I am Afraid......

The team looked at Jake and widened their eyes while looking at him. They couldn't believe that all this along it was a baby trying to play tricks on them. They congratulated him and walked along to look at Dee who was still sleeping and had not woken yet.

Jake dragged Dominic aside.

"Dude, how did you feel the first day? I know you were excited. I am too.  Is it weird that I want her to myself right now? I just want to hug her, cuddle with her to make sure she is doing okay and nothing bad is happening to her you know."

Dominic looked at him and laughed. Jake was excited and everyone could see him walking closer to Dee and looking at her. If her chest was not rising up and down even for a second, he would shout and say she has stopped breathing. The excitement made him want to stay closer to Dee the whole time and everyone understood him. They couldn't interfere with anything because Jake didn't allow them to touch her after they were done looking at her. 

Dee opened her eyes and saw Jake sitting beside her. She raised her brows and tried to catch a glimpse of what happened before they arrived at this point. 

              "You are awake?"

Jake looked at her but didn't tell her that she is pregnant. He was cautious with what he told her from now onwards. He was looking for a way in which he is going to relay the information to her not shout at her. He felt sorry for getting mad yesterday because she was sleeping. He wanted to make sure that her first time is amazing and memorable. 

"How are you feeling hun, do you want anything, and I mean anything, just mention it and I will get it to you."

Dee was confused while looking at Jake who was all over the place. She had not opened her mouth yet to say anything. She wanted to slap his face and just go back to sleep but had to confirm first that she is okay.

"What did they say is wrong with me, I think I am having a lot of these headaches and dizziness and I need to know what is going on with my body. I think I have a problem. Do you know that I drank a glass of juice without pausing or even without breathing in or out?"

Jake looked at her and smiled. Je knew that was the baby and it probably wanted more food that early morning. he calmly held her hands and kissed them while smiling.

When Jake didn't raise his brows and give Dee a weird look. She was suspicious. The man she knew would be arguing and trying to get her to stop it but now he knew was busy looking at her as if that was the funniest news he has heard her talk about.

She wanted to open her mouth and talk to him but the doctor with slim glasses and a round belly walked in surprising Dee. He flipped the papers back and forth while looking between Jake and Dee.

"Looks like our expectant friend is now up, can we have a round of applause for her?"

Dee was shocked, she didn't understand what was being said now. Sje quickly stood up and looked at Jake shaking him. Jake placed her to lay back gently. 

The Doctor showed them the result and Dee we surprised when she saw that she was pregnant.

"Are you sure about this? I mean I have been having some mild life crisis and I need to get this out of the way. Not abort it, no, lawd. I need to know if you've got my back, okay?"

Jake held Dee's hands and caressed them gently while looking at her. He understood Dee was scared of something. She was afraid that she was finally pregnant though its something that they have been wanting and at the same time it was her first time. She didn't know how to react to the news. She was just there, motionless, and can't do anything about it.

"Baby, it's okay,  am with you, you don't need to be afraid of anything. We will follow the instructions and we will do everything that we are supposed to do."

Dee looked at him, he is the love of her life and she wondered whether he was ready to be a father. The excitement on his face said it all but Dee was not sure. 

She smiled at Jake and went ahead to listen to the doctor dictate a lot of instructions and them. 

"Reduce your protein intake, drink a lot of water, and always be near an emergency phone. This will make it easy for you to access the medical facilities and you can be brought in easily."

Jake nodded while smiling at Dee who also smiled back but it didn't reach her eyes. 

When the doctor was done, Jake and Dee were left alone. Jake excitedly hold and hugged Dee who was trying to sleep and close her eyes but Jake was there to make them open.

"Come on hun, please don't sleep, we are having a celebration. This is what we have been praying for, we have been wanting this like for ages and finally, here it is. I am sorry for shouting at you and thinking that you were acting lazy because of sleeping. I love you okay?"

Dee nodded while Jake was all over the place, he placed both of their hands on her belly and started moving round and round the belly. 

"Grow faster you little champ, mum and Dad are here waiting for you. We love you very much kiddo."

It seems Dee wasn't excited about the whole pregnancy thing. She was surprised at how Jake was excited and felt like he was going to jump up and down any second. She watched the way he would admire and kiss her belly every time to make sure that nothing is happening to it. She didn't want anyone to touch it. 

It was not until later that Jade was brought to the hospital to see his aunt who he hasn't seen for a month. Dee was excited to see him and stretched her hands to hold him. Je was huge now and more handsome like his dad. He had this long hair and was neatly tied up in a bun.

           "Hello aunty, is everything okay?"

Dee smiled at Jake and hugged him tightly. She found solace in the kid than in Jake who was jumping up and down showing his excitement. 

"I am fine baby, how have you been? Did you get my little present?"

Jade pecked her cheeks and nodded while smiling. Then he saw Jake focused on Dee's belly and was surprised looking at him. He looked at Dee who was sitting all calmly and he didn't understand why she was okay while Jake was on her belly.

"Why is uncle Jake on your stomach like that? He will break it and it will burst like the story my teacher told me in class."

Dee laughed and told him it was okay. She was later discharged from the hospital and Jake had to carry her like a princess walking with her out of the room. 

"You know I can walk, right? I have two legs, and hands and I can see where I am going very well without help, right?"

