To get out of debt I went into debt (Rewritten)

I looked at the crowd. They all seemed like golden sheets of paper to me. Tickets to success.

And I would buy that success with everything I have.

"Everyone. I'm starting a company." I said my tone even and unconcerned

The crowd looked at me with a blank stare.

"I will be selling minerals, coal and ores as such now. Mined with my special almost magical skills."

I didn't need to say anything more. So I threw the mic into the crowd and spun on the ball of my foot. I walked right back into the palace.

I had charm. I had more charm than anyone could ever dream of. Trying at a speech was stupid.

"What… What was that?" Asked the king, his short fat frog-like face glared at me.

"It was a speech. Isn't that what you wanted?" I asked, the king's nose flared his eyes turning red with rage.

"I wanted you to ducking inspire people! To teach them to have determination like yours. To teach do something pointless for years on end! Not tell them you're selling rocks! And throw away my very valuable speaker stone! And then just walk away!" Yelled the king

I shrugged

"Not my fault. That's just what I had to do."

The king rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Tell you what. If you pay me 500 gold. 250 for bad service and 250 for losing my rock. Then we'll be even." Said the king

~kings are powerful figures. It would Bad idea to anger them.~

"Okay. Deal." I said with a glare of smouldering hatred.

He shook my hand. I shook his hand.

And so. Without having any idea how money works. I agreed to a debt.

🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

The king's guards led me out of his palace and onto the streets.

So there I stood. Alone. I had no friends no prospects. And no money. In fact, I didn't even know how one would go about obtaining money.

~Shit.~

So I did what any fool would do when they realized they have nothing.

"ANYONE WANT TO LOAN ME MONEY? I'll pay you back double in a week!" I yelled

In a flash, a man in the crowd appeared in front of me. He had sharp snakelike eyes and a wide buck-toothed grin.

"You're the man who gave that horrible speech right?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Yes, that was me. I'm that man." His grin widened.

"Sweet so you want to take out a loan? At 200% weekly interest?" I nodded.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want."

"Okay. But if you can't pay it back then you'll become my indentured slave as collateral." He said.

~I'd already been an indentured slave before. So I'm sure I'd be fine with being a slave again.~

I nodded.

"Sure thing. How much can you give me?"

"Ten thousand platinum." He said

"Deal."

So I followed him to the place in which he did business. we shook hands and he gave me a sack of money.

~Alright. Now I just need to buy some ores.~ I thought as I stood outside the loan shark office.

I'd use this money to start a successful mining business. And then I'd. Then I'd.... Use that power for something? I don't know.

And so I was faced with another question. How do I buy ores? Where do I go to buy ores? What ores even exist in this world?

"HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS ALL WORK!"

I screamed to the sky. I'll admit. It was not a good look for a GOAT like me. Who the fuck screams and has a temper tantrum when they're mad?

The sky turned red. The movement of everyone in the crowd froze. A kid had thrown a ball in the air and it had frozen as well. Written repetedly in black on the red sky were the leteres Ex. Over and over and over.

*Tap, Tap, Tap,*

The sound of a stick tapping the crowd echoed throughout the frozen moment.

~What the fuck is happening?~

I turned to try to run. But I didn't move an inch.

*Zwip*

With an explosion of steam a…. A thing appeared in front of me. He had three faces. One where it should be. One on his chest and one on his crotch. Each face had a diffrent moustanche. Ranging from pedo-like to villan esque. Funnily enough, the face in the crotch had a cleft chin and no facial hair to speak of.

"I am exposistion. I exsposit." My face grew pale.

~This has to be some kind of eldrich horror.~

"I did nothing wrong. Ple—"

My mouth lost the ability to speak.

"Crap. I forgot to turn that off." Said the thing. Or I guess I should call it by what it called itself. After all, I'm a nice guy. I respect everyone's gender identities. So.

Said the exposition.

I couldn't make a sound as I watched it speak.

"Okay. Now I must exsposit. Once upon a time, there was money..." He paused for about thirty seconds after saying this. "And this is how money works. The weakest money is a copper and the strongest money is a plattiunium. Plattiunium can beat up mant coppers. It takes a hundred of one type of money to equal the power of the money in the type above it. One hundread copper to one silver one hundred silver to one gold and a hundred gold to one platinum. It doesn't go any lower than plattunim.

"The value of things is decinded by the great money sages. Which is actually quite a high-paying white collar job that is supported by the great god. Dat cash. EXPOSITION OUT!"

With a flicker and a stutter the ball fell. The child caught that ball. And everything returned to normal.

~Okay. Now I just have to find a money sage.~

It had worked the first time so I was sure it would work the second time.

"Does anyone want to be my money sage!" I yelled. People paused what they were doing and silently stared at me for a few seconds.

"No."

One of them said. They continued on with their day.

~Makes sense. Assuming that being a money sage is about managing money. Who would want to manage the money of a man who just walked out of a loan shark's places of business with a cartoonishly large bag of cash? The answer. Nobody~

I sighed. I was at my wit's end. I needed to know the value of goods in order for my idea to work. But how was I going to do that without this elusive money sage. It's not like I had the time to go and read up on the worth of rocks at a library