Unsuccessful Acquaintance

"Damn, this is really invigorating."

My morning traditionally began with pain, throwing off the sleepy apathy from my mind. It's unpleasant, but if all goes well, then soon I will be able to get a few free points for pumping and get a little closer to my primary goal: to heal this damn body! Last night I thought a lot and came to the conclusion that first I should try to raise the level of the First Beginning on my own, and only then use the capabilities of the system. I wonder how to do it? Now the level of my physical soul shell is 45 points and I only need an additional thirty ... Well, yes, just a little more than the average adult in this world has. Ha-ha-ha ... In any case, unrealistic loads are needed for development, because I doubt that ordinary push-ups will help me. What did Batman do in the comics to stay in shape? Every day bench press a four-hundred-kilogram barbell, and a ton with his legs? I'm afraid I'm not that cool, and such a method raises certain doubts, although this is the world of comics, and the system should help in leveling out progress.

It's time to get up and drag myself to the shower. The streams of water hit my body unpleasantly, but I endure it, cursing through my teeth. Soon the improvised torture ended, and in my room I put on normal clothes for the first time... A dubious definition for a bright yellow shirt and a purple official suit. Add to the image green hair and a pale, almost white, face with bright red lips that look like they're painted with lipstick, what can I say: handsome. To my great disappointment, this turned out not to be makeup, but a consequence of falling into chemical waste, if I remember correctly the backstory of this body from some comics.

The lips reflexively stretch into a crazy smile, adding horror, but if you remove it, the appearance ceases to be so repulsive.

"Hah, but it really is not bad!"

The suit fit me perfectly, complementing the overall impression. In my past life, I preferred a more casual style of clothing, and I wore a jacket and trousers on the first of September in elementary school and for photos in the graduation album. Naturally, such clothes were bought at the market for cheap and were completely uncomfortable to wear, and they looked so-so, but the saleswoman with a gypsy appearance and half a gold tooth assured me, standing on a piece of cardboard, that in such beautiful clothes I could even go to a wedding right now. Now I felt how good a custom-made suit from high-quality materials is. Nothing rubs or presses anywhere, special inserts made of elastic material help raise your arms, and at the same time the sleeves do not ride up to the elbows. If you want, you can even do the splits. I walked around my room a little and did a couple of exercises, including bends and squats. It would have been truly amazing, if not for the occasional attacks of pain with sudden movements, although I have a great solution for this...

"Ha-ha-ha!"

[Smoothing out the emotional peak]

Thank you, system! Now I feel much better!

And what is this?

My hand felt some object in my right pocket, which upon inspection turned out to be a butterfly knife with a handle, already familiar, red-green colors.

"Festive."

I deftly performed several feints and froze. Did the body's reflexes work again? Let's try again!

Nothing happened consciously, and I almost cut my fingers. Inhale-exhale... Clear my mind and try again.

~Zang~

The knife slipped out of my hands and fell under the couch.

"Damn...I'll need to practice later."

With a sigh, I knelt down and reached under my sleeping place in search of a butterfly knife. It was this moment that Harley chose to visit me.

"Good morning, Mister J!" she froze in surprise when she saw my protruding ass. "Oh... Have you decided to do yoga? Only the cervicothoracic deflection should be performed this way for greater efficiency."

The girl knelt down, standing sideways to me.

"Start in this position, then lower your chin to the floor so that your thighs remain perpendicular to the floor. Then extend your arms forward, palms down, and take a couple of deep breaths."

Harley performed all the described actions, which made her already tight clothes even tighter, leaving almost no room for imagination.

It took a lot of effort for me to look away from this beautiful sight and still take out the knife: I was not ready to take our relationship to the next level yet. I was sure that excitement would not be able to completely block the pain and then I would have to resort to memories of the interworld and smoothing out the emotional peak, which completely cuts off all feelings.

"Ahem... Harley, this is, of course, great, but I was just taking out my knife," for clarity, I demonstrated the find, immediately putting it in my pocket.

"I see... It's a pity, because I know a lot of poses..." my charming assistant stood up, shaking off her clothes.

"I have no doubt that later you will definitely show them all to me, but today we have an important mission! So let's go, have a bite to eat and go to work."

The girl came closer, carefully examining me and almost sniffed me.

