I decided to take public transportation to Bruce Wayne's estate. Of course, the buses didn't stop right in front of the billionaire's house, but what would it take for me to walk a kilometer? Besides, the advantages of this method of transportation are obvious, starting from the fact that passengers do not pay any attention to a strangely dressed man sitting at the window, and ending with a working wifi.
Well, let's see, the latest...
Superman once again accomplished the feat of saving a falling airplane. Some incomprehensible unrest in Africa. An explosion at the Capitol. Green Arrow helped the police bust a drug house. LuthorCorp stock soared after introducing a new compact laptop at a fundraiser they hosted. Nonsense, not really interesting, I'll watch it later... I was quickly scrolling through the news feed trying to find what I was looking for. Maybe I should have turned on geolocation or used a search engine.
Oh, there's news about me. It is a shame that it is in such a W, although this world is rich in events. There was a small video in the article, and judging by the number of views, it is relatively popular. Here I ran it, having previously plugged in headphones - let's see where public opinion is directed.
There was a familiar girl on the screen, she was the one who had hosted the talk show where Alan's daughter had appeared, but now the presenter was not in the studio, but was broadcasting from home. In the background there was an ordinary clothes closet, and the blogger herself was sitting at the table.
"Hello, hello, my favorite subscribers! The incomparable Mary Jane is with you as always. - She said with a big smile and winked at the camera. - If anyone managed to miss yesterday's live stream from the courtroom and then all the news about it, yet is now connected to my broadcast, I have just one question. Who are you people! Ha ha, okay, jokes aside, I know what you're here for today... Yesterday, all charges against Jay Arkham and his loyal associate Harleen Quinzel were officially dropped and a compensation of one hundred and fifty thousand dollars was paid! No, you can imagine!!!" Mary emotionally splashed her hands. - This decision was not made by the jury, the charges were withdrawn by the prosecutor after Jay's incendiary speech. By the way, here it is. - The girl clicked the mouse a couple times, starting the tape. It was quite enlightening to look at herself from the outside.
My performance was excellent, and even the laughter at the beginning did not spoil the overall impression, but on the contrary, it was sympathetic. It was not in vain that I spent so much time thinking about the speech and tried to take into account all the smallest details while I was sitting in the camera: pauses, body position, gaze, I managed to do everything perfectly, thanks to maximum concentration.
"Oh, sorry!" The girl set aside her ice cream cup and licked erotically, removing white marks from her lips as the recording was interrupted. - It seemed to me that the speech lasted much longer. So, I don't know how honest Jay Arkham was, but the prosecutor's reaction speaks for itself. - Mary switched to a conspiratorial whisper, moving closer to the microphone and giving a great view of her cleavage. - I had a friend on the jury, and the defendant was probably acquitted, except that the amount of compensation in such a case would have been much higher, just shh, shh, shh.
The rest was empty talk and promises to give me a proper interview as soon as I appeared in public, but I wasn't really interested in that yet. This presenter is quite popular, so her reaction and the number of likes under the video, which exceeded two million, clearly showed that the majority of residents, of course, are surprised by this outcome, but do not see anything wrong with it. Hmmm... Or was it because the presenter kept taking provocative poses? Okay, let's see what else is out there in the digital space...
"The Joker is a threat to Gotham!" Sitting in the frame was an imposing man in a dark suit. - The charges are officially dropped, but we all know who this man really is.
"But is he really to blame? Could his words about harm instead of cure be true? Arkham Asylum is a closed institution, and too few people know what goes on behind its walls. - The camera switched to John Crane, according to the sign, and then back again.
"All sorts of psychos show up outside the walls. Take the Enigma. He was brought up on the streets of this city, and that happened when crime was rampant. With the arrival of Commissioner Gordon, the crime rate has gone down, but that's because of the police force, which exists on taxpayer money. Since Joker's speech, there have already been several protests in Blackport aimed at reducing funding for law enforcement. I'm sure he wants to wreak havoc in the town again and is taking such bizarre actions to do so. This madman, like a Trojan Horse, is trying to strike a blow for your and my safety. If this happens, only heroes like Batman will be able to resist in case of trouble.
The interesting thing is that there's a grain of truth in what the host says. Something like this could indeed be done, but my task is the opposite: to make the city safer, and then, what the heck, take a swing at the entire planet... But first, I'll deal with the more down-to-earth issues. I left the vehicle and got on the next one, which would take me almost to the gates of the estate.
"Zatanna, illusionist performances." - I typed the topic of interest into the search engine, stumbling upon many photos that could be mistaken for light erotica.
