21. A Trophy for Love

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I'm so sorry about how long it took me to update. Life, some accidents, college, and work have kept me busy. I finally bring you chapter twenty-one. I must say that even though this hiatus was worse for me than it was for you (if I had a choice in this, I would update every week…), it gave me time to see the story in hindsight and to get a better understanding of this final part, this third act. It's not that I've changed ideas or any plot core that I had already planned, it's just that these months allowed me to realize what's the best way to tell them. How to present them to you.

Thank you for the patience to those that had it. Thanks for the critiques to those who gave them to me. Also, thank you to those that are reading this. I'm pretty sure I lost around 80% of my readers with this hiatus and I understand. Again, sorry for taking so long. And I'm sorry I couldn't answer all the reviews I receive, I didn't have that much time. Rest assured, though, that every single review or message you send to me is read. Every single one.

After more than a year since it was first published, this fic has earned a place in my heart, and even though this sounds demagogue and you probably won't believe me, I can assure you that every single message you guys leave me here, in Tumblr, Discord, YouTube and any other social media means a lot to me. Thank you so much for your support.

I'll leave you with the chapter now. This isn't a sad chapter, it's pretty cute and it sets up a lot of things that will soon happen. Sad moments will come soon enough, but let's rejoice on the good stuff before going into some depressing territory.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Loud House. If Nick is looking for a new Director/Executive Producer after what happened, I'm open to offers. Meanwhile, the show belongs to Nickelodeon, Viacom, and its rightful owners.

Chapter 21: A Trophy for Love.

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Having the house to herself wasn't something new for Ronnie Anne. With a dad working long shifts at the hospital and a brother who had almost as much half-time jobs as he was years old, it was frequent for her to be left alone at home. She pretended that she wasn't bothered by it, that she could stand it. She turned on the radio to have some white noise in the background, she played her video games, she even went into Bobby's room looking for something to have fun with or that she could use to blackmail him into taking her to the park to practice her skateboard moves. When everything else failed, Ronnie Anne's last resource was to do home duties. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, clean her room, even the bathroom if that helped her get distracted until someone else could come home to keep her company.

That morning she cleaned up the whole living room, the kitchen and, just in case, her own room. Not because she was bored, but because she was expecting some visits. A visit.

Some days had passed, and yet she still couldn't fully accept the idea that Lincoln, one of the very few people she felt close to outside her family, was… sick. Dying, in fact. Her throat closed and her eyes stitched every time she even thought about it. How could it be? Why? Why him? Why now? She knew that life wasn't fair. If it was, the family picture she had in her room could be more recent and it would still show her whole family. Even though she was only eleven years old, she was familiar with the cruelty and injustice of real life. To acknowledge it, however, didn't help at all with the emptiness in her core.

Lincoln… She had never met someone like him. When she arrived at her new school, she always felt alone. Her old circle of friends had stayed behind, and no one seemed particularly interested in making friends with the rude, Mexican girl that dressed in baggy clothes and that liked to skate. It was their loss, Ronnie Anne told herself. Her first few weeks had been pretty tough, having to face kids that weren't precisely kind towards her. Turning into someone who would strike fear and that no one would like to mess with hadn't been her first choice. It had been the only way she found to defend herself. By becoming the one feared by everyone else, she earned herself long afternoons without bullies. The fact that it only left her even more alone wasn't really a problem for her. She was getting used to it anyway.

Everything changed when Lincoln Loud kissed her.

Before that, she had been picking on him for a long time. He was such an easy target! A nerd boy that hung with the dorkiest losers in school. It was her duty as a rude girl to deal with that type of kids. The truth was, however, that she also had some more personal motives to pick on that particular white-haired boy.

She had been eyeing him for quite a long time. He was pretty dumb, yes, but… somehow, he managed to be cute. She was embarrassed to even think in those terms, but yes, she liked Lincoln loud. Her awkwardness and shyness kept her away from him as long as she could. It wasn't only until he uploaded that video confessing his fantasies with Cristina that Ronnie Anne decided to start messing with him in a more active way. Maybe to try and get a little closer to him. Trying to get him to notice her, whether in a good or in a bad way.

It evidently worked, since after those first two kisses and the double date with their siblings, the two of them became very close friends. Secretly, so no one else would find out and embarrass them, but yes, very close friends without a doubt. He was definitely her best friend, someone she could trust, someone she could rely on. And yes, by now and after the reflections she had in the mall last week before finding out about his condition, she could say without a doubt that he had awoken new feelings inside her. Feelings deeper and more powerful than mere friendship.

Once the living room was presentable enough as to host a special visitor, Ronnie Anne headed to the kitchen. She had promised Lincoln a great breakfast, and under no excuses she would disappoint him. She still recalled that time when he had stayed at her home for breakfast after getting a second chance for them on the egg project. He had spoken with Miss Johnson so Ronnie Anne could get a second chance and avoid a bad grade. He lost the chance of winning a delicious breakfast.

"But that's okay," he told her, "because all I care about now is putting our family back together."

How could someone be so dumb and cute and the same time? Why was it that everything he said made her like him even more? What she loved the most about Lincoln was that, even though he was a dork and he messed up all the time, he would always find a way to fix things up. Always looking for a way to fix his mistakes. That phrase, "put our family back together" had melted her heart. It was like they had truly become a family for the rest of the project. Following Clyde and Penelope's example, the two of them spent the rest of the week together, taking care of the little egg from all harm, taking the time to also talk and get to know each other. Ronnie Anne had never felt happier. She was beginning to wonder if maybe, someday, that little family game could become something real. If there would come the day where the two of them could be together at last.

And now she needed to make her mind on the fact that her dream would never be possible.

It was hard, but she finally managed to focus on her cooking. She didn't want to think about anything else. She didn't want to remember everything that was going on. She allowed her mind to get distracted by the waffle's recipe and to make sure that they would look as tasty as humanly possible. To think about Lincoln had always been a cause of happiness, but now it only brought her pain.

So focused she was on what she was doing that before she even realized how long had passed, someone knocked on the door. Ronnie Anne suddenly found herself anxious. She ran to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror and to make sure that her hair looked alright, that her ponytail wasn't either too tight or too loose and that the sleeves of her hoodie were clean. She removed her apron and ran back to the entry door.

Already resigned to her fast-paced heartbeats and her shaking knees, she hesitated before laying her hand over the doorknob, closed her eyes to get herself ready, she prayed that it wasn't the mailman again —she had lived the most embarrassing moment of her life an hour earlier, when she opened the door without checking and jumping straight into a hug with a complete stranger— and finally opened it.

There he was.

"Hey, Lincoln," she said, giving him a shy smile and barely containing the impulse to wrap herself around him.

"Good morning," he greeted her back, biting his lower lip and looking sheepish.

For God's sake, why did he look so adorable when he was embarrassed? She didn't know why he was all shy; lately, and considering the circumstances, he seemed to have lost a few of his restrictions when it came to showing affection towards her. She assumed it was probably related to the fact that he was wearing a big baseball cap that looked at least two sizes too big for him, covering all his hair. Lincoln was definitely not the sporty type, and the cap looked comically out of place on him.

She would have made fun of him because of it, but she didn't do it this time. Her jokes on him used to be smoke screens to dissimulate the affection she had for him and how much she cherished him. Facades of feelings she wouldn't dare express out loud. Now she simply didn't need to conceal them anymore.

"Wanna come in?" She invited him, stepping aside.

He promptly nodded and stepped into his friend's house. After closing the door behind him, Ronnie Anne simply stood there, playing with her fingers and giving him an intense stare. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

Now that the door was closed, now that no one would see them, that they were the only two souls in the empty house, Ronnie Anne had no motives to contain herself. Without giving him any reaction time, she closed the distance that separated them, wrapping her arms around his chest, resting her head on his right shoulder. Carefully as to not hurt him, considering how fragile and scrawny her friend was, she squeezed him as delicately as possible. She wanted to have him close, to feel his warmth, his heartbeat against her chest.

