CHAPTER 1: My past

"Haaay, my future is bleak and my money never stays in my wallet for weeks. How the hell am I in this situation? " I grumbled to myself as I go to work.

By the way, I am carrying the name Ellatrise Dominguez and I am currently 29 years of age. A certified NBSB (No boyfriend since birth) maybe due to my early exposure to love stories, romance and fiction books which made me rather picky in choosing someone. Well, if you were like me, exposed with those romance fantasies, wouldn't you be filled with illusions of the man you're going to be with. Most especially if you have no experience, you would notice every little flaw and with the advent of Science and Technology, you would see various types of men that would even make you're standard higher. Well, that was me. I just don't know if there is anyone there like me.

I am independent woman, an orphan who pushed through life by hard work and talent alone. I do not ask my orphanage for support as I can support myself financially by having part time jobs in the City. My daily activities are mainly studying, working several part time jobs and reading novels, mangas or watching animes on my free time. I graduated in college and work as a teacher nowadays but i rarely go outside after work, as I am an introvert through and through. I can stay inside my apartment through the day without getting bored. I do not have any man who made my heart beat like crazy. The only ones who excites and make me happy is watching BTS, most especially my bias Jungkook. I know I am already too old to be a fan but i cannot help it. They are just so admirable in every little thing they do. They are almost good in everything and handsome to boot. After dreaming about them, being a fan day and night, my boring life continues.

"Good morning class. It's been a busy week. Take out your books and open your Purposive Communication book at page 78.

We tackled last week about the elements of human communication.

"Who can give me the seven elements in chronogical order and give me a brief explanation of each?"

"No one? Salazar? Stroam? Volzkhi?"

My students looked at each other, talking with only their eyes as they then all bow their heads as if understanding what the result of their silence is going to be. In their minds they are thinking, it's going to be a long, long day.

My students often referred her as the embodiment of slave worker or the female version of Snape. Because according to them, once I enter the room, i have this commanding presence on which you cannot help but straighten your back and listen as i teache in front. I also talk without interuption if ever my students had done something I did not like her. My students often has earmuffs or earplugs hidden to stop or lessen the noise of my endless rambling. Eventhough I know what is happening, I just can't help but be strict since I know that if my students do not work hard, they are the one who is going to lose much since I am being paid for teaching them. And if they did not learn anything, it wouod be their loss. Just like what was said in the movie 3 idiots, "Life is a race, if you don't run fast, you will lose.

I had never imagined myself as a teacher when i was younger. The professions i often envisioned myself were engineers, doctors, architects, businesswoman and other high profile jobs. Well, my classmates never doubts me as i was really intelligent. In their elementary and high school days, i was always on top. But in life, always expect the unexpected because I became a teacher even though i never really liked children that much and I have no patience teaching others in the first place.

" Is there no one who can answer my question? "

"Didn't I just explained about this, how can you not know the answer?!

And the long speech is finally happening... For about thirty minutes i has been talking ceaselessly

..." So you did not understand my explanation then, if that is so then from now on all the remaining topics will be reported by all of you.

"Class representative? "

" Yes, ma'am? " Answered the class representative

" Allocate the remaining topics on your classmates, group yourself by 3 accordingly."

" Understood, ma'am. "

Then the bell rung...

" Okay class, on our next meeting, be sure to be ready on your report. I want all of you to be ready to report on the day we meet again!"

As i leave my class, the students all sighed in relief. As the embodiment of doom finally left their presence.

As i entered their faculty. I sit on my chair and table allocated to me and massaged my temple.

"Haaish!!! If only I just spent my elementary and high school not so serious and being a loner, I may have had friends and maybe chose a better course if I had someone who can somehow put a word for me to have a scholarship. But I cannot depend on that because there are already so many who lined up for scholarships and they also have some sort of connection on the government like being relatives of those officials or employees.

And now, look where it got me, a teacher???!!! What the heck! I never once thought of myself being a teacher.

No offense meant for teachers for I am one myself right now but being a teacher just sucks. A not so enjoyable job, a low wage, lack of time to relax or have vacation, tiring job composed of teaching those students who do not seem to listen or anything, and most of all, I cannot save even a single penny for its barely enough to cover my daily expenses and I also cannot forget the orphanage, they have helped me so much, I owe them so much for what I have today."

And her endless rambling to herself continues as she went home.

" It's true that I studied so hard in elementary and high school but that is because I have no choice, it was the only way for me to rise in the society ruled by those who are rich, powerful and have so many connections. Life is a rice, if I don't run fast, I'll be left behind. "

It was because I was too picky on my course that I was not sure what to take and also there are various reasons why it is not possible for me to take most of the professions.

If I was going to be a lawyer, I might be killed and there will be many death threats, I can't live my life living in fear. If I choose to be a chef, I am not that good of a cook, I'm a foodie so that is not possible. If I choose to be a teacher for children, I might hurt the them with my measly patience, I will go to prison certainly with parents being too paranoid of their children. If I choose to be a stewardess, I'm not beautiful, graceful and I'm not proficient in applying make ups and if the plane crashes, I don't know how to swim, it's the same with being a marine. If I became an engineer or architect, I might not pass my exams because I hate math and I'm not good at it, also I might fall off the building while getting on higher floors and I also have a slight fear on heights. If I become an accountant, I will be the first victim if a thief comes running by and they might make me pay the losses. If I become a doctor, I will spend more or less ten years studying, I don't have the money and I don't like seeing blood and insides of people, it totally grosses me out. If I become a nurse, there are too many already. Life is truly hard and most professions need so much money and that is the thing I do not have so much... MONEY!!!

Even simple things at first might be really complicated, I may have never thought about it. But before I should have gone to college, I should have thought throughly what course I need to take. I should have considered my likes, my dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. I need to choose something I enjoy doing because apparently, I have to do that work for many years. But all was lost for a mistake I made. I was too conceited that I can take any course but the truth was, I only made my life harder.

I just have so many issues in life, I often get depressed and be stressed. I have so many PROBLEMS, the orphanage, my work, my students, my personal life and funds. My life is so complicated... (sighs) My life sucks.. I wish I can go back in time, please God, anyone out there who has the power, grant me rebirth, reincarnation, transmigration, parralel world or whatever you call it like those novels I read on Webnovel, start life all over again, I wish I was born with a rich family even if the life of the rich seemed not so simple with all politics and underhanded schemes but I will have a family on my back, supporting me at all times and I will have less to worry. I can truly be happy and have a normal life with a husband and my own family. How great it would be to be born again with a rich and powerful family, with superior looks and intelligence to help me through but that's all fiction...things can never be reverted, mistakes cannot be undone and the past can never be changed... Oh how I miss those times... I wish I can go back, back to where it all begun and change my past... "

As i complained, grumbled and cried all night about my life in the window, sitting and with a cup of coffee which already turned cold, looking up at the starry skies desolate with any stars in the dead silence of the night. And then suddenly, a shining, shimmering and dazzling shooting star passes by and her whole world suddenly turned dark.