A leotard, fishnet stockings and a tailcoat with a cylinder. That's how I remembered her from the last world. But this one has a beautiful face and a magnificent figure. The girl seemed to be trying to perform the functions of a magician and an assistant at the same time, and she did it perfectly well.
The enchantress is currently on another world tour, and her next performance will take place in... Metropolis.
Yeah. This is not what I expected. What should I be afraid of, though? I'm a law-abiding citizen now, so Superman isn't a threat to me, and I have a weapon against him if he gets cocky. But it's best not to use it in public.
"Five grand for a backstage pass?!" I couldn't contain my outcry, drawing attention to myself. - Fuck you! Sorry," I said to the surprised passengers, trying to keep my head down.
Shit, five thousand. No, I'm not ready to spend that kind of money, I'd rather buy security on the spot, it'll be cheaper anyway. Well, front row tickets aren't cheap either, so I'll take the back. Me and Harley have excellent eyesight anyway.
Here's my stop. I leave the bus and walk towards the estate.
From the familiar intercom came Alfred's voice:
"Wayne Manor. What's your business?
"Good afternoon!" I waved, lifting my cap. - Is Bruce coming out?
"Come on in.
The gate opened, letting me into the grounds. Autumn was in full force, turning the garden into a muddy mess, but luckily there was a clean, paved path leading to the house, so I made it to the door of the stately mansion without any trouble.
"Come in, Mr. Arkham. - Alfred stepped aside to make way. - Master Bruce will be right with you.
The billionaire appeared and shoved a heavy black cane with a hook-shaped headstock into my hands before I could move away from the entrance. It was really quite heavy, like a crowbar, and if it weren't for my strength, it would have been hard to carry.
"You'll figure it out on your own, now please leave.
"Wait, Bruce, what's the matter? What are you, like you're not family?" I stared dumbfounded at the man, in no hurry to leave. This behavior was strange. We might not have been friends on the island, but we still had a good relationship.
"Don't you get it? Thanks to your efforts, police funding is going to be cut. - Bruce loomed menacingly over me, crushing me with pathos. - Hundreds of officers of the law would be jeopardized, and the citizens would follow.
"Uh, stop. That's what I'm here for. Let's sit down somewhere, because it's weird talking like this in the hallway.
"Follow me. Alfred, make some tea, please. - Batman led me into the same room where we first talked. - Tell me about it.
"Damn, Bruce, I understand that you have behavioral patterns built in your head, and you automatically start playing Bats when you see me, but now you're Bruce Wayne, not the pompous Mouse. You need to change your behavior, or you're going to screw up in public. - I advised, flopping down on the couch.
A crease formed between the man's frowning eyebrows.
"I doubt we'll be seen in public together.
"Haha-ha-ha, don't say gop, but listen to my proposal. - I twirled my cane deftly with my hand and froze in surprise, so natural was the motion. - Ahem, ahem, so, I plan to organize a charity event in support of the police. I'm willing to spend fifty thousand. The money will be used to help those injured in the line of duty and for the development of non-lethal weapons, which will be handled by Wayne Tech.
"What's in it for you?" The resentment didn't leave the superhero's eyes in a hurry.
"The safety of Gotham, of course! It's fun to beat up gangsters and bring them to justice. - I tried to make out with my eyes who that phrase was referring to, and I think I got it. - But you can't do much on your own. How much is your Batmobile worth? You don't even have to answer, I already know that the word fuck is too soft. Just imagine that instead you can strengthen the existing police cars, for example, equipped with tasers or a cannon that shoots rubber bullets? Yes, they would be inferior to your toy, but there would be plenty of them! In the end, you can fully staff the special squad on the latest technology, then they will easily take out ordinary bandits with a minimum of casualties, and against super criminals can act.
"To put that kind of power in the hands of ordinary people...
"I'm going to hit you over the head with this cane, and maybe you'll get your brains back in order. You're human too, whatever you think you are, and you have your faults and weaknesses. But you're also a great detective and you're in close contact with Gordon. Can't the commissioner make sure only certain people use the new equipment? And you could put some kind of protection in there.
"Mr. Arkham is right.
"Holy shit. - My jump would be the envy of any Olympic champion. Three meters up! My heart felt like it was pounding around my throat.
A butler with a tea set silently appeared in the doorway. His right eyebrow was raised amusedly, expressing a silent question.
~Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak~
The chandelier creaked as I jumped and caught my cane on it.
"Ah-ha-ha. Bruce, what kind of material is this?" I calmly held onto the rough surface of the present with one hand, clinging with its hook to the light source.
"Why don't you come down from there?
