I am Sorry

🥀Happy reading 💓🌹

I am here literary trying everything to make sure that I give Dee all the space she needs in her life. I have tried all I can. I thought sending people to her will help her talk about it, I thought asking Pete or Dan to talk to her about her life is going to help her. None of that is helping. She is stubborn and doesn't want to listen to anything that is being said. How do you help somebody like that? It is hard to make her believe that all I want is to help her. All I want is to make sure that she is doing good and that nothing else is going to mess her up. I know Dee is not stupid to mess up her life and the past deed that happened was all because Fern trying to make sure that she defeats by all means. I mean, I would have also been afraid if someone was to make allegations about something that I didn't do in the past. The same things that he or she did and wants to blame all of it on me. That's what Fern did. 

Today, I am trying my best to make sure that Dee is still fine but I have to let her be what he needs to be, she doesn't need my help or my doubts to make sure that she is doing just fine. I know she can do anything that she wants to do with or without my help. 

"Sir, the weather is not good, I think we will have to stop somewhere for a minute before we go home."

I am from a meeting and the fact that I tried making a contact with Dee and it all failed, bothered me. She was stubborn plus she failed to come with her car. I don't know why she opted for a taxi to bring her to the meeting, something that she had never done. She is always with Dan by her side but this time round, she was all alone. Maybe Dan didn't tell her something that she wanted and decided to let him be instead of tagging along. 

I look around but it's dark with some minimal light all around. I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean the storm has been bad since last week and nothing about it has changed. The weather forecast is not showing any signs of it changing even a little.  Checking on my watch, it's all rainy and somehow, we are nearer but there is nothing we can do. 

Can't we try a bit faster, I know that we can make it to the house on time before this hail becomes serious. 

I don't want to stop anywhere and rest before heading to the house. Even though I hate the place because it's big and Dee doesn't want to come live with me because she still hates me. I have to learn how to live alone sometimes. Fern is not around and I don't want her cheating ass around my house again. She was aiming at the prize she got so bad but still doesn't make her happy. She still called my office and wants to meet me, something that I can't do with her. It's either she is going to shut up and make good use of the money she got or yet she is going to make sure she breaks another leg and puts Dee in all her mess. 

              "Okay sir, we are trying our best."

I know dating a person requires time and I have made a deal with myself to be considerate with whom I am dating. I have to make sure that I know them.  All things that they are doing. I know I won't find someone like Dee, I know finding a good lady with chubby cheeks and seriousness is hard but I am going to try my best. I don't know why I am obsessed with Dee's character but all I want is a lady like her. 

We passed by the road, at least the traffic light was making it easy for us to get through the storm and the little fog. 

We passed by the road with some car which had a puncture problem. I didn't want to imagine myself being in that situation. The man seemed to be doing fine with fixing the puncture while a lady was holding an umbrella for him to fix the tire. 

That is what we call, being there for each other. The lady might decide to hail another cab or just leave the man alone and go but she decided to help him fix the tire.  The traffic was giving us a headache because most vehicles were going slow. 

"Looks like a small accident had happened along the road we were heading and we might be late by some twenty seconds."

Nothing is special for me at home. It's either I am going to drown in my work or I am going to sleep straight or order something and invite my guards we share. Pete is off with Dominic and Claire. Mostly he works with them in their small company. I know they are trying their best to save the country. It gets lonely and there is nothing I can do to make things any better. I had to make sure that they both do what they love. They gave me the best bodyguards I can ask for and I can't complain. 

All these days, I have been looking for a way to make sure that I apologize to everyone. I was stupid, I can say I was naive, I think my ego was leading me, and didn't want to be bruised. I messed with Dee because of nothing and thought that it was good to go talk about her to my friends. I can't do that to Dee, she is more special than that. 

I feel the vibration on it won't stop, so remove it,  it's Fern calling. I don't want to receive her call for another millionth time. I let it ring and when it's done I place the phone back into my pocket. This time round it vibrates and I check the message. It's from Fern.

               'I am pregnant.'

Should I laugh? Or should I cry, I mean why is she telling me this? I know very well I can't father a child and my operation is underway in some two months' time. I am not stupid to admit that's my baby. She can as well be fucking a cook for all I care. I don't have any problem with that. 

I look at her text again, I am just there laughing because I can't imagine that she wants me to be responsible for something that is not mine. That is not my baby. 

                    'So what? How do you want me to help you?'

I reply waiting to hear how she wants to love the lie around it and tell me that the baby is mine. I know I will be laughing. I kind of know her little secret with Christopher and I know very well that kid might be Christopher's but not mine. The last time we fucked I don't remember not wearing rubber to protect myself. 

I hear the chine of the phone and look at it. 

'You have to take responsibility, I can't do this alone, baby, I am scared of the pregnancy, please. I know you don't want to see me anymore but can you please help me take care of it?'

Wow, as much as I have wanted to be a dad and it had been a big dream, I am not going to say, yes. If someone has been promiscuous, that's their problem, I am not going to be tied down to a role that I know very we don't concern me. I have other things to focus on, like making sure, I say sorry to Dee for what happened between us, hoping she is going to forgive me a little. 

