Please Understand Your Character’s Stance

So in the end I get dragged to a town by Zhu Jue while in confusion. Fortunately none of the ladies said anything on the way. To be honest, I also often think that these ladies have it tough, because most of the time they only have to act like a vase-like character. Some ladies even just appear once and never after that. Even characters like Qiu Yu can already be said to have a significant amount of exposure in comparison; though one good thing about that is that they won't have too strict a set of rules to follow. Of course, the bad thing is that, given this is a novel with a harem protagonist, so they must, with the protagonist… cough cough!

It's a bit sad thinking like that. Perhaps it's because the author wanted me not to bother Zhu Jue flirting with the ladies so that's why the part about me taken away was written. Still, when I think about how my own little disciple has had his way with a great amount of ladies dropping all his morals everywhere where I can't see him, it is a bit saddening. I personally am more of a supporter of monogamy myself, even if I haven't met anyone who I'm romantically interested in. It's as if the author hasn't arranged for one at all.

Oh, how tragic it is to realise that.

If we do not consider our genders, Zhu Jue would actually make for a great partner. But we're the wrong gender so it's out of the question. Since this is not a BL novel, but a harem novel.

While deciding on the rooms Zhu Jue immediately asks for four rooms. It seems he's also become richer, probably having managed to procure his way through all sorts of opportunities. Then he hugs me, "Shixiong, can we sleep together tonight?"

"?" Aren't you going to spend a night with the ladies? Look how they're trying to kill me with their stares.

"We haven't seen each other for so long. I have a lot I want to say to Shixiong."

I did have quite a lot I wanted to ask about, "alright."

So that night, Zhu Jue and I lay side by side on the bed, talking through the night.

I didn't know Zhu Jue would have so much he wanted to tell me about. For example what opportunities he met throughout the year, what good things he's done, what rank he's reached, what reputation he's attained, and all other sorts of things. He seems to be thrilled. I can understand it, since he's still a kid. Then I ask him after a bit of thought, "what about those ladies?"

Zhu Jue who has been talking nonstop suddenly pauses, "do you mind them?"

"I just want to know a bit about your social relationships."

Zhu Jue suddenly turns around and hugs me, "if Shixiong doesn't like them, I'd stop being friends with them immediately."

"That's not necessary." Not just the readers, even the author would kill me.

Though we've separated for a long time, at least Zhu Jue is not one to forget about his friends when he's in heat. What a relief. He seems to be more clingy than ever, however. I don't know whether this is a good thing or not.

"Shixiong?"

"Mm?"

"I want to tell you something."

"Say it."

"Sometimes I feel like the world is strange."

The world is strange, because the author's logic is strange.

Zhu Jue pauses, before continuing, "I feel that something is out of place in this world. Sometimes I feel as if everyone's personality is fake."

Most everyone's personality is faked. This is the truth.

"Doesn't Shixiong feel strange?"

"It's fine."

"Shixiong, don't you feel this world is strange? I feel… unreal."

Of course. It is because this is a world within a novel.

I wanted to say that to Zhu Jue, given we're not within part of what's written in the plot. It's probably fine to diss about it. Though I'm unable to say anything when I open my mouth. This is surprising, as if something invisible is choking my neck. I wanted to ask Zhu Jue "don't you know this is the world inside a novel," but I can't say that either.

Perhaps the protagonist does not actually know that everyone in this world is merely cooperating with the author to complete a play, is something I've suddenly realised. Or perhaps the world's Rules or something else has restricted me from telling him this. This so-called Rule of the world has restricted many other actions of mine. It sets up a range of activities I must do and I mustn't. It makes me feel a bit irritated all of a sudden.

"Shixiong?"

"I'm listening."

He holds tight onto my sleeves, "Shixiong, do you really exist?"

It's hard to say, because for the reader, characters like us do not actually 'exist.' But for us, we're as real as it gets. Though I don't want to say such a sad thing to Zhu Jue, so I hug him, "I'm right here. Can you feel it?"

Zhu Jue mms quietly.

"While you may not understand, but I was born in this world in order to meet with you."

Zhu Jue doesn't say anything.

"I won't hurt you."

