1. Angel Eyes.

We were only in Arizona for the next day, and then we left for Boston. The Boston house was a grey-plastered building that was very modern inside. Steel, glass, black and white. It wasn't homey like Arizona, but I started inventing little things to make my nest.

But it had very comfortable sofas and armchairs, and of course, my room was pink, purple, and apricot, now in pastel shades, and there were the lovely, long, fluffy rugs again. My clothes had been changed. Apparently, even Adam now knew my size, but it didn't matter. At least he had bought more pants for me than Salvatore.

Samuel was busy there, but on the first day, he gave me Damon's bone marrow that he had collected, and Samuel told me that Damon and I were each other's biological halves in both human and wolf form.

He said, "This won't take long; I'll give you this at night when you sleep so you don't get any trauma, but this should theoretically get you a functioning immune system."

I wondered in my mind if Damon would ever come back. Maybe we were each other's biological halves, whatever that meant, but it meant nothing special in reality. 

Samuel said as he left, "Let me know if you have any symptoms. I probably won't be back for a month, and it may take longer. We'll see if that helps."

I replied, "Yeah, yeah, I'll let you know if anything strange comes up; good luck getting your clinics in order." 

He nodded and said, "Yeah, here goes what goes, and I know you might need the company of the pack, but I need to get the major crises out of the way first. "

I nodded and said, "I'm fine, no need to worry. Everything's fine."

Then Samuel left. I was going to be alone because Adam had a security conference or something in Boston and I had the familiar bodyguards again, but this time they were werewolves. I got through it. I learned how to do my make-up using the internet, and Adam had already ordered me some make-up and told me to get some more if I wanted, and money didn't matter because he had money. 

Adam was away for days, too, so Mercy came to keep me company, and we talked about boys and baked and cooked. She also taught me more about makeup and putting my hair up in a few new ways. It was fun to order makeup sets, hair products, and all girly stuff that I had not much used. It was something that Adam did not like, not at all, but he had no say, as it was decided by higher powers. 

I told Mercy about Damon, and she said, "Me and Adam, well, we had a spark and a good one, but that didn't mean I couldn't mess things up and a good one. We had a love story of a century, not that long, but I mean epic. So Adam besieged me for many years and lived next door to me; that bit from the books hit the spot, but I'm not a car mechanic, not even close. Nor do I like Volkswagens. We had our moments, we had our trips, and then we also had our crises, and we both made mistakes. I'm trying to say that even the best relationship can take a knock, and a hard one at that. Love is a fierce force, but when that same force tears you apart, it's slow to recover. "

I said, "I don't know what's between me and Damon yet, how I even feel about myself. I need to learn to see myself as a woman, but I'm so damn new at this whole thing, and I don't feel like a woman yet, so that takes time too. Then the whole physical side of it, oh my god, the feelings Damon made me have, and my body reacted to him in a whole new way, and now I'm not sure if I'm going to react to other men the same way at some point."

Mercy said to me, "Say little about what we talk about or do here to Adam. I know it is still painful for him to see me, and believe it or not, we had our own problems and big ones. Let's just say Bran came between us, werewolf crisis and all. As I said, emotions can be an asset, but they can tear you apart."

Mercy sighed and went on with her story. She sat next to me, looking at the floor. She had this glow, a kind of halo almost, telling her otherworldly status.

"I died in a nasty car accident when I was leaving Adam; yes, I had just written him a letter, got a divorce, the papers were on the table, and I was on my way somewhere else, my vampire friend, my lover when a big truck with a drunk driver crashed into my car and I died but not immediately."

Her voice was pained, distant as she lived that memory. There was genuine regret in her voice, but her choices had led her there and the past was one thing that you can't change. 

"Adam got there, and I died in his arms; I still felt his love, and somehow, I didn't have the heart to leave him, so when I got the chance, I moved on to the next level. To watch and help him if I ever could. I knew our story was over, but Adam had to move on. And you are part of Adam's life, so don't worry about your feelings for Adam. They are not wrong, not at any point."

She looked at me long before still talking. Her voice was softer, like she was trying to prepare me for my destiny.

"You will one day become Chaos. You have the power of Chaos and everything that goes with it. It's lonely being Chaos, as you'll find out, no matter how many people are around you. I don't know if we are created to be alone, by ourselves, or if it is just our nature."

I was wondering if I already was partially chaos. Her voice was steady.

"You will always be the one who doesn't fit in, but that doesn't mean you can't have some important people in your life. Remember, sometimes enemies can become allies, but you need to be ready to guide them. But don't talk to Adam about me. I don't want to see him suffer so much." 

I said, "So wow, I didn't know, and yeah, I won't talk to Adam; I have noticed that he still feels so much for you. I'm just going with the flow and trying to take it day by day and see where it goes and what happens."

Mercy smiled, and then she just disappeared, returning to where she had come from.

 I didn't go shopping even though I had werewolf bodyguards, not when I ordered online and started redecorating the house. I ordered decorative pillows, another kind of rug, and curtains, and then these bodyguards wouldn't let me climb up to put up the curtains when they hung them. Read. Cooked. But I didn't make that fish soup because it wasn't good for me. Instead, I ordered a lot of different meats and spices online. I planned to make experimental recipes.

Time passed, and the days followed each other as I was mostly by myself, decorating. I slept alone if Adam could get me to sleep at night, but there were nights when I didn't sleep; I just said nothing to Adam about it when he had to stay out sometimes. And then he might come to the house in the morning smelling of some woman's perfume, but I didn't mind.

