Heart To Heart

I accept the slim envelope of documents and the several files that Alley's secretary hands to me and leave the office as quick as I can. After my surprise at what happened had died down, my outrage at what The Voice had roped me into was close to bursting. If we were going to continue working together, some ground rules were going to have to be laid down. I was not going to sink as low as this so-called god.

Once I leave the administration wing, I stop at a quiet corner of the corridor and hiss angrily at The Voice, "That was wrong, threatening a woman like that. What were you thinking?"

The Voice rasps in a mildly amused tone, "I sense that you are upset Transmigrator. Do tell, what has gotten you into this state?"

"Stop playing dumb with me!" I snap, "Alley was not your operative. You were anonymously threatening her and her family if she did not help us, weren't you?"

The Voice responds, completely unrepentant, "Yes. Is there a problem with that Transmigrator?"

"Damn right there is a problem!" I bark, "I will not be a party to any more of this. You told me to help the Hero. Fine. But nothing back there was anything close to being heroic conduct. This stops. Now."

"Strange," The Voice hums, "that you would react so strongly to a few words being thrown about, yet have no problem with committing murder."

My mind becomes completely red. Are we bringing that up now Voice? You know I didn't have any choice in the matter. "What happened at the warehouse was different, and you know it." I growl.

"As I remember it," The Voice rumbles, "I did not provide you with any weapons other than the explosives. You, at your own initiative, procured that sword and proceeded to use it to murder three guards who were only doing their jobs."

I am speechless for a moment. It was true. But I had no choice! I would have died otherwise.

"Before you say that you had no choice," The Voice continues without waiting for my response, "Do be aware that I too have no choice in the matter. Unlike you, I am responsible not just for my own life, but for all the lives on this world. We both do what we must."

"Strawman," I finally manage to grind out, "I killed because I was thrown into that situation. You deliberately set out to threaten Alley."

The Voice chortles at my response, "I see, I see. Transmigrator, I remember that you had originally clamored that I provide you with what you refer to as "cheat abilities". I wonder, what would you have done if I had granted you the power that you sought?"

"I - " I begin speaking but quickly cut myself off, my face burning with embarrassment. I could imagine The Voice's amusement at my answer.

I would have destroyed anyone who stood in my way.

The Voice continues its questioning, "Before you met Mrs Alley, you wanted me to make her your "waifu", without spending a single moment thinking about what she wanted. Why the sudden concern for her well-being Transmigrator?"

"That's different," I protest, "I'm not setting out to deliberately hurt anyone. Not like you."

The Voice answers with barely concealed smugness, "Enforcing a lifetime of slavery is not setting out to hurt anyone? Gaining powers that would allow you to kill at a whim is not setting out to hurt anyone? You have strange way of looking at things Transmigrator."

I am rendered completely speechless. What The Voice is saying hits uncomfortably close to home, but still! It does not make what it did right! I have to hold my ground on this.

Then The Voice speaks, all humor gone from its tone, "Answer me honestly. Why are you angry about what happened just now?"

I sputter, "Isn't it obvious? You threatened a woman. You threatened her family."

The Voice sighs, "Transmigrator, please. We have established that you do not truly care for the natives of this world. At best you see them as distractions or a source of entertainment. I do not mind that attitude in the least. After all, you have been here for a mere few days only. Now answer the question. Why are you angry?"

I begin to make another protest but stop myself, knowing that The Voice would just dismiss it. What is The Voice getting at here?

"Staying silent? Then I will be blunt." The Voice rasps, "Are you angry for Mrs Alley's sake or are you angry because you are afraid of the consequences?"

"Afraid? What are you talking about?" I snap.

"Afraid of the consequences that arise from threatening her. I have noticed that the root of your dissatisfaction is in your opinion, I have not provided you with enough power. When what you really want is for me to grant you enough power so that you can live a life free of consequence."

This is too much. How can you just throw all responsibility on me? I am not going to put up with it!

"Yes!" I shout, all patience lost, "I am afraid. I am afraid that Alley will seek revenge against me. I am afraid that the police will find out that I am a murderer. I am afraid that I can never return home."

I draw a deep breath and wait for The Voice to reply. When it remains silent, I continue.

"I am afraid because I almost died twice. You say that I want to live a life without consequence, but who is the one making the decisions here? Everything I did was on your orders. And you are telling me to bear the consequences? What about you?"

Its all too much. I feel the tears welling in my eyes, the stress of my situation threatening to burst through a cracking dam. The Voice finally rasps in a surprisingly gentle tone, "Let it out."

And in the quiet corner of a deserted corridor, I cried.

.....

How long did I spend crying? I finally managed to dry my tears with my sleeve and return to walking down the corridor. The Voice begins to speak, "I owe you an apology Transmigrator. Things have been difficult for you and as your summoner I bear part of the blame."

I give a slight smile and ask, "That's a start. What about Alley then?"

"I will not apologize for that." The Voice states flatly, "What we did was necessary to secure her cooperation and at any rate, Mrs Alley brought it on herself by embezzling Academy funds. I found out about it years ago and sent her an email under the name of "a friend"telling her that I would keep her secret safe but would require her to work off her debt to me. I have kept my part of the bargain. Now its time for Mrs Alley to keep her end of it."

"Back to that business of bearing the consequences then, huh?" I frown.

"Yes." The Voice agrees, "Mrs Alley's story is a sad one and one might say she was forced into the position she is in now. Ultimately though, the choices were hers, and the consequences are for her to bear."

The Voice pauses for a moment as if considering something. It then continues, "Which brings us back to you. You are right to say that asking you to bear the consequences arising from our adventure is unfair. After all, you were ultimately not given a choice in the matter. Now, with the Crossroads barred, that choice is gone forever. You will bear the consequences simply because you must."

I wait for The Voice to continue, but then realize that it is giving me a chance to respond. I grunt to signal my general agreement.

"However, that does not mean that I am unable to balance to scales." The Voice continues, "As compensation, I will grant you the strength to shoulder what comes your way."

"I will grant you the power that you seek."