4.6

Subaru Natsuki had shrugged off Emilia's efforts to stop him and declared

himself her knight.

 When Subaru made his announcement, the hall became bereft of sound,

replaced by a thick, unpleasant cloud. Seeing the conflicted gazes of onlookers,

Subaru realized that something was going deeply, unexpectedly awry as

Miklotov asked, "Mmmm. A knight, are you. Marquis Roswaal… Who is this?"

 "Ahhh, a somewhat ignorant boy, is he not? …This is a poor showing, even for

him."

 "Indeed, what is the status of Lady Emilia's actual knight?"

 "Unlike the other candidates, Lady Emilia currently lacks a knight that she can

place her trust in. That is most certainly a matter of concern. Howeeever, that

does not mean simply aaanyone can be a knight, particularly one claiming to be

a knight of someone who may become king someday."

 Roswaal continued to speak in his normal tone, seemingly for Subaru's

benefit.

 "Fidelity toward one's master is one of the qualifications of being a knight.

Furthermore, the power to defend one's liege is required. He must have some

special quality enabling him to blaze the path for his master to become king. If

he does not, then…"

 A voice abruptly interrupted Roswaal's speech, hailing from the line of

candidates. All eyes fell on the handsome young man with violet hair—Julius.

 "—That alone is not enough, Marquis Roswaal."

 Julius elegantly bowed.

 "Forgive my intrusion. However, there is something I must ask him."

 When Julius indicated him, Subaru scowled, remembering the former's

hostility from before the royal selection.

 "You need not be so defensive. I have only one question. Once it is done, you

may do as you please."

 "Do I look tense to you? Why not let me relax a little, ditch the question, and

save it for tomorrow?"

 "Cease with the clown act. At least, if you truly wish to be Lady Emilia's self-

declared knight."

 "…What do you mean by that?"

 Julius regarded Subaru with exasperation, as if he was a complete dunce.

 "It seems you do not understand. Just now, you announced yourself as a

knight before the entire body of Knights of the Royal Guard of the Kingdom of

Lugunica."

 Julius slowly motioned to indicate the knights lined up behind him. Prompted

by his words, the knights in their rows stood at attention without disturbing a

single thread of the carpet, saluting with their swords raised.

 "Th-that's pretty good stuff there. Did you all practice that just for today?"

 Subaru was sniping to keep his wits under the pressure, but Julius's calm

composure did not falter.

 "Indeed we did, for we are highly aware we embody the dignity of the

kingdom on a daily basis. We train in body and spirit, including how to behave

in a ceremonial place. Are you prepared to learn all this?"

 Only then did Subaru truly appreciate the true intent behind the question

posed to him. Julius was asking him if he was prepared to shoulder the weight

of the title of knight, like the Knights of the Royal Guard behind him did.

 Subaru had called himself a knight to demonstrate that he was Emilia's

supporter and the person who held her the foremost in his thoughts—to her

rival candidates, to the knights, to the Council of Elders, and everyone involved

in the royal selection.

 "I…I want to…make Lady Emilia king. No, I will make her king."

 "Do you have enough resolve, and enough strength, to do this?"

 "Resolve isn't everything, and I know I'm not strong enough. The feeling in my

heart may not be the same loyalty and fidelity that other people have…but my

answer won't change."

 Subaru took a deep breath, wet his tongue, and braced himself as he stepped

forward.

 "—I'll make Lady Emilia king. I'll make her wish come true."

 "…Do you not think that this is an exceptionally arrogant reply?"

 Dismay entered Julius' expression, as if he were listening to a tale of an empty

dream.

 "Do you understand? People are divided according to their birth. Perhaps it is

best to use the term capacity. Nothing is gained by attempting to surpass one's

own capacity. Furthermore, you will never gain what you seek in doing so,

especially not the title of knight, which falls so frivolously from your lips."

 Julius drove the scabbard of his own sheathed sword into the floor with a

thump. On cue, the knights assembled behind him produced the same sound a

moment later. The hard, heavy echo displayed that he had all the knights

behind him.

 "Those who pursue knighthood require loyalty to lord and kingdom and the

power to protect their liege by force. No one may call himself knight without

either one of these things.—Can you still say there is the will, the power, the

resolve within you?"

 "Don't get all high and mighty on me with your buddies. I know I don't have

the power to follow through on how I feel as I am now…"

 "You say that you accept your current lack of power? I see; that is a precious

thought. If you had not acknowledged your weakness, I might have been forced

to reduce myself to your disgraceful level."

 Subaru was helpless to respond as Julius, unable to conceal his contempt,

heaped scorn upon him.

 "You understand that you are lacking in strength? Did you declare it so loudly

in expectation of a reward? Weakness is a matter of shame, not pride."

 "—!"

 "Next you will no doubt say your feelings will carry you through. I see. Your

emotions conquer all. Fine and well. Did you strive to earn the right to stand in

this palace with the might of your strong and lofty feelings? Did you come here

in an effort to insult us, the Knights of the Royal Guard, to the highest degree

 possible?"

 The stern words bit into him. But even then, Julius did not sheath his verbal

blade.