I didn't ask questions or be jealous. Samuel came by after a month and quickly turned up at the house and asked," Mimi, did you have any symptoms from the bone marrow transplant? I haven't had time to take blood tests yet, but you've got better,"

I said, "I have had no symptoms from it. I'm fine and getting better. I have used the gym, trying to keep up my fitness."

I used the gym daily, trying to keep up my skills and use the bag and stuff to learn my kicks and hits, too. My rage flared up here and there, especially went I got properly in a fighting mood. It was still a work in progress to get my rage fully under control.

Samuel nodded and smiled, then went to talk to Adam for a moment before leaving again. I could only hear talk that Bran had done something again to keep Samuel busy, 'lust crises' in the herds. I didn't even want to think about what they might be. Adam concentrated on his work; he was in the office or absent altogether; if he was there, he was busy talking on the phone.

Well, I did all right. I learned to be myself again and do what I wanted. I used the spa several times a week as the spa department was yellow and white, with tiled floors and a lovely big sauna, pool, and many tubs; I discovered the wonderfulness of the jacuzzis and enjoyed being in them by myself.

Then I read that there was an excellent selection of medical books here, too, and it's good to have a photographic memory so you learn everything pretty quickly. Somewhere in between, I went clothes shopping. Now that I knew my size a bit, I got some nice clothes for myself. Comfort first was my goal. I baked and cooked. I learned to be again on my own and I had my way of living and when to make food or shopping, my timetable. 

We were now in Michigan when Adam's project brought us here, and I realized my birthday was and went a long time ago. Damon had been gone for six weeks, and I'd got myself together, so I didn't think about him all the time; I was almost convinced he wasn't coming back, and I wore that shirt, anyway. I kept it with me, and often at night when I was reading, I put it on; I wore it as my nightie. But I didn't let any of the feelings come through. I didn't miss or remember all the time.

I just moved on. Life was good. I got to decide what I ate when I ate and when I went to bed, except I didn't sleep, but I discovered I didn't need sleep. I could spend the entire night surfing the net when I started researching something or shopping for something. I watched make-up videos and decorating sites and started thinking about what I actually wanted to do.

Whether there was a job I could do, not for the money, but just for fun. I was learning to be more independent and grow up; it was an enjoyable time, and I didn't mind being alone. If Adam was home, he could work all night and not even wonder if I needed protection.

And oh, how we enjoyed a full moon with Mimosa in the woods; we would hunt and eat, run and even swim in streams or mud ponds, and then we would have to sneak in so Adam wouldn't notice our muddy existence. Hunting was something I wanted to do, and a lot of it. My rage was still there, my need to hunt. A side of me that scared me quite freaking much. I felt sometimes like a monster, but I did not tell anyone about it. My thoughts. I just put up my appearance of being a perfect little Mimi with minimal problems.

Then we moved to Maryland a few weeks later, and at this point, Damon had been gone for over ten weeks. But I didn't miss; I remembered everything. I had a photographic memory, but as I grew as a being, person, and woman.

And I started to get myself to my top weight, a whopping 59 kilos, and it showed that at least I had some shape. I had hips, and my breasts were a little bigger. But not that Samuel wasn't there and Adam was away or absent. So, I got to enjoy myself on my own. 

Nick called me one day. I had got my phone, and he just said that the reward was not a rumor, but true. He was quite worried and his voice was tenser than normal. I had this knack for reading people and hearing nuances in voices and stuff. I presumed it was with all the werewolves. To be living lie detectors.

" Mimi, Salvatore is not watching you right now, and these are, let's say, not-so-nice guys. When did you say Adam was coming back? I should probably call him about this, too. "

I said, " Adam is busy. I don't know if he has time to answer you when his ex-pack has some crisis, Ben has disappeared, or something, and then Bran is pushing him around. He has his own business, so he is busy, and Samuel is probably in China at the moment, Doctors Without Borders and some mystery epidemic. But don't worry, I always have two werewolves as bodyguards. Well, I have to be careful; thanks for the warning, and let me know if you find out anything else."

I hung up and said nothing to Adam. I wanted my freedom. I had my bodyguards and I would be perfectly safe. I was arrogant and reckless as well, stubborn and not really responsible.

 I was having dinner when Adam came in to eat and said, " How's it been? Anything new? Anything that I need to know?"

I looked innocently at Adam and said, "It's been great; I've got no problems. I think I'm going to do a bit of shopping tomorrow and look at some new jackets." My voice was calm, and I did not tell him about Nick's phone call. There was nothing to worry about.

Adam smiled and grunted, grabbed some food, and went to eat while I was already eating myself. We ate, and Adam's phone beeped several times during the meal. It was Bran, and Adam cursed to himself, ate quickly, and strolled towards his office, already talking to Bran on the phone.

I also ate dessert, and tomorrow I will go shopping for clothes and some decorative items. The rest of the day went well, and I noticed Damon had been gone for three months. It would soon be December, and I wasn't sure if Adam was even celebrating Christmas. I wasn't in the Christmas mood yet either, but that could change if I went to the shops where there were many Christmas decorations.

The next day, I didn't sleep at night again; I had breakfast, and Peter and Jacob, my bodyguards, were ready to take me to one of the big shopping centers to do some shopping. I had ordered some velour pajamas, and lounging clothes and I was thinking of getting some Angora undershirts as well, to keep me warm.

The drive went well; I looked at my phone and checked everything. I never talked to them as they weren't very talkative except to talk about a sports match. We arrived at the mall, and they were following me. They were not as careful as Damon. They were talking to each other, waiting outside of the shops, sitting by some benches. They were sure that they could smell trouble if there would be one. I went through several shops and was in one lovely shop looking at leather jackets with fringe on them when suddenly, I just felt a white-hot pain in my head and then nothing.