When he hugged her back, Ronnie Anne felt joyous. It was hard to explain. She was still sad, sorrowful. The painful throbbing slightly on the left side of her chest was still there, turning inside of her like a cold knife, but even so, nothing else mattered. Only the sensation of loving and feeling loved.

Lincoln's arms had a firmer grasp on her than she was used to. She felt his hands closing on her hoodie, almost possessively. She didn't back away until she felt him trembling and heard him sigh, and even then she still left her arms around him.

"What's wrong?"

Lincoln closed his eyes and shook his head, smiling at her.

"No, nothing, I'm sorry, I just… Forget it. How are you?" He asked, using one of his hands to stroke her back.

A few more minutes and she would melt under his touch.

"I'm okay. I was waiting for you."

"Yeah, sorry, my sisters wouldn't let me go."

"O-Oh, yeah… Of course..."

"But I really wanted to see you."

His smile saved the awkward moment. Ronnie Anne couldn't help it but smile him back. Having him so close, it was hard for her to contain herself.

"I didn't know you liked the Yankees," she finally said, pointing a finger at the baseball cap.

"Oh, no, it's just a Percy Jackson reference," he answered with a smug smile like he was making a very clever joke.

She raised a single eyebrow and caused him to roll his eyes.

"If you read the books you'd understand it."

"You're the nerd, lame-o, not me."

"I thought I came here for breakfast, not to get discriminated for what I like."

"We can do both."

After that brief banter, they both started to laugh. It had been a fairly long time since Ronnie Anne had last felt so good, especially during the last week.

"Actually..." he began, quickly losing his smile, "well, I asked Lynn to borrow me this cap."

"Oh."

Ronnie Anne's arms released him from their embrace, almost without realizing it. She averted his gaze.

She didn't like to think about Lynn. She still had a bruise on her chest, and up until a few days, her jaw had been still sore for the right hook the older girl had landed on her. But neither of those things were what hurt her the most. Every single blow she received that afternoon had been deserved. She had earned them after what she'd done with Lincoln. She wasn't even angry at Lynn for beating the crap out of her, the girl was doing what every sister would do for a brother, trying to protect him. She didn't resent her. The wounds would heal soon, but Lynn's last words were still echoing inside Ronnie Anne's mind.

"She doesn't deserve you."

She had spent several nights thinking about those words after the fight. What had she done to deserve someone like Lincoln? She had trouble understanding it. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like she had caused him more trouble and bad moments than happy memories and experiences. Yes, they had spent wonderful afternoons in the arcades, watching movies and simply talking with each other. Even so, she felt like the pranks and all the bad moments completely out-weighted any kind act she had had with him. The worst part of her guilt was that she knew that if she told him how she felt, Lincoln would tell her that she shouldn't have to worry, that he liked her just the way she was.

And that would only confirm that he was too good for her and that, just like Lynn said, Ronnie Anne didn't deserve him.

"Lynn doesn't hate you. You know that, don't you?" Lincoln suddenly asked, boasting his psychic abilities.

"Maybe she should," she grimly whispered.

"Oh, come on. She was… sensible," he cautiously said. "Give her time, I'm sure that sooner or later she'll apologize to you. She's stubborn, dude and somewhat violent, but I'd trust her with my life, and I can assure you that she's, in fact, a kind, sensible girl on the inside. Just like you."

Lincoln's funny tone made her look at him in the eye.

"I told this to her the other day, but I think you two could be very good friends if you gave each other a chance."

She thought he was kidding to try to make her feel better, but there was something in his voice that told her that he was being completely serious about this whole deal. She and Lynn? Friends?

Pfft.

"But listen, I… Well, I need to show you something," Lincoln said after a long pause.

"What is it?"

He stepped back. His eyes moved to the floor as he bit his lower lip and dried the sweat of his hands on his pants. The only time she had seen him so nervous had been when the two of them went to the community pool and she had forced him to jump on the highest trampoline. She started to feel anxious too.

"It's… okay, I don't know if you'll like this, but… I… I don't want to have more secrets."

Now she was positively scared.

"Lincoln, what is it?"

To her confusion, he raised a hand to his head. He quickly removed the baseball cap, and Ronnie Anne suddenly understood.

"L-Lincoln..." she let out, staring at him with her mouth agape, trying to find any excuse to what she was seeing. The lightening on the room, maybe some mud, perhaps she was too tired, but nothing that could convince her that what she was seeing wasn't real.

Lincoln's hair was no longer white.

"Wow, that's… You look good," she said, still trying to walk out of her shock. "But, what happened?"

One of his hands went up to his head to ruffle his hair after being trapped under the cap. It was an absolutely bizarre view. Like he was someone different.

"It's… well… it's complicated."

After the initial impact of seeing Lincoln like this faded away, Ronnie Anne became aware of how anxious her friend looked. She had many, many questions. Something like this couldn't be tossed aside, but the last thing she wanted to do was to make him feel bad or make it awkward for him. She swallowed up everything she wanted to say and instead put on her best smile.

"Tell you what, how about we go and have a nice breakfast and you tell me all about it afterward? I left the waffles in the oven so they wouldn't get cold."

At the prospect of having a delicious breakfast, Lincoln's anxiousness abandoned him, and he was able to smile again.

"Sounds like a plan!" He agreed, turning around and walking into the kitchen.

Ronnie Anne followed him, happy to see him so excited.

She kept glancing at his hair all the while.

"This is the best breakfast I've ever had in my life!" Said Lincoln with his mouth full of waffles, having forgotten all types of manners.

"I know," she simply said with a proud smile, taking in a new mouthful.

He swallowed his meal and drank almost half a glass of juice to help the food go smoothly down his esophagus.

"You do know you don't have to finish it all in five minutes, right?" Ronnie Anne asked him.

"I can't help myself, these are just great!"

"I think you're overreacting. "

"Maybe. But I really, really like them."

"T-Thanks."

After his compliment, Lincoln averted his eyes from his food for a second to look at Ronnie Anne. Her eyes were fixed on her plate, trying to hide the smile that was now crossing her face and the blush that painted her cheeks. He smiled too. He wasn't lying when he said the waffles were great. But he might have just exaggerated a little bit to make her feel better. Being too kind had never hurt anyone, right? It's not like he was lying; he was being overly optimistic.

The two of them were sitting face to face on the kitchen table. The partially open window ventilated the place, letting in a nice breeze to fight back the heat of the oven. Clouds were covering the sky, but even so, the place had a warm, suitable atmosphere. If only he had been brave enough to have taken the initiative and propose these kinds of encounters before… He shook his head to toss that thought away. There was no point in regretting what he had not done. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Although to be honest, Lincoln would have been pretty much happier if Ronnie Anne wouldn't keep stealing glances at his hair every time he was busy eating only to immediately look away the moment he looked up again. That was the only thing that really bothered him. He wanted to believe that she was just waiting for the right moment to ask him about it, so she wouldn't make him uncomfortable. But what if it wasn't like that? What if she hated the change? What if she thought it was stupid? What if he told her his reasons and she didn't like it anyway?

Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't she be delighted with it? Why not even his own sisters had reacted the way he hoped they would? Only Lynn, Leni and Lola looked a little bit excited about his new hair. Why did no one else comment on it?

Did no one understand how fucking important this was for him?

"You know, this is the second time I make waffles for you, but you haven't cooked for me, not even a single time," Ronnie Anne noticed, derailing his train of thoughts.

Lincoln looked up, but she was busy looking at her fork. He sighed, relieved. For a moment he feared that she had seen his face as those thoughts tormented him. He put his smile back on. By now it was really easy for him to fake it.

