I serve as the plate, come and get a piece of me.

Vil cluelessly searched through the fridge, the cupboards and took out everything he could find to put them on the already overflowing counter.

Vil didn't even need to say anything and it was already clear how much he despaired. Frozen Milk had to cover his mouth not to burst out laughing. It got even worse when Vil put the pot onto the hob the wrong way and furiously smashed the hob hoping it would magically turn on.

Frozen Milk's insides twisted with cackles that even the system felt offended about. But Frozen Milk had to admit this was an endearing sight. Vil put much effort and maybe too much force to please Frozen Milk. Frozen Milk couldn't watch any longer and decided to put Vil out of his demise and help him.

Frozen Milk was quite proud of his cooking skills. Living alone made him experiment a lot with food although most of the time he only ate toast or cup noodles since those 10 000 words didn't write themselves.

Vil was too absorbed in managing the overwhelming power of cooking to notice Frozen Milk standing beside him.

So, Frozen Milk watched eagerly from the best spot, the first row how this theatre unfolded. It got to a point where Frozen Milk slapped the counter to cope with the humorous fails of Vil.

"My Lord…" Vil looked embarrassed and Frozen Milk savoured the one-in-a-lifetime chance to ever experience it.

"What are you trying to cook?"

"I thought about making my Lord something sweet but also savoury."

"So a main dish and a dessert?"

"Indeed, but both combined."

Frozen Milk had a very bad feeling.

"How… does that work?"

"My Lord, waffles with chopped garlic in soy sauce sounds good, doesn't it?"

"Are you trying to poison me?"

"I thought this was what my Lord would like."

Frozen Milk this time slapped Vil on his shoulder voluntarily, Vil moaned.

"When have you ever seen me eating this crap, huh? Do I look like a fucking weirdo to you? Do my taste buds seem like something you can go and torture? Do they? Should I rip them out for you to see and apologise? How long have we lived together? Shouldn't you by now know what I like to eat?" Frozen Milk ranted and ranted and kicked Vil to his knees to lecture him from above.

Vil did look like he was reflecting but he also looked very happy to be 'punished' like this by Frozen Milk.

Frozen Milk wanted to go further but knew it'd backfire on him because all of this actually turned Vil on. It was a double-edged sword. If Frozen Milk suffered or if Vil suffered, both were fantastic options for Vil.

All of you come and catch my hands, I'm about to throw them! This damn pervert!

Frozen Milk rolled up his sleeved and then ordered Vil to put back all the stuff they didn't need. In satisfaction, Frozen Milk watched how his villain turned into his personal slave. This was a nice feeling.

Then Frozen Milk proceeded to show Vil how to use a hob by pressing the buttons.

"Like this?" Vil put his palm on the hob.

"No, like this," Frozen Milk pressed the button on and off again.

"Like this?" Vil literally pressed the space next to the button.

"No," a vein popped.

"Like this?" Vil touched the oven.

"No," another vein joined its fellow brother.

"Like this?" Vil put a plate on the hob.

"No," a third vein committed suicide.

"Like this?" Vil touched Frozen Milk's chest.

"Fuck! Are you doing this on purpose? You are, aren't you! Don't mess with me and turn the damn hob on!" a million more veins bathed in the blood of their comrades' corpses.

"Then punish me, my Lord!" this was what he was after, after all! Of course, it was! What else!

"No, turn the hob on and cook the fucking food!" Frozen Milk lost all of his patience and the endearing thoughts he held for Vil vanished like a puff of smoke after violently murdered corpses have been burnt.

"Ok but my Lord, you have t-"

"Shut up!"

Obediently, Vil turned the hob on and with great difficulty, Frozen Milk rolled his eyes, put the pot on.

"Good, let's start the actual cooking."

While Frozen Milk chopped the veggies and meat, Vil was responsible for stirring them.

After another few of Frozen Milk's veins have been sacrificed, the main dishes came out pretty nice. Frozen Milk was satisfied.