 "Only those of certain birth may be recommended for entry into the Knights

of the Royal Guard, the pinnacle of knighthood. This is not out of deference to

lineage, but because their ancestors have displayed their loyalty to the

kingdom, down to the very blood that flows through their veins. I do not accept

that you, nor the mercenary calling himself Al, have any qualifications to call

yourselves knights."

 "Bloodline… It's not like a person can do anything about something like

that…!"

 "Indeed. It is just as I have said. People are separated by birth. It was the

same in your home. Just because two people have been born does not make

them equal."

 "—"

 "Of course, not all born to knightly households become knights. Many lack the

will. A knight eternally strives for greater heights, ever willing to cast his life

aside, coughing up blood, to protect whatever greatness stands behind him.

That is the ultimate honor of those qualified."

 With classical nobleman's thinking, Julius stomped on Subaru's feelings,

rejecting the essence of his very existence. And every knight there felt the exact

same way.

 Not a single person in that place acknowledged Subaru as a knight. And yet,

he replied, "—Even so, I'll make Emilia king."

 "I do not understand. In the face of such rejection, why are you still even

here?"

 Cold glances from throughout the chamber watched Subaru's recklessness

with scorn and contempt. But Subaru couldn't feel any of that.

 He felt something far stronger—the gaze of the silver-haired girl behind him.

He felt Emilia.

 He couldn't look back. He didn't have the courage.

 Feeling her presence, he hesitated for a brief moment, and then answered.

 "—Because she's special."

 That was his answer.

 Julius's eyes widened slightly in apparent surprise. However, the surge of

emotion was immediately concealed when his face calmed again.

 "You are obstinate. I accept that you have a reason for standing here

regardless of whether you are qualified or not. In that case, I have nothing more

to say to you."

 Julius turned his back to Subaru as if he was returning to the line of

candidates. But his very first step halted, and his head alone turned back

toward Subaru.

 "—However, do not think that I accept you as a knight, or ever will."

 "What are you…"

 "I understand that you esteem her enough that you wish to protect her.

However, your thoughts are… No, it would be ugly to elaborate deeply upon it."

 Julius shook his head, pitying Subaru.

 "A man who brings such an expression to the one he wishes to stand beside…

is not a knight."

 Subaru's thoughts shifted behind him. Everything felt cold.

 He wondered what kind of look was on Emilia's face.

 He was too frightened to find out.

 That was why the next thing out of Subaru's quivering lips was a transparent

attempt to get in the last word.

 "Y-you're saying that whether you can be a knight or not is settled from birth?

What, every one of you was a golden child, the best at everything? Don't make

me laugh. You're not the one who gets to be called the knight among knights

around here. Don't think anything you say can get to me."

 It was a cheap insult. But Julius did not display his emotions as he casually

replied, "Subaru Natsuki, you said? You should know that speaking such cheap

insults to others diminishes not only your own worth, but damages the worth of

everyone around you. Subaru Natsuki.—There is no beauty in it."

 And so, Julius summarized Subaru's words and actions to date, rejecting

them, and him, in one fell swoop.

 That single remark made Subaru realize that he, and his own conduct, had hit

rock bottom.

 The candidates gave Subaru blank stares. Behind the dignified Julius, many of

the knights seethed with resentment at Subaru's rude statement.

 For their part, the rows of civil officials had no love lost for Subaru, who

seemed unable to make any argument not based on sentimentality. He didn't

even have the courage to look up and see what the Council of Elders thought of

him.

 Even if it meant making an enemy of the whole world, he'd be in Emilia's

corner.

 Until that moment, his resolve for that part, at least, had held strong, but…

 Before Subaru summoned the nerve to look back, a voice, clear as a bell,

moved around to his front.

 "Subaru, that's enough."

 The trembling of the hand touching his shoulder shocked him enough that

even he wanted to look away.

 Emilia took hold of Subaru's wrist as she bowed her head to the Council of

Elders and said, "I apologize for the waste of your time. He will leave

immediately."

 The words waste of your time sliced into Subaru's heart sharper than any

razor.

 But he could say nothing.

 He had indisputably taken his resolve, determination, and himself, and

trampled on them all.

 Subaru did not resist as he was led away from the stage by his arm. As Emilia

pulled him forward, he still couldn't look at her face.

 From the dais, Miklotov sounded hoarse, yet mysteriously, his voice carried

far.

 "I judge some of this to have been time well spent, Lady Emilia."

 Neither of the two stopped walking as Miklotov continued.

 "He showed us that, at the very least, you are not a half-elf like the one the

world fears.—You have a good vassal."

 Emilia paused and looked back.

 "—Subaru…"

 She was watching the Council of Elders on the dais. Subaru, standing beside

her, was not in her field of vision whatsoever. But when she turned, he could

clearly see her face.

 Her expression was frozen over. Her eyes were frigid with the readiness to

emotionlessly cast something aside, when her tranquil, clear voice stated

plainly—

 "…is no vassal of mine."

 Thus, she spurned Subaru's words and feelings up to that very moment.