"That can be arranged. But I'm warning you: after you try my breakfasts, you may stop being so proud of yours," he teased.

"You're setting yourself a very high bar," she warned. "Are you sure you're not gonna come short?"

"Do I smell a challenge?"

"Only if you dare."

Their little banter helped to turn his fake smile into an honest one. Ronnie Anne was simply amazing. She was rough, aggressive, competitive and she had trouble expressing her feelings, but Lincoln had an older sister just like her, and he knew that if one tried hard enough to see beyond the cover, they'd find themselves face to face with someone worth knowing, someone you could spend some wonderful times with.

His mind then remembered a little detail. Ronnie Anne's words reminded him of something.

"Hey, do you remember Toby?"

"Roshell?"

"The egg," he said, and they both giggled.

"What about him?" She asked, and Lincoln realized she looked… flustered?

"Oh, nothing. I just remembered that was the first time we had breakfast together."

"Yeah… it's true."

That apathy was the polar opposite of the reaction he had hoped to generate on her. His fist clenched around the knife. He just wanted her to remember a cute moment between them! Why was she reacting like this? She was supposed to smile, they would both talk about the project and the meal would be so much better. Not this. Now she was fixed on her plate, not paying him much attention.

How could it be that lately none of his plans, not even the simplest and stupidest of them all —like redirecting a conversation—, would turn out the way he expected?

"Hey," she called him, barely lifting up her gaze to look at him, "have you finished?"

Lincoln looked at his plate. There was still half a waffle in there.

"Yeah, I think I'm done," he lied.

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

Ronnie Anne stood up and walked into the hall. Lincoln followed her, eyes slightly squinted. What could she possibly want to show him? His interest spiked up when she didn't turn around into the living room, but she headed into one of the doors to the right. A sign that read "DANGER: NO NOT BURST IN" adorned the wooden door. He raised his eyebrows. Were they…?

She put a hand on the doorknob and, before turning it, glared him with a killing stare.

"If you make any funny remark I'll twist your underwear around your head so hard that the name you sewed into them will be marked in your forehead," she coldly told him.

"I don't put my name in my underwear!" He quickly retorted, very self-aware of the fact that he, in fact, did put his name on his undies.

His friend's smile let him know that there was no use in lying. She then opened the door and stepped inside. Lincoln followed her lead, and once inside, his eyes tried to absorb every single detail of Ronnie Anne's room.

It felt… odd, being there. He had spent half his life inside one of his many sister's rooms. Girl bedrooms were no secret for him. He had even been inside Tabby's room a few days ago. Knowing that this room was Ronnie Anne's, though, with everything she meant to him, he felt different just by standing there, knowing that he was experiencing her own personal space. He tried to catch every detail, every square inch. It wasn't precisely big, it seemed smaller than some of his sister's rooms, but having it all for herself, she had filled the place with her stuff.

The carpet was a strong purple, her favorite color. Several skateboards decorated the wall behind her bed, including one that was broken in half. The rest of the walls were covered in posters of different athletes, one of SMOOCH, and one from another band with some devil horns and a lightning between the letters. Luna would probably recognize it. The closet door wasn't open, but there were Christmas lights hanging from it around several family pictures. He couldn't inspect them closely, but a quick look told him that Ronnie Anne seemed to have a big family too. Her bed had nothing special, with only a nightstand to the right that had a light and a picture on it. There was also a desk with some books from school, and finally, a case filled with random stuff, such as even more pictures, her headphones, her video games collection, a little nest with Toby Roshell II in it, and what seemed like a piggy bank with some-

Wait a minute.

"Wow," he said, heading to the case. "Is that Toby?"

There were no doubts. That hand-drawn face, those funny teeth, that was definitely the same egg both of them had taken care of. Ronnie Anne most delicately grabbed the nest and carried it to the bed. She sat there and lifted Toby, inspecting him.

"I know it's silly, but after we were done with the assignment I asked Miss Johnson if I could keep him," she admitted, not daring to look at him in the eye. "It's hard to explain, but… I don't know, I guess I just got a bit… attached, or whatever. I don't know..."

Lincoln sat beside her. He extended his hand as if asking for permission, and she handed him Toby.

"I had no idea," he simply said, stroking the little egg before putting the same baby voice he used to talk with Lily. "I'm so, so sorry Toby Roshell, you must hate your papa for not being here with you."

Ronnie Anne chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure he knows his papa loves him."

"Of course. I love all my family."

Family. That's how he had referred to them long ago. It was part of the assignment to act like one. And yet, even though neither of them knew it at the time, behind that game some very strong emotions and wishes were hidden. There was a hope behind the acting, the hope that it might not be as fake as it should have been.

Lincoln put the egg on the nest once again and turned his head to look at Ronnie Anne. Both of them were sitting next to each other on the bed, separated by one pathetic foot. Too many things were flowing through his mind at that instant. A mix of deep, complex emotions he was just beginning to discover. Emotions that he had felt before but that lately, just like everything in his life, had gained a new meaning. That tingling sensation in his stomach when he was with her. Those nerves that manifested in his sweaty hands and his trembling legs. All of that caused solely by Ronnie Anne's presence.

The silence between them stretched time. An instant turned into an eternity, or perhaps an eternity contained in a single instant. A look. A feeling.

He would've loved to be a little braver, enough to maybe smile at her, say the right words and turn the distance between them into nothing. He wished he knew how to react, what was right and what was wrong. He tried to come up with a plan, to think about what he should do. Change the topic? Reminisce about the homework with Toby? Explain to her that finding out about that new side of her had been the last push he needed to realize that he liked her more than as a friend? Or should he just skip all words and kiss her?

His moment of hesitation was all she needed, raising a hand and placing it on the boy's confused expression. That gentle stroke on his cheek lasted only a few seconds before Ronnie Anne's fingers slithered up, tangling themselves with the brown hair. He felt her fingers caressing his temples, and saw how his friend's eyes moved away from his and focused on the new color of his hair.

"I know you," she said, her voice soft and gentle. "You're nervous."

"N-No I'm n-not," he stammered. He thought she would make a joke about it, but she looked too worried to make fun of him.

"Why did you do it?" She asked, and she tenderly moved her free hand over Lincoln's.

He sighed. Of course, he knew he'd had to tell her. He was hoping that maybe she could figure it out on her own, that she could realize his motivation without him having to say it out loud. Evidently, that had not been the case, and he had no other option but to resign himself to explain it. Without diving into many details, he explained to her as clearly as possible the effects the tumors on his head had on the color of his hair. As he was explaining it, his eyes lost focus, and he was lost in his own thoughts.

He told her all about the previous day. About how every moment he spends at his house was both a blessing and a curse. He told her about the pain of his sisters, about how useless he was when it came to making them feel better, about his failed attempts to do something nice for them, to save them from their spiraling depression, about the desperation he felt for not being able to do anything right. He was slightly conscious about Ronnie Anne's anguished face, but he paid no mind to it. By the time he reached the point of when he found himself staring at his own reflection on the bathroom mirror, Lincoln was clenching his fists, trying to keep his emotions from exploding.

"I couldn't take it anymore," he confessed. "I was about to just cut all my hair, but… I couldn't do it. I didn't dare. So instead I asked Leni to help me dye it. So I shouldn't have to see it white ever again."

He had so many things to say. He could've explained to her how angry he was at the fact that his whole life had been nothing but a lie, that destiny had just pulled the best prank ever on him. A giant sign, telling everyone that there was something wrong with him, and no one had ever given it much attention. No one detected it when there was still time. He got infuriated just by thinking of that.

"I see," Ronnie Anne said after Lincoln's pause. "And how did your sisters react?"

