What's Going on With You? (1)

"How do I begin?"

Koharu strolled by the same starry flowers I saw weeks earlier. Not a single one wilted, and each stuck up as straight as a ruler, gently brushing against our shoulders when we came near the edges of the clearing with our arms beside each other. I glanced around the forest as we cleared ourselves a path.

*I don't even want to imagine what the animals here look like…*

I thought of what to say in response to her musings. "Before anything, can you tell me if you're okay or not? That's the most important thing." I parked myself on a rock like a turtle basking in the heat under the split sky.

Without joining me, she faced away. "Mm. I'll *be* fine. It's just overwhelming right now." She chuckled. "Never thought I'd be lucky and unlucky enough for this to be an issue. I thought my parents were nuts all those years. Well, they still are."

"I think we all have some unpleasant thoughts about our own parents," I joked to lighten things up, but I only heard a snort from Koharu.

*But what do you mean about your parents?*

I frowned, thinking of something to comfort her. "Take it easy, Koko. Go at your own pace with this if it's difficult for you to say all at once. Or you can just rip it off like a bandage. Whichever works better."

The second might be better for my nerves (unless I go into a state of shock), but this is about you—not me.

She nodded, remaining silent as she turned around to stare at me. Her face was conflicted, warring forces in her head in a state of neutrality that prevented her from speaking.

When it didn't seem like she'd open her mouth, I said, "Here's something simple: Why did you take us up here? And alone? Don't tell me…"

She smirked and waved a dismissive hand. "No, it's not like that."

"Thought I should ask." I put a hand on her shoulder after I stood, massaging it gently to keep her from breaking down like before.

As her muscles softened, she began, "I'll just get it out of the way. Answering that requires answering everything at once, though. It's… It's a lot."

Her voice started shaking, and I squeezed her arm.

"Then… just start with the most basic thing. Whatever you're comfortable with."

"Okay." She inhaled and exhaled quickly, keeping herself from falling apart as I helped hold her together. "Number one: I'm being watched in a way."

I perked up. "What do you mean? A stalker?"

*I was kidding before about the bodyguard thing, but I don't think it's a joke anymore…?*

She laughed. Nervously, though. "Close."

*That's not very fucking reassuring.*

"I've already told you about the… peculiarities regarding my parents, yes?"

"I've been eyeing that letter all day," I replied. I decided to stop playing around briefly after she appeared ready to commence her story.

"Good."

She then performed a wonderful gesture. She spun the beautiful, colored flowers into a twist, transforming them into one rainbow blossom with vines beneath it, and she sat down onto it as a chair. I was surprised it could support her as she waved her feet across from me.

*If I stop complaining about magicians, can I do that, too?*

She remarked quietly, "Ah, I hope this doesn't leave pollen on my white robes."

"Making yourself comfortable?" I jeered as she crossed her legs and laid across the seat.

"Yes. It's a painful conversation to have. Gotta make some part of it easy."

I gulped. "Understandable."

"Anyway, you know this is the first time the castle has lacked a queen because it's a piece of recent history."

"Hard to forget."

She nodded. "Of course, there are some delighted by it, but—you would know this as an advisor—there are some opposed to this like all change." To mock them, she twirled her hand around.

*Please just get to the main idea!*

"Blah, blah. They'll bitch about anything. Nothing new. At least they aren't hypocritical about that. So for the summary,"—I tensed as I awaited the completion of her sentence, anxious to know what troubled her so severely—"there's a pretty angry magician out to get me because of that. They have been ever since I was a toddler."

*What the heck? Why would anyone come after you? What can a kid that young do wrong? What could *you* do so wrong to deserve that? Magic is unfair!*

I could tell how much Koharu tried to keep her voice from trembling by her pained expression, halting oceans from welling up in her eyes. I hopped off the rock I was on and made a beeline for the part of the seat next to her. It was a tight fit but fine otherwise.

I hugged her. Even if I was confused and wanted to pry for answers, she took priority over stupid, inanimate strings of words.

"Don't worry, Koko. You don't have to hide it," I said vaguely, much like the way she always spoke to me and still did right then. "Just finish when you're ready."

She moved closer to me (if that was even possible). "Thank you,"—she wiped her eyes—"but I'd like to finish first."

*I'll still be here to calm you down.*

"Okay."

Clearing her throat and sniffling cutely, she said, "You see, they're more powerful than my parents—than Sinclair and Leo even. I was told they whispered to me and my brother that they'd make sure one of us would go through hell and back if we're ever spotted with lovers." Without her usual exuberance, she held a finger up. "That only applies if we're caught. We're safe inside the castle—boring—and sometimes we're okay to go out. It's a game of hide-and-seek more than anything."

*You make it sound trivial, but this just seems crazy.*

She brought a clothed arm to her face again, but a tear slipped out this time as she aimed to mask her sadness with her quirks. While she buried her head in my shoulder, warm, wet patches simmered on it, hurting me inside and out. I was shocked—both at her words and at her succumbing to an emotion other than happiness again.

