But you can't kill me

#18

The room is still pitch black. Now that I deduced I am in some kind of a bed with a breathing mask on my face, I suspect I am injured and hospitalized somehow, although this would be a very weird kind of a hospital, and I do not feel any pain in my body. Am I in a coma? Am I paralyzed? The fact that I could not move my limbs, let alone even just fingers, probably meant one of these was possible. What happened to me? I do not know, but I probably deserve it after all that I have done. I didn't mean it in a bad way, but I did bring a bad end to people who didn't deserve it – most of them anyway.

#Clang#

I heard some metallic sound that echoed into the room and felt a very subtle breeze brush over me for a second. It's the door. Someone opened the door. Then I heard the footsteps, getting closer to me, and then stopping maybe a meter away from me.

"You are awake Tobi"

A male voice spoke. I would not say it belonged to an old man, but it was definitely not a young one. Maybe someone around forty-something.

I tried to speak, but the breathing mask on my face made it difficult to do so, and I realized I actually can't open my mouth.

"I will take off the restraint on your jaws. Don't do anything funny – not that you can do anything anyway though"

Then I felt the mask getting yanked out of my nose and mouth, and some sort of a belt that was wrapped around my head to keep my mouth shut being removed. Funny I didn't think about it before, that my face was unnaturally tied like this the whole time.

"I will ask you a few questions, and you will answer. Clearly, but you don't have to be concise. Feel free to tell me as much detail as you can remember"

"Who are you?"

"There's no need for you to know my name"

"Are you a doctor? Or the police?"

"I guess you could say I'm some sort of a detective. Let's leave it at that"

"What happened to me?"

"You are being detained and restrained in this facility"

"For what?"

"To serve for your crime, and to act as a bait"

"Okay, I get that I'm caught. I'm fucked. But am I more fucked than I realise? Am I paralyzed or something?"

"No. You are just drugged. It will wear out eventually and you will feel your body again"

"You are not a police are you?"

"No I'm not. But I did say I'm kind of a detective. I figured you out. I figured the whole thing out. And I'm taking actions to put an end to this disaster"

"Who hired you?"

"No one. I'm working for myself"

"Fack. You doing all this without getting paid?"

"There will be a personal reward for me after all this"

"Whatever. So what about the second part of what you said before – what do you mean I'm acting as bait?"

"You know it fully well"

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"For Rika. Rika will come here"

Fack. My hazy mind was clearing up and I could now place my current state in the bigger context of things.

"I have no fucking clue what you are talking about"

Whack. I hear sound of something kicking something else I can't see.

"Gees. How foolish of me. You won't feel it now even when I kick you. I will have to hurt you after the medicine wears out"

"What the fuck do you want from me?"

"As I said, you are just a bait for Rika. She will come. As long as you are here. She will come. Because she has to. You know that"

"No she won't"

"Yes she will. I know"

With that, I heard the sound of footsteps getting further away from me, and a metal door getting shut with a clanging sound.

Run Rika. Please don't come.

#19

It was getting closer to summer. Hot enough to make everyone sweat in the classroom, but not hot enough to meet the school regulation to turn on the in-class air conditioner. Normally we don't mangle in the school because we did not want to draw any attention or cause rumors, but Rika and I often met at the sports equipment storage room during lunchtime and ate our lunches there together in peace, away from all the plebs – oh, that's a bad word. For some reason Rika hated the word 'plebs' when we bitch about other people in school, she said using that word makes us sound like arrogant dickheads, the kind of people she hates the most. So she preferred to use (what she thinks is) the less offensive term 'normalfag'. I didn't like that word either personally because it was too cliché of a word to be used by self-claimed outsiders, but Rika said she likes it – it sounded hip, like youngster's language. Whatever.

On that day we were by ourselves again in the storeroom eating lunch. Rika ate simple most of the time. It looked like she mainly lived on potatoes. I once asked her if she doesn't get sick of it, but she says this is her comfort food so I shouldn't butt in. Fine.

So we had our lunch together, talking about benign things, as I liked to do during those days – to forget the non-benign things, things that I have done which I never wanted to talk about.

The school bell rang signaling the lunchtime is over in five minutes, and we hopped down from the piled-up mattresses and made our way to the door. To our surprise, the door was locked. Shit. Why now? I know normally the storeroom should stay locked, but most of the time it wasn't because there will always be one or more classes having PE any time of the day, and people needed to get things in and out of the storeroom. It looks like some idiot got scolded for not locking the door last time and remembered to lock it at a very inconvenient timing for us.

"It looks like we are locked", I shrugged and told her. No big deal actually I thought, and besides this was a chance to spend even more time with Rika alone.

"I want to get out"

"Erm, but it's locked from outside. Somebody will come eventually to get something from here, maybe by the next class time"

"I NEED to get out"

"Gees, calm down Rika"

"I NEED to get out NOW"

"hey, I'm sorry this happened and we're locked in now. But what's up, we can just chill here for an hour"

Then she kinda turned her head away slightly and murmured something quietly without looking at me.

