Reality of fake Friends

Fake friends are like shadows. They follow you in the sun but leave you in the dark. Everywhere you look, there are instances of bullying and cyberbullying brought about by mean girls, frenemies, and even fake friends. These so-called friends are frauds that use other people.

They also tend to be one-dimensional and part of cliques. For this reason, it is important that kids know the difference between real friends and fake ones.

FAKE FRIENDS ARE SELFISH

Typically, a fake friend will only contact your child when they want or need something. They rarely text or call for other reasons. Be sure your child knows that if a friend never calls or texts just to check-in, then that person is not really a friend at all.

Most likely, that person is using your child in some way. It also is possible that these types of friends are just so self-absorbed that it never crosses their mind to reach out.

Fake Friends Thrive On Gossip And Drama

Stress to your kids that if someone enjoys gossiping about others, then they may be gossiping behind their backs as well. Gossiping and spreading rumors has serious consequences and is at the base of relational aggression and other types of bullying.

Fake Friends Require Faking It

The hallmark of a healthy friendship is that kids can be themselves. If your children feel like they have to wear a mask or cannot be authentic, then that is the sign of fake friends. In other words, if your child has to talk or dress differently in order to fit in with these friends, then they are not true friends.

They are probably part of a clique instead of a group of friends. Remember, fake friends often resort to peer pressure, which then leads to bullying, ostracizing, and other forms of relational aggression. Stress to your kids that true friends like them for who they are.

Fake Friends Are Critical

If your kids' friends are constantly criticizing them, it is time to take a closer look at the friendships. Real friends are supportive and encouraging, but fake friends often criticize others or put them down. Girls, in particular, are guilty of being critical, especially about weight.

They engage in fat-shaming or make fun of someone who is thin.4 This type of bullying is particularly dangerous because it can lead to eating disorders or even self-harming behavior. Help your child find friends who are encouraging instead.

Fake Friends Are Envious

If your kids' friends have something insulting to say every time your kids succeed, then they are not real friends. Real friends celebrate one another's accomplishments. Jealousy, while a normal feeling, can lead to bullying if it is not handled in a healthy way.

Fake Friends Are Not Trustworthy

Usually, good friends will keep one another's secrets. In other words, real friends do not tell the world who your child is crushing on. If your child's friends are always spilling the beans, then it is time to start questioning whether that friend is a bully. Stress to your kids that trust is an essential ingredient in a healthy friendship. If they cannot trust their friends, then they are not truly friends.

Fake Friends Sell Out Others

Real friends will stick up for one another, especially when faced with bullying. Meanwhile, a fake friend will either be a quiet bystander to the bullying or may even take part in the bullying. If your kids' friends are regularly selling out them to save their own skin,5 your child should consider talking with their friend about being so passive or start looking for another group of friends.

A Word From Verywell

Overall, relationships with fake people do not result in healthy friendships. Fake friends are often not secure enough in who they are to be real and authentic. They struggle with selfishness, jealousy, and insecurities that keep them from being a true friend. Help your child realize this and move on.