22

Retreat

The darkness retreated and came back, echoing in a strange whisper in my mind. The whisper demanded, begged, commanded, pleaded and laughed like mad. A whisper, then another. Then one, then hundreds.

This strange darkness was driving me mad, demanding to kill, to execute, to dismember, to hurt. This whispering... it's been with me ever since I arrived at Hogwarts. And I have no idea who or what it is.

Dumbledore, when I went to him for help, said it was a common curse and he couldn't help me, because what could help was in the darkest magic.

But the whispering continued, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat properly, everything was upsetting and annoying me. That's when I made up my mind. I decided to start studying dark magic, because otherwise the whispering would drive me mad for good.

I began to study all the dark folios of the Lute, to communicate with the pureblood clans and to gain access to their archives with legiliments, but it was all in vain. The whispers grew stronger and louder with each passing month, until my consciousness began to succumb, for it was easier that way. I could take a week or two off from hearing the voices, rest, sleep... but they always came back. They demanded more and more and I couldn't find a way to stop them until I heard about the rite of communion. But to perform it, I would have to become Great and Terrible, so that one would be born or come to be called the Chosen One.

From then on, I began to recruit followers, to enter politics, to subjugate the purebloods with magic and promises, with fine words and what they expected or desired. More often than not, it was simple impunity. I tortured many times, then I began to kill. And finally, I started a war against the entire magical community, because it was the only way to get rid of the voices that were splitting my consciousness.

I raged on, searching for legends and listening to soothsayers and diviners, which many Walpurgis Knights viewed with disapproval, but a few crucifixes in a row put their minds to rest.

And so, when I had nailed down the Order of the Phoenix, I received word that a chosen one from the prophecy had been born to stop me. And as soon as I heard about it, I immediately began to gather information. Even the fact that it was a newborn didn't stop me, for then I was no longer in control of myself because of the voices, and my psyche was kept honest from the final madness. So I attacked the home of the Chosen One's parents and ended up in front of his cot. My not-quite-mad mind tried to stop me, but the voices screamed alarm, demanding that the threat to Us must be destroyed immediately! But I needed this child to take part in the ritual... what ritual?! Just kill him and I would be free of the voices!

Then my psyche finally shattered and the remnants of my personality released Avada, but she was reflected back. And I crumbled into ashes and found myself in the darkness of the afterlife.

Horcruxes, I became one of the shards trapped within them. I wanted to get out of here, to escape, to finally dissolve into The Hollow! But there was nothing I could do. And the voices came back after a while and continued to drive me mad until I heard the voice. Unlike the voices, this voice was not demanding, not asking, not commanding. It was just calling my name. And the voices that had surrounded me and driven me mad until that moment suddenly began to fall silent.

I cannot tell you the bliss I felt when they were completely silent and only the voice calling me remained. A calm, strong voice was calling to me and I decided to trust that voice as it was the one that had delivered me from the voices! And I was frankly afraid that as soon as it was gone, those crazy voices would come back...

And I walked through the darkness. Walked to my name, called by that pleasant voice that did not ask for evil or remind me of the evil I had done.

And soon I was blinded by a flash of light, then as if my ears were being slammed shut by a pressure differential I knew from the device, and then... my eyes opened.

My heart was beating in my chest, I could hear it. I felt the warmth of my body, I breathed in and out and at the same time my mind was calm and peaceful... there were no more voices!

When I was able to come to my senses from the happiness of the disappearance of the voices, I saw where I was.

It was a room of about twenty square metres. There were strange braziers on tripods against each wall, and a blue flame burned in them. And when I looked closely, I saw my Horcruxes in the fire! And beside me, my pet Nagaina, curled up in rings. A snake.

I was standing in a strange geometric figure, very complex and covered with a huge number of small symbols along each line of a thirty-six ray star in a triple circle. And opposite me stood a boy, no more than ten years old. He reeked of a dying stream of magic. This boy did all this? If so, I shudder to think what kind of child genius...

