Harry Potter + A song of Ice and Fire Crossover
Chapter 22
It was a ghostly group that rode slowly back to Riverrun.
The silence between all members of the party was thick on the air and apprehension roiled the stomachs of two of the company even as uncertainty and confusion crowded the minds of others.
Catelyn was too shaken to remount her horse and so rode behind Brynden Tully all the way back. Somehow the Blackfish had managed to calm the animal enough to tether it to his own mount. As he had done so, he had cast a stern eye around all those who had rode with them lingering almost exclusively on both Petyr and Brandon Stark who had had to look down beneath his intense gaze.
He had spared a gaze for his youngest niece but he needn't have bothered anyway. Lily was shaken to the point where she wasn't fit for much conversing.
But if she thought she herself was bad, it was nothing to how Cat was trembling as he uncle had helped her onto the horse.
Lily's hands had shaken as she had taken hold of the reins but during the silence of the journey back, they had slowly begun to still.
As they did so, a few thoughts began to percolate, rolling through her mind like the steady wheels of a well built wagon.
They saw it….the magic
But did they believe it?
Magic is a legend here….no one's ever seen what it looks like
But what if they did believe what they saw? There were too many people there for it to be cast off like an illusion.
No, it was too soon. Who knows how they're going to react?
Obliviate! Now!
Lily blinked as that last thought shot through her mind like an arrow loosed from a bow.
She thought about how easy it would be and for one terrible moment was incredibly tempted. She could literally feel the magic sizzling in her veins and causing her fingers to tingle as they itched to obey.
And then just as suddenly as it had appeared her hands cooled, steadied and reason returned to her.
Obliviating was something Voldemort would have done. He had had no problem doing anything and everything to unsuspecting Muggles and she would be no better than he if she attempted to manipulate her family.
Images of her first home, of her first father and mother, Petunia passed through her mind, followed quickly by her former Muggle born school mates and she had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat.
No, she couldn't obliviate her family no matter how much easier it might make things. She had decided long ago that they wasn't the sort of person who was going to manipulate others for her own gain and not even a death and incarnation was going to change that.
If she didn't stand for the same things she did in her previous life, than Lily Evans would truly cease to exist.
The red head closed her eyes briefly and took a silent breath as she prepared herself for an indefinite change.
She had no idea how her family would react to the idea of magic but she was soon going to find out. Her father had never been a religious person, though Minisa had before her death and Catelyn tried hard to follow her example everyday.
Her siblings were scattered in between her father and mother and Petyr never visited the sept in Riverrun.
No, she had no idea how they would comprehend the knowledge. But before anything else, they were her family and if they didn't trust and love her despite everything they had seen than they would not be the people she had grown up with and she would need to prepare herself for any consequences that came as a result.
And if that meant running, well then she would need to prepare for that too.
That last thought chimed ominously through her mind as the gates of Riverrun appeared ahead of them and Lily heard what she thought was an audible sigh of relief.
She didn't look to the right or to the left to see who had uttered it however but cantered through the gates when the call came for them to be opened.
The party clattered into the courtyard and Lily looked swiftly around, a sense of relief crashing over her when she saw that it was relatively empty.
She hurriedly dismounted from her horse and all but ran for the stables without looking back to see if anyone was following.
There were several mutters behind her but she couldn't hear what was being said and she wasn't sure that she wanted to.
Instead Lily led her horse to its stall and showed it in before removing the saddle from its back and hurriedly brushing the creature down.
She knew she should probably go out into the courtyard and address what had happened, give some sort of explanation. But her Gryffindor courage was failing her and all she wanted to do was apparate up to her room before anyone saw her and stay away from anyone for the rest of the day.
The thought had no sooner crossed her mind when she decided to do just that.
After making certain that the stable was empty, Lily spun on her heel and disappeared with a crack.
It was very careless on her part as she didn't know whether or not her chambers were empty but at the moment she didn't care.
Thankfully though, there was no one there when she arrived.
The red head didn't even remember changing out of her clothes before climbing into the bed and succumbing to slumber.
Ω
The knocking must have been quite intense for it was only the door opening that woke Lily from her slumber.