"Just a second. - I pull myself up a little and grab the chandelier with my free hand, pleased with its quality fastening, then release the cane and jump to the floor. - Seriously, what is it made of? I mean, it's not slippery at all. - I scrutinized the device carefully, noting a few hidden buttons that I decided not to press yet.
"The coating is made of carbon with some impurities. The base is a dural alloy. - Bruce answered as if nothing had happened.
"Hmm, cool.
As far as I knew, this combination was very durable and relatively lightweight, though I couldn't tell at first: it was too heavy. I tossed the gift into my other hand and sat back on the couch, trying to calm my rapidly pounding heart.
"Thank you, Alfred. - I took the offered cup of tea. - Don't you think you could give some advance warning of your presence? A bell, perhaps, or some rustling clothes.
"A butler is supposed to be quiet and inconspicuous. And you're the first person in my memory to react, uh, so violently.
"Yeah, my nerves were shot. - I turned to Gotham's protector, who continued to follow me silently. - So, Bruce, do you agree with my proposal?
"You haven't said anything concrete yet.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha, right! We should have a fundraiser! Well, since my place isn't really suitable for it, and thank you, it's a nice apartment, I suggest we do it here.
"Denied.
"Oh, wait a minute! I'll take care of all the expenses.
"To start with, it's going to cost about 100,000. And then you're not likely to do all that, which means you're going to dump it all on me and Alfred. - The superhero was adamant.
Hell, $100,000 is twice what I was going to spend... Easy come, easy go. There's still fifty grand left in the stash, just enough to start a small game production company.
"Okay. I'm willing to give two-thirds of the money I got from the prosecutor, I didn't do a very good job when I started defaming the police department... But there are still some unstable people there, one of them had the nerve to beat me up on the way to Arkham, and I was tied up and couldn't even fight back.
"You provoked him on purpose.
"Well, uh. That's beside the point. And we're talking about a future gala. So what have you decided?
"If I may, Master Bruce," said Alfred Pennyworth, who was still in the room, suddenly, "it's up to me to organize the event anyway, and I don't mind it. Besides, it's been a long time since you've organized something like this, you need to remind people of yourselves. Bruce Wayne shouldn't become a recluse.
"I was at Luthor's party the other day. - The man has begun to waver and just needs a little push.
"You were there for twenty minutes at most and you were there out of necessity.
My interlocutor was deep in thought.
"All right, but you do it yourself, and you leave me out of it.
"Great!" A happy smile appeared on my face. - We'll discuss the details later.
Whew, it worked. The second choice of venue for the fundraiser was at the club at Penguin's. This choice may seem crazy, but the Iceberg Club is actually a pretty safe place if you make a deal with the owner. At least the other supervillains aren't likely to go there.
There was a long pause. Should I ask for a SIM card? Why should I, when I could ask Babs for the same thing? I trust the girl a lot more, at least in terms of privacy. Or I could ask Harley or Ivy about it; they have no problem using smartphones without worrying about possible surveillance.
Well, there's one important thing that's going to make all the difference. We need to find the one bastard who escaped the clutches of justice.
"Hey, did you catch all the escaped Arkham patients?
"All of them.
"...
"Do you know something?
I took my eyes aside, beginning to resemble the toy monkey meme.
"No, I don't.
Hell, I was sure he'd been looking for the latest patient for a while now, but it seems Bats isn't even aware of him. I hope my words have planted a seed of doubt in the hero's mind. I could do it, too, but my options are too limited, and who's the "Greatest Detective" here?
"Can you tell me about the cane?
"All right, let's go. - The man stood up, beckoning me to follow him, realizing that I wasn't going to give him any more comments about the escaped lunatics.
Am I about to see Batman's hideout? I can't believe it.
I followed the hero with anticipation, looking at the paintings on the walls, toward the center of the mansion. As we descended to the first floor, my suspicion of our destination began to grow stronger, until Bruce stopped in front of a double door.
"Come on in.
Oh, I had such high hopes. I saw the usual training room. A full-wall mirror, various exercise machines, a small ring... Whoa. The gym equipment looked monumental. If I looked closely, I could see that they were much wider and more powerful than their analogs, which I saw in the sports store. And what to say, if the simplest bench stood on real bollards, not legs.
Whoo-hoo! What I first thought was an unusual table turned out to be a big tire. Oh, Bats.
"Will you be there soon?" Bruce had already climbed into the ring, throwing off his sweater.
"Can I try it?" I walked over to the tire, which was about my waist and two meters in diameter. Shit, how much it weighs!
"Try it. - He began to watch my actions with interest.
In my search for suitable exercises to develop my first start, I read about a lot of techniques, and tire rolling was among them. It was time to move from theory to practice.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
I face the projectile, squat down, keeping my back straight, carefully slip my arms under the bottom edge, and then straighten my legs at the knees, resting my chest. Next, I grab it more comfortably, putting my knee under it and, finally, push it up, falling over to the other side.
