Proluge

I was born the day of December 25th, right exactly when the snow fell from the sky. My mom was having a difficult time giving birth to me, they thought that my mom wouldn't make it. But she did. My Dad was there, standing beside my mom, holding her hand and giving her encouragement.

"Honey, you can do it. I'm always here for you, I will never leave you.." said my dad. I just can't imagine how painful it was for my mom. When I finally got out of my mother's womb, I didn't make any noises.

I was totally silent, they thought that I was dead, but my mom pursued the doctor, the nurses, and also my father, that I am still alive. They said the most painful thing for a mother is to see her child die in front of her.

"I know she's still alive! Please doctor do something!!"

They tried everything just to bring me back to life. Tapping at my back many times didn't work at all. Until they gave up and put me in my mother's arms, my dad doesn't know what to do at that time, he just cried, both of them.

"We are truly sorry Mr. and Mrs. Willowfield, excuse us..."

But then right after the doctor was going to step out of the room, I made a small hiccup then cry as loud as they can imagine, the whole room is filled with my crying. The doctor and nurses are shocked when they heard me crying, my mom and dad cried as a sign of joy, then all of the people inside that room called me a "miracle child".

My mom and dad are so happy because now we can be called a family, a complete family. As I grew older, they noticed that something was wrong with me. They noticed it on my 4th birthday.

"Happy Birthday darling! Here's your gift!"

I was completely silent at that time, and all I did was look at my mom. Staring blankly at her eyes.

"Baby, are you not happy to see your gift?" dad said. I came closer to them and took the gift, I quickly removed the wrapper then I saw a box. Inside the box was a doll. I'm so confused that day, I didn't know what to do, did I need to do something to make these people in front of me, happy?

I was just a child, a child like me doesn't know anything, so I just maintained my normal face, an emotionless one.

As the day goes by, I slowly understood that I am different from the others. In 1st grade, I encountered bullies, haters, and mean girls. So, I was usually alone at school.

While I was sitting in the swing, eating my snacks suddenly someone came closer to me.

"Hey let's play." said the girl, I just looked at her without saying anything, I can't stop myself to make a cold look at them, it just...comes naturally.

"Just leave her alone, look she doesn't have any emotions. So it's gonna be boring for us if she's playing with us, she's no fun." said the other girl and pulled her friend away from me.

Now I know that I am not like the others, I am totally different. My mom and dad did everything just to make me normal like the others, to feel joy, sorrow, happiness,s and other emotions that I don't know about. But every doctor said 'There's nothing I can do about it, I'm sorry'

Laying in my bed, the night of the 26th of May, I heard someone drinking in the kitchen. I looked at the clock and it's the middle of the night. Curious, I went out of my room and headed to the kitchen, I saw my dad drinking some alcohol and was totally drunk.

I know the reason why this man is doing such a thing, a man who uses alcohol is a man who wants to forget all the sorrows and pain in his life. I know what I can do to make my dad happy.

So in the morning, I quickly rushed into my parent's room.

"Good morning Mom and Dad! Time to get up!!" I said while I gave them my best smile. They were shocked but they felt happiness, I knew it because I can see it in their eyes.

From that day 'till now, I am still doing this. Sometimes I feel so tired I just make an excuse to go to the bathroom and do my usual face, I give myself just a little time to rest.

For me it's not a joke, it's not that easy to do fake emotions all the time, but I don't want to see my parents suffer again because of me. And I don't want to get bullied again.

But how long could I do this? My entire life?

I'm Sapphire Willowfield, a cold-blooded girl, always a target of bullies while I was not pretending. And yes, I'm a great pretender to avoid troubles. A woman who had never felt emotions like joy, pain, and sorrow. A girl who lives under the mask ...that's me...

And this is my story