"Something is missing..." she thoughtfully scratched the bridge of her nose, walking around me again. "Exactly!"

Harley quickly darted to the closet in the room and, rummaging around, pulled out a green bow tie, immediately pinning it on me.

"There you go! Now you look great! Other superheroes will simply bite their elbows with envy. How could they in tight tights compare to your incomparable style! Even Mouse would look like a complete loser... Although he has no shortage of skills in creating pathos and gloom."

"Thank you, this is really better."

Having adjusted the new accessory, I moved to the kitchen. Since the food was almost gone, today for breakfast there were ordinary sandwiches with sausage and cheap tea from a bag, which we shared between the two of us.

"Harley, do we have any cash?"

 I haven't decided yet what to do with the job, but the clown couldn't be as poor as a church mouse, could he? All sorts of bandits joined him not only for his pretty eyes: there must be some material component that we can spend on personal needs for now.

"M-m-m... I have a couple of thousand in the stash, but you always spent them on costumes... Usually, we just took everything we needed by force."

"Better than nothing, then take some cash with you, we need to replenish our food supply."

"Will do, Mister J!"

***

Two beams from the flashlights disperse the surrounding darkness, now and then snatching up all sorts of trash and piles of swarming rodents, although my vision has become much sharper, its sensitivity is not enough for traveling in complete darkness. Having left the water treatment plant, which adjoined the network of caves with our secret base, we went into the sewer tunnels. I had studied our route in advance, so I had almost no trouble navigating the intricacies of underground communications, walking next to the girl who sometimes commented on our route, comparing my theoretical knowledge with the real state of affairs.

"If you go further along this tunnel, you can get to Cross-Charring Roads, from where it's a stone's throw to Pigvin's club."

"These tunnels intersect with the catacombs of the old city, it's better not to go there alone: ​​the rats there are completely wild, but in a large crowd you can go to the docks on the Gotham pier."

"This path leads to the police station, you shouldn't go there without preparation either: the police department has been generous and installed a bunch of motion sensors and cameras."

Although I am talking about the sewer, where all the city's waste is supposed to be dumped, this place was relatively clean and without a nasty smell, thanks to the frequent rains that washed away all the dirt from the streets. Of course, it was possible to walk along the city streets, disguised with a ton of makeup and nondescript clothes, but I did not want to risk it yet, other supervillains are not rioting now, so Batman will be ten times more attentive. By the way, asking my sweet companion about what is happening in the city, I noticed one curious detail: major events almost never happen simultaneously and have small periods of calm between them, for example, the case that happened quite recently with the former owner of this body. The Joker could have organized everything long ago and kidnapped schoolchildren with commissioner Gordon, but instead he calmly waited until Two-Face committed several robberies in a row and was put in Arkham. For myself, I explained this moment by the scale of such actions, accompanied by a redistribution of zones of influence. Besides, supervillains themselves are different, and the same Penguin prefers to lie low while the Clown plays with the Mouse, fearing to get into trouble (the nuclear mushroom in the city center will not care whether you are an ally or an enemy).

Our first point of the route was a supermarket, or rather its underground part. Harley did not reinvent the wheel and therefore simply hung explosives like garlands on supporting vaults. In this case, the explosion would not cause much destruction, but would cause panic. She just did not want to drag herself back with extra weight when her idea with the police department and city hall failed due to serious security.

"Go ahead, Mr. J, demonstrate your updated skills–"

I was gently pushed towards the timer.

"–and watch your feet."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ... This will really be interesting."

Now I was more confident in my abilities, and thanks to the system I do not feel fear. Unlike my first defused bomb, there was a whole cascade, tied to each other with a backup network. Hmm ... And the advice about the legs was quite relevant, two steps forward and I would have touched a thin fishing line stretched near the floor. I doubt I had much time to hide after that. At such moments, Harley's confidence in me was both inspiring and frightening, the girl stood completely relaxed, not intending to hide in case of problems.