She sat up with a start, red curls askew and the blankets twisted in knots about her. The sky outside the window was dark making her wonder how long she had been dead to the world for and she swallowed hard, remembering what had happened only a few hours earlier.
"Lily?"
The red head blinked and turned towards the door only to be confronted with the image of her eldest sister standing somewhat uncertainly in the doorway. Her hand was grasping the knob as if for dear life but Lily couldn't read the expression on her face and for some reason that terrified her.
"Cat," she whispered and her hands around the blankets clenched for a second as if she were a frightened animal waiting to spring.
Her own expressions must have been easier to read because the tense expression on her sister's face cleared and she stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind her.
Then she surprised Lily even further by leaning back against and closing her eyes tightly for a moment.
"Cat?" Lily asked again, this time her voice even more uncertain. "What's going on?"
It took a moment before her sister answered again and this time the words were spoken quietly and through nearly clenched teeth.
"What happened back there Lily?" she whispered.
A million thoughts raced through Lily's mind as she tried to comprehend the question. A suitable response wasn't coming to mind so after an absurdly long time, she had to settle for feigned ignorance.
"What do you mean?"
That answer didn't seem to satisfy Cat for the moment it was uttered, her eyes snapped open and she glared at her sister before striding towards the bed and sitting down heavily on one side of it. She stared hard into Lily's eyes as if searching for something and somehow the younger red head managed to not look away.
Finally Cat exhaled, her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the bed. "Thank you."
Whatever response Lily had been expecting that certainly wasn't it and she blinked stupidly for a moment before her tongue managed to unfreeze. "For what?"
"I don't know what you did," Cat said in a halting voice. "But whatever it was….you saved me. I could have broken both legs or I could have died. You managed to prevent either from happening."
It was as if someone had stuck a pin in the balloon of the room and released all the tension. Lily sharply exhaled, nearly overcome with relief.
It was short lived however.
"But what exactly did you do?" Cat asked and Lily closed her eyes, knowing this conversation was a long time coming. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"I don't know," Cat whispered and that one response terrified Lily. "I don't like to think of you keeping secrets."
Lily looked up at her sister from where her gaze had been burning a whole in the bed and clenched her fists. "If you don't accept this than you don't accept me. I need you to understand that. This wasn't something that I stumbled into or did horrible things to obtain. I was born with this. You need to know that."
Cat nodded but Lily wasn't certain how much her sister was truly understanding. Magic was something that the Seven were not in favor of and Lily knew their mother had been a most devout follower of theirs and Cat tried very hard to follow in her footsteps.
"Uncle told us not to say anything," she fairly burst out.
That caused Lily to sit up ram rod straight, her eyes trained on her sister like shot gun barrels. "What exactly did he say?"
Cat twisted the blankets around her hands for a moment, staring hard and them and looking increasingly uncomfortable and wary.
"He strongly charged us not to breathe a word of anything we had seen today to anyone. If anyone asked, I was to say that I had nearly fallen from my horse but that he had managed to grab hold of the beast in time. Anyone he caught sharing the story would answer directly to him."
Lily swallowed hard, silently thanking her uncle for his foresight and the gift of his protection. The less her father knew about what she could do, the better.
"He's the only one that knows isn't he?" Cat asked. There was something accusatory in her tone that made Lily wonder if she was angry or hurt.
"Yes," she said softly. "He's known for a few years now."
"But why?" Cat burst out suddenly. Her face had turned nearly as red as her hair, seemingly from the effort of keeping such a question in but her blue eyes seemed desperate for answers. "Why keep something so extraordinary to yourself?"
Lily swallowed the lump gathering in her throat and prepared to tell yet another difficult truth. "Because I didn't want to lose you."
Whatever Cat might have been about to say was cut off when the words registered in the stillness of the room. Her older sister opened and closed her mouth a few times, hilariously resembling a landed fish before she was able to speak again. "Why on earth would you lose me? Us?"
It took a moment but somehow Lily managed to get the words out. "Because I didn't know what you would do. No one talks about magic here, its nonexistent and even though there are stories from the Age of Heroes about daring feats and incredible adventures, people regard men like Durin's actions as myths. Do you truly believe he could have married a mermaid?"
Cat paused and Lily could practically see her brain working, trying to put the world into terms that she understood.
