Chapter 9: Being Desiree Li

When my teacher insisted on making a home visit, I told her that I was an orphan. After rummaging through my files and having ensured no record of a guardian, she decided on her punishment and even shouted at me in front of the whole class.

One morning, while Vicky and I were waiting for a class break in the afternoon, we read a tedious romance novel together. When I asked if she wanted to grab a bite to eat, she responded, tears in her eyes, still immersed in the plot," Wait a minute, until I finish this paragraph... "

While eating in the canteen, I was curious as to why her eyes were red and swollen and asked, "Are you so touched?"

"How nice this man is to give up everything for his beloved woman, but the hardhearted woman doesn't understand him... " she said.

"But he's a demon. He raped her... to constrain that woman around him. That kind of man deserves to be put to death," I said and could not bear her pathetic sympathy and distorted view of love.

Vicky glared at me, " Desiree, do you understand a man's charms?" she asked. I didn't understand since I was surrounded by a man who tortured me almost to death. She saw my blank face, and kindly reminded me, " It's cool for a man to show both his love and hatred."

"I always thought charm was more about appearance," but I listened to her words and then kept silent.

"He's a good man as long as he protects his beloved woman, even if he's guilty to rest of the world," Vicky added.

"Insightful view," I thought and asked, "Would you still want a man if he runs operations which involve evil doings, including murder and arson?"

I was surprised to hear her say, "What's the matter with killing and fire? You cannot judge a man by something like murder or arson!" I just kept silent and drank some water to remain calm.

She sat up straight and said to me firmly, "Jonathan is the right man if he loves me... " I spat all the water on her face. "Desiree Li! " she exclaimed.

"Sorry! I am so sorry!" I wiped the water from her face with a napkin. It was all my fault, but your words shocked me. "Who did you say? You mean, "Jonathan Li?!"

"Yes! What's wrong?" she asked.

"Do you know him?" I asked. I just found out that there were always people who talk to him about illegal dealings when he takes me out on the street, like what happened that morning. But I never knew that he was so famous.

"Don't tell me you haven't heard about Jonathan Li," Vicky said.

I shook my head without hesitation," No!" I replied. This time Vicky became more contemptuous. "What exactly do you think about all day?" she asked curiously. It was because I knew too much that I dare not tell the truth, in case I would be considered a member of his gang.

"He's extremely handsome!" she blurted out. Thinking of that face, I agreed reluctantly.

She wiped her drool, and went on, "It's said that when he was working out on the streets, just his name frightened people and those who had offended him were afraid to sleep at night... " I agreed when thinking of my father's expression when he saw Jonathan.

When thinking of the name, Jonathan Li, I lost my appetite and stirred my porridge until it cooled.

When I was in the class in the afternoon, I had a slight pain in my abdomen, then it suddenly occurred to me that I was about to start menstruating. I suffered pain throughout the whole class and had no appetite for dinner. I just lay in bed wrapped tightly in my duvet.

After a while, not knowing how long, I heard the door open. Jonathan asked, " Desiree are you back?" I struggled to get up and greet him, I was powerless and gave up. I heard the gentle footsteps approaching and stop beside my bed. Then, his big hands carefully pulled down the duvet and brushed my messy hair aside.

He was so gentle for fear of waking me. I thought he would leave, but he sat by my bed and touched my face gently. "Desiree? What's the matter?" he whispered and wiped the tears on my face and asked anxiously, "What happened?"

"It's okay! " I said as I bit my lip shyly.

"Are you sick? Why not tell the others?" he asked. He made the yellow light brighter and lifted me out from under the warm duvet, with his forehead close against my forehead...

When I was little, it's wasn't improper to estimate my temperature this way.

His forehead was burning like fire, and his lips were so close to me, almost next to me if I opened my mouth.

I never said a word and breathed slowly. My hands were perspiring. When he loosened his hands, I felt so relieved. "I'll call the doctor," he said.

"No," I said and grabbed his sleeve. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine."

"You look terrible. What's wrong with you?" he wanted to know.

I looked at him and said, "It's normal for a girl to feel sick during her menstrual period, it's alright."

Yes!" A faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. "Is it painful?" he asked.

"Well, I want to drink water," I said, hoping he would leave.

"Ok, wait a minute, I'll get it for you," he said. I heard him heading towards the kitchen and grab a glass and fill it.

He returned with a cup of warm juice and a painkiller. I took the medicine, and the heat eased the pain in my body. It was true that women are sentimental during their period. I was moved to tears, even though I was so hardhearted. "Why is he so kind to me?" I wondered.

He lay on my bed, hugging my shoulder so that my head could rest on his beating heart. He stroked my face and with tenderness in his eyes, said, "I like your innocence and kindness, which I will try my best to protect, and shelter you from the filthy world and maintain your purity."

Although his heartbeat was strong, I hoped it would stop. "Desiree, I don't care what people think of me, because I won't believe what they say. I only trust you, since you have grown up with me, the woman who understands me most, and I know you would never betray me."