I don't reply to her text, I close my phone as we enter the lonely house with lights all over the place. I have someone who makes sure my clothes are taken care of and my whole house is kept clean. Trust me, if Dee was around, she would do that by herself and give me a role. If it's my day to make the bed every morning, despite who is last to wake up, she will take care of the laundry and iron them later. The whole house cleaning was on us. She hated hiring someone to clean the house,e especially our room which was kept clean, spotlessly clean. Clothes in the closet and if you want to sign your death, try throwing clothes anyhow that won't be accepted. I have come to learn that, I do my bedroom on my own without help. For my clothes, they are done and I put them away. The guards around greet me as I walk into the house. I want to make sure I sleep in early as I am tired from the two-day event that took place non-stop. 

I am given the brief for the day and after it, I am off in the house. I give my driver and the bodyguards who accompanied me some time off to sleep because I know that they are tired. I have practiced some humanity, well Dee taught me a lot of it.  My supper is ready and I release my cook because I can do the rest on my own for the remaining part. Eating alone is stressful, I invite the driver for a bite and we share the meal. 

Finishing up, I see a guard waking in with his tablet showing me something. 

"There is a woman at the gate and she is asking if she can get it."

I grab the tablet annoyed because I know it's Fern wanting to start trouble, but too bad she doesn't know that I live here, then who can this be? 

Looking at the screen, I see a cab, Dee? What is she doing here? I thought she was going home or the cab guy couldn't make it. 

Open the gates quickly and make sure she is not drenched, she needs to be warm. 

I order my guards and put on a coat and wait for her at the door's entrance. She is put in another vehicle after paying the cab guy and brought in. I am anxious to meet her, The last time, our meeting didn't go well and it was all drama when she found out that I messed things up.

When she walks out of the car, she stands looking at me, I can't help but feel my heart beat heavily, I think I am going to burst in front of her. I can see her clothes are wet and her head is wet too even though she is under the umbrella. Wait, I think I saw these clothes when we were coming home, fuck, she was the one holding the light and umbrella for the cab guy to change the wheel but I didn't even remember to stop, why am I this stupid?

She is not moving from her point, instead, she is looking at me with her face all wet. Is she afraid of me? She doesn't need to be afraid of anything. I am the one who is supposed to be afraid of something.

She takes a step and I take another step, the second step and she stumbles off, almost falling but I am too quick to hold her before she falls. 

I've got you, you are okay, you can open your eyes now.

She quickly stares into my eyes, I can feel the piercing down in my heart, she is drenched, shaking like a frail bird on a twig.  

I scoop her and take her inside. I close the door after us. I want to ask her what happened but the way she is shaking is too much, she is afraid and her eyes seem to be red. 

I place her down on the sofa but this is not right, I quickly carry her to our room, everything I do is include her in the plan. I bought a big room because of her. I know she hates me but I want her here. 

I place her on the sofa in the room and rush to the bathroom to run her bath, removing my clothes, I am left with my boxers and vest. I make sure the water is warm and good for her. 

I scoop her and remove all her clothes without even thinking, it's not the time to admire her boobies which are always standing straight in front of me, she holds on to me as I place her in the tub. Gentlyhelpedg her shower and do everything. Once we are dining, I can see she is calm and doing better.

I carry her to the bed and roll her in The big towel before placing her down. I grab the huge sweatpants and some warm shirts and sweaters. All mine because her closet doesn't have any of those. She doesn't even have the sweatpants in her closet because she hates them.

I put her in them and she is warm, her eyes are turning back into their color.

I am going to get us food, be here in the bed, and don't move. 

She Stares at me without speaking.  Is she fine or has had been struck by thunder or something? I mean has been looking at me and giving me these weird stares.

I fetched the leftovers from the fridge and luckily get something worth eating g, I warm it quickly while preparing some hot coffee for her,  I know she will appreciate it very much.

Walking back into the room, I am not seeing her on the bed, I became worried because I left her here on the bed, I walk around called her name, and found her in the closet. Looking all around. 

                  Dee, are you okay?

"You haven't removed any of these, I still remember where I left the heels, the sports shoes, the clothes. Too bad I can't remember the house but I can remember how my clothes were, yours are still the same too. Nothing is moved and they are in the same order."

Is she's talking about the closet at this point when I want her to be eating and staring at me?

"Why didn't you remove them? I thought you were disgusted by me. I mean I did you wrong at some point"

I know she wronged me, but that doesn't mean that I was mad at her, I know I was the big motherfucking liar and she is a good person. I don't need to be an asshole.

I hoped one day you will look back and see what we had Dee, I prayed for a day you will finally look back and see that we had a very special thing apart from hating each other, you are special and at the same time important to me, Hun.

She suddenly looked away from the clothes and stared into my eyes. The same piercings stare was visible and I could see them.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, forgive me for not seeing that, I know didn't remember much, the only thing that was dancing in my head was how you cheated on me nut, never for once have I remembered the good moments that we shared. I mean what an asshole am I, Jake?"

Shit, this is not what I wanted, she was supposed to be happy that she is here. 

I move to her and hold her tightly, she doesn't need to be this sad and crying. 

Shhh, it's okay Dee, you are with me, that's that matters. 

              "I am sorry,