The description of the whole exercise looks pretty simple, but it took me seven sweats to do it, and it's only one time, when ideally you need at least ten. Although there is probably less weight involved.
"Whew... Bruce, how much does this stupid thing weigh?
"Three hundred kilos. Shall we get started?
Wow, that's really strong.
"Of course. - I climb into the ring, remembering to bring my cane.
I practiced the functions of the gift on the dummy standing there, and there were only two of them. The first was a small harpoon, which could easily penetrate brickwork, so it was better not to use it on people. At the same time, the harpoon and the cane are connected by a very strong and thin rope fifteen meters long, created from conductive nanofibers. Pressing the button again causes the embedded projectile to retract its flaps and return back, by reeling the rope. The second function was no less interesting: a five-watt shock discharge with a voltage of between one hundred and five hundred kilovolts, which could be adjusted by turning the bezel on the handle itself. The beauty of the discharge is that it not only comes out through the harpoon, which is the tip of the cane, but it also goes through the entire tether, so it's quite possible to tie up some restless meth and shock him a couple times. For a second there, I wanted to go and visit Earthenface and explain to him how wrong the shit-demon was about pretending to be the Joker.
Naturally, the cane was relatively conspicuous, so you couldn't carry it around all the time, and the whole structure required energy to function, which wasn't surprising. The most powerful discharge took five percent of the energy, while a harpoon shot took one. It didn't seem like much with such a wide range of functionality, but I couldn't fly around the city mindlessly like Spider-Man or Batman using special bat-hook ammo.
Despite these flaws, the gift was gorgeous and I rejoiced like a boy.
After trying out the device and eight refusals to train me a bit, Bruce and I returned to the living room where I decided to discuss the upcoming evening with Alfred.
The planning dragged on for a full four hours and we even had to take a break for a light snack. All this time, a billionaire was sitting nearby, working on his laptop. I understand him: I would not like to leave the only close person who replaced my family alone with a crazy clown who has been behaving more or less adequately only for the last month.
For organizing a charity event, things turned out to be much more complicated than I had planned. For example, the guest list, guest musicians, chefs, waiters and security are very important, there are a lot of people to coordinate, plus the food and drinks to be used. Fortunately, most of the organizational issues would be handled by the butler himself, although I would still have to talk to Gordon about it, but I had planned to do that anyway. Once I was done, I said goodbye to the mansion's inhabitants and headed home.
***
Opening the front door, I immediately heard moans and speech coming from the center room.
"Nh. Mistress, punish your faithful slave.
~Slap~
"Ah!
"Do you dare ask anything of your mistress?
Strange... My assistant seemed to be in the dominant role, though it should be the other way around. I jumped in the shower, then headed for the sound of moaning.
That's right, as I entered the room, I saw Harley actively demolishing a dryad suspended on vines.
"Oh, Mr. J, you're back!" The girl abruptly removed the strapon from Ivy, and I could see that she had used the "back door".
"Uhm! Give it back!
~Slap~
The blonde gave another ringing slap to Ivy's flushed ass.
"Shut up! Now my knight will punish you for your heinous crimes, minion of evil! Go, Moon Knight!" The girl spread the dryad's buttocks invitingly.
Oh, so they're role-playing. I totally approve.
"It shall be done, my queen!
I moved closer to the suspended girl, placing my cock against her back hole. Since Harley was working that hole, I would continue her work.
"Hey! Stop! Don't you dare!" Pamela began to squirm vigorously, sensing where I wanted to go. - You can't go in there!
I might have given in to her entreaties, except she was bound by her own plants and if she wanted to, she could easily get rid of them.
"I cannot disobey the Queen's orders!
"The green-skinned girl moaned loudly as I slowly pushed inside her. It was tight, and I could feel the walls of her insides contracting frantically, as if for me, and at the same time the sensation of sparks, which were an additional stimulation, returned, but felt much weaker this time.
"Yes! Punish her!" The blonde, biting her lip, watched her best friend moan in pleasure.
"Mm-mm! Deeper!" The suspended girl was getting hot, while I was actively demolishing her ass by grabbing her hair.
"I'd love to, but at least fix yourself. - I couldn't work in full amplitude because of the suspension structure.
Suddenly the surrounding plants stirred, and I found myself on the floor, pinned on top of Ivy, who continued to thrust herself on top of Jay Jr. Which was to prove, she was really enjoying this. The excitement overrode the pain perfectly, so there was no need for fun memories, and I was able to give myself over to the pleasure.