"Sorry?"

"I NEED TO PEE!", she snapped.

"Oh, right. Erm… I guess you can just go pee in the corner? I won't look"

"I can't pee with you around here! That's so embarrassing"

"Heh, I thought you never get embarrassed"

"Shut up and find a way out"

So I hurriedly went around the storeroom to see if there was any way out, which was pretty stupid as it wasn't like there would be any secret door in the sports equipment storage.

"Hurry up. It's getting urgent", Rika blurted.

Then I looked up and saw there was a window on one of the walls just about two meters above the ground. The window was big enough for even me to go through.

"Hey, I think we can pile up those mattresses and you can climb up to go through the window"

"That will take forever to move the mattresses. You climb up there right now, get out, and open this freaking door"

"Ok, I guess you are in hurry. I will stand below the window then, and you can climb on my shoulders. It's not that high I think you can reach it fine"

"Hell no. I'm not climbing up on your shoulders"

"Why not?"

Then she turned her head away again slightly and mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"If I climbed up I would probably end up PEEING ON YOUR HEAD!"

"Oh. Sorry. That bad..? But I can't climb up two meters myself, unless we

quickly move those mats.."

"I will stand below. Just stand on my shoulders"

"Would it be alright?"

"For fucks sake. Just do it now"

"Okay okay, let's go then"

So Rika stands below me and I excuse myself and climb up, stepping on Rika's shoulders. As we thought, I can reach the window frame easily.

"Hurry up!", Rika rushed me

"I got it, I got it. You can let go now I just need to pull myself up from the window ledge"

Then I felt Rika let go of her hands around my ankles, and I dangle by the ledge and start to pull my body up, but then my grip on the window frame's ledge slipped and I ended up falling.

"Ouch, I'm sorry!"

I realized I landed on Rika who probably didn't have time to get away, but she didn't give any answer. Uh oh. She would be pissed. Or.. maybe she already pissed.

"Sorry, I screwed up. Let's try this again"

I quickly got off her and said, but when I looked down I realized Rika was still on the ground not moving, and to my horror, her neck was twisted in a way that is not possible for humans.

"Oh fuck no! Rika! Are you okay?"

I shouted in panic and knelt to embrace her. Oh no. What happened again. Why does this always happen. I hope she's okay, but this time it looks serious, she probably broke her neck.

I bring up Rika's motionless body and tried to embrace her, then her head just draped downward as if her neckbones completely crushed and the only thing holding her head to her body was the skin of her neck.

"Oh fuck no. Please no.. Rika…"

This can't be. I have to get help quickly. She will be alright. I'm sure she will be fine.

"Help! Somebody help!" I screamed out as loud as I could with my neck stretched in the direction of the window, hoping that miracle will happen in time to save her.

"Stop screaming, you dumbass"

"Rika!" I look down again and there she was, looking perfectly fine again in my arms

"Let go of me. It's disgusting"

"Are you okay?"

Then she gave me a slap on my face

"Again, and again. This shit again. All the time"

"I'm sorry I keep hurting you... I really didn't mean to.."

"It was enough the first time, but it seems you can never stop"

"I'm sorry.."

Then Rika sat up, moving her head left and right, front and back as if to check she is okay.

"I'm okay now. Just don't do this again"

As much as I was glad she was okay, it was astounding how she was not hurt – wait.. it can't be, I mean nobody would be fine if their neck snapped like this? But I guess it doesn't matter. She's fine.

"Ok I'm sorry... I'm just glad you are okay. I thought I might have killed you"

"You can't"

"er?"

"You can't kill me"

"What do you mean?", I was puzzled

"You can't kill me"

"er… is your head alright? You mean you are like immortal?"

"I am not immortal. But I said YOU can't kill me"

"That doesn't make sense"

"But I can kill YOU"

"Wha..?"

Before I realized what was happening, I saw a light flashing off a blade she took out from god knows where – what the fu...

She slit my throat with a knife. I tried to say something but I couldn't speak, the only thing I felt was like air escaping my lungs through the open cut of my throat but at the same time, the back of my mouth was getting blocked with bubbling blood. I instinctively cover the wound with my hands to desperately stop the blood, but it felt too late. All this time Rika was giving me a cold glare, staring me directly in the eyes. This feels familiar. This feels like the time she was choking me and I passed out, but no, this time I'm dying. She's killing me. Why. Was it that bad I fell onto her? Although she seems okay now? Why does she carry a knife? Why did she do this now? After what I have done for you Rika.. I thought we were something. Oh god. It's that feeling again. I can't tell if my life is escaping through the open gape of my throat or through my eyes – getting sucked out by her fixed glare without a single blink. Everything was turning black.

Fack. This happened before. But there is no coming back now. I'm not passing out. I'm actually dying. And there will be nothing. I return to nothing. Judging by how it feels now I don't think there will even be an afterlife where I can regret anything. This was just it.