"I don't know," she said finally. "It all sounds like something you would have to see to believe."
Lily decided then that she was going to do something certifiably insane and she hoped her sister trusted her enough not to go running from the room.
She took a deep breath, raised her left hand and held it in line with the water pitcher sitting across the room on the table beneath the window, silently willing it to come to her.
There was a brief whooshing sound as the object cut through the air and then all of a sudden it was there, sitting whole in her hands.
Trembling slightly, Lily held up the jug towards her sister whose eyes were now as wide as dinner plates. "Do you believe it now?"
A very pregnant silence filled the room as Cat looked from Lily back to the water jug with agonizing indecision.
"But how?" she finally whispered. "How is this possible?"
"If I understood it, then I would tell you," Lily said shrugging her shoulders. "I have been able to do this for years and there is no rhyme or reason to it. I can travel anywhere I wish as long as I know where I am going, I can summon any object you can think of, I can conjure earth and water and fire just by thinking it. The only thing I can't do is bring people back from the dead."
She stared down at her blanket, feeling the prick of sudden tears. Though Minisa Tully hadn't known of her ability, Lily had a feeling she would have accepted it, even as she had accepted her obstinate nature.
She wondered how Minisa would have handled this situation right now had she been in Lily's place.
"No one could," Cat said finally. "If you could have brought back Mother, you wouldn't be my sister, you would be a goddess. That sort of power should be left in the hands of the gods. But as it stands, you have something that many people would say belongs to them and them alone."
"And what do you say?" Lily asked, looking up at her older sister defiantly. "Do you agree with them? Will you reject me as a heretic?"
For the first time since she had arrived Cat looked horrified, but Lily wasn't sure of what.
"Never," the older girl whispered, and Lily wanted to collapse from relief. "I would never turn my back on you. I don't care what you can or can't do. I'm just shocked that's all….and I wish you could have told me."
"I wanted to," Lily replied. "But every year that went by the opportunities to do so became scarcer and scarcer until I began to wonder whether it was worth telling you at all."
Cat nodded but Lily could sense that there was still something else that was bothering her. "What is it?"
"It's just….what do we do now?" Cat asked.
Lily frowned. "What do you mean? We're not going to do anything. You know, Petyr now knows and I'm going to have to explain all of this to him. You can tell Brandon whatever you like I suppose, he was there, we can't deny it happened. And as for Ed and Lysa…well I'll tell them in my own time."
Cat nodded but Lily had a feeling there was more than she wanted to say. "Speak Cat, you and I don't talk as much as we should, not since mother died at least."
"I'm sorry," her older sister whispered suddenly, an omission that stunned Lily for a moment. "What for?"
"You couldn't tell me," Cat whispered, "and when people keep secrets, its usually for a good reason. Maybe if I had made myself more available….maybe you would have felt safer…."
"Don't," Lily said fiercely, reaching for her hands. "Me not telling you this enormous secret, about this magic inside me, that was my decision, it was no one's fault but my own. But now you know, and I hope you can understand a bit better."
"I don't know that I'll ever understand," Cat said shrugging her shoulders and allowing a tiny smile. "You might be giving me too much credit Lily. My life was incredibly simple up until this discovery. I always knew that you were very different from me, but I never expected it to be of this magnitude. The idea of magic being real makes me look at the entire world differently. Are there other people like you? And if so, where are they? I might not be able to understand it right now, but I can promise you that I want to try."
Lily smiled, already feeling worlds better. She reached out her arms tentatively and Cat smiled and pulled her into them.
But even better than the embrace was the words the older girl spoke in the midst of them. "I promise to watch out for you more, I haven't been the greatest sister these last few years but that is going to change."
Ω
Lily avoided everyone over the course of the next few days, confusing her other siblings who wanted to know what was wrong.
Cat told them she wasn't feeling well.
The gravity in their relationship had shifted since the revelation of the secret but it was a difference that Lily appreciated. Finally it felt as if they were on the same page. There were no more secrets between them and it felt as if her sister truly knew her at last.
As for Petyr well, there was no need to ply him with excuses because no one had seen him for days.
He was the person she was most worried about.
Petyr hated secrets and Lily worried that the revelation of this enormous ability would be like a nuclear bomb on their friendship.
