The End is The Beginning

It was the coldest I'd felt in ages, and there was an aching heaviness in my head that I simply couldn't seem to shake off no matter how much I walked. I don't know when, how, or why I was walking through the snow towards the top of some hill I didn't even know.

For that matter, I didn't remember who I was, how I'd gotten there, or where I was going.

And just like that, before I knew it, I had collapsed in a den of wolves. Luckily, it looked abandoned, so I didn't get eaten off right away. I figured it'd be a long, slow death. I found the idea of such a gentle death appealing, despite the fact that I was walking mindlessly just seconds ago.

I must have passed out, for when I came to, I was stiff as a rock. And yet, I wasn't that cold anymore. I lifted my head to find myself covered in a bear pelt. Someone had been so kind as to cover me up. And yet, the pelt was rather old and shoddy. Who cared as long as it could keep me warm?

I stood up, looking around, getting accustomed to my surroundings. Just then, I heard a little whimper from a corner. I quickly turned around to find a snow white wolf resting there. I watched it, agape.

"Did you put this on me?", I asked, as if he could speak.

The wolf got up and walked over to me, sniffing me and the pelt, and licked my frozen feet. I petted it's fur.

"Thank you, Nasty", I muttered without even knowing why.

It even shocked me to hear those words, and yet they seemed so familiar that I didn't tire my head over their significance.

I laid back down, and the wolf scooped in close to me. This time, I slept in peace.

It wasn't long before I'd made a home out of that den. And the wolf had become my brother. I called him Nasty. And though we didn't talk much, we spent our days living together. There were plenty of places to hunt and fish. I made a decent overcoat out of the bear pelt. Even in the piercing cold, I liked our life together.

It must have been a year at least, or perhaps two, when it finally dawned on me that time was passing. I had grown a beard, which I very painfully shaved with a sharp stone near the fish pond. Something gave me the idea of covering my face that day.

I had the chance to see some patrols, and my first step was to hide instinctively. Although the patrols seemed harmless enough, I was made to realize that there was a world beyond me, Nasty, and our little den. From then on, I covered myself so that no limb or skin was visible anymore. No matter what happened, I didn't want to get caught by the patrols.

It was on just such days that one morning, when I had slept in, I was late going to the fishpond. I hurried outside without noticing that Nasty wasn't around. I headed straight towards the pond. I didn't catch any fish that day. I didn't even get to fishing. I found Nasty's corpse there instead, riddled with bullets.

I don't remember if I cried or exactly what I did afterwards. I do remember finding myself in front of his grave in a place that I didn't recognize. And my fingers were frozen. I didn't have anything to dig with. I'd used my hands to do it.

Days didn't exactly pass after that. I waited hours on end for night to come, just so I could wait for hours on end again for morning to come. Life became all about waiting. I don't remember a day when it was over.

I didn't see many patrols afterwards. If I had come across someone, I might have just broken their neck and fed them to the fishes. Though, in reality, I might just have hid and waited till they passed. Still, I like to think I'd have done something extreme like that.

The monotonous days were accompanied by nothing but snow.

It had been snowing for days. And my memory was even hazier. I was just strolling around before heading towards the top of the hill, where the den was, when I came across the bloodied figure.

I had noticed the bloody footprints and followed them until I found someone collapsed near the top. I went over to the figure and lifted it up.

A chill went through me as if I'd just been summoned back to life.

"Lady...", I muttered.

She wasn't quite as I remembered her. But then, I had no idea what time or world this was. It all came back to me all too suddenly. I sat pondering that day while I nursed her back to health.

Valhalla, the Valkyries, everyone I'd met, everything I'd ventured to do to create a perfect world for everyone—it all came back to me.

Some days had passed before she came to. It wasn't long before she was helping me around. I didn't ask her anything. Truth be told, I didn't need to ask anymore.

I even went as far as to talk to some soldiers. I was suddenly no longer afraid of patrols. Though I still tried to avoid them as much as I could, I didn't mind talking my way out of interrogations if it came to it. I happened to be good at it. It never took a lot of convincing.

I didn't say much to Lady. Not only because I didn't want to leave any impression on her, but because I was convinced she'd get bored and leave once she was healthy. But when I saw little chance of that, I thought it wouldn't be too bad to teach her a thing or two about hunting and foraging, which happened to be my forte.

And right when I thought she was having a good time of it, she disappeared one morning. I don't suppose it was that surprising. I had given her the overcoat I made with the bear pelt. With her gone, I figured my role in that world was done. Lady and I had managed to visit Nasty's grave, and I felt no regret leaving that world. Of course, I didn't quite know where I might end up next. But the more it stretched, the clearer a certain realization got to me.

Every world I visited from there on was a fragment of what I would have called the past. The Bloody Fall, the day Iris Bergmeier became a hero, the day Bardock died—all of those days that had happened in the original world were springing up in front of me.

Eventually, I could see the truth. My pursuit after Lady was coming to an end. It had just been going in circles. In the end, even as I was splitting worlds to create more possibilities, there was nothing new. Lady's life seemed to be set in stone, unchangeable, and without new possibilities.

Her life was enough to drive one insane. Or rather, it was Lady herself. I had been to at least a billion different worlds before I finally got the answer I was looking for.

That was one dark day, if I'd ever seen one. As I opened my eyes, a wide expanse stretched before me. It was filled with dead bodies piled on top of each other. The air was rank with blood. I could almost feel the heat seeping into me from the ground. It must have been hell on earth.

I searched the land for any movement, any figure still breathing, or some soul still trying to live. But there were none. I could throw up right then and there if I hadn't seen too much in life already. I sighed, but then I found it hard to find any air to breathe in. A shiver ran down my spine, and I figured I'd leave that world without waiting anymore.

Just as I was about to drift away, I caught a glimpse of something unfortunate. It was a little, very weak figure that was walking towards me. I wasn't sure it was alive until it had already come quite close.

I could feel my heart coming right up to my throat. And in that instant, as I caught a glimpse of her face, I understood everything. I understood why there had been no answer. And I understood why I always felt something was amiss.

There she was. She was the answer.

That little girl with very uneven and shaggy blonde hair, pale as death skin, and a glint of blood in her eyes was all the answer I'd been looking for in all those billions of worlds.

I stared at her blankly for a long time.

But knowing that she was there for me, I had to speak up.

"What do you wish for?"

I could feel myself tearing up as a sharp pain arose in my head and my face heated up.

"Freedom."

The word rang through me. Her quivering yet composed voice was so feeble, I could just put it out with a flicker of my finger. But the weight her answer carried almost buried me.

"Are you sure?", it took a lot of effort for me to ask that.

"I want wings...to fly."

It was quite apparent that she was adamant. I, at least, couldn't contest her decision anymore. This was where my journey was going to come to an end.

I got down on my knees and looked into her eyes. The power I'd stolen from Lady in another world was still with me. I suppose it was time to return it. I placed my hand on her head to return that power to its righteous owner.

"I'm sorry, Lady."

I must have looked quite pathetic even to that little girl, but I couldn't hide the pain anymore. It must have shown on my face.

I didn't wait a minute more in that world. I didn't need to see what happened to the girl or what she did afterwards. I was done. Or so I thought.