She was blissfully unaware of the fact that she had just poured salt on the wound. Lincoln didn't really want to talk about it, but now that she had brought it up…

"I don't know. Leni was more than willing to help me, and she seemed to be into it, but… but I just don't know what to think of her. I don't know if she understands what's going on with me, or if she realizes how messed up this whole situation is. And I don't want to ask her about it because the truth is that we're having some great times. We play, we talk, she still treats me… she treats me like I'm still alive."

"Lincoln..."

"And honestly, I have no idea about what the rest of them thought," he interrupted her. "No one told me straight on my face that they disliked it, but they didn't say they loved it either. Only Lola and Lynn, but Lynn would say anything to make me feel better. I know them. They're my sisters, I know when they're trying to hide something from me, and yesterday during dinner… They would all stare at me when they thought I was distracted. But I saw them. I saw the way they looked at me. Just like you do."

He didn't mean to sound so aggressive. He didn't intend for his words to be so poisonous. It wasn't his intention that Ronnie Anne would gasp and look at him shocked and hurt by his remark. That's not what he wanted, but the more he talked, the easier words slipped his mouth, and the harder it was for him to control his emotions.

"Listen, I don't—"

"Don't try to hide it," he cut her again, turning his head away from her, frowning. "Ever since I got here you've been staring at me like I'm a monster."

"A monster? Of course not!"

"Then why do you look at me like that? Why won't you tell me what you really think?"

"Lincoln, calm down, it's not like that," she begged, her voice full of sorrow.

He didn't care. He didn't want compassion or fake smiles. This was important for him! The least he deserved was a little bit of honesty.

"What is it, then?" He asked, suddenly jumping up and standing in front of her, staring at her scared figure down below, and for the first time since they met, it was him who intimidated her. "Why won't you tell me what you really think?"

"I… I mean..."

"This is me! This is who I was supposed to be!" He yelled, roughly closing his fingers around his hair. "This is the real me! Why can't anyone accept me this way?!"

"Because you're such an idiot!"

It was neither the insult nor the sudden hug what startled Lincoln and brought him back to reality. It was Ronnie Anne's tears what extinguished the raging ire inside of him, for no matter how enraged, terrified, fatigued or depressed he was, a girl's crying would always wake his brotherly instinct. It was only then when he noticed his agitated breathing and how fast and hard his heart was beating, just like he had just run ten miles.

"You're wrong!" Ronnie Anne said, burying her face in Lincoln's chest, soaking it all over where her eyes would rest. "Do you really think this is you? That your hair defines you? D'you think we… we… we'd like you less because of it?"

"It's not like that," he replied, slightly surprised at her outburst. "I told you; I just couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror and fell like… And to think..."

He started to feel it. The void inside his chest. The itch in his eyes. The same emptiness that surrounded him every time he was home alone, that same depression that he tried to avoid by keeping himself busy with anything. Pushing that feeling aside required great concentration on his part, a conscious effort to never stop to think and find himself trapped in his own spiral of misery.

He didn't think it was possible to feel it around other people. Any type of conversation usually helped to distract him and keep him busy, happy, sad, angry, anything but that dreadful sensation of feeling a cold grasp around his heart. He shut his eyes closed and tried to control his breathing. 'Not now, please,' he pleaded.

"All this time, I… That... That white hair… It was all a lie! I thought it made me special! Different! But just… It just… It meant I was sick! Don't you get it? It was all an illusion, my whole life was a lie!"

"You're an idiot!" She yelled, closing her fists on his shirt, pulling him towards her. "A lie? A lie?!"

"It was!" He said, raising his voice to match hers.

Somehow, to be mad and scream helped him. It was easier and healthier for him to be angry than to stop thinking about his life. She then pulled back from him and stared at him with her mouth agape and hurt eyes. She let him go and took a step back, and suddenly it became all the more difficult for him to stay mad at her.

"So," she began, slowly, "you and me. Was that a lie too?"

A professional boxer could have hit him in the face with all his strength and Lincoln would have hardly reacted any different than he did after soaking in those words. On the bright side, he wasn't worried about his depression, mortality or the countdown to his premature end anymore. Those issues were no longer a worry for him, only Ronnie Anne's words tormented him. And it was hard to determine which hurt the most.

"I d-don't… I-I… didn't say that," he stammered.

"Everything we've been through, the things you told me, the things I told you. The laughs. The jokes. The kisses. Are you saying none of that was real?"

"Of course they were real!"

"What about your sisters? All the things you lived with them. Was that all a lie too?"

"Don't say that!" He said, horrified at her words. "It's not like that! It's not…! I don't…! Ugh!"

He couldn't stand looking at her in the eye. He turned around and walked to the nearest wall. He pressed his hands against it like he was the only thing keeping it from falling down. He let his head drop between his arms, looking at the floor.

This morning wasn't going nearly close as he had wished it would. By now he shouldn't be surprised that his plans were failing spectacularly since lately everything he did seemed to turn out horribly wrong. He just wanted to hang out with Ronnie Anne, to talk to her, to laugh along, maybe play some video games. If he was lucky, he would have even tried to fulfill one of his objectives on his bucket list and kiss her. But he had never imagined that they would end up having a fight. No one seemed to get angry at him lately. For someone who had grown up in the middle of an endless conflict between siblings, it was strange finding himself out of any type of fight for so long. He didn't know how to feel about Ronnie Anne getting angry at him. Furious… or thankful.

"Lincoln," she called behind him, and now she didn't sound mad. "I can't imagine what you feel and what's going through your head right now. What you're living right now… I-I can't even say it..."

He guessed she was about to cry, and that's why she had stopped. He was about to turn around and go back into his comfort role. Leave behind all that was bothering him and concentrate his energies on helping her feel better. That was another way of distracting himself, a strategy he had been using with his sisters every day since this whole deal began, and so far it was working out alright. If he focused himself on making sure that everyone else was right, if he invested all his energies into bringing some kind of a relief to everyone else but him, then he could forget about his problems, fears, worries, and desperation for a while.

He was ready to turn around and offer her a shoulder to cry on to, but she was faster. Lincoln felt her arms closing around his chest from behind. He felt Ronnie Anne's chest against his back, and her forehead pressed against his neck.

"This sucks, okay?" She whispered in his ear. "It's… terrible. Horrible. I wake up every morning and I… I always think it was a just a nightmare, but it never is. But Lincoln, this… this doesn't mean that everything you lived was in vain. Your family will always love you. Clyde will remember everything you guys did for the rest of his life. And I… I'll always remember you too. Always."

His arms lost their strength and they fell limp to his sides. He remained standing on his feet, Ronnie Anne embracing him from behind as he soaked the carpet on the floor one tear at a time. They were like that for God-only-knows how long, until her arms made him turn around in his place so they would be face to face. Both of them looked terrible, with their bloodshot eyes and damp cheeks. He instinctively raised a hand and wiped a tear away from her eye. She closed her eyes for a second and leaned her head against his hand, prolonging the contact. When her eyelids opened again, it was her time to raise a hand and guide it towards her friend's hair, playing with a lock of it.

"I'm not mad that you've dyed your hair; I think it looks kinda cute," she finally said. "I'm just worried that you say that 'this is the real Lincoln' because that's not true at all. The real Lincoln isn't there..."

Her fingers let go of the small lock of his brown hair and slithered down his face, gently caressing his cheek, his chin, his neck, and finally resting on his chest.

"...it's right here."

This time he was the one that pulled her into a new hug. They both wrapped their arms around each other, holding the other one tightly as if they didn't want to ever let go. Lincoln had to use all his strength to avoid breaking down into a weeping crying, and he barely managed to do so. At some point, she guided him onto the bed, and there they stayed, embraced together until he calmed down a bit.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, breaking their union just enough for him to use his forearm to wipe his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't… I didn't want to..."

"It's okay," she told him, following his lead and using her hoodie to dry her cheeks. "You don't need to-"

"Yes, I do. All this… This… What I'm going through isn't an excuse to treat you like I did."