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" Poison Ivy, consumed with passion, made a real race of it, caressing herself with her hands until we peaked at the same time.
After experiencing her first orgasm, I immediately took the dominant position on top, throwing her legs over my shoulders and continued my business, because one time was not enough for me.
I managed to cum a couple more times in the horny dryad's ass before I noticed something was missing.
Wait, where's Harley? A thought flashed through my mind, causing me to slow down.
"Uh-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. - The girl beneath me moaned, trying to thrust deeper.
"Nya-ha-ha-ha. - The laughter behind me made me wince. When I turned around, I saw a blonde girl dressed in a Sailor Fuku costume and holding a pink vibrator. - The great girl wizard will punish you, you wretched minion of evil.
"Ah... You're a girl like I'm a nun. m-m-m-m... - Pamela replied with difficulty, approaching a new orgasm.
"You bewitched my knight, so now I'm going to take care of you! Abracadabra.
Harley waved her "magic wand" and sparks suddenly sprang from it.
"Wow! I didn't know this thing could do that! Abracadabra! Abracadabra! Abracadabra!" With each word, sparks flew out of the vibrator, completely vaporizing before reaching the floor.
I felt Pamela tense up.
"Harley, he shouldn't do that...
"Yeah? But he does. Abracadabra!" The blonde staggered. - Oh, I don't feel good... Abr--
She suddenly fell to the floor.
"Harley!" We simultaneously exclaimed, rushing to the unconscious girl.
"What's wrong with her?" I gently lifted the fallen blonde.
"I don't know how I know! Phew, breathing.
I carefully moved my assistant to the bed. Her breathing and heartbeat were steady and there was no cause for concern; the symptoms were similar to those of a normal fainting spell, so we decided to let her rest, wrapping her in healing leaves.
The vibrator experiment showed that neither Ivy nor I was capable of what the unconscious Harley was demonstrating. It really was like magic...
"I remembered something. - Poison Ivy said as we cleaned up and sat down in the kitchen, so as not to disturb the sleeping sorceress. - I had a similar condition when I overexerted myself destroying a chemical plant.
"Energy depletion?" I made an assumption.
"I guess you could say that... But from where? She's never shown anything like that before... And my enhancement shouldn't have affected her like that. I just pumped up her body, and besides, it's been over a year since that procedure... - Ivy was very worried and didn't know where to put her hands.
"Take it easy. - I walked over and put my arm around the nervous girl. It was a supportive gesture without a hint of vulgarity, and the girl in my arms relaxed.
"Guys?" The faint voice of my faithful assistant came from the room.
"Are you okay?" Ivy was at her friend's side in a flash, pulling herself out of my embrace.
"I guess. My head hurts like a drunk. I'm sleepy. What's wrong?
The event was very strange, but I had a relatively logical explanation - the System and the reward for the quest. It is quite possible that when the source was activated, some of the magic was transferred to the girl next to me, who was actively involved in the process, but I can't tell you about it. In addition, it is unclear what it threatens. Although we will soon visit a specialist in magic and can learn the details, but for now I will give a primitive explanation:
"We don't know, but it looks like you somehow learned how to release sparks and spent all your energy on them.
"Really?!" The girl jumped up, but was immediately put back down by Pamela sitting by the bed, who gave me a reproachful look.
"Really. And let me tell you all about it tomorrow.
"Uh-uh-uh-uh... - The girl yawned widely, covering her eyes. - Okay... I'm really chopped up too much...
In a second, Harley was asleep. By tacit agreement, Ivy and I began to get ready for bed too, deciding to deal with all the problems tomorrow, before the dryad left.
***
I woke up to someone else's stare. The light from the street was enough to see the blonde with the multicolored eyes looming over me. It looked like my beloved had gotten better, and now she wanted to make up for lost time, but now wasn't the time, and she wasn't likely to be fully recovered.
"Go back to sleep, sweetheart. - I kissed the girl and buried myself in her hair. That's weird, Ivy had let her hair down before she went to bed... Wait, that's not Harley at all!!! Both of her eyes are blue!
Shit!
The girl in front of me suddenly disappeared like a fog. Here I am holding her and now she's gone... A delusion? A hallucination? Maybe I was imagining it. There was nothing to indicate that anyone had been here... Even my excellent memory couldn't exactly recreate the image of the stranger, as if she didn't exist... I pinched myself, though the painful sensation was already there, but now it was like a whip.
"Uh-huh. - The real Harley moved next to me, unhappy with my fussing.
I got up, walking around the apartment and looking in all the rooms. There was no sign of intrusion, so I went back to bed. The memories of the ghost had faded even further, becoming dreamlike...