Not that there was much to save to begin with, she could feel the threads snapping between them. It had begun when she had chosen to stay in the capital and not come home and now she feared that whatever relationship they had had had been irreparably damaged.
Whatever fault there is, its not mine, she thought stubbornly. I had no obligation to remain in Riverrun forever and Petyr knew this.
If she were being completely honest with herself however, Lily had seen the gleam in her friend's eye when he had registered what was happening and that she was the one doing it. He had seen Cat hovering over the ground and her own outstretched hand.
What would he do with that information?
She didn't know.
Lily wanted to believe that deep down her friend was still in there, the one she had played with and teased for the last decade.
But the last few years she had been away seemed to have changed him.
She wasn't sure if he was still the same boy anymore.
And that scared her.
She would hate to have to cut him out of her life due to some perceived greed ambition but lately he was reminding her too much of Severus and that was an alarming thing.
How had she not seen it earlier?
Both Petyr and Sev had come from low income families with absentee parents and had hard luck in life from a very young age. They were exposed to things and influences that they couldn't have and yet were tempted still.
Lily knew her friend bemoaned his lack of wealth and influence in Westeros compared to the rest of the greater houses but she was only now beginning to realize just how deep that resentment might go.
And now he had seen something that was supposed to not exist….or at the very least be extinct.
She remembered that conversation they had had in the library about magic and legends what seemed like a lifetime ago and grimaced.
Petyr had likely gotten a dose of reality that day.
The one comfort was her uncle Brynden who calmly told her that she had nothing to fear. No one would be breathing a word to anyone any time soon.
He had likely put the fear of god into Brandon Stark and if anyone on this earth was scarier than her father, it was the Blackfish.
Even still however, Lily decided to ignore her Gryffindor courage for the moment and simply spend as much time with Axel who was still blissfully clueless about what she could do.
It wasn't until she was sitting on a bench in the courtyard watching the master at arms take him through one his riding lessons with Cat sitting next to her that the situation was once more addressed.
"Are you going to tell them?"
Lily stiffened at the question and fought the urge to clench her fists. "I don't know. Not right now at least."
There was a pregnant silence and Lily glanced at her sister out of the corner of her eye. She was currently twisted her fingers together in a telltale gesture that made Lily realize she had more to say.
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
The red head blinked. "What do you mean?"
Cat exhaled and her shoulders sunk lower and lower as if all the air she had been holding in was leaving her body slowly. "Its one thing to keep an enormous secret like this to yourself. But to let only a few of us know….and then choose not to tell the others…."
She trailed off, leaving Lily to grimace rather violently at her meaning. She would need to tell Ed and Lysa….and soon.
"I know," she said. "I'm just afraid."
To her surprise, Cat laughed. "You? Afraid? When have you ever been afraid of anything in your life? You were never afraid to stand up to father or mother. You were never afraid of what others might think of you, not wanting to be a conventional lady and all. You didn't care what people thought when you rode a horse and didn't dance or took up a sword instead of a needle. You have never cared about the opinions of others. Why now?"
Lily stared hard at her lap, trying to put her feelings into words.
When she had still been Lily Evans, she had struggled mightily at times with getting her thoughts out of her head in a way that made sense. She had been angry a lot as a child because she felt that she couldn't convey herself properly.
When she had gone to Hogwarts, the problems had mostly gone away but the odd time, when she was facing a difficult situation especially, she had to close her eyes and get herself to focus so that she could be coherent.
"I wouldn't be telling just anyone," she said finally. "These are our siblings. Their opinions mean more than most people."
Cat wasn't daunted. "That's not an excuse and you know it. Ed has always been in the thick of trouble along with you since you were children and he would be overjoyed to know about this. As for Lysa…..well you know that she adores you. Nothing you could say or do would ever change that."
Lily swallowed hard again and was surprise when she felt her oldest sister's hand wrap around her own.
She looked up to find that Cat was looking at her intently. Her blue eyes were warm and sincere, causing Lily to feel an unconscious burning beneath her own lids. She was suddenly very glad that Cat now knew everything. Her oldest sister had been the one she had been most worried about telling.
If she was taking it as well as all this….well then perhaps the revelation to the others wouldn't be so bad.
