When You Decided......

🥀Ray John, thanks for the advice😍😍😍🌹

Pete left me after we had our little conversation. I was looking for someone to relay all my problems but at least I had him to tell one two and three though I was not sure whether it was a good thing. Still wanted to tell him some of the things bagging me. If he approves of it I am more than happy that he approved of it. I am busy trying to arrange some clothes for Jake whom I heard is going to Canada for some meetings. I am not part of the meeting and all I can do is arrange his clothes and plan them in the correct order. I pick his suits all that he will match and the ties plus the shoes and arrange them after ironing them to make sure that everything is okay. I don't know where he went and I don't want to bother him. I feel bad that Andrea brought the flowers to the house but didn't find him there. I found the flower placed in a vase and the burritos had been eaten. What can I possibly do if not become worried about everything? I am okay that he is doing fine, the only thing bagging me is that I have not spoken to him for almost three weeks now. The bed looks cold whenever he is not around and even if he is around and we don't talk, it feels the same and I don't know what's wrong. I want to tell him I am sorry which I have done in many ways but turns out he doesn't acknowledge any of this. Bothering Claire and Dominic on their vacation is not good. Whenever they call, I just say I am going fine but I don't want to make her think that I have a lot of problems with me. She needs to enjoy every moment that she has. I know she will have a big day when she comes back. We need to launch our charity home and that needs a lot of work and effort. I made sure that the final touches were put in place and that nothing was missing. The wiring was done and the lights were placed in today. The thing remaining was to open the place. For my dinner, the place was already up. The only thing remaining is bringing in books in the upper part of the room. I don't need to do a big opening. Plus my opening will be done normally, we will just announce discounts to the first thirty customers. I asked Dan to speak to Andreas if he can be in charge of the place. It's not something big but I believe it's going to get me something meaningful. I am waiting for him to come up with a menu and I will help establish prices.  I want to tell Jame that I will be opening the place and I want him to be among the first people to eat there but at the same time, I don't see the need because the restaurant is going to be open when we have opened the new shelter home. We want our first visitors to work in the diner and some of them will get other employment. All I have been hoping for is everything to go on okay and we have a good day. 

My phone is ringing, I think it's Claire, we agreed to be talking at this time. I think Jake's issue is really eating me up and as much as I am trying to come up with ways to speak to him mouth to mouth, it is hard. I don't want to ask about opinions. Fern is already getting screwed and she will come up with bad ideas on how to do this. Pete will tell me not to bother because I did nothing wrong. For Claire, she will ask Dominic to speak sense into Jake's head and that is going to be tough for me. I don't want to do anything in a rush, I wanted to make sure that everything is in place before I mess any of it up.

Picking my phone, it was Claire. I fixed my smile and looked at the screen.  I know Baby Jade will be jumping up and down wanting to speak with me.

          Hey, how is it going?

Claire is always happy, it's either Dominic is in the background trying to jump and down or he is kissing Claire every second he gets. Today looking at her, Dominic was sleeping on her lap while Jade was standing on Dominic's head trying to look into the screen. 

"Wow, how are you doing? I can see some furrows on your forehead, I am sorry for giving you a lot of work, I will make sure you rest for a while after we are done with the grand opening."

I nodded looking at her. I wish she knew that it's not about work because I enjoy everything that I am doing. I enjoy doing every work given. I am not the lazy asshole I was a long time ago. Right now, all I want to do, is be a good person, do everything in order and avoid a lot is drama in my life. I don't want to miss anything either. 

"Where is Jake, I haven't seen him next to you for a while, where did so you take him or is he busy down there listening to me talk to you?"

     I forced a laugh and looked at the screen. 

Come on, he is busy, he went out today with his friends. You know he must have a social life, Unlike me who had only you and the baby. Apart from that, I am lonely.

"Okay baby come on, you dont need to be lovely, I want you to be happy as always, don't feel like I am neglecting you over here. I am always thinking about you and speaking of this little devil who has been calling your name every day when he sees your picture."

I asked her to bring Jade to the screen. He was ecstatic and bumpy. He brought the whole screen to his face and kissed it. This is our way of saying hi. I also kissed the screen so that he can see it like I am kissing him.

When her mother removed the screen from his face, he started shouting all over the place. His dad had to show him a video of me talking so that he can keep quiet. 

    "Hey, Dee, how are you doing?"

I am fine Dominic. What will you bring your little sister when you come from your little trip? I want a lot of sweet things. The other salty you can give the to Claire.

"Eeew, Dee what is that. I am getting everything and we will get you whatever you need but not what I am getting. Tell Jake to get you what you want that is salty."

We laughed on the phone. We talked about the shelter and we agreed to do a call when I am on the site. She wanted to see how everything is going. I didn't want to say anything because they were all happy and one misplacing of words is going to lead me into a bad place. So I shut my mouth.

I ended the call and took a shower. I wanted to make sure I prepare myself well so that in case Jake comes back he will find me okay. Fern told me that dinner was ready and the only I wanted was to place something in my belly.  Pete was already sitting down and he was doing everything on his plate without even looking at me. I didn't know why but maybe he was busy with his food to see me at the table. The steak was served with some salad and fried rice. Something that I enjoy most is the steak.