"You're wonderful, but you're still human, Lincoln. You have the right to be mad."

"Not at you."

"If you don't stop apologizing I'll give you a painful reason to be mad at me."

He couldn't stop a grin to appear on his face.

"Ronnie Anne, I'm really glad to be your friend."

"Me too," she said, his smile spreading on her as well.

They were still less than ten inches away, their arms holding each other, enjoying every second of contact. His mood haltingly started to improve. Having screamed, cried and pardoned, as strange as it sounds, had drained his energies and therefore calmed him down in the end. He still felt his heart numb, but somehow there was a little weight off his shoulders. Ronnie Anne's hands released him and they moved until they were over his, interlacing their fingers together, their gazes eyes meeting midair.

"It makes me happy to know that I'm your friend," she repeated. "Up until just a few days ago, that was all I wanted. All I was willing to accept. But now… I don't know if I can settle for just that."

Lincoln gulped, and his drool went down his throat like he had just swallowed a piece of a meteor. Even with his flooded mind, all the stress he was carrying on, and the fact that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he was still able to understand what she meant.

"Ronnie Anne… I, uh..."

"What do you feel?" She interrupted him. "For me."

Had his hands had been free, he would have scratched the back of his head, but Ronnie Anne had quite a firm grasp on him, and she didn't seem like she was willing to let him go. What did he feel about her? That was a big question. Not so much because of the answer's complexity, he had it pretty clear by now, but because he felt like he had to be extremely careful with his words. Given the situation, telling what he truly felt or thought didn't seem like the smartest move. Even if part of him was screaming that he should do it anyway and confess his feelings, even if his heart was beating twice as fast in anticipation, he couldn't do it. It wasn't fair.

"I really like being with you," he admitted, telling only half the truth. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

"Is that it?"

For God's sake, those eyes! How could he lie to those perfect orbs, the brightest light spots in a universe that had been reduced to them and nothing else? All his anger, frustration, depression and anguish disappeared, buried down by a single emotion that irradiated warm waves all across his body to the rhythm of the heartbeats in his chest. Since when was she so pretty? Since when being with her had become such an intense experience? Why did he felt like his blood had been replaced with a scalding liquid that flowed within him, relieving his grief and making his worries seem harmless?

"Don't do this," he pleaded, trying to break the eye contact, to run away from her spell to gain back his consciousness and do not what he wanted, but what was best for them.

Ronnie Anne's hands found their way to his face and forced him to look at her. Her eyes were more intense than he had ever seen them before. She was known for intimidating even the toughest boys in school, but those eyes could have thawed the coldest heart. She pursed her lips for a second, setting up a bomb, and when she dropped it, it was all over for Lincoln.

"I love you."

Three words he had heard a million times before. His whole family kept saying that to him. Lori, Lynn, and Lucy were the most reluctant to speak to him on those terms, but they couldn't go longer than a few days without looking for an excuse to let him know just how much they loved him. It was such a commonly used phrase that he thought it might have lost the weight it was supposed to carry.

If that was the case, hearing it coming from Ronnie Anne changed his mind. It helped him rediscover the power behind three words. Eight letters. Less than a second to say them, but they were enough to cause a permanent impact to anyone on the receiving end.

He was dumbstruck. He didn't know how to answer, not even how to react. They had never been so… so open about their feelings. They always tried to hide them, conceal them behind uninterested attitudes, behind teasing banters that had no other motive than to keep pretending that they didn't really love each other. He could count on a hand how many times they had felt comfortable enough to show to each other a bit more than what they were willing to admit in public.

Not even in their most intimate moments, however, had either of them be brave enough to dare say that word. Love. To say that was a direct attack against the false masquerade they had set up about their relationship. It meant they were willing to bury the farce that they were just friends who enjoyed each others company. How could he answer to such a declaration?

"Ronnie Anne..."

"I love you, Lincoln," she said, every syllable drenched with emotion. "I never told you b-because… I don't know, I don't think even I was ready to accept it. But I love you, and I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"I-I… Wow… I mean..."

"Don't you feel the same?" She asked, interrupting his attempts to formulate a coherent sentence.

He wanted to escape that predicament. He wanted to come up with a clever answer that would give him time to recover from the emotional impact this conversation was having on him. He wanted to play it down. But Ronnie Anne's eyes were expectantly looking at him, waiting for an answer, and he just couldn't lie to her.

"Yes. I… I love you too."

The huge grin on her face was almost as relieving for him as the sensation of feeling that the weight of the world no longer rested on his shoulders. He didn't know just how much he needed to confess his true feelings to ease his consciousness. He didn't even know he wanted to admit it so bad! It was the same sensation he felt when he finally told her mom the truth about what had happened to her novel. Telling the truth after so long felt amazing.

Even so, a big part of him was still reluctant to this whole deal.

"Ronnie Anne, I do love you, but this… this isn't right," he said, almost in a whisper, his head turning away from her.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not fair."

Her hand grabbed him by his chin and moved him back to face her.

"Explain."

Lincoln sighed. Now that they were being honest with each other, she deserved to know what he truly thought.

"Look, I… I've felt like this for you for a long time, okay? A long, long time. When you almost moved to the big city I realized that I love you in a different way than I love Clyde, or Liam, or even Cristina and Paige."

"Paige? Who the hell is Paige?" Asked Ronnie Anne, squinting her eyes.

"My point is that you became a special someone for me," he immediately continued, "but..."

"But what?"

"It's just that I never had the guts to ask you to be my girlfriend, okay?" He finally admitted, opening up his eyes and glaring at her; it was her fault that he was telling her all of this. "I was afraid that you would tell me that you only liked me as a friend, and I didn't want to ruin our relationship. And you never said anything either!"

"You say that like you're reproaching me," she defended herself, her eyebrows pursed in an angry gesture. "You know I have trouble sharing how I feel… I'm not the best one showcasing my feelings, you know… And I also didn't want to ruin what we had, because I just loved it the way we were."

"That's my point," he pointed out, "neither of us wanted to take this to the next level. We didn't want to take it further. And now just…? Just because I'm dying we decide it's a good time to say we love each other? That can't be right! We can't just become a thing only 'cause I'm sick! It's stupid, it's-!"

Ronnie Anne suddenly stroked Lincoln's right cheek, and it was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped on him. The boy's eyes —which had lost their focus seconds ago and were looking at nothing— were drawn back to her face, and a sense of embarrassment invaded him. He almost went blind with rage again, unloading all his pent-up frustrations on her. If she hadn't calmed him with that simple, tender gesture, he would have started to yell at her for no reason.

Lincoln was worried. He couldn't keep acting like that. That was almost the third time that morning in which he had lost control. Why was he going through this lately? He had also gotten really angry at the twins the day before, and he wasn't proud at all for that. He was starting to feel always on the edge. He lived anxiously, everything seemed to be about to trigger him. That was not the Lincoln Loud he wanted to be, and the thought scared him.

Especially because the last thing he wanted was to make the people he loved suffer for him. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to chill out. Without him realizing it, his right hand moved and placed itself over the hand Ronnie Anne still had on his cheek. His fingers began drawing circles on the back of her palm, and ever so slowly, he managed to relax.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his eyes still closed.

"Don't worry. I understand."

He open opened up his eyes and saw how worried his friend looked, but he could also see on her face that she was there for him, that she really understood him.

"Lincoln, you're overthinking this," she calmly told him with a shy smile. "You're trying to find some logic to all of this. You're wondering if it's okay for us to say all these things now if we didn't do it before, if it's appropriate to do this knowing what's going to happen, and I know you're probably thinking whether this is the best for me instead of us."

He muffled a snicker, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Guilty as charged," he clumsily admitted, and both of them giggled at his dorkiness.