Next, Vil insisted on making some dessert. Frozen Milk knew how much his villain loved sweets and fruits which oddly did go along with his image. The strawberries were perfectly covered in whipping cream until Frozen Milk had to physically rip the bottles out of Vil's hands and throw it to the other 10 abused ones lying in the bin.

"That's enough, way too much. No matter how much of a sweet tooth you have, that's going to kill you!" Frozen Milk took the dessert and wanted to walk but found himself again in Vil's arms.

"You shouldn't strain yourself so much."

Frozen Milk was touched and grateful that was until Vil placed the four plates of food on Frozen Milk's body as he carried him back to the dining hall.

What was he? A tray? A human tray?

Frozen Milk should've been used to it. Whenever he thought his characters could be sweet, they always topped his expectation with a great 'haha you thought' that was thrown into this face. Reversal stories and the most insane plot twists couldn't even touch the feet of his characters' gifted talent in this.

Vil laid Frozen Milk down and as if heaven didn't already indulge his characters enough, the plates perfectly stayed on top of Frozen Milk without even spilling a single bit.

Frozen Milk long had resisted the urge to call out unfair things. But was he unfazed by this? Hell no.

He just bitterly cursed in his head as Vil put the food onto the table and then held out a spoon to Frozen Milk.

"There's no way you feed me."

"Please, my Lord, I just wish for yo-"

"Shut up."

Vil put the spoon down and then turned his back to Frozen Milk.

Frozen Milk thought he hurt this villain's feelings but again he was overrun by reversal.

Vil closed in on Frozen Milk's lips and between his mouth he had a piece of vegetable. Who knew his sneaky villain would think of another cliché trope.

"There's no way what's been in your mouth will make it in mine."

Vil pressed Frozen Milk's cheeks together and forced the food into his mouth, then he smirked, "My Lord, you already had me in your mouth."

Then his fingers glided over Frozen Milk's lips.

The anguished screams in Frozen Milk's mind that wished to be released! His villain didn't need to be so explicit. Frozen Milk instantly sat up and took his spoon to mow down his food, so there was none left for Vil to feed him.

Afterwards, Frozen Milk caught Vil's glance at his own plate. Before Vil could destroy Frozen Milk's plan, Frozen Milk grabbed Vil's plate and fed Vil instead.

Vil narrowed his eyes and enjoyed way too obviously this preferred treatment. Frozen Milk huffed after he managed to fill Vil up and he fell back onto the sofa to catch a break. Frozen Milk managed to escape the pitfall to only fall into a second hidden one.

"My Lord, you had your fun. Now, it's my time to indulge myself."

"Wha-"

Vil pinned Frozen Milk down and gave him no chance to move.

"Afterwards, my Lord can wish to punish me as he likes."

With one hand keeping Frozen Milk down, the other went to remove Frozen Milk's clothes. Panic clouded Frozen Milk's eyes.

"My Lord, I haven't been properly able to feast, so please serve as my plate."

The sensation of the whipping cream on his naked skin and the sight of the strawberries on top, made Frozen Milk unable to process anything else as he was lured into a pot of seduction. Then the soft coldness of Vil's hands trailing along his body, had Frozen Milk shiver in pleasure.

Vil's fingertips glided gently over each sensual part of Frozen Milk and Vil's eyes narrowed seeing the slightly parted lips of Frozen Milk breathing heavily as he reacted to each of Vil's touches. A desperate and beastly urge overcame Vil to suck and bite on Frozen Milk's pink and delicious lips, to have his tongue invade and dominate Frozen Milk's.

Frozen Milk felt the heat Vil exuded and his eyes widened as Vil started to tower over Frozen Milk.

"No..o..." Frozen Milk huffed as Vil's lips lowered and made contact with Frozen Milk's chest.

Dammit... Frozen Milk prayed he could escape the real feast his villain meant because Frozen Milk was the real feast!

Frozen Milk could only give in to punishing Vil afterwards to then run away until he once again was caught at night.

Fuck my life.

"Yes, they literally fuck the life out of you, host."

"..."