A Trouble Soul of Grief

Welp I'm turning fifteen this year but I can't believe it has been five years since the incident happened where I got this weird feeling alot of time but I guess because you here I can talk about. Maybe to relieve myself from a painful experience with life that made me feel like grief.

It was 2010 when it all happened, my mother suffered a terrible fate with a stroke that was too powerful for her soul. I was terribly sickened by guilt and sorrow because it always happened to someone close to me that they will always perish when life gets better or just getting up on my feet. It was getting so bad that my family was just me and I was just alone with no one but my grief and so I was going to take my life from this world and just leave the notal world to the next world or any other religious places to godhood but something happened that I never