The Red Flag

🥀Happy reading❤❤❤🌹

I don't know what to do. Run away and disappear the way Claire did? Confront Jake about this or what can I do. Tell me, what will you do? Escape and let the dust settle or face this headstrong. I am no one in front of him. I am just some bitch that he has already sold and now he can discard me to someone else. I don't know what to do.  Looking at my phone, I wanted to text the anonymous person but again, I decided against it. What was I going to explain to him? What am I even going to ask him? I want to believe that all this Jake said because he was intoxicated but I couldn't. The way he has been behaving was a red flag. I never questioned why he had to bring Ferm back, I never questioned anything when things were not right. I was too into him that I forgot what I was supposed to say. Am I a fool? I am stupid just like he said. I needed the education to figure things out and turns out I am so retard that I can't figure out that he was playing me all this time. Look at me, who knows for how long have they been fucking with Fern? Did he even care for Fern the way he said? He used to be on her side every day when I was against her coming back and now looks at me. I can't give Claire or Pete the 9-1-1 call because they will tell me how they tried to warn me about things but I was not paying any attention. What has Fern even told him? I don't know. Maybe I am here thinking that everything is okay but I have everything figured out wrong. I might think that I was strong but this situation tells me different. I am not the strong girl that I know. I am still weak, stupid and a coward. Changing my shape doesn't change the fact that I am still Diana who used to work in the dinner and was almost barbecued because I am some special girl. No. Tell me what can I do?

This question is running through my mind but I didn't even think I am doing anything. Look at me. I look pathetic at this time. I look like a girl who has been heartbroken by her man for the first time and wants her back by force so thinking of what I want to do is I don't know what to do. I didn't want to repeat anything in the video. All I wanted to do is run away from this place. Where to though? I am still here sitting in this seat which he occupied some hours during the day, still using his pen in my mouth trying to come up with ideas on what to do. 

I want to cry, shout at everyone and tell them how stupid they are but I am not going to do that. I don't want anyone to know what is happening. All I want to do is sleep and act like everything is okay. I want to shout at myself and beat myself up but I can't do that either. 

Maybe Jake was in my life for a reason. This well is a well learnt. This was the teaching, the biggest class that I have been into. Maybe I needed this to think straight about everything rather than just sitting here and loathe at how pathetic I am. Closing the laptop in front of me, I sent the video to my email to make sure that it was safe with me and that no one is going to access it. I didn't want anyone finding of it because I first had to make sure that it was authentic. If asked about confronting Jake, I don't know what I am going to tell him, don't know how I am going to shout at him for being a stupid asshole. I don't know how I am going to tell him that he broke my heart.

My heart was already broken a long time ago and there is nothing to cry about that. Remember when he almost left me to be sacrificed at the ceremony, I bet if not for Dominic, I would have forgotten history. Plus he used to get other girls even when we were together. Maybe I can blame myself for that. He's saying that I was too fat to fix doesn't make me feel better, it annoys the shit out of me and I feel like shooting a bullet in his head and scattering his brain. What even led me to think that he needed my attention. Maybe Edith was right, I shouldn't have accepted his gift in the first place, I should have discarded them and followed her. I let the books get into it my head. I thought that I will find my prince charming and a lady like me would be loved by a man like Jake. 

He still views me like some fat pig, I can't forget when he said that all he felt was sympathy for me. So he never felt anger or anything and he was just showing off and there was nothing to it. He just wanted to make me fall for him so that he can fuck me? Sometimes I feel like I would have just fallen for Bob and let him be the man who I know would go around advertising me to everyone. Look at me who told him that I was somebody's now looking all lost and depressed. Who is laughing now?

Maybe I am loathing too much. I don't want to think of any happy moment that we had together with him. To me, that moment doesn't exist. I am dead to him. I am a stupid asshole who doesn't deserve anything from him.  Maybe I should also delete every picture that we had together. That is the only thing that is going to help me. 

Picking my phone, I look at my Instagram account and nothing is making me happy about it. Everything is just rising my anger and the only thing that is going to help me is making sure that I don't see any bright of him again. I know deleting my Instagram account is going to be helpful. So let's do this quickly. I don't even need to delete his pictures. I only need to delete my Instagram account. That way I will be dead to him and he didn't have any problem with that.

Though I am still captivated with our pics, our moments. I can't believe that all this time, nothing was real to him. Nothing made sense to him at all. All this was just for show because I was supposed to be water and dumped into a bin. Let it go, let it go, there are no needs. 

My heart is shattering while deleting all this, I can't imagine that everything else is going down the drain. I delete my account from the phone. This is the first phone he gave me and it has never changed. I guarded it because it meant a lot to me. Right now, that doesn't make any sense to me. Making sure that there is nothing of mine, I take the phone back to the restore factory to make sure there is nothing that can be restored after this. He won't know that I have the video of him degrading and insulting me to his friends. He also won't know that I am gone. Placing the phone in front of me I do what I should have done a long time ago.