"But listen, stop thinking so much, okay? Don't look for a logic behind this. Don't try to think of what's best or what do you feel like you have to do for other people. I think you owe yourself to do what you feel. So just forget about everything. Forget your… condition, forget the future, forget everything. Don't think. Just tell me, here and now, what do you feel?"

Everything. Lincoln felt an infinite amount of emotions. Desperation and anger for knowing he was going to die soon. Deception for his behavior on the last couple of days. A huge anguish for thinking about all the chances he had missed to be with Ronnie Anne without having to reach this point. Gratitude, because she was the only person that had treated him like a regular person this last week, the only one who had stood her ground against him and made him realize how much of a jerk he was acting like.

Most importantly, though, he felt love. He was only eleven years old, and he knew that he couldn't really know what real love was supposed to feel like. This was a new experience for him. But whether it was love or not, there was no denying that what he felt for Ronnie Anne was something incredibly powerful.

"I feel that I love you," he honestly answered her.

Looking directly at her eyes, he could see them starting to glow with the moist of tears getting ready to fall as she quickly blinked to delay them.

"And tell me, lame-o, would you like to be my boyfriend?" She asked with the warmest smile he had ever seen.

He kept staring at her. He found it funny that it was her who asked him to be her boyfriend, although that certainly summarized their whole dynamic. All those thoughts were tossed aside as soon as he once again began to consider all the implications this would have for what little time he had left.

"Don't think," she reminded him, "just say what you feel."

It was hard to follow that advice. What good could it possibly do to become an item if their relationship couldn't last more than a month? What was the purpose of that? His rational part was screaming at him that it was a bad idea, almost like pouring salt on the wound. His mind said no, but Lincoln decided to follow Ronnie Anne's advice and for once he listened not to his head, but his heart. And just by feeling the thundering beats inside his chest he knew the answer.

"Yes," he said, with a goofy smile. "I'd like to be your boyfriend. That'd be cool."

His frie- No, his girlfriend laughed at just how adorable and dumb he could be, and with teary eyes, she hugged him once again, pressing her face into the crook of Lincoln's neck. He wrapped his arms around her and he had to admit that, after all, listening to his heart felt good. Really good.

The die was cast, he had made a decision that he couldn't take back now. For better or worse, the truth had been revealed, their feelings exposed, received and reciprocated. Whether that had been the best decision of his life or his worst mistake, he didn't know. The only thing he knew was that he had not lied when he said Ronnie Anne was a very important part of his life and that, even though he wasn't sure if it was love or not, what he felt for her was such an intense emotion that he didn't think he would regret accepting.

Holding her in his arms, Lincoln stopped feeling weak and miserable, he no longer felt that terrible pressure on his chest nor he heard the annoying voice inside his head reminding him that the hands on the clock he carried on his wrist were still moving, and what that meant for him. The only thing that mattered was the scent of shampoo on his girlfriend's hair, her breathing on his neck, and the two fingers she was using to play with a lock of his brown hair. It was only then when he finally understood what people meant when they talked about "their better half, because being there with Ronnie Anne, he realized that she completed him.

He almost felt bad when she moved away from him enough to look at him. When their eyes met, it was like a tender caressing, like their souls were touching. And as soon as her eyes darted barely down, onto his lips, he knew what to do.

"You were right. The other day, at the mall, I mean," he said, forcing her to look up one more time.

"About what?"

"I never asked before I kissed you. Should I fix that?"

She laughed and moved her head forward, pressing her forehead against his, their noses touching. It was fantastic that even in moments like that one they could find motives to laugh and tease the other one.

"I don't know, so far it's been working for you," she answered. "Besides, let's be honest..."

She carefully turned her head and ever so slowly she found the right angle. One of Lincoln's hands moved all the way up from her waist to her neck, resting behind her head, ready to keep her locked in place until Kingdom Come if he had to. They both closed their eyes and just waited, holding their breath. Lincoln felt the painfully slow advance of his girlfriend until their lips were at the limit of what could be considered separate.

And when she spoke, it was like she was whispering inside of him.

"….you already know my answer."

She moved one final bit and their lips met on their first kiss as a couple.

Every single one of the three kisses the young kids had shared before that one had been special and wonderful in one way or another, but they had nothing on this fourth kiss. Both of them were totally immersed in it, enjoying the soft touch of their lips. Every neuron on his brain was focused on the task of getting all the details of Ronnie Anne's mouth against his, feeling how their lips locked perfectly. The warm sensation on his chest returned with the strength of a radiant sun, their union as the epicenter of their universe.

He was still discovering new sensations, emotions he had never experienced before, like a tingle that shook his whole body. It felt like all his cells were charged with energy. Not knowing what to do with the rest of his body, he only managed to raise the soft pressure of his hands, one on her neck and one on the waist of his brand-new girlfriend. He felt her exhaling, a sigh caught in their kiss, and that made him love her even more.

As soon as it began it was over, and both kids had to pull back to catch their breath and recover from the intense experience. Or at least that's what he tried to do, but his lungs had barely changed the air when Ronnie Anne charged back, her arms going around his neck and sealing her lips against his. Lincoln was taken aback one more time. He wasn't prepared for a second kiss so soon after the first one. Didn't they need to have a pause between kisses? His inexperience didn't help, but after a second of doubt, he surrendered to the happiness and pleasure he felt by being so close to her. If that's what she wanted, he was more than willing to comply.

His girlfriend's warmth surrounded him, and her kisses sweetened with the waffle's caramel became a temptation he couldn't resist. Without thinking, all his effort was put in attacking her lower lip, seizing it between his own and giving it as much love as he could. When he felt Ronnie Anne's fingers closing around his hair, he realized he was doing something right. And honest to God, it did feel right.

They ran out of breath once again, but this time they barely interrupted their kiss, just long enough to breathe in as much as they could, and then they resumed their passionate dance.

After a few minutes, Lincoln noticed how his face got damp with Ronnie Anne's tears. He couldn't know what was going through her mind at the moment, but he imagined that she probably had a mess of emotions inside of her just like he did. Instead of moving away from her, he just kissed her more desperately. His lips pressed harder against hers, and his hands stopped being so static and pulled her in against him. Her answer was immediate. She doubled up her assault on his senses, with a thirst for his love that would have intimidated him in any other context.

At that moment, though, as he fell behind on the bed due to her passion and her lips kept taking him to places he never knew existed, Lincoln decided that he was more than ready to face anything just to show his girlfriend how much he loved her.

"Okay," said Lincoln, using Lynn's baseball cap to wipe the sweat out of his forehead. "Are you ready?"

He turned his head to look at Ronnie Anne. Her face was white, her eyes lost in the nothingness, and she was squeezing Lincoln's hand so hard that the boy was sure that she would snap his fingers any moment now.

"Of course," she said, gulping and turning to look at him. "Are you?"

He could only chuckle, trying to relax.

"Not at all," he admitted.

"So what do we do?"

"We just accept whatever happens."

She didn't seem particularly delighted by his answer, but she knew there was no way around this. They both breathed in, puffed their chest, and got ready for one of the scariest moments in their lives. With one last look at his partner, Lincoln finally opened the front door of his house, and they marched in. They knew what they were exposing themselves to, walking inside holding hands, but one of the many things they talked about throughout the morning was that they didn't want to have a secret relationship. No more. They wanted the whole world to know that they were together because they didn't have anything to hide. That came with a little inconvenient, but if they were lucky, they might reach Lincoln's room without being spotted, and once there they cou—

"Lincoln!"

Lana called out his name the moment he crossed the door, and just like that, their hopes of reaching upstairs without being seen were lost.

Lincoln resignedly turned to his left, only to find that all his sisters sans Lisa, Luna, and Luan were in the living room. Leni, Lori, and Lynn were on the couch, apparently watching TV. Lola was sitting on the floor against their legs, hugging her knees. Lucy was laying on the individual sofa, staring at the roof. Lily was playing with her blocks on the floor, and Lana was running at him, ready to jump into a koala hug.

