before. It fit me perfectly.

I did my hair and walked out of the room to see Casper Anderson dressed in black jeans and red flannel. The red emphasised his features... His pale skin, pink lips and black hair. Very vampire-isq. My heart started beating like a sledgehammer when we made eye contact. I didn't like him looking at me like that but more so I didn't like how I was reacting to it.

"You look... Beautiful," he whispered. And we both looked away awkwardly on cue. "I'm glad the dress fit you."

"Where'd you get this?" I asked pulling on my dress.

"The dress belongs to Jennifer," he told me.

"Jennifer?"

"She's someone I'm dating."

"Oh," I looked away.

"For two months now I think."

"Yeah cool."

Not cool!

I wished I could hulk out of the dress. My throat was knotted up, I didn't know what to say next.

Why was I feeling like this? What was this feeling?

"She's never worn it though." He moved closer. "I got it for her but she had a problem with the colour or something. You can keep it if you want."

I managed to smile awkwardly.

Soon after, he introduced me to his baby. And no, it wasn't Jennifer. She was called McLaren MP4- 12c. A sapphire black magnificent car. It felt like a sin to even call it a car. No. She was the Goddess of cars. These were his words, not mine.

Casper motioned me to get in and we rode off. After minutes of driving, the rain trees were left behind and the city greeted us. I had no clue where he was taking me.

The centre of the city approached. Humans buzzed in colonies, or were they bees? All the activities made it hard to tell them apart. It wasn't a welcoming site to an anxiety-stricken introvert.

But the people vanished almost as soon as they had appeared. We were driving away from the city. Further and further away. We were on an empty road. No cars sped by whatsoever. The area seemed desolate at first but then I noticed a large restaurant at a distance. It sat conspicuously on a scorched patch of land. There were clusters of tiny tables and chairs set outside, but from what I saw, it didn't seem like anyone ever used them. They were rotting away silently.

The car stopped smoothly and we got off. I dared not to ask where in heaven's name we were.

As we walked towards the door a rhythmic beat caught my ear. I thought I heard the sound of drums but then I shook the idea off. We walked further in and a narrow passageway greeted us. Two people could barely walk side by side so Casper led the way as I followed. Further inside, the sound of drums became more distinct, followed by the sound of other instruments as well. Then a roar echoed through the air which livened the atmosphere all the more. It sounded like a concert was going on.

The dreadfully long passage finally came to an end and we stood to face dozens of people who were sitting at their tables, heartily appreciating a band that was performing for them. The song was "Bleed it Out" by Linkin Park. Everything was a total rage. Metal and pop-punk fans were here. I was one too although I didn't dress like one. But as Haley Williams has said, "Headbanging is crucial. Growing up is hard to do. And there's nothing wrong with wearing a dress."

Casper led me to one of the front tables.

"Jas, wait here. I need to meet a friend first."

I nodded and he walked away. My eyes followed him. He stopped to fist bump a dude who was covered in tattoos. He looked pretty awesome with all the piercings. He looked like a work of art. I found it impressive. They talked for a while. My attention returned to the band that was performing. Hearing the lyrics, I could tell the song was coming to an end.

"I bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away- just to throw it away- just to throw it away- I bleed it out- I bleed it out- I bleed it out!"

The bass guitar pulled off its climax and the crowd burst into a cheer.

As soon as the performance ended, the drummer of the band nearly sprinted to Casper and squeezed him into a hug, lifting him into the air for a brief moment. After some time, Casper and his two friends joined me at the table.

"Jas, these are my friends; Brad and Sammy," Casper introduced, pointing at each.

The inked one was Brad and the drummer boy was Sammy.

"They're brothers," he added.

I smiled at them.

"Hi, I'm Jasmine."

Sammy pulled a chair beside me.

"Hello there. You're gorgeous," he winked.

My cheeks turned red right on cue.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"It's the first time Casper's brought a girl here. Are you his girlfriend?" Sammy asked.

Casper slapped the top of his head.

"...no," I whispered.

"Okay. What do you wanna eat? I'll take your order."