"Alright," she said. "I'll tell them after the feast tomorrow."
Just then the sound of hurried footsteps interrupted the amicable silence between them and both girls looked up.
A servant was hurrying towards them with what looked like a letter clutched in his hand. He skidded to a halt in front of them and bowed low. "My ladies, my apologies for interrupting your afternoon."
"It's alright," Cat said with a wave of her hand. "Is something amiss?"
"Not at all my lady," the servant replied. "But a letter has just arrived for Lady Lilian from the capital."
Lily blinked. Elia.
She was on her feet in a trice, reaching for the letter, her momentary turmoil forgotten. "Thank you."
The servant handed it over, bowed low and then departed hurriedly.
"Who is it from?" Cat asked curiously but her sister barely heard her.
She tore open the letter, eagerly searching for the opening words and was rewarded with her friend's familiar scrawling font.
Dearest Lily
I hope this letter finds you well and you are enjoying your time of rest with your family and friends. I too am the beneficiary of some much deserved peace and quiet here. The last few years have settled into a routine as you well know and it is one that I have clung to.
However, I am writing to make you aware of a rather exciting new change.
The king has decided to hold a tourney in honor of the birth of young Visenya and it is to be held at Harrenhal, hosted by House Whent. There will be jousting of course and feasting and many, many parties.
As my dearest friend, you are of course invited along with Ashara. She has just returned to the capital and is itching for some new adventure. I fear you have rubbed off on her far too well. She is asking for you but for the moment is preoccupied with the girls who have become the apple of their grandmother's eye.
There is something additional as well.
Though Visenya is a few months old now, little has been said to the topic of a godmother. As I have no sisters of my blood, the title could not fall to a member of my family.
Therefore I have decided to pursue a rather unconventional method.
I have consulted with my goodmother and she has agreed that my situation does not allow for just one method of tradition.
And so I have decided to name both Ashara and you as the godmother's of the girls. Because I have two daughters I wouldn't feel right naming one close friend godmother of both. Ashara will be named the godmother of Rhaenys and you will be the godmother of Visenya.
I made this decision looking at the personalities of both girls and having decided that their personalities match the pair of yours so well. Rhaenys is a bit mischievous and funloving like Ashara while Visenya is bold and has an explosive temper when pushed to the right point. Save the hair and eyes, and I would swear that she is a miniature version of you my friend.
I wanted to tell you the news in person but I was so excited that I just couldn't wait. I am eagerly looking forward to seeing you again and I know the girls are excited as well.
Be well, my dearest friend.
Princess Elia Martell
Lily set the letter down, feeling a bit dazed and was embarrassed to feel the sudden prick of tears in the corner of her eyelids.
She smiled down at the letter, the neat script blurring behind a wall of shimmery glass.
"What is it?" Cat asked watching her closely.
Wordlessly, Lily handed over the letter to her older sister and waited until she had finished reading.
With a sigh the older red head handed the parchment back to her. "You are so lucky Lily. Good friends like that are hard to find."
Lily gave her a small smile. "You just have to know where to look, not everything has to be about politics and alliances. It's alright if you have a friend who you just like to talk to and not because of who her family is."
Cat squirmed a bit, clearly looking uncomfortable and Lily chose to let the statement hang in the air for a moment before letting it go.
She folded the letter carefully and tucked it into an inner pocket before turning to her sister. "But you are right, I am very lucky to have such a good friend. But I wouldn't be a very good sister if I didn't want you to have that as well. Would you like to go back to the capital with me?"
Cat's eyes went as wide as saucers. "Do you mean that? I mean do you really think that Princess Elia would be alright with my tagging along?"
Lily shrugged. "I'll write and ask. She's very easy going and I think she needs more friends than she let's on. She just might like you."
Whatever else she might have been about to say was cut off when her older sister tackled her with a squealing hug. "Thank you Lily, oh thank you!"
Lily closed her eyes and smiled, feeling a certain measure of peace wash over her. Finally it felt as if she and her sister were on the same page….finally there were no more secrets.
Ω
The night of the feast was also the night before Brandon Stark was to return to the north.
Lily found herself to be in a much better mood knowing he was going to be away from her. There had been a certain gleam in his eyes when he looked at her that made her want to shy away. It hadn't been a look of lust or any dishonorable emotion however. Rather it had been one of interest, curiosity and perhaps the scariest of all, a determination.
