Did She Bang You Too?

🥀@Brenda Nancy, lots of love❤🌹

I didn't know what to tell him, should I say I am fine really? I am not fine and I am not. As much as I want to lie that I am fine, I am doing terrible bad. I am trying to convince people that everything is okay but it's not. Will I be wrong to say that maybe I miss my friends so much? It won't hurt to just say the truth about it. Though that can't be done right now. All that I can do right now is say that I am fine and let it be. All that story of not being fine is not healthy for us. So I smile, curve my lips and look at him with my fake radiant face.

I am doing fine Dominic, how about you? Are you okay?

I know he is not going okay. Claire is maybe frustrated and might have channelled her frustrations to him which makes things more difficult. Saying that he is okay is not true, but who cares, we all pretend right?

He looks at me and then at his son who is now busy being disciplined in the chair. It's like he is in some important conversation and wants to maintain silence and confidence.  I look at Jade too and he looks back at me smiling. What can I do but smile back at this little charming prince? 

"Dee, can we be honest here? I know you are not okay and this is just killing me that you are pretending to get me off your way. Tell me the truth, are you okay? You look different, I mean you have shaved all that bouncy blonde hair and now you have a different look and it makes me fear that you are not doing that well with everything. So I am going to ask this again, are you okay?"

What's the point,? Even if I tell him that I am doing okay or doing bad, he will not hear about it. He will just ignore it and think that I am desperate. Right now I am not in for desperate measures, I am going to just pretend I am okay to get him off just like he has said. There is no need to say what I feel. Though he has never shown that he doesn't want me the way the other people have shown, I still can't say how I feel. He knows I a not good and that is the truth, I am not okay with anything at all. Does it matter though? No!

Seriously, I'm doing okay, I just had a little accident and couldn't keep the hair with me because a big part of it is hard to be shaved down. So don't worry about it.  How is everything going?

He smiled, looking at me then looked at the palm of his hands. 

"I will be lying to say I am okay. Claire is not okay, she is goofy but we all know Claire, won't be there for long. It's just for a short period and then she will be all smiling again, right now, I don't need to tell you about that, she made you also have the problems that you need to work on and not my problems."

No, not really, I know I am the root of all these problems, I know I need to be called all named and you have the right to be mad at me, Dominic. I am sorry for what happened and I swear if I had the power, I could have gone back and undid everything. I didn't want anything to go bad the way it is now. I have been thinking of every way possible way I can change things, that I can show Claire, the person in that video is not me but I haven't found it yet. If I am successful, I promise I will do everything possible to come clean and re-write the wrongs.

Dominic cleared his throat and Dan brought in some coffee for both of us. Jade was excluded because he was still young for the coffee. 

               "Thanks, Dan."

Dan just looked at him but I had to give him a warming look because it was not right to do that. Right now I was trying to straighten things with everyone and if he starts being goofy with Dominic, that's going to make everything worse. I don't want any of that. The hate that I have on my back is enough I don't want more added to it.

"Dee, I know very well you are not the one to be blamed. I am an investigator, I will be lying if I say that you are the person behind everything. I am trying to come up with concrete evidence to show that you are not the one to blame. I don't want you to feel responsible for something that happens. I know sometimes people slip but I know you are not that stupid enough to wear some booty shorts to a party and you know the way the media is a frenzy about the picture you display."

I had to nod to his idea, and for once I gave him genuine smile. He is right. All these were being shown wrongly and I was happy that he was reconsidering changing everything. Is he here to help me catch the thief or he is here to kill me with a lie and then make everyone hate me. Is he here to make me say that I was at that party and then lie that he is going to show me that he will work in it and capture everyone responsible for everything. I don't want to raise my hopes. 

As much as I want to look like this tough lady right now, every small truth is breaking me down and is making me believe everything around me. I know it will be so stupid to believe him, what's the need to believe him yet we all know very well things might go south at any time. Maybe we pretend that I am also interested to see what will happen.

Dominic, I know very well that I didn't do that. I don't need to prove that though, that's what I feel sometimes. Look at how everybody is mad at me, look at how Claire threw me down to the floor and punched me so hard pulling my hair away. Look at the man whom I once loved who mistreat me in every way, I know I am not worth the stupid, I am not worth the apology but I am still saying sorry to the people whom I hurt because I know how big their life is than mine. Even if you want to help, I know that is not necessary, okay, I don't want Claire to be mad at you for doing something. You deserve to be with her and console her in every way. Please, go home.

He looked at me and his demeanour changed all of a sudden. His eyes were hooded and it's like he got mad all of a sudden. What did I do now?

"Dee, are you going to allow people to treat you like shit every time? Do you enjoy the kind of treatment you were given? I know Claire is my wife but she was not supposed to treat you the way she did!"

But what did you do? What did you do Dominic, I am here all day but I haven't seen you come for about three days, now you are here telling me I didn't deserve that from her and how she did a wrong thing? Give me a break Dominic! As much as I am so young, naive and non-violent doesn't mean that I enjoy some pitty, so if you are here to start pitying me, excuse me and get out, maybe I might as well be alone and enjoy my loneliness than be next to you and show me your pitty by giving your stupid self excuses!

I was angered, he can't start telling me how Claire was stupid and did a very unthinkable thing. Maybe he could have confronted her the same day she did that. Instead, I was forced to say 'sorry' for something u didn't even do. The sorry that I vomited by force out of my mouth to give them, it's because they wanted it from me by force!