The little plumber stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted Ronnie Anne. The rest of the girls, after hearing that their brother had returned, almost snapped her necks with how fast they moved their heads, and they were all shocked to see him holding hands with a girl. And not any girl. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne gulped and they stood there, waiting as all the girls got on their feet and slowly approached them, stopping ten feet away from them. Most of them looked confused. Leni was the only one openly smiling. Lori tried to do the same, but her red eyes told Lincoln that she wasn't ready to smile just yet. The once white-haired boy saw on the corner of his eye that Ronnie Anne looked away and squeezed his hand tighter, and he quickly realized that Lynn was shooting daggers with her gaze at his girlfriend.

After a pregnant silence, Luan came walking from the kitchen, wearing a cream-stained apron.

"Did someone say Linc—?" She began, stopping deadpan mid-sentence just as her sisters when she saw her little brother and the girl standing right next to him.

The silence returned, and Lincoln began to feel his nerves boiling up inside him, crackling like a fireplace threatening to set everything on fire. He knew what was about to happen, and that terrified him. It was inevitable, though, and he decided that the best thing to do was to just go through it as fast as possible.

"G-Guys?" He began, sweat coming down his forehead. "L-Let me introduce you to Ronnie Anne—"

"Lincoln, we know who she is," said Lola, all the love and sadness of her eyes tossed aside for a moment so she could talk to him like he was an idiot.

He loved hearing her like that again.

"Yeah, I know, but… She, uh..." Ronnie Anne squeezed his hand again, and when he looked back at her, he realized she was giving him a shy smile. "Well, now she's… she's… my girlfriend."

He knew what would happen. He knew. He feared it. His anxiousness was caused because he knew what was going to happen after his confession. Knowing what he was walking into, though, didn't help him at all when a minute after a deathly silence, the eight girls started to let out unrestrained shrieks and squeals. It sounded like a flock of eagles roaring as they went down against a poor, defenseless rabbit. Only that their screech was longer, louder, and way more harmful to his ears.

He and his girlfriend just looked at each other with a resigned, warm smile as all the girls bounced on the floor, ran in circles, raised their arms to the air, and basically acted like the insane girls they were. Even Lynn was shrilling like she was trying to break all the glasses on their block, which seemed to ease Ronnie Anne's nerves a little. The brand-new couple was blushing as hard as they could, but it was somehow comforting knowing that they were so excited.

It wasn't until they ran out of air for the third time —the first two times they just breathed in before resuming— that they ran against the two kids, grabbed them by their arms and dragged them unceremoniously to the couch, were they dropped them before sitting in front of them with goofy smiles across their faces and excited eyes.

It was time for the interrogation to begin.

"O-M-GOSH, tell us!" Said Leni, barely containing her emotions.

"Tell you what?" Asked Lincoln.

"EVERYTHING!" The twins squealed at the same time, their eyes glowing like a four-stars constellation.

He nervously laughed and shared a very embarrassed look with his girlfriend. He was more than willing to tell them about how they realized that they loved each other, but he didn't want to have to tell all the details about every kiss like he knew they'd ask him to.

"Well, we can't tell you EVERYTHING," he hurriedly said, feeling his cheeks getting warmer.

"He's embarrassed!" Lynn pointed out with a wicked smile.

"That means that something big literally happened!" Added Lori, shaking with excitement. "Now we really need to know EVERYTHING!"

After a new outburst from them all, his sisters started talking and asking questions at the same time, drowning them in an ocean of confusion. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne exchanged a new look, and after he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes, they both started to laugh. Coyly at first, raising their volume soon enough.

"They're laughing together!" Said Luan with a dreamy tone.

"They're so cute!" Squealed Leni.

"Ok, ok, stop!" Ordered Lori with a big smile, and everyone shut up. "Lincoln, go upstairs and bring Luna. She. Can. Not. Miss. THIS!"

"Why me?"

"Because we want to talk with our sister-in-law!"

They all nodded, agreeing with Lori's plan. Ronnie Anne desperately looked at him, begging him to stay with her.

"Fair enough," he said, though, standing up.

"Fair enough?!" She reproached him, not believing what she had just heard.

"We both know we don't have a saying in this," he excused himself, still holding her hand. "The sooner we're done here, the sooner we can go to my room and—"

"Your room?!" Lynn screamed, and she and the rest of the older sisters began to giggle.

"...and read comics! Read!" He finished, with his face as red as Lynn's shorts. With one last apologetic look at Ronnie Anne, he finally let go of her hand and walked into the stairs.

The silence, once he got to the first floor, helped him ease his thoughts. He consciously decided to walk slowly, moving like a snail, just so he could have some extra moments to think. This whole situation was too weird. It wasn't even noon, yet all the things that had happened in the few hours since he had woke up were so big and important that it seemed to had been a lot more time than it actually was. That couple of hours he spent at Ronnie Anne's house had been some of the happiest of his entire life. He had managed to completely forget that he was dying; for a little while, he felt more alive than ever.

And now, back at his home and being with his sisters, that sense of fullness and happiness was extinguished like a candle flame trapped in a sealed bottle; fighting against the lack of oxygen, trying to resist but fading away with every passing second. Lori's red eyes had been pretty eloquent. His eldest sister had been crying. And he just knew she hadn't been the only one. They were all waiting for him in the living room, and how he had found them spoke a lot about their emotional state. Lynn sitting on the couch without any balls to play with? Lola kneeling on the dirty carpet with no makeup nor teacups? He knew them, and seeing them like that hurt him like hell.

He just wanted to see them happy. He knew he was asking too much, he knew it, he wasn't stupid, but he just couldn't stand seeing them like that. He needed them to be strong for him, to help him go through this, but none of them was ready for such a herculean task.

His moment of reflection came to an end when he found himself facing Luna's bedroom door. He knocked a couple of times, but after hearing no answer, he decided to get in any way.

"Luna?" He called for her, peeking his head inside.

What he saw was hopeful and somber at the same time. On one hand, Lincoln found himself looking at his older sister sitting on her desk against the window, the one she used to make her music, and she was wearing headphones. He couldn't help but be happy to see her listening to music again. After that night when she smashed her guitar against the floor, Lincoln hadn't heard her playing an instrument or listening to music. It was nice seeing her going back to her favorite hobby, but it was also depressing to see her hunched over, her face hidden behind her hands, with several tissues on her desk.

He sighed and cleared his mind. He couldn't be depressed right now, he couldn't allow himself to be weak if one of his sisters needed him. He had to be there for her.

He walked closer until he was right next to her. She didn't listen to him, and her closed eyes didn't see him either. The loud music got to Lincoln even though she was wearing headphones. What he heard wasn't exactly pleasant.

How can you just walk away from mewhen all I can do is watch you leave?Cuz we shared the laughter and the painAnd even share the tearsYou're the only one who really knew me at all

Not standing the situation any longer, Lincoln put a hand on Luna's right shoulder. His sister jumped when she felt the contact, and as soon as she saw who it was she turned off the music and let her headphones aside.

"L-Lincoln, hey..." she said, wiping the tears away from her face as fast as she could; she sounded like she had the flu. "I didn't… hear you come. When did you get back home?"

"How are you?" He asked, ignoring her words.

She closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head. When she opened them again, all the tears she had dried away were back there again, and her watery eyes fixed themselves on the boy in front of her. Without any need for words, Lincoln hugged his sister, who quickly grabbed him and sat him on her lap, embracing him against her like she didn't want to let him go. He certainly wasn't thinking about going anywhere, not as long as she was like that. His sisters would be more than happy to have some alone time with Ronnie Anne, so he knew there was no rush to go downstairs. If he had to stay there for an hour, then his girlfriend would have to forgive him, but he would do it.