We'll see. The first thing to do was to cut off the signal system tied to the tilt, oh, and this solution was actually not bad: a small piece of magnet was carelessly inserted into the brickwork, and inside the explosive, apparently, a reed switch was installed*, so if you move the reed switch far from the magnet, interrupting the effect of the magnetic field, then "Boom", and there will be no more sapper or one careless clown.So, this wire needs to be cut, but I didn't bring the necessary tool with me. Although why would I need it if I had a knife in my pocket, which I used to cut the detonator wires. It was pretty easy, but if I had moved the device right away, the utility services would have had to wash my brains off the walls, and the forensic experts would have had to restore the loser's identity.

Let's move on and defuse the entire cascade using a similar method, carefully monitoring the surprises, of which there weren't many, showing that the girl was clearly slacking off.

"That's it," I mentally wiped away the sweat of my labor, and the system immediately noted my achievement.

[The Fifth Beginning (spirit) +1]

[Quest "Hero or Villain?" updated: personally defuse the planted bombs in the city: 1/3. Reward: 6 free points.]

Now there's the tedious work of collecting all the materials suitable for reuse. Harley got out another bag, into which she helped me put the disarmed parts. Half an hour later, the assembly was complete, and I was ready to move on to the next waypoint, but the system interfered with my plans:

[Quest "Hero or Villain?" updated: personally defuse the planted bombs in the city: 1/2. Reward: 4 free points.]

"What?! System, what's wrong? Hey!" my mental screams went unanswered.

"Mister J, are you coming?" harlequin looked back, noticing that I hesitated.

"Ahem... Wait. Just theoretically, Bats could have discovered the planted bombs?" I had only one explanation for the system's message: someone got to one of the "presents" before me.

"Of course he could. It's been six days already. If they wanted, ordinary employees could find them during a routine inspection and call the sappers."

Fuck... So what to do now? Go defuse another bomb, risking running into the Dark Knight, or be satisfied with two free points? At the same time, what is the probability that both remaining places will be found, and besides, you can scout everything in advance so as not to get caught. If someone does discover a bomb, the building above will definitely be evacuated and cordoned off, so you will need to look to the surface and quickly check for a crowd of onlookers and police. All that remains is to choose: a school or a construction company?

"Mr. J, are you hanging around again? It's not fair to tempt a poor and unhappy girl," she stood half a step away from me, gently touching my cheek.

"That's it. I'm back in the real world and I have one more question for you: is it harder to detect a bomb threat at a school or a construction company?"

"I don't even know... What will I get for it?"

"I'll pat her on the head," I didn't come up with anything new, and she hasn't earned a kiss yet.

"Great, you can start right now!" Harley froze for a second, thinking about something. "Uh-uh-uh. It will be easier for me to reason and come to the right answer."

"Of course," the girl was still standing close to me, so I hugged her and began to gently stroke her hair.

The decision was not the wisest, since she was languid and seemed to be thinking about nothing at all, immersed in a kind of nirvana.

Five minutes later.

"Hey, Harley, maybe you could answer my question?"

"Um... Just a little more..." she mumbled, burying her face in my chest.

"Just a little more, if you answer my question," I froze, stopping stroking.

The blonde raised her pitiful gaze to me, but that didn't get me. Realizing that there would be no continuation, she thought for a moment and said:

"It's harder to detect a mining operation at a school. The construction company is close to the city center and they often patrol the utilities there, and the school is still dysfunctional and on the outskirts of the city, besides, I tried and camouflaged the charges."

"Two minutes and we'll head to the school," I continued stroking my charming assistant.

Again we walk along the wastewater, carrying all the dirt from the surface. It's disgusting, but that's the price for relative safety.

A couple of times I had to go around some sections of the path when my hearing caught human speech in the distance. Harley explained that these were all sorts of outcasts like homeless people and completely sunken drug addicts who chose the sewers as their permanent location. Large arteries converge in those places, forming spacious rooms where such individuals hang out. There is even a whole garbage city in the northwest, although it is located not in the sewers, but in the catacombs, which are also not particularly clean.

In the future, I tried to choose less popular, so to speak, sewer routes and after five hours of wandering, we finally reached the right place two kilometers from the school.

"Harley, your task is to rise to the surface and scout everything. Stealthily!" I stopped the girl who was going to immediately get to the surface. And I understand her: monotonous walls and a confined space will drive anyone crazy.

"Okay," throwing the sports bag off her shoulder, she took out a long dark raincoat, gloves and a wide-brimmed hat. It was cloudy outside, so no one would pay attention to such clothes. The image was completed with a small amount of makeup, making her skin a more natural shade. "Don't be bored!"

