chapter seventeen

"𝔚𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡 𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔬𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔰,

𝔄𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔭𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔢𝔡,

𝔄𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔰 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫."

~ Christopher Marlowe, "Doctor Faustus"

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James explained everything to them. Matthew, the poster person for hiding his feelings, drew himself up and lifted his chin. "Then, if you must go, I will go with you."

"It won't work." James denied him softly. "No one can follow me into the shadows, Math. Not even you."

Matthew walked to the archway and Estelle watched as he reached his arm out but it bounced back as though he slammed it into glass. He turned back to them and he was shaking. "Does anyone have rope?"

Luckily Cordelia had the rope that they used to climb into Emmanuel Gast's apartment. Matthew took it and they watched as he tied it around James' waist, then he secured the other end to his own waist. "Go on, then." He turned to James. "If something happens – if you need us to pull you back through – tug on the rope three times.

"I will." James nodded. "Cordelia – "

She kissed his cheek. "Come back."

And Estelle watched as her cousin took one last look before disappearing through the gateway. Estelle took a step back and her hand reached out to grip one of the tombs, she sank down to the ground and leaned her head back.

Matthew shot her a concerned look and was about to ask her if she was alright but Cordelia shot him a look and approached the Lightwood girl herself.

"Estelle, is everything alright?"

Estelle opened her eyes to see Cordelia knelt down in front of her. Her fingers unconsciously brushed against the band around her injury. "Fine." She smiled tightly. "Just tired."

"I know you don't want to tell them what happened, and Matthew probably knows in the back of his mind but dismissed it because it doesn't want it to be true." Cordelia whispered.

"I- I'm not sure what you mean."

"Christopher held your hand too. I saw blood on the ground beside his bed. Not the side James was stood on. You got scratched too, didn't you?"

Estelle unwrapped the bandage, considering Cordelia was hiding her from Matthew's eyes. She showed her the marks. "I did."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Cordelia asked softly, watching as the older girl rewrapped her palm.

"I don't want anyone to worry."

"Estelle, this could kill you!" She whisper-yelled.

"I know, I know. But we need to be focused on James right now. Don't tell Matthew please. Please." Estelle begged.

"I won't. But just because we're concerned about James, doesn't mean you don't matter."

"I know." She smiled. "I feel almost numb now. So much pain, from my end and the pain I get from Christopher's end. Maybe, this isn't so bad. If they don't find a cure, and- and- Kit- he dies, then I don't know how I'd live. Maybe, this is good, because if he dies, I die. I don't have to live without him. Whither thou goest, I go, right?"

Cordelia stayed beside her, a warm presence as she continued to grow colder and more feverish, but then she stood and went as close to the archway as she could. Estelle's cheeks and nose flushed and her eyes grew heavier. She struggled to keep them awake, but her vision was blurry, and she wasn't sure if it was the exhaustion or the poison.

Matthew kept giving her concerned looks, but she simply flashed a beam his way whenever he did, to keep him off her case. "The rope is still slack." Matthew said after a long time of silence. He was pale, too pale. "What if somethings happened to him?"

"Don't worry your pretty head about it, Matthew." Estelle said softly and a blush came on his face, stark red against his unusual paleness.

"You told James to yank on the rope if he needed to get out." Cordelia assured. "He knows what to do." She reached out to touch the space below the arch, and her hand did not go through.

Then, suddenly, the rope went taut, Matthew yelled out as he was yanked off his feet. Estelle stood, ready to help him. Matthew slammed into the archway hard, and then the rope went slack. He rolled away groaning.

Cordelia ran forward, Cortana in her hand and dropped to her knees beside the boy. She went to cut the rope. "No." Matthew gasped out. "James – "

But she brought the golden blade down and cut the rope. He collapsed to his knees, holding his stomach as Cordelia tied the severed end of the rope around her wrist and holding on. "Matthew, are you alright?" Estelle called, worried.

"I'm alive." He replied. "Bruised up, but alive."

"Cordelia – " Estelle cried out.

The rope went taut again and the force yanked Cordelia sideways, almost stabbing the girl with her own blade. She yelled out as she was dragged through the archway. Cordelia drove Cortana through the barrier and went through.

She was gone.

Just when Estelle was about to walk closer to Matthew, he dropped. He went unconscious and her eyes widened. She reached for her stele but she didn't know if she had the strength or the steadiness to draw an iratze on him. She was worried she might mess it up.