But what exactly that determination was rooted in, she did not know.
And she did not intend to find out.
So that was how she found herself sitting in the godswood outside of the great hall of Riverrun with the sounds of music and dancing and laughter in the distance.
She had descended the stairs with her family, met the eyes of no one, eaten the dinner that was placed in front of her and then whispered the words to the disillusionment charm that would enable her to slip out of the doors.
She didn't intend to go back.
Even now, glancing down at the blue sleeveless dress she was wearing, Lily wondered how much of her life was real and how much was all fake.
She knew how to wear a dress well and put on a good face but when it came to compromising her convictions, she felt as if she were being torn in half.
She had been thinking about Elia's letter since she had received it the previous day and wondering how to judge between how much her friend seemed to need her and how much her family did.
You cannot stay here forever, a small but determined voice whispered inside. You're not of Gryffindor house anymore but you still have a lion's spirit.
Lilian Tully, the mighty lionfish, the red head thought to herself and then pressed a fist to her mouth to stop her giggles. That would be quite the title now wouldn't it?
She glanced up at the round silver moon over head and sighed to herself. It would be far easier to simply drift up towards that planet and become a star orbiting it.
"I was wondering where you had gone off to."
Lily nearly jumped at the unexpected and yet all too familiar voice behind her.
She swallowed hard and turned to see Brandon Stark standing a few feet behind her, hands clasped behind his back.
He looked very handsome in dark grey with the sigil of the direwolf pinned to his tunic pocket and his dark hair slicked back. His grey eyes twinkled with mischief and alarmingly, Lily felt her pulse begin to accelerate, though whether that was from fear or something else, she didn't know.
She made no move to get up from the bench she was sitting on, hoping he would take the hint that she wanted to be alone and leave. "Aren't you supposed to be at the feast?"
He didn't. "It's a feast to celebrate my leaving. Why should I be happy about that?"
Despite herself, Lily snorted in amusement. "Not to celebrate your leaving, its one last celebration while you're still here."
She was dismayed when Brandon walked the length around the bench and stood in front of her. "Well if it's a celebration why aren't you there?"
Lily swallowed hard and stared intently at his booted feet in front of her. "I've had enough of parties I suppose."
"What a coincidence, I was just thinking the same thing."
Her dismay intensified when he sat down next to her, keeping a respectful distance between them but still all too close for her liking. "Why are you here in the godswood?"
She shrugged. "Why not?"
"Godswood's aren't readily recognized in the south," her sister's betrothed explained. "The religion of the Seven has taken over."
"Don't tell anyone," Lily drawled sarcastically, "but I don't believe in the Seven. I'm not sure I believe in the old gods either, but I've always liked this wood. It's peaceful. No one ever comes here so I can have some peace and quiet."
Brandon was quiet for a moment and Lily hoped he might take those words as a declaration of her desire for him to get lost.
But unfortunately he was either truly thick, or he was ignoring the very thinly veiled hint.
"You don't strike me as the sort of person who would crave peace and quiet," he said. "After all when I met you in the capital's godswood a few years ago, you were anything but quiet to me."
Lily felt her cheeks burn and was very glad that the shadows of the trees hid it. "You mistook me for a trollop I'm sure, I had to defend my own honor."
"You seem to do a lot of that," Brandon observed.
"What?"
"Defending," he went on. "Your uncle tells me you have been training with him since you were a child, you never wanted to be like your sisters and that display at the Sept of Baelor certainly proved it."
Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "It was absolute chaos at that sept, people were dropping like flies. How on earth were you aware of what I was doing?"
Brandon shrugged. "Because I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I looked for you in the crowd and I saw you. You were holding your own with the help of Robert Baratheon. Although looking back on it now, you didn't look as if you needed his help. And now I think I know why."
He kept looking at her intently then as if he were trying to read her like one would a map and the long her did so, the hotter Lily became until she quite literally wanted to tug on the collar of her dress to let more air in.
"I don't know what you want me to say," she said stiffly after a moment.
"What if I didn't want you to say anything?" he asked softly. "What if I wanted to try and figure you out on my own?"