*But how can you remember something they whispered to you that young? How do you even know that happened if someone else had to tell you?*

I was left with a bitter sort of confusion as she continued rambling, but I didn't want to add more questions to the mix. I already blended so many in before and watched them rot like vegetables churned together.

"I don't know what they're going to do if they find out, Lia. That's what's missing." She gripped one of my arms tightly, latching onto it like a clip (as sharply, too, with her stubby fingernails). "I don't want to lose this so soon."

*Me neither, but you have to explain this all better at some point. I don't understand the world of magicians too well…*

Hearing that reignited the insecurities I had before, but I extinguished them promptly, knowing it was not the time to bring them up; it wasn't the time to be selfish. I pressed a kiss to her forehead lightly as tears fell like raindrops from her eyes, painting her face in a shiny gloss of watercolor. It seemed the clouds above us would combine into a fluffy halo around her as a release, but that was only in my imagination.

I moved one hand up to wipe her cheek and tilt her jaw up, causing our eyes to meet. The green color in them had so little light behind it that I knew my next words were crucial.

*How should I tell you this so that you won't misinterpret my words?*

"Look, I know what you're going to want to hear is that it's fine, but nothing can ever promise that."

The sheer expression of pain she gave me at that statement broke my heart.

I flinched, filling up with regret.

*Shit. I don't want to talk myself into a ditch.*

"Don't take it like that, please." I urgently gripped her other hand as she nodded slowly.

"Don't worry," she said. "I know what you're trying to say."

I smiled at her, thankful for her understanding. "What I can promise you is that I'll help you get through this. Anything we need to do. All we have to do is hide inside for the most part, right? We can have fun anywhere if we're together."

*Plus, a castle's not a bad place to be stuck in. It's kind of a private resort.*

She placed her hand on top of the one on her face. I noticed her shift to a frown for a nanosecond, but she grinned dumbly when she said, "Isn't that what a princess is supposed to say in the books?"

Both of us chuckled lightly.

*I guess I kinda do sound cheesy when I want to be impressive.*

"Should we switch places for a day?" I grinned.

"Maybe for a kiss…?" The storm of tears subsided, though its shine was still evident on her cheeks. She pointed to them (cheekily).

"All right. Then, I guess I'll be your princess."

I leaned in to kiss her, lightly and gently, but with more passion than our first. She eased against me, and I hoped the worry exited her body with that. I wanted to give her some confirmation this wasn't a deal breaker; I was glad she told me early instead of letting it pile up until it became impossible to ignore. So I let my lips tell the story—a soft and sweet one—that we would try our best to stay together under the strange circumstances.

After all, I would have done anything to keep her safe.

*Anyway, what's a vague curse going to do with those nebulous details? The scratches in the town square have more credibility than some prophetic hearsay.*

***

Leo had the most awkward timing when it came to showing up anywhere; he popped in at the clearing's edge right as Koharu and I were making out, and my hands rested gently on her hips. I didn't intend to move them anywhere. All I wanted to do was make her feel better, and sometimes physical affection was an adequate solution after tiring of complicated dialogue.

"Okay, I did *not* need to see that."

Leo stuck out his tongue in disgust as Koharu moved away just enough to acknowledge him. I didn't budge and instead lightly pecked her on the cheek, wanting to dote on her regardless.

"I'm still innocent." He placed a hand over his eyes, separating the middle and ring fingers in a cocky manner to create a space to see between them.

"As if," I butted in. "You were literally joking about this."

*You won't *stop* joking about this.*

"Fine, but are you guys done now?" The wind trailed along the flaps of a ruffled skirt today as he hovered inches above the ground. "I want to play with Froggie, and I don't think she appreciates the intrusion."

*Can't tell if you won't let me see her.*

I almost returned a heated remark, but Koharu instead said, "Yes, we're done here. Thank you for the spells. I didn't need that old dumbass hearing me."

"Inei?" Leo asked.

Chuckling, Koharu answered, "Wrong one."

"Oh, I know who you're talking about." Leo nodded with a hint of a grin. "I haven't heard anything about them in a while."

"They're always watching, though," Koharu added despairingly.

Leo scolded, "Yep. Don't do anything stupid."

*Hypocritical, coming from you.*

"Now, you two, get out. Bye-bye." He chuckled as he kicked us out as abruptly as he sent us up here, fanning fairy dust onto us.

*Stop spraying that shit in my face before I have to go to a medic!*

After choking, we found ourselves in a red bedroom filled with the scent of candles and some—

"Oh," Koharu said, eyes going wide at the setup.

"Leo, you piece of shit!"

As I shouted the fairy's name, the room morphed into a normal dining hall. I wiped nervous sweat off my brow.

*It's way too soon to even think about that.*

"I guess we'll just have to be careful." I smirked at Koharu, who was still flaming red.

"Yeah… I have no words for the moment."