He tries to squeeze himself into my embrace, not saying anything more, closing his eyes. After a long while, he says, "tonight's moon is certainly beautiful."

"Mm."

Then the next morning, the author's updates are here, so a new bit of plot is starting.

Sometimes I also think about when a life like this will end, but it's something the author decides. As for what happens to characters like us, I don't know about that either.

Then the next bit of plot is like a transitioning chapter, expositing some unimportant information, such as searching for a lost hairpin that is very important to Yinmei, sending Sixiang back to her family who is worried about her, and helping Motan's family members with something, etc. Though everyone knows that after the peaceful transitioning chapters the intense plot is going to chug along again. Who knows what the author will write about this time. And in fact, I have an ominous premonition.

I don't know if everyone's ominous premonition always come to be, but I'm one that does. Most of the time when I have one, I'll be prepared, and this time is no exception.

I feel that for a character in the novel one of the most tragic things that could happen is rampaging plot devices deployed by the author. Unfortunately, it's a bad habit our author has. I feel bad for all the other characters in her other novels. Of course, I've guessed this would happen sooner or later, and now our author has finally decide to dig up all the flags she planted and put them on display. This means that the finale is approaching.

I personally feel that novels and movies nowadays often have such a character where there's more than one personality in their minds. And their impression on people who don't know about their condition is that they're paranoid and often doing strange stuff. In fact dissociative identity disorder is certainly a real mental disorder. As one of its patients I feel pressured.

I've known about my disease since I was young, because I can often feel something has changed in my surroundings when I wake up. At first, I can't talk with my other personality, but gradually, since some time long ago we've been able to interact. I've named him Xuanyuan Muyun.

I've heard the second personality often appears as a character that protects the original personality. There's certainly been many literary works about this, such as Little Red Riding Wolf. Though mine is a bit more extreme. He often does these really terrible things, probably disregarding all life besides himself with any significance, and he even has severe yandere properties. Yes, the one who did the act of killing the whole family was not my older brother, but 'myself.'

My older brother did his best to return back then from elsewhere. Unrelated to plot, he had the ability to stop Muyun back then, but perhaps due to plot restrictions or some other factor, he never tried to stop me or Muyun. I still remember that sentence Muyun asked my brother after he took over that time, "will you not kill me?"

For so many years Muyun has laid in my consciousness, appearing every now and then. For example, when my older brother brought me back to his base, I knew he would act when I was sleeping and manage the affairs of the antagonist's camp. So every time my older brother saw me he would call out my name just to confirm. And now the plot involving him is here. This is kind of a common occurrence in novels as well. Yes, Xuanyuan Muyun, in other words, 'me,' is the biggest antagonist of the whole novel.

So the plot develops in such a way.

My part is over for now. And Xuanyuan Muyun who is currently inside my body is standing on the side of a cliff with Zhu Jue. Currently, however, it's no longer me and Zhu Jue standing against a common foe, but that the truth is revealed and Xuanyuan Muyun is holding up his sword forcing Zhu Jue to the cliff. I don't want to diss the author for loving nothing but cliffs and mountain sides, because it's a pretty serious occasion. Zhu Jue hasn't figured out what's going on yet, and is looking at me with a shocked expression. When I think about how the protagonist doesn't know that this is the novel's world and probably doesn't know about how the plot has developed, I feel tired and exhausted. He probably thinks I've been staying undercover next to him for a long time, and I've always lied to him. Though with the heavens as my witness, I really am not lying.

Zhu Jue says, "what do you really want to do?"

Muyun examines Zhu Jue over, and then says, "to kill you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm jealous."

Zhu Jue looks perplexed, but I know Muyun is in one of his fits again. There are times when he says things that are perplexing.

Muyun then says, "he's always looking at you, so I'm jealous."

Zhu Jue is silent for a moment, saying, "you're not Shixiong."

"No."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mufeng's most important other."

Looking at Zhu Jue's expression, Muyun probably has his perverted face on again. He's tearing my image apart again.

"But you're becoming more and more important in Mufeng's mind, so I'm jealous of you."

Zhu Jue's expression is becoming more and more complicated.

Muyun shows him a smile, and then beats him up badly, throwing him down the cliff.

If he's not thrown down the cliff then he won't come back later. Why do antagonists never understand that?