WE NEED TO TALK!

Diana's P.O.V

Today has been a great day, I can't complain. Meeting my high school bestie Dave after six years, was indeed a surprise. I thought that I would never see him again after they moved to Barbados.

He was the only friend that I had until Edith moved in and I tried befriending her and she offered me a job. 

I don't know if he is doing okay but all I hope for is for him to have a great life, to have good things in life because he deserves it after his father left his mom for another woman.

I don't want to think about what happened after the meeting. If I was in a position to rewind the time, I would have gone to that time and undid all the nasty things that I did in that office. 

Trying to make Jake jealous was not part of the plan, that was all stupid. 

Can I ask you a question because it seems if I start looking for answers I will get the weird internet idea that I don't want to read?

"How do you make someone love you, right for you and acknowledge you?"

That's might sound like a silly question but I need the answer.

If you are a psychiatrist don't take me through the therapy lessons because I know the kind of answer that you are going to give me.

"It's either no one loved you in your childhood and now you need that love after seeing a good man, or you are trying to fight trauma linked to your past."

God, I hate therapy!

I don't see a future with Jake, I mean a fine man who is ageing like a fine wine, he won't date a pom_pom like me!

Maybe I should focus on Rice University, don't you think?

Let's leave that, can we try making some supper since we are alone? It's a good practice. We will watch youtube videos from the laptop and make some good for ourselves. 

"Like a date for two?" 

"Yeah, like a date for two."

"You know, I wish you were a real person, probably we would be doing much together because you understand me," 

"Wait, you think I am not real Diana? I am your inner soul, so I am real, I feel your pain, your cry and everything you do or don't do I feel them. Most of the time you do some things that I didn't want to engage in but I rarely protest, why? Because you won't be able to listen to me. I wish you could just listen to me in a minute before doing those things." (Sniffs)

'I am sorry sweetheart, I thought you like what I am doing, I have never thought that I am pressuring you too much or I am forcing you to do it. Then why don't you give me a sign?" 

"Diana, a sign? That requires you to listen. We are not even friends, you don't love me, if you have ever loved me then you would have listened to what I am saying. Love goes a long way. So please, I just want you to recognize the person I am," 

Do you hear what my inner soul is saying? That looks like the best advice so far. I think I need to love myself first before I love another person. 

Why does it feel so hard to do this?

My trail of thoughts was stopped by the ringing of the doorbell. I wonder who might want to come in right now. 

The guards were downstairs they should have informed me that someone was coming up but what didn't they inform me?

Looking through the video, Jake!

"What is he doing now little Diana?" I asked myself as I still decided on opening the door or just leaving it closed.

The little me squirmed and I was in shock. I thought she wanted us to love each other before moving to love someone else?

I sighed and took two deep breathe as I placed my hands on the doorknob.

Breathing out, I twisted the knob and allowed him in.

I am always afraid to face him. He has this enticing aura like a perpetrator who wants to harm you, they use lollipops to lure you into the trap for their benefit.

With my head held down, I moved from the door and swiftly moved towards the kitchen to finish my little cooking with the mini-me that is starting to nudge me to take a look at him.

"Good evening Diana?" He greeted.

'Stupid ass did you forget to greet people, you haven't even said hi to him. Speak up quickly,' nudged the mini-me. 

I hate this now. I wish I could have never agreed to this silly contract of listening to her first. This is so so fucked up!

"Good evening, Jake," I replied in my usual voice as I looked at the food cooking in the pot and stirred it.

I didn't want to engage in any sympathetic conversation. I don't need to be jealous because he doesn't love me. I bet he is even bored seeing me this pathetic every day.

"Hey little miss Diana, do you have any pretty advice you want to give me as I stir this food?" I asked myself.

Instead of getting a reply, all I saw was a sad-looking face.

I decided to let her sleep because if she tries another piece of advice trust me this will end up in chaos and drama.

While in my trance fighting my little me, I hadn't noticed that Jake had moved close to me. I tried to pretend that I hadn't noticed him but it was hard.

"I have already sent the minutes to Theodore," I told him as I clumsily stirred the pot. 

I don't know if I am doing the right thing, or I am being rude, I just hope this won't send the wrong message to him. 

"It's okay, I have read it and you have done a good job with it, I am happy," he said casually.

God, here I thought he was going to act a little sorry for what he did in the afternoon. How wrong am I?

"Diana, Diana, can you hear me calling?" I asked my inner self. 

I thought that for once he can listen to me and give me the sign that things are going to be okay. Rather than just hiding in there when I need her the most.

Instead, she crawled back without even a peep in my direction. 

I could feel my body heating up, but I didn't know why it's heating up. But then I knew he was still beside me. 

"Anything I can help with?" He asked as he poured himself a drink. 

"Maybe the plates, the food is ready," I said while walking to the sink without any rough idea what I was going to get from the sink. 

I just stood there, looking at the sink as the water was running from the tap. 

I wanted to maybe cry, shed a tear but I couldn't because that was just childish, then what is not childish? 

One to ignore you that is childish, one to kiss you then act as if that didn't happen that is childish. 

Maybe I miss it when I was young and nothing bothered me at all. Everything was just a rollercoaster ride.

Whatever, I closed the tap and went to pick the food from the fire but it was not there, looking at the dining table, Jake was already seated down and steaming food in front of him. 

I wiped my hands and moved towards the table. He placed food on my plate without even looking at me and placed the food in front of me as he piled his plate. 

"Thank you, but I don't drink," I told him as he placed a glass of wine beside my plate. 

His face grew furrows and he poured the wine in his glass and handed me water instead. 

"Thank you," I murmured. 

We didn't even pray the way we did when Dave and his boss were around. This felt weird more than it felt when Dave was around. 

It's was like being at the table with the kings and the queens or being forced to do something at gunpoint. 

Jake was busy on his phone, looking for what I don't know. I just assumed him and focused on my food. Then an idea popped into my head. 

Why not ask for a phone? But how will I get a phone yet I don't have enough cash to buy one? Maybe he can buy me one.

I wanted to say it but he beat me up to it, "Diana, we need to talk."

He pushed his place to the side, folding his hands on the table he looked at me.

Me, ".......?"

.

Thanks for reading😍😍

Please give, share and comment.

Follow us on Instagram: coffee_ciggarette

Face book: coffee and cigarette.