"Then you're going to be puzzling for a long time," Lily said with a bitter laugh. "I don't know what you think you saw but – "
"What I saw was an incredible woman, use a gift that I don't understand to save her sister from being hurt," Brandon interrupted. "What more is there to puzzle or to work out? That's all I really need to know."
Without even meaning to, Lily looked up at him.
What she saw terrified her.
In those grey orbs was a tenderness and a sincerity that she had never seen before. In the many times she had looked at him, he had borne an expression of laughter, nonchalance or arrogance. But never before had she seen such a look of opaque wonder, possible awe and curiosity.
She looked away, not wanting to see anymore. But she couldn't stop the question from leaping off her tongue. It was a dangerous question.
"What is it that you want from me?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said finally. "I know I want to be around you all the time….but as for what I want….I still haven't decided yet."
"And I suspect that what you want is something that I am not able to give," Lily said stiffly. She could hardly believe they were sitting there having this conversation. Alarm bells were sounding off in her head and every instinct was telling her to run.
"Not able?" Brandon asked softly. "Or not willing?"
"Is there a difference?" Lily hissed through clenched teeth
He was silent for a long time, just gazing at her with those damnable grey eyes of his, eyes that had somehow become soft in the moonlight, all the amusement and playfulness having simply vanished.
She suddenly felt a burning in the corners of her eyes and wanted to curse at herself.
James had looked at her just such a way once.
"Don't you know?" he asked in a soft voice and terror spike through Lily.
"No," she said in a hard whisper. "I do not know, nor do I want to know. To even ponder such a question would be to display the ultimate disloyalty and I will not do it."
"So you have thought about it then," Brandon said, his face lighting up and it shocked Lily. What could he possibly feel that was so intense and yet so wrong?
"Only as far as to question your sanity," Lily hissed taking a step away from him. "I hate that you seem to be trying to place me in the position of my sister. I hate that you are ignoring my sister who I know would do anything for you in favor of some perceived fancy or whim. I hate that you seem to get under my skin with a simple look and that you seem to enjoy doing it. What is it that you want from me?"
He didn't say anything and Lily wanted to rail at him, curse him with every foul word and title that she knew.
She closed her eyes and tried to picture Elbert's sweet face, the Elbert that she would soon be betrothed fully to, the Elbert that didn't try to hinder her spirit and simply let her be, the Elbert who even now might be writing a letter to her about his possible appearance in the tourney at Harrenhal.
But it was no good. Every time she tried, James' face kept crowding into her mind. Sometimes his features were crossed with Brandon's however, making her fear that she was slowly forgetting what he looked like.
"Well first," Brandon said sounding amused to Lily's bewilderment. "I want you to stop yelling at me. I don't think that really accomplishes much. And second I don't want anything from you. But what I do want you to understand is something about me."
He paused and seemed to be gathering himself. "What I want you to understand is that I don't give up very easily. When I see value in something or someone, I want to know more about that person or thing. It doesn't matter if I don't know much about them, it doesn't matter how different they are from me. It doesn't matter where we live or what we do or what sort of standing we have or our responsibilities. When I see value…nothing else matters."
He took a step towards her and Lily realized then that they were standing far too close. She didn't even remember getting up from the bench.
Somehow he was still talking.
And then….then he raised one of his hands and rested it against the side of her face. His touch was cool but at the same time not unwelcome to her hot skin and Lily wanted to shudder, but whether or not that was away from him, or into his touch, she didn't know.
As if this encounter couldn't have been any worse, he then raised her face so she had no choice but to look into his eyes.
There was a desire burning there that was altogether horrifying, wrong on so many levels and yet Lily couldn't look away.
"And in you," he said softly. "I see more value than I've ever seen in anyone before. I know that's wrong, I know you're getting ready to rail and scream at me…and you probably should. But before you do….I wanted you to know that."
It was as if he had punched her in the gut. In fact it probably would have been better if he had.
Lily wasn't sure what to say or if she was even capable of speech after those words.
But as it turned out, she didn't need to say anything because in that moment, the silence was broken by someone else.
"Lily?"
A wave of horror washed over the red head as the familiar voice broke over them. She flinched away from Brandon as if she had been struck, almost turning mechanically towards the sound of her sister's voice.