- Hello, Thomas Gont-Riddle. Or shall I call you Voldemort? - The words sent a shiver down my spine. I'd been through a lot, done things no one would ever dream of, but the voice and especially the inhuman wisdom in the boy's blue eyes made me wary of this young wizard. I had a feeling that this boy was much stronger than even Albus Dumbledore. But that's impossible!

- Everything is possible, you just haven't found the thought that will lead you to the solution of this riddle yet," the boy smiled at the corners of his lips. And I froze like a pillar of salt and, having got over the shock of someone reading me like an open book, immediately checked the protective blocks in my mind. Surprisingly, they were still there. How then?! - Don't torture yourself with this question, it's simple and complicated at the same time. It's like everything else in this life. What seems complicated to many people, seems simple and easy to those who have gone through it. But let's not talk about that. How's your head? Not in the throes of agony, of murder?

At the last words I raised my hands to my face and noticed how pale and thin they were, and that they were the hands of a child.

The man who was talking to me must have decided to help me, because with a wave of his hand he created a mirror in front of me, and when I looked into it I involuntarily shuddered.

The mirror reflected a ten-year-old boy with shoulder-length black hair, brown eyes and aristocratic features. A handsome boy, if it weren't for his anorexic thinness.

- It couldn't be helped. You can't use a homunculus for this ritual, and I don't think you'd want to be more of a bogeyman than a dementor. But I couldn't use anyone as a sacrifice, it's against me. And so I found the boy's body. He was in a coma, unable to wake as he was brain dead. It wasn't hard to bribe a Muggle doctor to get my hands on that body and, after the ritual, to implant your already full, healed, purified soul into it," I cocked my head involuntarily with a question in my eyes, but he answered faster than I could ask the question on my tongue. - Yes, you had an evil family curse. Whatever your relatives had done before, it was a truly dirty and disgusting business, since magic had given them such a curse... but even more disgusting is whoever unlocked that curse and made you the man you are now.

The last words made me feel like I'd been hit over the head with a club. Someone removed the protection? I had protection from those voices?

- Don't ask me to tell you who it was. It's a bit early to tell. You've got to recover and build up some mass. You look like a... skinny skeleton, really. And that will give you an extra incentive to get back in shape as soon as possible.

- Who are you? I finally managed to ask this decidedly inhuman creature. Yes, a creature, for the boy before me could be no other than a being beyond my understanding and comprehension.

- I have been and am called by many names and titles. You may choose any of them that you know. But here and now, my name is Harry Potter.

From the last sentence I heard, it was as if I'd been hit over the head with something. Awareness and shock came over me with incredible force. But most of all there was fear and relief.

Fear that I could have been killed. And relief that I hadn't... because he was indeed the one who had been able to free me from the madness. And I felt better than ever. With consciousness. As for the body... I really need to fatten up and build muscles.

The last thoughts rumbled loudly in the belly of my new body.

- I'm going, but I'll be back when you're ready. For now, you'll be taken to your new quarters and provided with everything you need. Enjoy life and pure mind. But don't forget the debt you owe me," the strange man snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash of flame, leaving me alone. But not for long.

A moment later, the door to the room opened and a strange creature entered. Incredibly beautiful, elegant, though short and frail looking, with fiery red hair tied back in a ponytail, slightly pointed ears and amazing pink eyes. The creature was dressed in strict business trousers, a white starched shirt and waistcoat, and black boots of fine leather on her feet.

- Hello, Guest Overlord. My name is Minnie and I am the house elf assigned to you," I almost experienced cognitive dissonance at the phrase, for I remember house elves in a very different way. So much has changed in my absence!

- Please start breathing, or I'll have to force you to, even if you don't want to. I am responsible for you to the Lord.

Having got over his surprise, I realised that I really hadn't breathed since the creature had entered, and I inhaled noisily, coughing.

After a moment I felt a light tap on my back and when I regained my vision I saw a glass of water in front of my face. After drinking the water, he went after the silent house-elf, who was not a house-elf to look at...

End of the retreat