Fern filled his plate with steak and vegetables, she was avoiding the rice. Maybe the sugar that comes with it. Though she needs every meal to come back to normal and I didn't want her to kill herself.

I laced my food on the plate and ate everything. The meal was silent. We used to talk the other days but there we nothing being said today. Everyone was busy munching on his food. When everyone was done, they cleared the table and went to their rooms. Pete bade me goodbye and the only person remaining was me in the house waiting for Jake to come back. I wanted us to talk today. A talk about everything and the way we are supposed to have that trip to make sure that everything was done. Plus we had some appointments that were supposed to be done next week from the various hospital where we are going to seek help. We had not talked about them because I placed the letters in Jake's study room but he never said anything. Maybe we can also talk about it. 

Waiting for almost two hours and there was no one coming in or out. Fern had closed the lights to her room and the only person remaining was me in the living room, watching some Ted Talks trying to educate myself some things. Either one or two. I wanted to know more.

About midnight, the door opened and Jake was walking in with his clothes all dirty. The white t-shirt that he had in him was now brown and the cap on his head was torn. Where had he been? I thought he went out to drink why is he looking this way. I rushed to the door but trying to help him, he was suffering making it hard for me to catch him. 

"Hey, you, why are you looking beautiful at this time? I thought you went to get a dick somewhere else? Are you here to kill me off so that you can run away with my money?"

What's wrong with Jake? Why would he insinuate that I want to run away and why would he even think that I want to kill him? Maybe it's the alcohol that is in his brain and he thinks that this is going to happen. I help him to stand but he pushes me away. I stagger but don't fall because I want to make sure that he is fine. I want to make sure he doesn't fall. Maybe should call Pete, but it's already late. Maybe I  try my best to home gin from the wall. 

        "Hun, come on, let's get you upstairs you need to change."

I was only thinking about how to help him get out of the clothes he was in. That isn't the only thing I want. him.  I want him to be comfortable. Suddenly he accidentally sat on the stairs and was heavy to hold but using all my might. I grabbed him and we headed to the stairs where our room was. Holding him steadily, I directed him to the tab where I helped him get dressed. Done with that, I put him in some warm clothes because his body was now cold and all he needed was to warm. Done with everything, I placed him in the head and covered his body. 

"What's gotten into you? We used to have a good conversation, and talk about things even before they got this far. I don't want to live with you and that makes me scared. I am scared that we might leave each other and I will be left all alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to be next to you every day because I love you. I love you very much and it pains me that we are not talking. We are starting away from each other. I love you."

After my little speech, I placed a kiss on his forehead and walked to place everything in order. I wanted to place his dirty clothes in the laundry and be done, but his hand grabbed me tightly and dragged me to bed. I slept with him by the side but when he finally left me, I decided to place everything of his in the laundry room. 

Walking out of the room, I had someone talking. Looking sideways, it was Fern in her room. Who will she be talking to at this point in the night? I thought she was asleep? Why could t she just sleep? Plus she jas been sick I hope she is not planning to have another sex episode in the house because I will have to throw her out. Taking the clothes to the laundry room, I came back and found that she was so talking.

I walked to her room and knocked before talking. Suddenly the call ended and sje was looking at me. 

Is everything okay with you? I thought you were sleeping, whom are you speaking?

She looked at me and switched the bedside lamp. Let looking at me, there was this anger on her face, I don't know what was wrong with her. I just wanted to know if she is okay but I was not planning on agitating her up.

"What's your problem? I thought you had a problem with Jake, why are you looking at me as if I am your baby. Have a life sweetie and stop asking me about other things. J have a private life too. Being in your house doesn't mean that I can't just speak to anyone whom I want to? You told me not to bring anyone into the condo and that is what I wanted to tell the person on the other line, that my little sister doesn't love it when I am being fucked under her roof so maybe I can escape to him because he is going to give me free accommodation. Also because you don't want to give me a space in those big apartments you are building."

Okay, looks like she wants to kill me now. I thought we had an agreement why are we this way? 

Fern, it's not like I don't want to give you accommodation, I want you to work hard to earn it. I am ready to give you the house at a discount but not for free okay? Don't use that against me because I am not a bad person here.

"So you are not the bad person, the same way you told me that Jake was against you having sex with him but in the real sense you are the one who was the problem. Uh, you think that you can fool everyone in here? I am not that person. You know what, I can even leave this house for you and your greedy ass that doesn't want people to have peace. You just want to make me look bad in front of everyone. Your every action has proved that you never loved me at all."

What's wrong with Fern? I thought she was happy where she was. Why is she being this weird and angry all of a sudden? This doesn't make sense and when did they even have a conversation with Jake?  I thought Jake went for his work.

          "When did you speak with Jake?"

"Oh, when you decided to go to your work without making his clothes and ironing his cliches and his shirt and missed the cufflinks!"

I thought I had placed everything for Jake in my closet and told him even over the phone? How comes he didn't get any of it? Is this what they were talking about when I jit around? Plus I thought the problems that I relayed to Fern were private. How did I think she can keep secrets?

I wanted to ask her a lot of things, I wanted to know why she was the one who asked Jake about our relationship but my phone rang and there was a video sent to me by an unknown person.