Cat was standing several feet away from them by the shelter of the trees, her face as pale as milk in the moonlight as she looked back and forth between them. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Lily said sharply taking even more steps back, putting as much distance between herself and Brandon as possible. "There's nothing going on."
"It didn't look like nothing to me."
As if things couldn't possibly be any worse than they were, Petyr stepped from the shadows, arms folded across his chest. His pale green eyes were locked on Brandon's and they were blazing with a fire she had never seen before.
"Well it was," Lily snapped at him.
"Brandon?" Cat asked turning away from her sister to her betrothed. "What are you doing out here?"
"Taking in the air," the Stark heir said stiffly and Petyr snorted out a very bitter laugh. "It looked to me like you were trying to take something else."
"Petyr, shut up," Lily hissed. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?" her childhood friend asked, his voice deadly quiet. "I tried to tell you Lily. I tried to tell you that he was trouble. But you didn't believe me."
"What's going on here?" Cat asked, her voice breaking, eyes wild. There was confusion and betrayal and desperate hope there, hope that she wasn't seeing what she thought she might be seeing.
Lily took a step towards her, shame, greater than any she had ever known washing over her. "Cat – "
Her sister held up a hand. "Were you – "
"No!"
"Well then why were you two out here alone?!"
"Ask him!" Lily screeched, pointing at Brandon who had taken a step backwards when the timbre of her voice had rung out. "Ask him why he seems to be everywhere that I am or why he can't leave me alone! Ask him why he never does anything that he's told and can't leave well enough alone!"
She bit off the words with a muffled sob and both boys turned towards her then, Petyr with concern and rage tussling on his face. Then he turned back to Brandon, the fury returning in full force.
"All you've ever done since you've gotten here is cause trouble," he hissed at the older man. "Why can't you Starks stay in your frozen north where you belong instead of trying to take what isn't yours to have."
A sneer curled Brandon's lips upward. "And look whose getting possessive now? What exactly is it that I shouldn't have? Hmmm? And just what, or should I say who, do you want so badly you're terrified of me getting near them? You're a coward Baelish, you had your whole life to do something about your feelings and now its too late! Do us all a favor and crawl back into the den you came out of!"
Those words seemed to trigger something in Petyr however because his face turned livid with rage and he rushed Brandon.
Before Lily was able to fully register what was happening, both of them were tussling in the dirt, fists flying, shouts and grunt visible from there fight.
"Stop!" Cat was shouting, "Stop it both of you!"
Her words fell on deaf ears however and the fight continued. Brandon was far bigger and strong than Petyr however and it didn't take long for her friend to receive a bloody lip and a broken nose from the incident.
Lily realized than that if she didn't do something soon, her friend was liable to end up seriously injured.
With her emotions running high and so much anger and sadness and shame tussling within her, she did the only thing she knew to do and cast a spell.
"Everte Statum!"
The force of the charm and the channeling of Lily's rage caused both boys to fly backwards, nearly hitting the trees behind them.
But even in her rage Lily was carefully and Petyr and Brandon landed with only a jarring thump on the ground across the clearing from each other.
There was a very pregnant silence which followed the execution of the spell and Lily stood panting for a moment before she was able to speak again.
Tears were pouring down her face but from what emotion she didn't know.
She whirled on Petyr who was staring at her as if he had never seen her before. "How dare you. How dare you make presumptions about something you have no idea about."
She then turned to Brandon. "And how dare you! How dare you come out here and try to take advantage of my emotions as if I were a naïve court girl! I have news for you. I can do far worse to you than any noble lady and if you ever try something like this again, I will ensure that you are never able to pass on any such dishonorable traits to anyone else!"
And then, without even looking at her sister who was still standing there in shock because she was certain she couldn't bear the shame, Lily turned and ran from the godswood, tears pouring down her face.
Ω
Two for two! I am on a roll baby! So, lots of drama in this chapter and you might have noticed the tourney at Harrenhal is fast approaching. Petyr and Brandon have had their first fight, sewing the seeds of hatred between the two and a few of you know a bit of what's going to happen next. Don't forget to subscribe to my Youtube Channel, the name is Kaetie Mac for those of you who don't know. Don't forget to review and I will see you next time!