prologue

The first time Estelle Lightwood met Matthew Fairchild was when they were both just children, both only just 12. They were the first two to be acquainted in their band of Merry Thieves. Both in their first year at the academy.

They spent a whole year there before the friends they would come to make even started at the academy. Christopher was 11 at the time, just a year short of attending. Thomas was sick, recovering, but still not well enough to attend. And James would start the following year as well.

They had an entire year to grow close enough to call the other their best friend. The thought of parabatai was quickly dismissed by the both of them, the main reason being that Estelle already knew who she wanted to be bound to. Her brother, Christopher. Matthew didn't want to be her parabatai because he already felt something past the realms of friendship, and parabatai would ruin that.

The following year when Christopher, Thomas and James came into the academy, the pair welcomed them. But, James did not seem to like Matthew, and they constantly exchanged insults and quips. Estelle tried to split her time, spending as much of it as possible with all of them, but it was exhausting.

Which is why she was relieved when one morning, she came to find Matthew and James speaking as though they had not spent the past few months at each other's throats. "What a pleasant surprise." She raised her eyebrows, sitting down in between her brother and Matthew. "Something lovely to wake up to."

"Apologies for what we've put you through." James smiled gently at his cousin.

"So, you've both come to your senses then, have you?"

"For your sake, really." Matthew replied, tossing an arm over her shoulder.

Matthew was there for every important milestone in her life, like her parabatai ceremony a mere two years after the pair met. They had all gathered in the City of Bones for it. All the Lightwoods, the Herondales and the Fairchilds. The people they were closest to.

Estelle spent the entire morning quivering with excitement at the prospect of her and her brother finally becoming what they've dreaming of becoming since years. But, when the time drew closer for the ceremony, her quivers of excitement turned into quivers of nervousness. She was glad that Christopher wasn't with her at that moment, but rather with their mother.

Matthew was the one who found her. Him and James. They sat down on either side of her and she would have smiled at how attached they had grown to each other over the last few months had she not been terrified at that moment.

"Everything alright?" James asked.

Estelle opened her mouth to reply before she closed it and shook her head. James took her hand and Matthew took the other. "Clearly not, Jamie." Matthew commented. "You're nervous, aren't you?"

She nodded.

"To be fair, I would have been more worried had you not been nervous. This is serious. Something you've prepared for, for a long time. It's only natural to be nervous."

"But-" Estelle's voice came out hoarse, and so she cleared her throat. "But, what if Christopher decides to back out? What if he doesn't want to be tied with me for the rest of his life? I'm his sister, surely he doesn't want to be stuck with me."

"Estelle, Christopher adores you with all his heart. He wants nothing more than to be by your side protecting you, and you by his, doing the same." Matthew looked into her eyes as he said this. Estelle took a deep breath.

"Don't regret your decision." James nudged her gently in the ribs with his elbow, and she smiled faintly. "He won't regret his."

"Yeah." She nodded, squeezing both their hands. "I love you boys, you know that?"

James laughed and nodded, giving her a short hug before standing. "I'll go see if Christopher's done being smothered by Aunt Cecily."

"Have fun." Matthew shot him a teasing smile as he walked away.

"You and James are closer than ever, I see." Estelle murmured, leaning her head against his shoulder, her hand still gripped in his.

"Jealous?"

"Never. I'm glad. James never really spent time with people. Just his books. Occasionally Lucie or me."

"Well then, you must be happy I came along." Matthew dropped his head against hers.

"The happiest." She replied quietly, missing the way his cheeks flushed at her genuine response.

"You're the best, you know that?"

"Of course I am." She smiled.

"I'm trying to compliment you and you turn it into a narcissistic comment." Matthew scoffed lightly.

"I'm joking, Matthew."

"I know you are."

"Thank you, though." She said moments later.

"What for?"

"Everything."

"My pleasure."

Then, it was time. As everyone gathered around the rings made around Christopher and Estelle, they both faced each other, dressed in sleeveless shirts, with their steles in hand. They said the oath, every word coming out strong and clearly.

"Entreat me not to leave thee,

Or return from following after thee–

For whither thou goest, I will go,

And where thou lodgest, I will lodge.

Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.

Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried.

The Angel do so to me, and more also,

If aught but death part thee and me."

Then, stepping closer to each other through the flames and drew the runes onto each other. Estelle drew the rune onto the inside of Christopher right wrist and he drew it on the side of her neck. The flames shot up and Estelle could feel the bond taking place between them.

When it was done, the first thing they did was hug each other. Estelle brought his head into the crook of her neck and stroked his hair while his arms tightened around her waist. When they pulled away from their hug, they had the biggest smiles on their faces.

Then, they were surrounded by family and friends. Anna was the first one there, bringing both her younger siblings into a hug and kissing their foreheads. Then, their parents. Cecily and Gabriel took their turns hugging them. It was all smiles everywhere, getting congratulations and hugs from everyone.

And just like Matthew was there for Estelle during her parabatai ceremony, months later, she was there for his. Matthew didn't get nervous. He didn't get scared. So, it was quite a shock to find him seeking her out before the ceremony with his blonde hair messy and her face paler than usual.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrists and narrowed her eyes in concern. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel too good." He admitted. So, she tightened her grip on his wrists and gently pulled him around a corner away from people and noise. She made him sit down on one of the ledges and she sat beside him.

"Why do you not feel good?" She questioned. "Is this not what you want?"

"Of course it is." Matthew said softly.

"Then, what's the matter?"

"Everyone is telling me how bad of a decision I'm making, and I know it's not true. But, what if James thinks it is true."

"I'm going to tell you what you told me before my own ceremony. He wants nothing more than to be by your side. James is your best friend. He loves you. He would not have agreed to this if he didn't. Now, I want you to go find James, and talk to him, because as bad as you might feel, he probably feels worse considering everyone is badmouthing him." Estelle cupped the sides of his face with her hands.

Matthew closed his eyes and nodded, leaning ever so slightly into her touch. Then, he opened his eyes, looking into her lavender ones with his own deep green ones. "You're the best."

"I know." She smiled before kissing his cheek, squeezing his hand and walking away. The next time she saw him, he was marking James in the ring of fire, and she was the first person there to hug him, dashing to reach him before anyone else. "I told you." She said as she hugged him.

"Thank you."