Checking the school fee structure for the university that I attended. Two million and some dollars on top don't threaten me. I quickly write a check for this and place it on the table. The laptop is the only thing that I ever bought with my own money. I pick my books from the shelf and leave the ones that I got there. Everything that I got was so important to me that I am not leaving it behind.  In total, I have two hundred and forty books. All these were both motivational and fictional stories that I loved to read.  They bore importance to me. I place them in my backpack and check to make sure that everything is left the way it was supposed to be. I dont want to pick what is not mine. Satisfied with the collections that I got, I gently walk to the bedroom and direct to my closet. Trying to check through, but there was nothing I can pick from there. All things were bought by him. I don't want to pick anything even if I bought it with my money. Looking at the dresses and suits looking at me, I know soon I will have to get myself a wardrobe and these are going to stay here. Maybe he can give them to Fern. Too bad she is not as bootilicious as I am. They will all stand on her body like a scarecrow. 

Stay safe my babies, if you are given to charity, make sure that you remember who wore you first, I will always love you and there is no day I will say anything different about you guys. For your shoes, you gave me the comfort that I always want. I was confident but right now, I have to let you go. I can't take you with me, but promise if I get your sister somewhere, I will tell them how amazing you were.

With that, I was done with everything. I walked to the bedroom. Jake was sprawled on the head. He didn't care that I was not next to him. Why do I even matter? It's not like I am a special lady that he loved. He fucked me in bed turned me over and over and then left me to be, nothing is amazing or romantic about that. It's time to accept that he doesn't love me and from his friends he never loved anyone. I feel like taking the cable beside the bed and strangling the shit out of his neck. What will that make me? The same as the person who drove a bullet to my parents' head? I don't want that to happen. I am not that angry, no, I need to calm down. One of us at least had to man up and leave in peace and honour. If I am going to kill him, let it be by my action. 

Moving out of the room, I gently went to Fern's room, opening her room, now maybe I need to kill her and bury her body deep into some hole where no one will ever find it. Why would he sleep with Jake and then act as if it was just a kinda normal day to her? She doesn't know that she did something very bad? Or am I the only one who always feels guilty when I have done something so bad?

Who will miss her anyway? His assholes of friends who don't even know how to love and left her for dead? I bet maybe Jake will still need to drill his asshole of a dick into her stupid vagina and be there like a mannequin trying to think of how to thrust it back. 

If I strangle her neck, then she will ve out of the picture. I might go back to Jame mad claim him as my own. What's even the need to fight for someone who doesn't love you? It is stupid and useless. I will have nothing to gain by her death. I will be a criminal and face jail

 Maybe kill them both, bury their bodies in a river. What evidence can be pinned against me

Okay, I forgot that I have this video and they might use it. I don't want to be under that scrutiny. I can't imagine the headlines of a news report. 

They will be much worse. Claire will hate me and even kill me. Dominic and Pete will never accept any of my apologies. I will be a stupid girl who lets feelings corner her and do bad. I don't want to be that girl. I need to walk out and that is what I am going to do. Let him be me.

Leaving her room, I head to the kitchen, I don't have any idea why I am going there but the only thing that I am seeing are knives and they are threatening. I don't want to miss anything but this thought keeps crawling back in my head, 'kill them and escape the mystery, if you go to another country, they will never get you. You will be a free person. Just pick the knife.'

I quickly threw that thought out of my mind and every time I decided to focus, the knife with a bloody tip was dancing on my face. 

No, I am not a murderer, I have never killed anything I even feared killing a chicken, why would I kill Jake and Fern? Simply because I am mad at them? No, I don't think that is okay. As much as she something bad to me my hands wi always remains as clean as ever

'Kill yourself then, look at you, no one loves you, they wanted to use you. Ferm is now enjoying what was yours and all you can think of is give them a chance to shout at you?'

Whatever was happening this night, I hope it better end up good because I ding want to be a victim here. I don't want to be drowned in this situation. As much as Jake hated I am not going to let those thoughts take advantage of me. I am better than this. I am stupid but not stupid enough to kill someone. Maybe I should just leave and let everything be. I dont see the need of being here, this is only causing me more trouble. Grabbing the backpack, I needed to leave this place very quickly. I didn't know why but I want to make sure that everything is okay.  I don't want to kill someone.

I walked out and looked at the place. The guards were busy with themselves. Some of them were shouting all over the place. I hoped they won't come around and try to let me be.

I didn't take a car because I had not bought any when living with Jake. He made sure I had bodyguards everywhere I go and I was driven rather than driving. Maybe that is going to change. Maybe I will have to get my car back and have a good life for myself. Probably I will get the double cabin that he thought aS dangerous for me and then a motorcycle.

I walked out to the lift and looked at the hallways for the last time. I loved the place. It was magical and I had learnt a lot. I would still remember holding baby Jade here when he tried to push all buttons so that we can stop on every floor. I am happy that I lived this life. 

   It all belonged to the US but one of Us was an Ass.