"Dee, come on, you know Claire wouldn't accept that she is wrong! I know her, she thought that she was right at that point. The frustration all fell on her and she went nuts trying to think that you are messing everything up for her. That shelter has been her dream ever since, seeing everything going down the drain just pained her Dee, try to understand."

I looked at Jade who was now sad on his chair. I didn't want to shout any further, it will upset him and make him cry, something that I didn't want. I called Andreas in case he was still around to come to pick him up. This needed us to shout at each other properly to get some sense into Dominic's brain. So protecting his wife was more important than my hair that was pulled down like some mere grass?

"Come, baby, uncle has some lollipop for you."

First Jade was hesitant but later, he stood up and I told him it was okay. Leaving Dominic and me alone. Now I can start my shouting, then he can as well go back and tell his wife how immature and angry I am and she can come back and pull the skin out of my bald hair for all I care!

Dominic, listen to me and listen very clearly, I am not here for some stupid talks because what I think you are trying to say is you can't correct your wife when she is wrong. That is so stupid,  I mean, who can't tell her when she is wrong? That night you let her say all things to me, I was beaten up, Dominic. So tell me, was I the punch bag where she channelled her frustrations? Psst, give me a break!

Did you know that I also wanted to be part of this? I had this dream ever since I was young and looking at you throw an accusing finger and protecting your wife doesn't make sense at all. You can as well tell her that because I don't care Dominic. I know I will find the truth on my own and I don't need your help. If both of you are serious investigators, maybe that night you could have talked to me and asked me how that happened. Have you ever talked to Bob in the first place?

I watched as he lowered his head down and look at the coffee in his hands. I didn't need him to say no. His actions gave me the big no that I have been waiting for. What type of people are these? So they think I am this stupid to just accept their words like the stupid girl I am?

"If I tell you that Claire was later mad at herself for doing that and she still is, will you be happy? She has been beating himself for the hurtful words she said and the actions."

Nice lie Dominic, wasn't that the same girl who abused me over the phone when Jake came here to pick Jade? Well, I am just impressed with how you can take a bullet for your wife, ooh, I wish I had my other half who can also take a bullet for me so that he can die for me, stupid, don't you think? Maybe, Claire, next time should try and contain her anger, she should be known that it's not healthy to start throwing accusations at everyone for nothing. She is happy that I didn't press this matter any further, oh, who am fooling? I can't get the win that I want because I am a nobody, I didn't have a man who has long hands the way you do and I guess my case could have gone down the drain, ha!

That's the truth, I know they would have made my case go down the drain and claimed that I am there just to get money for the compensation. Maybe that's right, get money and save yourself from all this drama.

       "You are not going to forgive her, aren't you?"

Dominic stops thinking that you are the only one having problems here, don't blame me for being so stupid and naive, maybe I am not right? Maybe it's my right to know why she launched at me, I have the strings from the stitches on my lower lips, can you see them, this makes it hard for me to take my meals normally, I have to use a straw,  my body is all black dots I look like a polka clothe and nothing can be said about that, right? 

Dominic closed his eyes with his hands, breathing in and out before looking at me. I know I was being insensitive but what could I do, I mean everyone is against me for something that I didn't even do. That I know very well and they want me to feel bad about it. Have they even felt bad for what happened to me? Well that's none of their problems but mine to deal with. Fuck them!

The room was once again quiet and no one was saying anything. Everyone was looking at the blank wall with paintings on it. Dominic is busy sipping his drink, for me, I am doing well taking my coffee with the straw, the strings will be done by tomorrow so that I can take my tea normally which will be an excitement for me. Not that I am complaining about anything, I am happy that instil ha my life in front of me and everything is going totally fine, I don't have to fear anything. Everything is just fine.

"I am sorry Dee, I am sorry that we didn't even look at it that way, I am sorry that you got accused for everything that happened. I don't want to say that Claire did this or that because I haven't walked in your shoes to say how sorry I am. I know how you work hard every day to make sure that you have cleaned your name but that has been ruined by some small things like the fight. You are great Dee and you deserve to be happy, maybe you are right, I will teach Claire about her anger management, and it will lead us to big problems if she doesn't manage it. You didn't need to apologise, we were supposed to apologise and when I feel like Claire is ready to tell you how sorry she is, we will come, right now I am sorry but she is wrapped in the shelter and her son whom she wants to see today. We will bring him maybe when the weekends because I know you will miss him too."

Though I don't feel any remorse in his apology, I just want things to be done. At least he is going to work with Claire on her issues and that makes things much better.

"Though I am still looking for the answers, I won't stop about it."

           Whatever Dominic, do your best.

"Diana, we need to talk!"

Dominic and I looked out at the door, away from our cups and there stood John, all distraught. What the hell is John doing in my office? I have never even told him where I am? Please don't tell me this is about me being a whore and showing off their house to the public. 

"Sorry Boss, I tried to tell him he couldn't enter but he still did it anyway."

It's okay Dan, we will take it from here.  

Dan was excused and Dominic was still staring at me. I wanted to tell him to get going but he doesn't need to go, whatever he wants to speak about is nothing important if not about the video that leaked from his house.

"You know what Diana, I can't move on with this, I am just tired I am tired of everything. I am tired of what is happening and I want to tell everyone the truth!"

"What now, did she bang you too, because your accusations are starting to annoy the hell out of me!"

         Dominic, what the fuck man?