After some minutes, Luna stopped panting and soaking her brother's hair with her tears.

"I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's okay. Don't worry."

"I-I just… I'm sorry. I try… I tried following your advice. I tried to go back to my music, b-but… Everything… It all just… reminds me of you."

He didn't know what to say. Luna's problem, at first, was that she wasn't ready to accept the huge sadness that was killing her, so she tried to distract herself by taking wrong choices and doing things she later regretted. Lincoln had done everything in his power to let her know that sometimes she had to let it hurt. He couldn't tell her now that she needed to get over it. What could he do, then?

Luckily (and unfortunately) for Lincoln, he had gone through something similar with Lucy the day before. Both girls had a similar problem, and that's how he realized what he had to tell his older sister.

"Maybe you can listen to songs that remind you of me, but not in a bad way."

He assumed that her silence meant that he hadn't been clear enough.

"Luna… Let's not fool ourselves, we both know you… you're gonna miss me."

"Every day," she immediately said, holding him tighter.

"But I don't want my memory to be sad for you!" He told her, burying his face in her neck. "I want you to remember me for the good stuff. Our happy moments. We… We shared a lot of great moments. Like, uh… Remember when you took me to my very first concert?"

She snickered, and one of her hands began stroking his hair.

"How could I forget that? You were rockin' that outfit, dude."

"And you remember when you actually got SMOOCH to play in our garage?"

"I learned from the master of convincing..."

"We had such great times together!" He said, trying to look happy. "A lot! So maybe… maybe you can find music that reminds you of them instead of… Like, music to remember the good stuff."

Lincoln kept feeling her soft, tender touch on his hair. They seemed more relaxed, even distracted. She wasn't as depressed as when he found her a few minutes ago. He could have stayed there and keep working on making her feel better, but he decided that maybe the best thing he could do was keep her busy with something else, something that would surely make her happy.

"Luna, I'd love to stay here with you all afternoon, I'd gladly do so," he told her, "but Ronnie Anne is waiting for me downstairs with the girls and I don't… I don't want to leave them alone with my girlfriend for so long."

Luna's face lightened up, and any trace of sadness faded away.

"GIRLFRIEND?!" She screamed, before squeezing the breath out of her little brother like he was a teddy bear. "Lincoln, that's so cute! What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

With the enthusiasm and energy that had always defined her, Luna dragged Lincoln to the living room. Maybe he had only postponed a problem, maybe he would never find a way to really resolve it, but little did he care at the moment. He just didn't want to see her sad.

After a long interrogation that was extended until Lynn Sr came home to have lunch with his family, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne received the blessing from all Louds. It wasn't like they feared they wouldn't, though, since his sister's attitude had been pretty positive. It was really embarrassing for the two kids to have to tell them all about their kisses (not only the ones they had on that day, but also the first three too) and to say out loud just how much they loved each other. It was even worse when Lola asked them if they could kiss again in front of them, although they didn't need to be told twice.

His parents were also delighted with the news. Rita and Lynn Sr gave Ronnie Anne the official welcome to the Loud family, inviting her to stay for lunch, and she was more than willing to do so. For the first time since the incident on the park, the whole family was happy together, united in a joyful atmosphere.

When lunch was over and Lynn Sr had to go back to his job, Lincoln decided that he couldn't allow the fun and happiness to end just like that.

"Hey, who wants to play a family board game?" He suggested after his mom took all the plates to the kitchen.

They all unanimously agreed to it. Even Ronnie Anne was smiling at the idea of playing with so many people.

"Let's go to my room!" Lori said.

"I'll get some cushions and pillows," offered Lynn.

"And I'll make some snacks!" Said Lola. Ever since she had learned how to read cooking books she loved baking cookies for herself and the rest of the family, and nothing would stop her from impressing her sister in law.

"Lincoln, you choose the game while he set up everything, okay? Ronnie, come with me."

Luan grabbed Ronnie Anne by her arm and took her to Lori's room. The rest of the girls followed her suit, leaving Lincoln alone in the dining room. He smiled, seeing how his whole family was definitely trying their best to stay happy, at least for a little while. He went to the case where they stored all their board games, and instead of choosing one, he grabbed four boxes. Why settle with one if they could spend all afternoon together? He was going to call Clyde and ask him to come join them as soon as he was out of school.

With the boxes under his arms, Lincoln headed to the stairs, but he stopped when he passed in front of the family trophy case.

He didn't want to stop, but he couldn't help himself. He stood there, staring at all the shiny trophies. Lori's trophies of first place in golf tournaments, Leni's fashion awards, memorabilia from all the band battles Luna had won, Luan's achievements from video competition and comedy contests, dozens of gold trophies from every sport ever courtesy of Lynn, poetry nights that Lucy had dominated, all of Lola's pageant tiaras, Lana's Golden Wrench, Lisa's Nobel Prize Jr, and even Lily's thumb sucking contest trophies. Everyone in the Loud family was successful on what they did.

Everyone except for Lincoln.

He was the only failure. The only one that, in his eleven years, had accomplished absolutely nothing worth mentioning. His only trophy was a consolation prize made by his sisters, not something he had rightfully earned. That made him feel even worse, now that he could see it in hindsight.

His life was about to end, and he hadn't done anything remarkable. Nothing at all, nothing he could ever be proud of, nothing on which he had stood out. And it was too late now to change that fact. He had no time to learn a new ability or to win anything. He would only take to the grave what he had done so far, and truth be told, that didn't seem to be much.

It was too depressing to think that he always believed that there would come a day when he would start working to accomplish something big. That someday he would have the chance to do something outstanding. He used to think that he would catch up to his sisters someday, that it was just a matter of time. And he waited so long that he let slip a lot of opportunities he would no longer have. It was too late now to listen to his mother and do sports. Lynn had offered him to be his personal trainer a million times before, and he had always refused. He couldn't take on Luna's offer to be the guitarist for her new band, since he had never really practiced what little she had taught him. He couldn't become the co-host of Luan's YouTube channel. Every single one of those opportunities had been declined because he always thought that he could do them later if he wanted to.

And now he had to accept that he wouldn't have time to do them now.

"Lincoln, are you alright?"

Leni's voice to his left startled him. He turned to find his older sister staring at him with a worried expression.

"Leni, uh, I… What are you doing here?" He asked.

"You were taking too long and Lori sent me to see if you were doing okay."

How long had he been staring at that case?

"I'm sorry, I, uh… I..."

Leni leaned in and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. We were just a little worried. Come on, your girlfriend's waiting for you," she said in a happy tone.

Lincoln could feel his blushing face.

"Y-Yeah, sorry! I'll go now!" He said and, leaving Leni's giggles behind, he went upstairs.

Lincoln was completely oblivious to the fact that, as soon as he disappeared from her view, Leni's face lost all trace of happiness. He didn't know that she stood there and turned her face to look at the trophy case. After she took ten minutes to finally return to her room, he was the first one to believe her when she said she had just forgotten where her room was. He could have never imagined that she had just stared at the case, standing on the exact same spot he had been, looking at the trophies without even blinking.

Lincoln didn't know that Leni only went back to her room after the sparkle of understanding appeared in her eyes, and a great idea came to her.

.

.

To those readers that are still alive after these months and that found the time to read this crap, thank you! I hope you liked it. I'm really sorry I took lo song, life wouldn't just give me a break. But listen, the only way this fic will be canceled is if I die, and I have no intentions of dying anytime soon. We are getting closer and closer to the end, and it's time for new actors to get into play. Next chapter will be about someone special and new, and as you can see, Leni is finally getting involved.

In two weeks I'll finish this semester and this year of college, so I'll be back to this fic with all my energies. And like I said, we're so close to finishing! Like I said before: we can count the remaining chapters with a single hand!

I hope you liked it. It was the 3rd longest chapter in this story, and I enjoyed writing it.

See ya!