How shitty waiting is. You just periodically glance at the dial of the pocket watch that you grabbed before leaving, and worry about the person who was sent on reconnaissance. The unknown kills... I don't even have a primitive radio to find out how things are. Note to self, I'll need to get a means of communication.What if she got into some kind of trouble, considering the not-so-prosperous area... Although it's unlikely, my assistant herself would cause trouble for anyone, only to reveal herself in the process.

When I was about to climb to the surface in search of my faithful companion, realizing the stupidity of this act, the hatch slid aside and her head appeared.

"Everything is clear," the girl reported bravely, having descended.

"You were gone for an hour."

"Naturally, it was necessary to properly explore everything without arousing suspicion. I can say for sure that Batman is not here yet, otherwise I would have already been captured. And I have news about the construction company. I have always been amazed by your intuition, and this time it did not fail: I saw a report on TV in a store window about the defusing of my bomb, which was discovered by utility workers."

"Then great."

I was about to head towards the school, but I thought: why is Harley dragging herself along with me? She can go to the local store and buy groceries while I go and defuse the bomb. The advantages of such a solution are obvious: I won't have to wait for her again, worrying, since I'll be busy with work, and this store is quite far from our base, which can confuse the greatest detective a little if he does find our trail. True, the remoteness of this place is also a disadvantage, but I plan to carry the bags of groceries, as the strongest and in the hope of pumping up. Decided.

"Go and buy all the necessary products, and in the meantime I'll go and defuse the school. We'll meet at this place in an hour and a half."

~Sob~

"Mister J, you're becoming so independent," she brushed away an invisible tear. "I'm so proud of you!"

"That's it, stop clowning around. We've already wasted too much time, and remember the kiss..." I glanced at the vaults of the sewer. "As soon as we get home."

"Deal!" the girl instantly grabbed the bag and climbed to the surface, and I headed forward.

***

"I think it's here."

Two kilometers on the surface turned into three underground. Having reached the place, I suddenly realized that I hadn't specified where exactly the girl had placed the charges. There was a cross on the map in the southern tunnel, and, according to her words, the bomb should have been somehow camouflaged. But no matter how much I examined the vaults, I still couldn't find any foreign inclusions.

"Great. And where should I look for the charge?"

Having walked along the southern tunnel again, I decided to go around the perimeter of the school foundation and immediately found the answer to my questions. Turning right, I came across a relatively narrow passageway running parallel to the marked tunnel, which I initially mistook for an ordinary thick wall on the plan.

"I hope it's here."

The passageway ended with a rusty metal grate, closed with a padlock. I had already begun to study hacking techniques, but they were of no use here, I only had to lift the grate and pull it out of the broken hinges, shining in the light of the flashlight. The path led me to some school communications and piles of junk that had been accumulating here for years. At first I thought that a bomb was planted somewhere in it, but as soon as I shone the light on the ceiling, my vision caught a brick of explosives, partially hidden behind one of the pipes.

"And here's the detonator."

It wasn't difficult for me to follow the wires to find it, covered with rags.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

[Smoothing out the emotional peak]

"Trivial."

A thin cable stretched from the draped cloth to the device, but it was not worth cutting. With my fingers, I felt that it was trying to wind itself inside and had about twenty centimeters of travel so as not to cause detonation.

First, there is a visual inspection in search of snags, and then fingers come into play, feeling the roughness of the metal. Light tapping in the right place slightly lifts the cover, where the knife blade easily fits, stopping the spool of thread. Now you can remove the interfering cloth, cutting the cable on the protruding edge of the blade, and calmly remove the top cover.The contacts leading to the coil are shorted, and it goes into the bag with the spare parts, but not everything is so simple, because now the internal timer has been launched, starting the countdown... A quiet rustle behind me sounded like a bolt from the blue. Without realizing it, I instantly straighten up like a spring, simultaneously turning with the butterfly knife clutched in my hand. The blade freezes a few millimeters from the wide-open eye of a short girl in a bat costume...

* A reed switch is an electromechanical switching device that changes the state of a connected electrical circuit when exposed to a magnetic field from a permanent magnet or an external electromagnet, such as a solenoid.