"You're a waiter too?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yup. I'm a drummer slash waiter slash the owner of this place," he smiled beautifully.

Brad glared at him and slowly walked away. So I guess that made two people who didn't like socialising.

Casper took a seat opposite me.

"Why don't you stop harassing her and just take the order," he intervened.

Sammy made a face at him and sprung up with his notebook.

We both ordered burgers and fries.

"Thanks for bringing me here, I like this place," I told Casper.

"I knew you would."

My eyes scanned the place in awe. A lot of teenagers were here, grouped together. I dissected each table. There were the goths, some boy bands, and punk rockers.  There was a table for the popular kids as well. They had an aura of "don't you dare talk to us." It was an antisocial gut instinct so I automatically knew. One girl from that table was staring daggers at Casper and for some reason, it bothered me a great deal. She was wearing a mini-skirt and a crop top. One word oozed out of her attire:

Confidence.

I didn't like her.

"That girl there is staring at you," I moved my eyes in her direction.

Casper turned his head cautiously and as soon as his eyes met hers, she winked at him. I needed a bucket for all the emotions that were trying to escape my throat.

"No idea who she is," he told me.

"Okay. Anyway, do you come here often?"

"I perform here every year."

My jaw dropped. "No way!"

"Yes, way. Sammy is my band's drummer but the other members aren't here yet. They might come after several weeks, then we'll practice and perform in January."

"For New Year?"

"Maybe."

"That's so cool."

We had lunch and stayed around a while longer. Sammy talked a lot about everything. He was very friendly.

Around 11 am we exited the restaurant. It was called "Metal Breakers." Sammy said that was the name because Metal meant music and to Break metal one needed good food, thus the name made perfect sense. It did make me laugh a little.

We were back in the car.

"Where to?" I asked.

"The library."

Casper drove us to the city library. As it was, he had a book to return. The lack of noise felt a little strange after the ruckus we had escaped from.

Did silence feel strange?

While he returned the book, I began searching the shelves for something good to read. My eyes ran a sprint over the shelves and they finally landed on the spine of a book titled "Stolen" by Lucy Christopher but it was placed too high for my reach. I tiptoed and stretched my guts out but nothing helped. My fingers barely reached the book's edge. As I struggled, Casper placed his hands on my waist and towered over me, reaching to get the book for me. His hand brushed the length of my arm. I pulled my arm back and turned around colliding in his chest. The moment we looked at each other, something triggered inside me. This wasn't social anxiety, this was something else entirely. Something I didn't want to indulge in. He handed me the book and I took it hesitantly. My heart was racing yet again. Then I remembered Jennifer and everything halted.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

You have a girlfriend, that's what's wrong.

"Nothing."

I issued the book under Casper's name and we got into the car again. This time around I wished I had rather stayed at home.

"You want me to take you anywhere? Any place you want to go to?" He asked, his eyes glued on me.

"Home would be nice," I replied looking out the window.

"What's wrong?"

I evaded his question. "Nothing. I just don't step out often. I'm feeling done for the day."

"Okay."

He drove me back home and once alone, I decided to confront myself on whatever this was which bothered me.

Why did you act so stupidly?

I don't know.

What bothered you then?

When he's too close, I feel jittery.

Why?

I don't know.

You don't even know the guy that well?!

Yes. I do not.

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU LIKE HIM?

I don't know!

Aaaaghh!! This was getting me nowhere. He had a girlfriend! And it's not like I wanted to date him. Then why are you feeling so uneasy? I DON'T KNOW. This pushy voice in my head was annoying. I told it to shut up and not ask me useless questions. This whole thing was a part of the socialisation process. Yes. That's why I'm not familiar with it. Yes yes. Maybe I'll feel better if I didn't see him for a little while. That would give me time to get my head back in line. Yes yes yes.

So after that mutual agreement with myself, I banished all thoughts of Casper Anderson and began reading the novel I had gotten. It sure did help get my mind off other things. This novel demanded attention and after reading the first few pages, I knew I wouldn't put the book down until I was through with it.

Night fell and I continued reading the novel for the next twelve hours.

That was the first night I couldn't sleep because of him.