The Pyjama wearing man

I floated. I was subsumed within a quagmire of ideas

Or to put it more simply. I was dreaming.

Eighteen months. I had to conquer a continent and create a perfect world in eighteen months.

When I first started it took me five years to take over the world and over twenty to perfect it.

The fastest I think I could ever perfect a continent is seventeen months.

Meaning that based on that limit I would have to take over the continent in just a month.

There's only one way to go that fast.

I had to be a demon.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

I opened my eyes to a stone ceiling and the warm light of a fire.

"Good your awake."

I turned my head in the direction of that voice.

Squatting down in front of the fire was an excessively tall and excessively jacked man.

He was so jacked that his head looked small in comparison to his muscles.

He had a large bushy red beard, cartoonishly large eyes and a shining bald head.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"I'm the arch granny's grandson. You can call me John."

I nodded whilst thinking back to the arch granny's recent attack on me.

"Okay. John…. Why exactly are you helping me? You know that me and the arch granny are kind of enemies right now right?"

John shook his head.

"My uncle was kidnapped by the king. Grama is only fighting because of that. I'm here to ask you to help free him. Then she'll switch sides."

I nodded.

"Why can't she just let me kill the king? Then he can't threaten her son."

John shook his head.

"No can do. One of the kings subordinates will just kill uncle."

I gave John a pensive nod.

~okay. So the main problem is the subordinates. Even if I kill the king as long as the information gets passed down someone will kill the uncle. At what point can I attack this problem.~

I looked up at the ceiling in thought. It needs to be quick easy to execute and simple.

That shouldn't be too hard.

~I'll just need to make a gun.~

I walked over to Craig's body. He was peacefully sleeping by the fireside.

Typical of an old man.

I gave his face a mighty slap.

"Eh. Buhhhh. I'm up."

He didn't seem to have too much reaction to the attack.

I leaned over till my mouth was at his ear.

"Restrain the other guy here."

Craig nodded.

Next thing he knew John was covered in muscle. Not his own as I'm sure was usual for John. But instead he was covered in Craig's.

"Craig is there anywhere I can go to get something that explodes?" I asked him.

"Why do you ask?"

Guns are hard to explain to people who don't know of them.

"You'll see. More importantly. Do you know anywhere with things that explode!" I snapped slightly irate.

"Yes. At the top of tulip mountain there's a shop. Just go there."

I nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to be busy with that for a day. Meanwhile, I want you to round up all of the arch granny's children. Make him tell you where they are."

I pointed at John.

"Why?" Asked Craig

"Simple. To mitigate risk. if all someone has to do is kidnap someone related to her to get her on their side. Then everyone will be doing it. So we're going to kidnap them all." I told him.

"Okayyyyyy." Said Craig with an uncertain tone.

I smiled.

"Good. I'll have to be going then."

I stood up and left.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

"Hey! Could you guide me to tulip mountain?" I asked a random woman on the streets.

She looked at me hesitantly.

"Haaaaaa. Okay." She said

What can I say? I just have that charm.

After about half a day of walking I arrived at a massive mountain. It was made from stone but somehow completely covered in tulips.

I was confused about how the tulips even got there. We're the seeds blow by the wind? Did someone plant them?

I had to be the ladder because there's no way enough seeds were blown there to cover the mountain.

I nodded to the woman.

"Thank you."

I then went about climbing the mountain.

I'd say it took about another quarter of the day to do that.

And finally after a lengthy period of travel I was there.

The top of tulip mountain.

On top of tulip mountain was a small shack it was made from multiple types of wood. So it was many coloured. It had no windows and it used a bent piece of metal as a Handle. There sign with a blue top hat painted on it placed on the roof.

I had to assume that this was the place.

So I walked up to the dark door of the shack and knocked.

"EH SOONNY HAVE YOU COME BACK!?!? IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS!"

The door to the shack swung open. I just managed to pivot back before the door hit me.

Before me was a short hunched over man blue pajamas with stars embroidered on them.

"Ummm. Hello?"

The old man just silently stared at me for a momment.

"Hey!" The old man yelled

"Are you here to buy my things!"

"Yes???"

"Okay then come in."

Of course I did as he asked.

And let me tell you! The inside of his shack was a mess like I've never seen before.

Pulled up sporadically throughout the shack were rocks of every colour.

I noticed two strange patterns. Rocks of the same colour seemed to be the same size and all of the rock piles only had rocks of the same colour also the piles were evenly spaced from each other.

So I guess I mean I noticed three patterns.

The roof was lit by a pile of glowing blue rocks in the upper right corner.

"So. Do you have something I can help you with?" Asked the man.

I nodded.

"Yes. To put it simply I want an something that can launch a small object fast enough kill someone. Roughly three times the speed of sound please." A second after I spoke I crindged.

~There's no way he'll know what the speed of sound is.~

The old man nodded.

"Okay. You'll need these rocks then."

He walked over and handed me a grey coloured rock.

"It will activate and send things flying once you say the code word. You can adjust the speed but anything over Mach one can destroy the object instead of sending it flying."

I nodded.

"Okay. I'll take the rock."

The old man nodded and handed the rock to me.

"And how will you be paying?" Asked the old man.

I gave the old man my best grin.

"With this smile."