Jake was not heeding any of her words. All he was doing was carrying her to the car and placing her nicely behind the car. They bid Jade goodbye because tomorrow was his school day and he couldn't miss it. 

"Please, bring him over after school, I would use extra help."

Dee said to Claire and Dominic before Jake instructed the driver to take them back home. 

Dee felt discomfort and she felt like she was about to vomit, Jake was keen and asked the driver to stop the car.  

She was given a paper bag and she vomited her guts out before it was thrown out through the window. 

                         "Are you feeling better now?"

Dee nodded. She was getting a lot of attention which was unnecessary today. She just wanted her Jake back not the one who is going to make sure she breathes two times faster and if she tries to doze off he is worried that maybe the baby is not doing well. 

"You want anything what do you want to eat, Do you want sushi, noodles, or do you want to eat fried chicken? Remember the doctor said no more fats or a lot of proteins and you won't be having too much caffeine because it will make the baby a drug addict. Secondly please, if you need anything, tell me okay?"

Dee was now tired and she wanted to sleep. She didn't want a lot of words in her ears, she wanted someone to tell her something that she can understand or something that she can relate to. She didn't want someone explaining to her that she didn't need to take too much caffeine, she can't even drink a little bit of champagne because it was going to damage the baby.  

She was tired of all the instructions from the doctors, she was tired of Jake trying to be so dictating and the way he was very excited with the news. 

She didn't know what being a better mother entails. She didn't have one and she feared she will end up messing this whole shit. Every step she tried to take didn't give her a slight idea. 

She loved coffee and being told not to take coffee was like being told she can't breathe. She knows Claire tried her best and they brought Jade up properly without any problem. They have molded him up and now he is going to kindergarten without any problem. She was concerned about what the kid in her belly is going to look like. Will the baby be excited to be put here or the baby will be in chaos? She was having a second opinion about the baby and it hurt her. 

"Jake, do you think we are ready to be parents to the baby?"

Jake looked at her and raised his brows at her. He found it hard to believe that, Dee, the person who was up for the idea wanted to think of something else.

"Please, I hope it's not what I am thinking of, I hope you are not trying to get an abortion hun, and leave me here. Dee, we promised each other till death do us part but this is not death. We are having a baby  and we need to give the baby a chance to live and see life the way it was."

Jake was trying to talk sense into her head but Dee's head had a lot of things. It had a lot of things going on. They arrived home and Dee was the first to jump out of the car. She run into the room and left Jake behind. Jake wa trying to call her name but she didn't look behind, she wanted to go in and be by herself.

"Shit, what's wrong with her now? I thought she was excited in the hospital about this, what changed? Maybe she is not ready, maybe am pushing him too far, but why can't she just speak to me?"

He arrived in their bedroom but Dee was out of sight, he tried the bathroom door and realise that it was closed. dee was in there, hiding, and couldn't get out. She was crying with the door closed. 

"Dee baby, listen to me, if you don't want the baby then we can look for another alternative. I don't know what has gotten into you but I can't let this go. I won't force you to carry my child if you don't want to.  We can remove the baby's growth and put him or her under the strict conditions of a nursery where we can monitor the growth keenly.

Dee was crying on the other side, it was not about not wanting to keep the baby,  there were an of things going on in her mind that she was afraid of.

"I want the baby, I want the baby so much but I am afraid, I am afraid of everything. I am afraid of giving you an incomplete child. Do you remember the autopsy result of my parents and then my incomplete brother? I don't know if my body is going to mess me up. I don't know if the baby is going to cry, will I throw him or her down and slap her, or I will calm her down? I am afraid that I will not be a good mother to the baby. Maybe I will be Mrs. Kings who hates children, I don't know Jake. All those fears are dancing g on my face and they are threatening to weigh me down. I can see fate laughing at me and I don't know if I will make it. I don't want the baby to grow somewhere else, I am okay if it grows in my belly. We have always wanted one, remember, and that is what I want but I can feel fate laughing at me on my face."

Jake sat at the door while Dee was on the other side.  He didn't realize Dee had those deep thoughts.  The thought of failing, the thought of not being enough for the baby. He had no thought of that. Now he understood why she was worried about everything. Someone messed her up and now they want to mess with her, now that she is pregnant. He didn't want this to end like that. 

Jake has seen how Dee cares for Jade. She has helped Claire now and then even when Jade was young and Claire couldn't do anything right. Dee was there to make sure that everything is done according to perfection. Today it's her day, and everything is making her feel less of who she is, she can't be brave enough to do everything that she's supposed to do. She is afraid that she might walk the same road as her mother. 

"You don't have to fear that. The Mother I saw in Dee can't do such a thing. The mother in Dee didn't let fate take over when she was with Jade, the mother in Dee was happy, more peaceful, and very organized than Claire herself. I know the mother in Dee is strong-minded ad can't do anything bad. I am also new to this, I dont know how to be a father but we can take some lessons and make sure that we turn everything around for us hun. Believe me, you are wrong and very capable of doing this. Please open the door, I want to make sure I m talking to my favorite person."

Dee slowly opened the door and Jake was sitting there, he was waiting for her. She cried seeing Jake sitting down there waiting for her. He was defeated and at the same time, he wanted to see her. 

Jake stood and held her hands. 

"We won't let anything happen to our baby, will make sure that they are raised with love from us an even if it means early retirement to-do anything for the baby, so help me Lord, I will do that. I love you, Diana, you are my reason for living.