I'm ready

"Jenn, you look great!", Jihee exclaimed in an exaggerated but nevertheless genuine manner. 

I couldn't believe that I actually came to this. What the hell am I doing going to a mixer where boys and girls usually go with anticipation to hook up? I had zero interest in boys, but it would have been weirder if I told Jihee 'I'm actually interested in girls instead'. I'm a boy in a girl's body interested in girls, does that make me a lesbian or am I still straight?

On top of that, this was like the first time ever I met up with someone from my high school outside of, well, school. In middle school, I did have some 'friends', but they were all boys and we usually did nothing but play games together at arcades or on the console at home. This was like a proper social event, something that I simply did not have any experience with. 

I still came though because I did not want to turn down this first chance I got as Jenn to socialize with other kids outside of school. I was scared that maybe if I turned it down the first time they would never ask me again, and we just end up being kind of 'friends' that only chit-chat during breaks at school but never do anything more than that. Eventually, I would be left behind alone again as a loner. I couldn't let that happen in this life as Jenn. 

"Thank you, Jihee, you look great too"

Well, I did imagine this scenario. At least from what I had read and watched in manga and animations, girls seemed to compliment each other on their looks when they met out of school. It was one of those rare occasions where you saw other kids wearing casual clothes instead of school uniforms - but of course, this stressed me out too. I had zero sense of fashion, what the hell was I supposed to wear? What if I looked too casual and looked like I didn't care? What if I overdid it and people thought I looked cringy?

Luckily, there was Hana whom I could rely on for pretty much anything. I somehow got the feeling that mom would make a big fuss about it so I secretly told Hana that I was meeting up with some friends on the weekend and needed to pick out clothes. Hana was puzzled because I had a dressing room full of designer brand clothes and as expected, Jenn always had a good sense of fashion. Everybody at home now accepted that I did forget a lot of things and have gone through some changes since the accident, but what kind of trauma leads to losing fashion sense? 

So the excuse I came up with was that since the kids I'll start to hang out with from now on will be a different crowd from those at South East High, I wanted something that looked decent but didn't come across as too posh. Hana then understood and we settled on a loose-fitting white shirt and jeans. Perhaps this could have looked too casual too but thanks to Jenn's model-like figure and the high-quality cut of these designer clothes made for a perfect fit that looked good. 

Jihee was wearing a bit more feminine but still kinda cute one-piece dress and Jiho was wearing jeans with some oversized whacky t-shirts. Hugh, I made it. I thought I just about fit with these guys and didn't stand out too much as trying too hard or too little. 

"Hi, Jihee, long time no see!"

Two girls came running to Jihee excitedly. They must be her middle school friends. Jihee introduced me to them too and they seemed friendly enough. 

"Yo, what's up bro, how have you been?"

Three more guys turned up and bro-fisted with Jiho. I was introduced to them as well and even someone as thick as I could immediately tell that they were thinking something along the lines of 'Whoa, this girl's hot'. I found that both flattering and creepy at the same time. 

"Sorry, I'm late"

The last girl came shortly after and now the party was complete with four guys and four girls. 

"Let's get going then"

Jiho led the gang and we were on our way to a karaoke. As soon as I learned a few days ago that this mixer was going to be in karaoke, I tested out at home how good Jenn's singing was and I was not disappointed at all - as expected of this perfect girl. 

There was a problem though. I had a great voice now and could sing like a pro, but I was never really interested in music and I had no idea what kind of songs were popular these days, so I had a self-taught crash course last night going through the popular music chart. 

Man, I did put a lot of effort into this… 

I was feeling very nervous but there was also a sense of excitement. Just until some time ago, I was a loner who got bullied every day at school with no one reaching out to help me, but now I was going to hang out with a big group of people and could already feel the attention I was getting from these guys. It was a quite daunting experience for me but I knew if I chickened out here as Jenn I would have no hope in this new life I had. 

I'm everything that anyone could ever wish for. Let's make this one count.