So, she sat as close as she could beside him and waited. Waited for help.

And help came.

In the form of Lucie Herondale. She appeared in the darkness and a flash of her witchlight revealed her. "Lucie!" Estelle cried out, a desperate crack in her voice as tears streamed down her face.

"Estelle!" She ran over. "Matthew! What happened?"

"I- he went unconscious." Estelle breathed hysterically. "I couldn't do an iratze, Lucie, please help him."

Lucie drew a quick iratze on his palm. "Why can you not draw an iratze?"

But before Estelle could reply, Matthews eyes fluttered open and his bruises and scratched faded. "Elle?"

"I- I'm here, Matthew." Estelle whispered.

"Matthew, Estelle, where are James and Cordelia?" Lucie asked.

"Archway." Estelle breathed out.

"James went through first, and then Cordelia with Cortana." Matthews' eyes left Estelle for a moment to dart around the place. "The archway! Where is it?"

"Matthew, try to remember – " But Lucie went quiet when the sky tore open and two figures fell from the stars. Cordelia first, hitting the ground hard, Cortana flying from her hand. Then James. He landed beside Cordelia, and both of them remained motionless.

Matthew and Lucie rushed to their sides, where Cordelia was struggling to her feet. Estelle dragged herself over, barely standing as she watched Cordelia. "James. See to him, please, not me – the demon poison – "

Estelle silently let herself drop to the ground, trying to keep her eyes open and on her friends but they fluttered open and shut. She caught murmurs of their conversations. Her vision blurred between random colours and absolute darkness.

Cordelia remembered Estelle was infected in between all their jesting and her eyes widened as she gasped suddenly. "What? What is it?" Lucie demanded.

"Estelle!" Cordelia looked around, panicked. "Estelle!"

"I'm here." Estelle's voice came. Cordelia dragged herself over, followed by everyone else. "I'm glad you're alright, Cordelia."

"Oh, you- I cannot believe I let myself get distracted. I'm sorry!" Cordelia cried.

"Estelle, what happened?" Matthew demanded. He fell to his knees beside her and took her hand in his. "Your hands are so cold."

Cordelia unwrapped the girls hand and everyone saw the marks. "She made me promise not to tell!"

Matthew's hands trembled as he reached for a stele and started drawing iratzes on her. They stayed for seconds before fading. "No, no, no, no! Estelle!"

"I don't have to live in a world without Kit in it, Matthew. If he goes, I go. Living without him, wouldn't be living." Estelle tried to smile, but it turned to a grimace.

"No! Estelle! You don't get to die, and leave me here! Estelle!" Matthew yelled, squeezing her hand as her eyes fluttered shut slowly.

"Thank you, Matthew. For everything. I never would have survived this world without you." She whispered hoarsely.

"No! Estelle! You can't leave!" Matthew dropped his head and pressed his lips to hers. "You cannot! I need to tell you how I feel!"

When he got no response and realised her eyes were closed completely, he dropped his head to her torso and sobbed. James had his hand on his shoulder, Lucie by Estelle's head and Cordelia on her other side.

But, just when all hope seemed lost, a familiar voice cut through the clearing. "What on earth is going on?"

They all looked up, all of them with tearstained faces and red eyes. It was Alastair and Thomas. The latter carrying a case. "Is that- Estelle!���

Thomas rushed to her side and fell down beside her. He opened the briefcase with shaky hands and administered something to her. "The antidote." He explained.

"She's going to be ok?" Matthew said, his voice weak.

"She should be. Look, the colour is returning to her face." Lucie pointed out and all the downturned faces lit up once more.

"We have to help Christopher!" Thomas stood, closing the case. Matthew stood and lifted Estelle into his arms. A group of Shadowhunters appeared behind Alastair and a cry echoed through them as Cecily and Gabriel Lightwood rushed through the crowd, followed by Anna.

"My Estelle!" Cecily reached out for the girl in Matthew's arms, but his grip didn't loosen. "What happened?"

Anna stood beside Matthew, grabbing her sisters dangling arm and lifting it to hold it. "We went to see Christopher, and we didn't realise he scratched her by accident. She's ok. Thomas gave her the antidote." James explained.

"Antidote?" Gabriel asked. "You have it?"

"I do. We can cure the rest."